Review Hall of Fame

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Optimized, 24 Mar 2017
Bondage Boutique Soft Cotton Black Shibari Rope 10 Metre

Bound to please

My first few forays into bondage involved my mate using his old neckties to tie me up. This was okay for giving things a go, but after a few months I decided it was time to invest in some bondage rope.

I did think first about just heading to my local DIY shop for any old rope, but on second thoughts I considered that, although most likely cheaper, it might not be the most comfortable option.

I decided to order the black Bondage Boutique Shibari 10 metre rope for a couple of reasons. Firstly I wanted something that looked like it meant business, and for me the black coloured option stood out here. Also I ordered the 10 metre version as I wanted plenty of options in terms of how my playmate and I could use it. Like some of the other reviewers, I cut the rope in half, giving us ample length to tie both upper and lower limbs independently.

So the rope itself? You can feel that it’s soft as soon as you take it out of the packaging, and it has a bit of give (a slightly stretchiness), which means that it doesn’t tend to bite into the skin even when it’s pulled quite tight. I’ve used it a lot over the last few months and have found that it’s very strong and definitely does its job of securing and restraining everything, and assuming the knots are tied quite firmly, then there’s no premature escaping!

I’ve always found it very easy to untie knots and tangles afterwards and tend to store the rope by looping it around my forearm and then tying a loose knot in it, making it very easy to use on the next occasion.

I’ve also found that the slight stretchiness of this rope comes in very handy if you’re into self-restraining - in readiness for when your partner arrives. In the past I’ve been able to pre-tie my feet and hands to the bedframe without too much bother, and my playmate is sometimes amazed at the positions he discovers me in. I joke that I’m the reverse-Houdini! This product, and my experience with it, has definitely piqued my interest about Shibari, so I will most likely buy more of it in the future.

In summary I’d say that this is an excellent option for anyone wanting to explore bondage and who wants to move from improvised options like neck-ties to something a bit more fit for purpose. The black rope is definitely the sexiest option in my opinion and looks very good against my skin. The rope does exactly what you need it to without being rough or abrasive and is very easy to keep clear of knots and tangles. Definitely not a case of money for old rope here!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Colour, strength, soft-feel and slight stretchiness or ‘give’.

Cons: Can’t find a fault.

Bottom Line: Great option for bondage beginners and better than improvising with any old rope.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @scooby_dooby_do, 15 Mar 2017
Aneros Helix Syn Silicone Prostate Massager

Hallelujah

I have been trying to achieve a prostate orgasm on and off for a number of years now and had pretty much resigned myself to being one of those men that physically were incapable of having one. (Is there such a thing? Dunno!) I had tried a couple of massagers in the past. One was totally the wrong shape for me and the other was okay and whilst quite pleasant did not get me there.

Then I had an email from Lovehoney with an offer of a free Micro Magic Wand vibrator with any purchase over £10… Hhhmmm, let’s just try one more P-massager and get a free vibro too, I said to myself… and quickly nodded in agreement.

I perused the selection and chose the Aneros Helix. Let’s face it, some of them looked to be pretty intimidating girth wise but the Helix looked manageable. Two days later postie is hammering on my door and waving a Helix in my direction (discreetly wrapped I may add… God, that WOULD be embarrassing !) and the magic wand.

It’s my day off and no time like the present, so it’s out of the box in a flash. First impressions are it’s small, “cute” actually and silky smooth to the touch. Quick squirt of lube and it glides in a dream. In the past inserting things has been a bit of an ordeal for me, but this was a doddle and it felt like the tip was nudging just the right spot, as was the perineum thingy bit.

Hop into bed and lie there for a bit just getting used to it being there. Hop out of bed and light an incense stick. Let’s get in the mood here people. Lay back and focus. Hop out of bed and close the curtains, resume position. Right I’m ready now. A bit of gentle muscle contracting is all quite nice but no choirs singing yet.

Ah , the Micro Magic Wand. I had the foresight to put in some batteries, so we’re ready to rock and roll. It’s on its lowest speed and I’m on my side. I touch it to the base of the Helix and it instantly feels good. No, great actually. One minute I’m thinking we may just be in business here and then wwhhooooaaa!! I’m hanging onto the headboard like a drowning man.

The pillow’s gone across the room and I’m bucking like a demented rodeo rider. My pelvis is thrusting like a steam train and the face would get top marks at a gurning competition. I am normally far from vocal, but I’m single-handedly doing the soundtrack to a hardcore porn movie.

I don’t know how long it lasted, but I’m guessing 45 seconds to a minute, not sure but I do know it beat the hell out of a 5 second cross eyed squint from your average ejaculation.

I lay back gasping for breath and trying to remember where I put the allen key for the headboard. It’s going to need tightening in the morning. I hopped out of bed to retrieve the pillow from the other side of the room before jumping back to planet ecstasy and commencing round two shortly followed by three and four. Cue the singing choir.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Not intimidatingly large.

Cons: Nowt. What’s not to like.

Bottom Line: Ideal for prostate play “newbies”.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Nymphetamine_Dolly, 14 Mar 2017
Tracey Cox Supersex Single Silicone Toner Ball 39g

Exercise just got fun

I have wanted to try a toner ball for quite some time but found the concept of cordless Ben Wa balls a little bit daunting. Then I discovered this little gem!

The Tracey Cox Toner Ball comes discreetly packaged and in a little box that ensures that the toy reaches you in perfect condition.

What I love about Tracey Cox toys is that each one comes with a little booklet with suggestions and instructions meaning that you don’t have to stand there wondering what you should and shouldn’t do with your new toy. (Although being shaped like a sperm doesn’t leave much to guess work!)

As soon as mine arrived I couldn’t wait to give it a go after reading all of the positive reviews, and I have to say that I totally agree with them!

The lovely silky texture of the toner ball makes insertion super easy with only a small amount of lubrication! The first few times I applied a little water-based lubricant but have also just popped the ball into my mouth in order to lubricate it. Both have been enough to ensure a smooth insertion.

Once the ball is in place the cord hangs out (similar to a tampon) to make removal easy and mess free which is a feature that I really appreciate! I thought that it might get in the way but when I’m wearing the toner ball I find myself so focused on the feelings of it being inside me that I totally forget about the exterior cord!

The egg-shaped ball has a ball on the inside that rocks back-and-forth as you move, sending pleasurable vibrations throughout.

Small enough that it isn’t painful to wear for long periods of time but large enough so that you never forget it’s there - perfect.

Through a little foreplay my partner and I discovered what a fantastic masturbation toy this is!

You can use one hand to gently tug the cord while the other stimulates the clitoris to create a delicious cocktail of sensations.

Alternatively, have your partner tug and push the pull while they pleasure you orally - be prepared for mind-blowing orgasms! As you contract around the ball the inner workings reverberate your own vibrations back and the sensation is really something else.

Not only does the toner ball act as a very pleasurable addition to my toy collection but it really is fantastic for working the surrounding muscles and to strengthen the vagina as well as help to improve bladder control. So not only does this modest little toy provide oodles of fun but it improves your health too!

I absolutely love this product and I would recommend it to anyone, but especially beginners that are concerned about cordless toys.

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: Discreet packaging. Perfect size. Smooth texture. Versatile. Cord provides extra control.

Cons: I would have liked a variation of colours.

Bottom Line: If only all exercises were this fun!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @SoftCollar, 29 Apr 17
Lovehoney Bliss Orgasm Balm 20g

Cool clitoris

I’ve always been intrigued by these little orgasm balms, but was a little apprehensive after a bad experience with a Durex tingly lube.

So, when I saw this on offer in the Deal of the Day I just had to give it a go! I’m so glad I did too.

I normally struggle to maintain sensitivity during solo play, so I’ve got this cute little tin stashed with my C-spot toys.

The balm is super silky and glides on the skin nicely. You only need a bit too! It doesn’t really have much of a scent either, so it doesn’t add or take away from the experience.

Thankfully the balm doesn’t slap you in the nethers with instant cooling, which is what put me off with the Durex tingly lube.

This balm gradually cools and increases your sensitivity without it being overwhelming. You can always apply more if you wanted that though.

I found the gradual cooling to be a great benefit to me. On the second time of trying this out, I applied this as I started to feel my own unaided sensitivity trailing off. This kicked in wonderfully and gave me a second wind to reach the finish line. Though applying at the start let me sprint to the finish instead of the second time jog, haha.

I highly recommend this to absolutely everyone, whether you struggle to maintain sensitivity like me or if you’d just like to intensify everything to the next degree.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Cute tin. Smooth application. Gradual cooling. Ability to layer product for more intensity.

Cons: No negatives.

Bottom Line: Highly recommend to anyone looking to intensity sensations.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @RosyCheek, 11 Apr 2017
DOMINIX Deluxe 1.9 Inch Stainless Steel Doughnut Cock Ring

My precious

Move over Jilly Goolden there’s a new connoisseur in town, a cock ring connoisseur. Okay, that’s a bit of an over exaggeration, I’m no expert but I am a fan of them as is my husband. We have disposable ones, buzzy ones, luxury ones, small ones, PVC ones, ball loop ones…the list goes on! After a browse through the site, the metal rings caught my husband eye. With such fantastic offers and discounts, it was impossible to say no to his puppy dog eyes.

Within 48 hours the delivery arrived discreetly. Not a soul knew the contents of the deliciously tempting boring box. On seeing the ring we were quite surprised at its size. Yes, we knew it was big as it has to go over all the dangly bits but seeing it was really something else. The high shine of the steel is stunning, there is no tarnishing, scuffs or flaws of any kind. The domed top gives this hunk of metal a softness. It doesn’t look very intimidating.

“It looks like a giants wedding ring,” says the husband.

Although it’s large there was the thought of’ ‘can it all really be stuffed in there?’ It can as long as you measure to make sure it won’t be too tight or too loose. My husband is of average length and girth and it went on quite easily, running a little lube round the inside ring helps. It makes sliding it on just that little bit smoother. A little word of warning, if putting the ring straight away without warming it up your todger can get a little fright and shrivel away a little. Don’t attempt to put this on whilst erect, it will not work and you can do yourself a damage!

“It’s surprisingly comfortable. The weight feels really good, it’s like a gentle tug on my balls. It’s not like it’s turning me on it’s just really nice and it looks bad ass!”

He’s right, it does look bad ass. Not too wicked though as I can be a bit of a nervous nelly. Not only does it feel good for him and look good, it increases his size and makes him last longer which is great for me!

I wouldn’t advise someone brand new to cock rings to try this as there is no quick release. Once it’s on and you are standing to attention there is no way to take it off until you relax. Safety first.

Overall: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Overall look, weight, comfort.

Cons: Nothing at all.

Bottom Line: Perfect for cock ring lovers just not for newbies.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Dannyboy91, 30 Apr 2017
Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl G-Spot USB Rechargeable Rabbit

The search for the perfect vibrator is over

I am a very sexual and kinky individual whereas my OH was not. She was inexperienced, shy and very reluctant to try using toys or anything she deemed too kinky. Determined to show her how pleasurable toys can be and how much they can enhance your experiences in the bedroom, I sought a top of the range product. If I was going to convince her I needed the best - so I bought this.

Everything about this product screams of luxury. It is sleek, elegant, and classy. The black with silver trim make it gorgeous to look at, no cheap or tacky bright colours here. It is heaven to touch, it feels so soft and inviting.

All of these things impressed her enough to give it a go, and I think she is glad she did. The vibrations were powerful and had her climaxing in no time at all. There are a multitude of patterns and strengths to explore, and you can have either the head, the ears or both going, depending on the mood you’re in. This, combined with the various patterns and strengths make for an almost endless variety of sensations that it can provide, so you can have a different experience every time, it never has to get samey (unless you find a combination you love - then you can keep going back to it!)

The fact that it’s rechargeable via USB is great - no more forking out for batteries all the time. It was also not too loud either - on the lower settings you certainly wouldn’t notice anything amiss if walking past the room outside, certainly if you had music or the TV on. The strongest settings do make a bit of buzz though - but just pop the TV on and you’re good to go!

This vibrator has everything - stunning to look at and touch, knee-trembling orgasms, and the potential for a host of different combinations and sensations. Everything about it is luxurious, and we will never have to buy another vibrator again.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Everything! It’s luxurious feel and sleek look, rechargeable, mind-blowing sensations!

Cons: Nothing!

Bottom Line: Will never have to buy another vibrator ever again.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @nordgirl, 03 Apr 2017
Bondage Boutique Faux Leather Collar and Lead

Beautiful collar

You don’t have to be an animal lover to get this product.

It is quite the bargain at that price. My old collar was some flappy, low-quality thing I got in a bundle from somewhere else. I knew I needed something better, and after reading reviews, and looking at prices and images, the choice landed on this one.

I chose it because of its sleek, simple, but high-quality design, because the fastening looked good, and for the lovely lead. I was not disappointed. It is sturdy and sits well on you, however tight you choose to wear it. It doesn’t shift around much in my experience.

The ends overlap properly and don’t flap around when it’s fastened. The material is soft and comfortably, but sturdy. I haven’t had any problems with it yet. It looks wonderfully hot on a sub, and the lead is perfect for pulling them towards you or across the room (or even tie to his penis if it’s a male).

I can’t really see any downsides to it. It’s a good choice for couples that are just getting into bondage, or have more experience. It’s a beautiful addition to my collection, and I anticipate that it will stay there for years to come.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Sturdy, beautiful, comfortable.

Cons: Nothing.

Bottom Line: A perfect collar at a very reasonable price.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @anon47583778, 02 May 2017
Lovehoney Cherish Me Satin & Lace Underwired Longline Bra

I will cherish this

I absolutely adore Lovehoney’s own brand lingerie and the latest range was no exception. Cherish Me might have been designed with brides and wedding nights in mind, but I’m a try it before the occasion kinda girl.

I’m not planning a wedding anytime soon, but I can see this being the perfect bra to wear during that evening or the honeymoon that follows. For now, though, I’ll be rocking it when I want a night of innocence and sensual lovemaking rather than an evening of our usual whips and chains.

It arrived packaged in the usual way, in just a clear plastic packet. It’s not fancy or anything, but I purchased it for myself so I don’t mind. If it’s being given as a gift with a pair of the matching undies, then placing it inside one of the lingerie gift bags would be better.

When I removed this bra from the packet I immediately noticed how soft and smooth the satin was. It felt extremely luxurious and expensive, which amazes me considering the price tag. I have found that satin can often feel cheap with other brands (mentioning no names) but Lovehoney seem to invest in materials that feel great for their underwear. I’ve never had a piece of theirs that I wasn’t impressed with in terms of how the material felt.

It wasn’t just the satin that felt great though. The lace elements were made well too. It’s not the softest lace that Lovehoney have ever used but it’s not scratchy or irritating by any means. It had been attached to the satin perfectly and there were no signs of fraying or loose stitching. Lovehoney have once again managed to maintain their super high standards that keep me coming back to their ranges time and time again.

Further credit to the design team for adding the perfect finishing touches. This bra features satin bows on each shoulder strap and one features the Lovehoney heart charm in gold. This matches the zip and adds a small splash of contrast to break up the mass of ivory used. I think silver additions would have cheapened the look of this range and made little impact aesthetically, so gold was definitely the right choice.

I ordered the small (6-8) and I’m a size four to six with a 30A chest. I found this bra accommodated my back size well, which was a bit of a surprise as it is not adjustable at all. I feel that this size in the bra is great for those who wear a 30-32, but it might be slightly tight on a 34. It may be worth sizing up if you prefer having some wiggle room. I also thought my cup size was well accommodated for although I see no reason as to why it won’t be flattering for all sizes.

The satin part finishes just above the nipple and the lace covers a bit more of the breast to avoid the bra being overly revealing. It still shows off the cleavage and top area of each breast, but the style leaves something to the imagination. I found it to be super flattering but there was plenty of cup room remaining for bigger cup sizes. It still sat as it was supposed to on me despite this and thankfully there was no gaping.

I have to admit that this is one of the most comfortable bedroom bras that I’ve ever worn and I’m gutted to see this being discontinued so soon. I feel like longline bras work for many different sizes and shapes, so it’s great to see Lovehoney making more of these. I hope there will be more to come in future ranges. These styles give me a major confidence boost when I wear them and they’re so quick and convenient to get into that’s there’s nothing I can really fault.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Everything!

Cons: N/A

Bottom Line: I’d definitely recommend getting this bra whilst it’s still available.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @tokimekiCat, 11 May 2017
Bondage Boutique Silicone Dog Bone Gag

Perfect for pet play and regular bondage alike

I’ve had this on my wishlist for ages and finally got the chance to pick it up in the “2 for £25 bondage” offer, so it was an absolute bargain!

On first impression it’s a lot bigger than I’d expected, but the material of the “bone” is quite soft and squishy. It’s not like a hard ball gag at all, it feels a little flexible and velvety, but very strong. You can bite down on it and even chew a little without hurting your teeth at all.

BF said that it was much more comfortable to wear than a regular ball gag, and he felt he would be able to wear it for longer periods of time without his jaw/mouth becoming too painful or uncomfortable to continue use, which is sometimes a problem with a regular gag. He also found that it made him drool a lot more than our regular ball gag (but of course doggies tend to drool a lot, so this isn’t necessarily a downside depending on your view!).

I find the gags with the “slider” type buckles at the back extremely fiddly and difficult to put on or take off quickly. This one has a proper metal belt-style buckle which is so much better. It’s easy to do up and undo without having to fiddle around for ages, and the leather strap feels really nice and heavyweight with plenty of holes for adjustable tightening so you can fit it just right.

The gag also looks incredibly cute when it’s on! Obviously it’s perfect for pet play but I feel it’d also be very useable for “regular” bondage play. Definitely very glad that I purchased this, pretty sure it’s going to get a lot of use!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Soft and comfortable to wear, solid strap and proper buckle fastening.

Cons: No complaints. It’s exactly what I was hoping it would be!

Bottom Line: More comfortable and looks better than a regular ballgag. A must for pet play.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Couple_looking_to_spice_things_up, May 2017
Liberator Jaz Motion Rocking Sex Position Cushion

Cushion The Blow

Priced at £79.99, I had to forget about all the Jaz and sing the blues. That was until I was able to cushion the financial blow with a decent discount code, thanks, Lovehoney.

Arriving, the box was small. Now, I’m not greedy but I couldn’t help but burst out “I expected bigger!” My comment nearly resulted in us in couples counselling, so choose your words wisely. On opening my package I discovered the cushion was compressed, once I released it, it transformed into the useable sex aid I have today. Forget about ever getting it back in its box though, you’ve got more chance of Justin Beiber behaving! Just as well it’s overall appearance is very unassuming.

I’m not the first nor am I going to be the last to say a good sex position can take a sexual encounter to new heights. I’m sure I’m not alone in experiencing miss-the-spot missionary, didn’t-quite-do-it-for-me doggy to name but two. And quite frankly, if like me, the Kama sutra left you feeling more like can-i-hell-as and grunting “I’m not a gymnast” look no further. I can assure you the Jaz will set into motion a new and improved sex life.

First off I positioned myself with my back over this glorious foam piece. My arched back left me irresistible and my oh delved straight in. Well, I’ll be damned! My G-spot came alive. A huge rush only similar to Leanne selecting you to review something amazing from the tester list! His each and every thrust commanded my inner spot’s attention. Now I’m sure there’s some science behind what is essentially a cushion but I thank you, Liberator, for the perfect angle and fabulous responsive foam which make the Jaz a marvellous invention.

By now the Jaz was named ‘you raise me up’ (nothing wrong with a bit of Westlife) but we decided it was time to engaged in some rock and rock, so we turned the cushion over. Now, this does require you to support your upper half and don’t try sprinting to the finish like Jessica Ennis-Hill either, a slower pace and spending time making sure you move in sync with one another will ensure a nice orgasmic finish.

I’ll continue to sing the praises. This is great for oral sex. With the lift, the Jaz provides my nether reign, my fella’s chin is no longer embedded in the mattress. Which means he spends more time making sure I moan instead of him about getting a crick in his neck. Winner!

Just one more thing before you find yourself with a Jaz motion in your Lovehoney basket. The cover. It is a lovely luxurious suede which is easily removed to wash away any love juice or lube. I know I put off buying this and I don’t want you to make the same mistake. Buy it! Buy it now!

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: It’s awesome!

Cons: Pricey

Bottom Line: Sex will never feel the same again!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @P4Pervert, 03 May 2017
Lovehoney BASICS Mini Vibrator

My Best Friend

My ol’ reliable. My best friend.

This vibrator was my introduction into sex toys and I still trust in it to deliver me with better orgasms than some of the more expensive toys out there!

I’ve had three of these vibrators over the years, and this is the one vibrator that never lets me down. It’s affordable, not too loud, small and the speed control is easy to use and is perfect for beginners.

I always have it on the highest speed, but when I first tested this out, the slower speeds were perfect for me.

It’s very easy to clean and the sleekness plus the size is good for those who are a little intimidated by some of the larger toys out there. I was a little overwhelmed and not sure about the size and whether or not it would be right for me, but this toy has proven me wrong. It’s definitely a great all-rounder and a great entry level toy if you want to start small!

I predominately use it for clitoral stimulation but it’s great for penetration also!

You can use it solo but I’ve used it many times with a partner.

The only downside for me is the battery consumption, although that is down to my frequent usage. Trust me, once you start with this toy, it’s hard to stop haha!

This toy has a permanent place at number one in my collection! I couldn’t recommend it more, from the sex toy veterans to the beginners, add this to your collection!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: The price, the power, size, speed options and easy to clean!

Cons: Battery consumption!

Bottom Line: A perfect all-rounder, amazing value for money!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @_sexybabe, 10 Jul 2017
Lovehoney Desire Luxury USB Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator

Strength of the Tango but with a softer finish

This is my third purchase from the Lovehoney Desire range. It’s one of my favourite collections; each item I have is top quality and a firm favourite in my ever-expanding collection of toys.

As I have come to expect with Desire products, the packaging is excellent quality - a stylish purple and grey box with a zipped storage case, the beautiful bullet and USB charger and instruction booklet. The case is embossed with the Lovehoney logo and the bullet also displays the same.

The bullet is small, firm and made from deliciously soft silicone. I own the We-Vibe Tango which is too strong for my clit, so I wanted something a little more gentle. This is certainly kinder for the more sensitive clitoris as the silicone is softer than the hard plastic of the Tango. It’s still very powerful though! - See below!

I love the colour, purple always seems to look luxurious! It’s quite light in terms of weight.

Unfortunately, mine didn’t come partially charged, although other reviewers have said theirs did. So I charged it up for the full 90 minutes ready for play. It has magnetic bits on the bottom which you connect the USB charger to, you just need a plug or USB socket to plug it into.

Turning it on I was quite shocked at the power; I’d say this is almost on a par with the Tango. The vibrations do travel into your hand as it’s a small toy, but I don’t find it uncomfortable to hold for a session, even a long one with numerous orgasms! It has one button so you have to scroll through patterns and can’t go back a step, but it has a memory function so it recalls the last pattern/speed you used it on which I like.

There are lots of patterns and speeds. I can’t handle some of the more powerful ones, though I love the more gentle ones and I can (just about) manage direct clitoral stimulation with this but I have to work my way up to it If I’m feeling a bit delicate I hold it lengthways and press it just to the side of my clit.

The tip is ideal for pinpoint stimulation but you can hold it on the side of you prefer. It’s great for use all over your vagina, the strong vibrations can be felt throughout.

Noise wise it isn’t that quiet, you’ll need some music on if you share a house. The vibrations range from rumbly and growly to a low buzz so there’s plenty of variety for everyone, but this is a powerful bullet so I would recommend this only to people who can handle some strength in their vibrators!

Being waterproof and smooth with no ridges, it’s super easy to clean with a spritz of toy cleaner and a wipe. It’s great for travelling as it’s small, and so is the case it comes in.

I love the Desire range and this is a worthwhile addition. If you’ve yet to try a Desire toy, I’d highly recommend them and this is one of the cheaper products so a great place to start!

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: Variety of patterns and speeds, last pattern memory function, quality silicone, storage case.

Cons: Very powerful so I can only use the more gentle settings.

Bottom Line: Versatile, powerful and luxury bullet, at a great price!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @DJW, 30 Jul 2017
Tease by Lovehoney Riding Crop

A good beginner or intermediate spanking toy

We wanted to experiment with some mild spanking but without too much pain, so we chose to purchase this crop based on some Lovehoney advice that described crops as being capable of delivering a moderate level of a pain that can be slightly greater than the amount delivered by a flexible paddle, but far less than the amount delivered by a cane (ouch!).

Compared to some other crops available on Lovehoney this is one of the shorter ones. This is one of the reasons why we liked it, as we found this made it less intimidating than some of the longer ones. The main reason we like this toy, though, is because of its dual-sided tip. The softer, red side is made from a silky material and is perfect for stroking and teasing. When using this side for spanking it is difficult to actually cause any pain, so it is a great way to explore the physiological side of spanking without any fear of hurting your partner. The faux leather side by contrast, however, both makes more noise and can cause pain. If used with adequate force on the same spot two or three times, for example, the faux leather side will leave a red mark and a tingle of pain that can last for a minute or two.

Before trying any form of spanking for the first time, you should research how and where to safely spank your partner. Lovehoney has a good tutorial on this. Having followed this advice, we’ve enjoyed using this toy and have avoided inflicting any injuries. When using this toy for the first time we recommend you avoid doing so during a role play session, so as to avoid any confusion when communicating discomfort but if, or when, you do decide to use it during role play, be sure to agree on a stop signal, such as by way of saying a safe word. Again, Lovehoney has some great advice on this.

One thing we found slightly odd with this toy is that the strap doesn’t sit on the wrist quite in the way we expected it would. The reason for this is because the strap seems to be as short as it could possibly be. Instead of being loose enough to sit around the wrist itself, the strap follows the length of your thumb, goes around the base of your palm and around the back of your hand towards your knuckles. The size of our hands and wrists are fairly average, so our expectation probably demonstrates our inexperience with such toys. We assume it is designed this way to be safe, but we do find that the strap becomes slightly fiddly if you want to put down and pick up the crop in relatively quick succession.

In summary, this is a good beginner or intermediate toy. It is great for beginners who want to experiment with a spanking toy without fear of causing pain, with the added advantage that you can step it up and use the faux leather side as your confidence grows. It is also good for intermediates who have some experience with spanking toys already but specifically want to add a crop to their toy collection. Advanced spankers or spankees may prefer something that looks a little more intimidating.

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: Dual-sided tip.

Cons: Strap is a bit fiddly.

Bottom Line: A good beginner or intermediate spanking toy.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @furcoatandnoknickers,
Mystery Sex Toy Bundle Female Couple

Great value starter kit

When the package arrived it was exciting to open up the mystery box together, but initially, we were disappointed as we already owned the highest value item in this set and an accompanying item to it.
However we love them and decided due to the value of the box we would keep it and have the convenience of one of these at each of our houses.

After playing around with some of the other items we were very glad to have kept it. They have been well chosen to give you a taster of some different categories as well as to have some of them work well used together. They also avoided anything too realistically phallic which I think many of us wouldn’t have wanted.

Overall the set is a great value and it was fun to play around with some things we wouldn’t have considered or paid money for on their own and find we liked them all apart from one item.

I think this is a great buy if you don’t own many items and if you live separately and can basically divvy up who hasn’t got what. Otherwise, you’re likely to get a lot of things similar to what you already have.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Fantastic value, good variety, trying surprise items was a fun and bonding experience

Cons: You’d expect most couples to already own at least a few of the things

Bottom Line: Great value but for newbies

[Ian_Chimp]

by @OUCH_Thank_you, 27 Jul 2017
Fun Factory Amorino USB Rechargeable Mini Rabbit Vibrator

The Amorino is not mi amor

I’m not ashamed to confess that, when the Fun Factory Amorino Mini Vibrator arrived for testing, I did a little jig. Not because Fun Factory is my all-time fave toy brand, but because it’s the first product of theirs to make me think, what the hell’s this about, then? Thanks for giving me a chance to find out, Leanne!

Inside of Fun Factory’s modern, innocuous packaging sits a golden cardboard box. In that box lies the Amorino, a USB charger, a silicone band, and instructions.

I’m not a fan of magnetic chargers. They’re bothersome, but more and more places are using them. Luckily, Fun Factory’s rechargeable products have decently strong connectors, so charging them isn’t too much of a pain. It takes up to 8 hours to charge from flat, but you get ages of play before it needs doing again. If you don’t use them their batteries can sit on standby for up to 3 months before they need charging again.

The Amorino is fashioned from matte silicone with an ABS plastic handle. Fun Factory silicone is very draggy with a fine texture to it. It eats up lube like crazy, so have plenty on standby before you get down to business. The colour of my Amorino is petrol – which I love – but Lovehoney also stock it in bright pink.

The Amorino is a mini vibrator. It measures up at just 6.75 inches, three of those inches insertable, and the shaft has a maximum girth of 4 inches. Its little clit arm pokes just one inch from the base of the shaft.

My favourite thing about its appearance is the little arrow-pierced heart stamped into one side of the shaft and clit arm. Yes, it collects fluids and needs a bit of extra care during cleaning, but I can forgive it cos it’s so cute. The Amorino is waterproof anyway, so it’s easily cleaned in a sink of water or with toy cleaners.

The feature that sets this vibe apart from other mini rabbit vibrators is a simple silicone band. This was the part that intrigued me. I wanted to know if it was an inspired bit of design or a dud.

Fun Factory vibrations are always good, and the Amorino doesn’t let the side down. The three button controls are simple to use, but try to remember there’s a travel lock. I’m forever forgetting travel locks are a thing and I end up wailing that my vibes are all broken.

You get six constant speeds with the Amorino, and six patterns. The vibes it puts out are lovely. They’re buzzier than Fun Factory’s G5 line, but there’s still a nice rumble to them. There’s no tickling or itching, just decent, powerful rumbles. I can reach a clitoral orgasm by using the tip of the shaft in minutes.

As a standard dual stim vibrator (no silicone band) it’s not as good. Though I know the vibes are the kind I like, it’s just too small. I can either have clitoral stimulation from it, or vaginal, but not both.

Anally (again, no silicone band) I get some nice feelings from the Amorino. The vibes are great, the angle of the shaft pressing on my front wall is great. The external arm rumbling away at my perineum or vaginal opening is delightful. My OH loves it too, especially the way it stimulates his prostate.

Now for this silicone band. There are two ways to use it: wrap around the shaft and clit arm as it is or cross it over at the middle to make a figure 8.

The idea behind the Amorino’s band is to stimulate as much of the clitoris (which is a wishbone shape that lies beneath the labia and mons, with the glans clitoris being the part you see) as is externally possible. The vibes travel along the band, the Amorino’s two motors working in tandem to make it vibrate and ensure that the vibes are felt throughout the entire vulva.

On paper, this is a stellar idea. In practice, it doesn’t work for me. I don’t know how a body with less abundant labia would fare, but I do know that my labia smother it. I do get a sensation of something being there, but physical pressure stalls the vibes, making the band feel pointless. What’s more, the tightness of it makes for a somewhat uncomfortable stretch, and the whole piece seems even more reluctant to reach for my hotspots.

I don’t know if my troubles are purely because I have labia that interfere with the Amorino’s band. Someone with a smaller body might find that everything lines up perfectly for them, and if they have slender labia they might find that they don’t deaden the band’s vibrations.

I guess the Amorino is one of those toys that you have to try to find out if it’s right for you. You can’t really guess whether it’ll work just by looking at it or comparing it to another Fun Factory vibe. My quest for the perfect rabbit is going to continue, cos this one just isn’t it.

Overall Rating: 7 out of 10 stars

Pros: Fabulous vibes, excellent quality, stunning petrol colour.

Cons: Not a great fit for me, the band vibes were killed by my large labia.

Bottom Line: Possibly one for those with smaller labia, and those who like compact rabbits.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Flidais, 19 Aug 2017
Lovehoney Main Squeeze Single Kegel Ball 30g

Great for Absolute Beginners or After Pregnancy

I am not a stranger to Kegel balls. I got my first one in my early twenties, a double-ball Fun Factory one. Thirteen years and two vaginal births later, my Fun Factory one wasn’t helpful anymore because it was too much of a challenge to keep it in for long periods of time and I don’t have time to do targeted practice. I just want to pop them in and go about my day without worrying they will fall out.

Before I had kids I could wear them all day. After two kids I was having problems with dribbling urine when I coughed, laughed too much or did cardio. The stress incontinence was negatively affecting my life. I had trouble losing the pregnancy weight because it was hard to do cardio without wetting myself or running to the toilet every few minutes. I certainly didn’t want to go to a gym because I was afraid of people noticing that I smelled like urine. I knew I could get things back to normal with this sort of thing, but my old device which is about 75g was too much for my current state, so I got this little guy.

Immediately I was able to wear it without it falling out, which was great for my confidence. Benefits from wearing it came quickly. I was able to wear it for longer and longer periods of time and in just a couple days I noticed an improvement in the stress incontinence. I could actually feel my muscles again as I clamped on to this, other toys or my husband’s cock. As I got stronger I started trying out the 60g balls too. As I got stronger I used the 60g ones more and more, but if I was having a day when the 60g ones were too much, then I would go back down to the 30g ones.

The product arrived quickly and discreetly, like always with Lovehoney. The smooth, seamless design of this product is great and I love the vibrant purple colour. I love that you can get such a lightweight Kegel ball for those that are having issues, although I think most people would probably be able to start with the 60g one. (You could always buy this 30g one later if you find the 60g too much from the start.)

However, if you have had kids and feel like things aren’t as tight or if you are dribbling urine, then this device is an ideal start to regain pelvic strength. You will of course then need to move up to the 60g version, then the 90g, etc. The loop helps with easy retrieval and the seamless connection makes it very comfortable to wear for long periods of time.

I am so happy to find the right weight Kegel ball which allowed me to get back to pelvic training, cure my stress incontinence and regain tightness in my vagina after two vaginal births. This has been a huge boost to my confidence, and since I can move up to heavier Kegel balls, I know I can keep improving. Of all the sex toys I have ever bought (and I have had quite a few) this one has had the biggest positive impact on my life. It has allowed me to get over a very distressing condition and it has allowed me to get back to pelvic training, something I have long been a proponent of.

Being only 30g, this kegel ball is perfect for absolute beginners, after pregnancy and for those with stress incontinence. If you are young, healthy and never had children, I would recommend skipping this one and starting with the 60g one. Be prepared to buy the heavier ones as you get stronger, because you won’t want to stop here.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Comfortable and a good weight for absolute beginners.

Cons: Nothing.

Bottom Line: A great place to start if you have lost tone or have urinary dribbling.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Lovebirds_x, 06 Aug 2017
Lovehoney Barely There Purple Sheer Crotchless Suspender Knickers

Bright, bold, beautiful

In my experience, Lovehoney lingerie has always been fantastic quality for the price and these are no exception; the build quality is excellent as always. It’s easy to assume that these pants would be flimsy and delicate because they are so sheer but the materials are actually very substantial and thus very durable. It’s so refreshing to have sheer lingerie that doesn’t tear at the sight of a fingernail, honestly the durability was what impressed me most about these. They may look like they’re barely there but they’re tough enough to wear with confidence.

I love colourful lingerie and the gorgeously bright purple shade really drew me to these, so I was a tad put out when they arrived and the purple appeared much darker than in the pictures. It’s not like Lovehoney to be so misleading in the product photos, I thought. Do not despair for I was but a fool, once you actually put them on bam- there’s your super sheer, super vibrant purple. The colour really pops and looks fantastic against my porcelain complexion and they look even more sheer in person than in the product photos, with the solid black contrast straps adding even more impact. My bottom was positively glowing!

The attention to detail with these pants is outstanding, there are plenty of well thought out touches that make these feel like a premium item. There is discreet ruching on the backside that makes my bum look like a pert little peach, a fantastic confidence booster in my flat-assed opinion. The crotch opening is sewn in such a way that it sits comfortably closed until you spread it, meaning you don’t feel like you’re wearing crotchless at all (because who needs cold labia, right?), and is also set in such a way that you cannot see it from the front or back. It’s quite a modest crotch opening and very easy to keep secret until you want your partner to know it’s there. Then of course there’s the finishing touch of the golden Lovehoney charm nestled against a lovely satin bow, I seriously love these charms and bows are always welcome in my wardrobe. Perfect!

The suspender straps are a great length, I’m 5’6’’ with relatively long legs and had no trouble adjusting these to fit both my longer and shorter stockings. They hold my stockings up without sliding down and the clips are both strong and smooth. I love that they made the ribbons on the end purple, they look so pretty over black stockings.

Size wise I’d say these are true to size, I got size medium as I wear a size 12 on the bottom and found they were a perfect fit. They feel a little more snug than other knickers I’ve bought from Lovehoney, which I’m thinking they have to be to hold your stockings up without rolling or sliding down your hips, but they don’t look or feel too tight and they certainly don’t create any muffin top (my number one confidence killer).

Between the fit, the colour and the gorgeous details I felt really confident in these, I’m so glad they’re crotchless as there was no way I was taking these off for the main event. They’re far too pretty to be wasted on the floor!

Overall, I can’t praise these enough and definitely recommend them. They’re beautiful both in colour and design, they’re both practical and comfortable, they do their job in holding up stockings, they’re super sexy and I feel great in them. They’re a real statement piece but not so bold as to be difficult to wear or difficult to pair with other items you own. What more could you ask of a pair of suspender knickers?

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Gorgeous colour, beautiful details, very flattering design, comfortable, perfect fit, durable.

Cons: Nothing!

Bottom Line: A must-have, these certainly get a reaction!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @DJW, 19 Aug 2017
Fun Factory ShareVibe USB Rechargeable Pink Vibrating Double Strap On

Great toy, highly recommended

This is one of our more expensive toys. The first thing you will notice is that the quality of the packaging is superb. Unlike many cheaper toys, you could present this as a gift to your partner without feeling the need to remove the packaging beforehand. That being said, the sleeve of the packaging is removable, so you could present it without the sleeve if you’d prefer to conceal the surprise for that little bit longer. With the sleeve removed, the box just has a small manufacturer’s logo on top. If you think the logo could give the game away, you could cover it with small sticky bow or something similar.

You will be glad to know that the high quality extends to the toy itself. Its colour is a lovely, vibrant shade of hot pink, which is just as bright as shown in the pictures, if not brighter. The toy also has an incredible, silky-smooth texture and offers the perfect balance of firmness and flexibility, which causes the main shaft to have a springy bounce. It can be positioned with ease, yet feels firm upon insertion allowing for both ends to hit all the right spots!

The toy has almost no smell. There is a very faint hint of silicone odour when you hold it close to your nose, but the smell is not at all unpleasant.

This toy is designed to be worn by a female, but it can be used with a female or male partner. The measurements given in the product description are correct. However, the 4.5 inches (11.5 cm) circumference measurement refers to the main shaft. If you intend to use this toy for anal sex, note that this is slightly larger than a typical anal dildo, which will usually have a circumference that is closer to 3.5 inches (9 cm), hence this may not be suitable for beginners. The wearer’s end (shorter shaft) varies in diameter and is actually 5 inches (13 cm) in circumference at the widest point.

The vibrations are created by a bullet vibrator. It is no louder than many similar toys, but it isn’t the quietest either. The vibrations are not too intense, but plenty strong enough to be felt and enjoyed by both partners. It may not be completely apparent from the pictures, but the clitoral stimulator has a slight protrusion running from top to bottom. This is where the vibrations are the most intense and the protrusion helps to further increase stimulation for the wearer.

The bullet vibrator can be removed and used as a toy in its own right. When used like this the vibrations are, of course, more intense, but removing the bullet vibrator from the silicone toy can be difficult so, if you’d like to use it as a bullet vibrator, you may wish to consider removing it ahead of time.

The toy is quite heavy, weighing in at 425 grams (just under 1lb) which you may not expect for a strapless toy. The weight does not seem to cause any issues when in use, even during more vigorous play. However, when not in use, it can be a challenge for the wearer to maintain grip without supporting it with their hand. As such, the wearer may not find that it is possible to kneel, stand or walk around ‘hands free’. If you’d like to be able to do that, a strap-on with a harness may be preferable. Lovehoney sell both standard and shareable strap ons with harnesses.

The maximum charge time of this toy is quoted as 4 hours and it holds enough charge for several sessions. It is chargeable from USB, but it does not come with a USB wall plug. Many mobile phones, tablets and similar devices come with USB wall plug these days, but you may wish to purchase one. Alternatively, you can charge it using the USB port on your computer.

In summary, this is a great toy. It is pricier than some alternatives and also a little weighty, but the quality is really high and it feels fantastic too. If you choose to purchase this toy, you will not be disappointed!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Quality, colour and texture.

Cons: It is a little heavy.

Bottom Line: Great toy. Highly recommended.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Wight_goddess, 03 Aug 2017
Bondage Boutique Black Rose Pleasure Spanking Paddle

A gentle persuader with bite

This paddle has been in our toybox a while now and often gets passed over for the ease and simplicity of my husband’s hand, but on days when he likes to spice things up it brings a welcome change.

As always with Bondage Boutique, packaging is minimal, just a clear plastic sleeve and a cardboard tag held on with a short plug chain. I love this about the range as you don’t have mountains of card and plastic to try and hide discreetly in the recycling bin!

Once liberated from its plastic cover, you are holding a slim, but comfortable, semi-padded handle which is half the overall length of the paddle. A simple knotted cord wrist strap is tied to the end to avoid over-enthusiastic flinging across the room.

The entire paddle is padded on one side with the soft Bondage Boutique Black Rose glossy fabric covering it. The reverse is a harder surface made from black leather. Both sides are neatly stitched for durability.

When in use, the leather side offers a stinging slap with an audible crack on impact, leaving a warm glowing feeling across your buttocks. A gentle stroke with the soft(er) rose-print side lulls you back into a relaxed state before the next round. Any skin reddening I’ve experienced from this paddle has lasted long enough for effect but it’s not likely to still be there next morning.

Overall, this firm paddle is a winner and one that I keep moving back to the front of the box for future playtimes.

Overall Ratings: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Solid and durable.

Cons: Not the easiest to clean.

Bottom Line: A staple of any bondage toybox.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @myrkari, 23 Sep 2017
Mantric USB Rechargeable Wand Vibrator

Stylish and Powerful

At first glance, the Mantric wand looks like a gaming peripheral, to me at least! It’s sleek, stylised and matte black, with a light-up colour changing LED panel on the side. It wouldn’t look out of place next to my mouse, keyboard and headset! I really like the aesthetic, it looks modern and functional and not at all “cheesy” or slightly embarrassing like some sex toys, unfortunately, can - there’s not an ounce of purple jelly or any rabbit ears anywhere to be found on this toy and I love it! I personally could’ve done without the colour-changing light panel, but it’s not a downside - it’s certainly different and visually interesting, which can only be a good thing, I just don’t feel like I needed it to be there.

Clocking in at about half the size of a regular mains-powered Magic Wand style toy, this wand nevertheless packs a real punch that belies its unassuming exterior! It has a flexible neck so you can press and probe to your own liking and make it work with your own body shape. The lowest setting is my favourite as it’s extremely rumbly and provides deep sensations while being plenty stimulating enough for me, but it does have five speeds for those who like things a bit faster, louder and buzzier! For my personal tastes, I find the highest setting just too much to enjoy - I started to get numb after a short while. There are also pulses and patterns to mix things up and keep it interesting.

It’s got some weight to it thanks to the powerful motor, but it isn’t uncomfortably heavy to hold and the handle is nice and thin so you can easily use it one-handed for extended periods. Even on its highest setting, it isn’t annoyingly loud, but it isn’t quite enough to preserve your privacy if anyone else is around.

The wand is plenty strong enough to deliver vibrations through a toy, so as well as using it for external stimulation, I found that pressing it up against the base of an inserted toy gave a lovely internal buzz as well.

There’s plenty of playtime to be had from a single charge, and you don’t need to worry about batteries - recharging is as simple as plugging in the provided cable through the silicone and into the base of the toy; it’ll slot into any USB port and happily charge away for next time. The light panel pulses to show you it’s charging and when it’s done, which is handy. Note that the toy won’t turn on while being charged, so you can’t “plug and play” per se! As it is rechargeable and quite a compact size, I can see this being a perfect travel companion for people who want to take a wand-style toy out and about or on vacation without the hassle of an attached mains plug and cable.

The only downside, if I’m being super picky, is that the material attracts dust, fluff, et cetera extremely easily so that beautiful sleek matte exterior is immediately spoiled by dog hairs and crumbs at my house if I leave it out of the drawer for more than five minutes. But that’s not the fault of the toy - I should probably just vacuum more!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Appearance, power.

Cons: N/A.

Bottom Line: A visually appealing, compact, powerful, portable wand.