For those who don’t know, Lovehoney used to run a regular Review of the Month competition, where one lucky reviewer would be the recipient of a £100 Lovehoney gift voucher for their efforts, and 3 runners-up would get £4 in points each (no one knows why it was only £4, it just was). Sadly, Review off the Month came to a close at the end of 2020, but all the past winners have been bundled into the Review Hall of Fame to have a browse of. The runners-up are also included too, though there are too many to fit in this index - but if you jump to one of the winners, you can scroll down and see them all there underneath.
A ‘’ means that the review has been lost, or the competition didn’t run that month. Here’s a small explanation why some of them are missing (though I don’t know which this covers):
Looking back over them I don’t think the format has changed in 10 years. £100 for the winner, 2000 points (£4) for the runners up. The prize structure has always left me with questions, but I have even more now I know its been the same for a decade.
(I mean, £100 for 1st place and £4 for 2nd seems a bit of a steep drop. And why not £5? £4 seems like a handful of 20ps, at least £5 is a note (big boy money ). Maybe we could suggest a few tips to zhoosh it up a bit )
It is rather a drop but to be honest, having been a runner up before but not a winner I was just quite happy to get a mention… I agree a grown up £5 note value would be good though
It is fun reading through them, I’ve read a few and will go through more later. A lot really are very brilliantly written with humour and full narrative.
I have never won it (or even been a runner up) so I don’t have to worry about looking ungrateful.
I did win a £100 voucher for the cake competition this year and I thought that was a nice chunk of prize, so I don’t think that needs upping. It’d be nice if the runners up got at least £10 though (which would still leave a x10 difference).
And 1560 - 1344 = +£216/yr (+£18/month)
So roughly an additional 16% cost.
I think that seems quite reasonable.
Though, if you really want to go nuts, it could be Review of the Week. Top prize £25 (much less, but over 4 times the chances of winning ), and one runner up of £10.
52 winners @ £25 = £1300
52 runners up @ £10 = £520
(though you could do 2 runners up @ £5 each for the same money)
Total = £1820 (+£476/35%)
A third more, but you’d engage so many more people (104 v 48 prize recipients). And less than £2k/yr for a national promotion is a real steal.
I like your maths a lot and think maybe the £10 to 2 runners up each month (or 1 or 3 depending on the quality of the month’s reviews?) could definitely be justified… I’m not entirely sure the extra work going through and picking out winners and runners up every week could be justified though and if it was every week, to be honest, I think it would be a bit less special
Also… though I’m slightly loath to say it, you would presumably want to not keep having the same people win week in and week out but realistically there are not many of us that actually have the linguistic skill and narrative of members like @Blonde_Bunny and it would be rather unfair if lesser reviews were winning over the brilliant ones because they’d, for example, already won 5 this year and couldnt be given another. I know this probably does already exist but it’s less obvious with a greater pool to choose from picking just once a month.
Just reread your poetry @Blonde_Bunny - really is brilliant!
I believe they pick and put aside the better ones as they go, so theoretically wouldn’t be that much more work (the write up would even be easier, as it’d require less fanfare).
I’m not sure how shallow the reviewer pool is? But you may be right about the same winners. I’ve seen a few old threads where people complained about the same people winning Model of the Month (and that was mainly down to the same people entering each time).
12 just doesn’t seem like many winners for a whole year.
Okay, scratch Review of the Week. (the guaranteed content machine, that spits out pre-packaged articles ready to hit the weekend feeds… )
Maybe not a lot more work then but I still like the once a month fanfare
I do remember the discussions on Model of the Month (Never entered that one, definitely don’t have the bravery for public exposure!) but I think it is a similar problem. In that situation there were some photos that were clearly way ahead of others - and I don’t mean because they had perfect boobs and were a size 8 or a chiselled perfect 6 pack, I mean they knew how to frame, light and set a good picture to tell a story about the product bring promoted. Not very many entries did therefore it did end up being the same people regularly or as I say, giving the prize to lesser entries.
Obviously there are waaaay more reviews entered but at least 80% probably are, “I loved this, it was awesome, I came loads” and don’t actually tell you anything useful about the product. Those that are helpful, and I count myself in this category, are then split into the linguistic geniuses who weave a great tale and who’s reviews are a delight to read and the ones like me who present (hopefully) lots of informative information useful to potential purchasers but without the flair. There probably aren’t actually all that many who fit into the former category but I believe they should always be the winners because their reviews are the best
Perhaps controversially, I find the creative-writing/entertainment style ones a bit hard-going. And I never know if what they’re saying is accurate, or if they’re just saying it because it sounds good. I may even go as far to say that if the review sounds too over the top it actually puts me off buying the toy. Personally, I much prefer balanced and informative reviews.
(Though I possibly look for different things from the reviews as a purchaser than LH might as a retailer)
ETA: Important to add that people read reviews for lots of different reasons, and just because a certain style might not be my favourite doesn’t mean it won’t be someone else’s.
That is very good to hear. Don’t get me wrong, the winners obviously need to be informative and (hopefully) accurate but as an example of what I mean, one past winner I randomly selected to read earlier…
November 2013 for the Bedtime Butt Plug (sorry not included link but obviously in your table above), he talks about how he got it out excited, then realised he didn’t have batteries and had to stop and go and buy some but told much better than I just did. This may be for effective story telling rather than accurate though I hope it’s true but it still says, the toy does not come with batteries so make sure you have some ready but in a manner I found amusing and have since reading definitely remembered. I enjoyed reading the review as well as it containing all information I needed about the toy if I was looking to get it.
I do agree though, the most important thing is that a review answers all the questions you might have about a product. That is the main thing. Especially (and I have to throw this in at every opportunity), with lingerie, what size are you and what size did you buy!!! Not just, “It fits really well”, with no additional information . Drives me mad… sorry I digress…
I think I just enjoy story time but I myself am no novelist
I do have to point out as well though that all well written, helpful reviews do win us prizes… Yes, there’s the glory to be had in the monthly Review awards and you can spend your winnings on whatever takes your fancy but if you write consistently informative and helpful reviews you also get chosen to test products so I think there is lots of motivation for people to write good reviews
Would be interested to see how many of the top reviews are/aren’t 5 stars reviews.
Often the most helpful reviews will highlight why it might not have been quite right for them and why it may suit others instead. For instance body type or personal preferences. Even if you like something it could be worth mentioning if you think it may not suit all.
Don’t want to incentivise people to gloss over any shortcomings. Honesty and full disclosure make reviews more helpful and trustworthy
@Blonde_Bunny , I love your review writing and, as you say, you put in all pertinent information just with, as I put it above, flair, but I get a more concise break down of information about the toy is more helpful if you’re not a big reader.
Personally, I’ve written some reviews of things that I was not a fan of but generally only if I feel that bits have been missed out of other reviews that might be important to potential buyers. If I’ve found a product a bit “meh” and it already has lots of reviews I probably wouldnt add my own whereas I enjoy writing reviews for products I’ve found great so I probably do write more of these.
The runners-up are also included too, though there are too many to fit in this index - but if you jump to one of the winners, you can scroll down and see them all there underneath. 
Bring Back Review Of The Month!
. Drives me mad… sorry I digress…
