Review Hall of Fame

Ian_Chimp · March 23, 2021, 2:00pm

by @HM, 13 Jan 2019
Lovehoney Plus Size Silver Push-Up Basque Set

I have been seduced

My lady already has a bra, push-up dress and three basques from the Seduce Me range and loves them all. The fit of each item is perfect, so as soon as we saw this grey basque she had to order it. She is a size 18 with 38GG bust, so we ordered a 3X/4X size, which holds her boobs beautifully, pushing them up to give a sensational cleavage!

The boning in the body of the basque smooths her lumps and bumps perfectly, creating a gorgeous figure. The lace fabric overlaying the pale grey satin provides a beautiful effect, set off even further by the little bows. Surprisingly the lace frill at the bottom is a couple of inches shorter than, say, the purple Seduce Me basque.

The thong looks very pretty, repeating the design on the body of the basque with a layer of black lace over grey satin. My lady tells me it feels very comfortable to wear indoors, but the boning tends to dig in when wearing under outer clothes sitting in the pub.

In summary, a gorgeous, sexy, flattering item of lingerie that feels awesome to wear.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: The fit, the fabric, its well made, it looks wonderful.

Cons: Would have preferred a longer lace frill.

Bottom Line: Stunning. The score on this one goes up to 11!

Ian_Chimp · March 23, 2021, 2:00pm

by @maximum_turnip, 05 Jan 2019
Desire Luxury Rechargeable Remote Control Prostate Massager

Well worth the money

If like me you have tried butt plugs or a cheaper prostate massager and always wondered whether the more expensive toys felt better, then the answer is a resounding yes! As soon as I opened the box I could tell this was a high quality toy and after using it for the first time it is very apparent how much of a step up it is from the cheaper vibrating bullet toys.

I was actually quite shocked when I turned it on while in place and the toy was set to the highest setting and had to quickly turn the power level down a few notches! If you are looking for something more powerful, then this toy is definitely worth a look. I think the fact the vibration motor is inside the tip of the toy helps as the vibration isn’t stifled by your anus clamping onto it, like it does with a bullet vibrator toy. The vibrations are also deep and rumbly, rather than high pitched, buzzy vibrations. It feels amazing and there are loads of settings and power levels to play about with the hit your sweet spot.

There is also a second vibrator that will stimulate the area between your balls and anus. This is such an amazing feature and adds a whole new level of stimulation. Both motors have independent vibration modes as well as being able to turn off either motor if you just want to stimulate the P-spot or gooch. A slight criticism would be that the vibrating tip could have been made slightly wider as it does tend to sit either side of the perineum, rather than on top of it, unless you hold it in place. This doesn’t reduce the stimulation, so it’s not too much of an issue.

The toy itself looks and feels very high quality. The silicone is lovely and smooth with a velvety feel and appearance. The surface holds the lube well and changes to a wet look as you apply the water based lube, which then makes the surface super slick. The main body of the toy is quite big, but the tip is smaller at the very end, which makes insertion nice and easy. I’d say a beginner would manage to insert it if taken slowly with a lot of lube, but it would be better suited to someone that wants a step up from smaller toys.

Once in it gives an amazing full feeling, and with the body being quite large I found it held in place very well, almost like a butt plug. It’s comfortable to wear and could be worn out and about as there is no bullet vibrator sticking out of the bottom. It also means you can sit with the toy in place or grind on a cushion to increase the stimulation. I absolutely love it and am so glad I took the plunge and went for a more high end toy.

You also get some other great features for the extra money that make the toy well worth the investment in my opinion. There is a built in battery that you charge via a USB cable, which is much better then messing about with button cells or AAA batteries. The toy is fully waterproof, which makes cleanup a doddle and they even include a good quality, zip up case that stores it away neatly.

Battery life seems decent and easily lasts for a few play sessions. It does take a while to charge and needs fully charging before use, which is the only downside of a built in battery. Once charged though it’s easy to plug it into a USB slot to keep the battery topped up for the next time.

Overall I was very impressed with the toy and glad I took the plunge and went for a higher end prostate massager. The toy feels very high quality and is well presented with some awesome features. It’s definitely become my favourite butt toy and I can’t see myself using anything else when I’m in the mood for some anal play. Highly recommended.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Strong, deep vibration, built in battery, look great and feels even better.

Cons: The ‘gooch’ vibrator could have been a little wider.

Bottom Line: Amazing toy that is well worth the money.

Ian_Chimp · March 23, 2021, 2:00pm

by @Spoonerism, 04 Feb 2019
Desire Luxury Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator

Could not be without

Bullet vibrators are an extremely important part of my sex life, mostly owing to their compact and unobtrusive nature. I would estimate a solid 90% of the time I have partnered sex, there is a small vibe involved somewhere - be it foreplay or penetrative intercourse.

Over the years, the infamous We-Vibe Tango became my weapon of choice but, after numerous repurchases of this very powerful but equally unreliable toy (I have probably owned 10+ and the battery life has been so shocking I’ve needed a spare one to have on standby) I decided enough is enough and to look at other options.

The Desire range had been on my radar for a while and all the toys appear luxurious and from the reviews, excellent value for their price range (I like my fancy toys, haha).

I had reservations about purchasing this bullet, but that was mostly due to the We-Vibe brand loyalty I was trying to shake. However, Lovehoney regularly have excellent deals on their own brand products and on Black Friday I decided to take the plunge and buy the Desire bullet. Actually, I snagged two as the price was so good!

The packaging for the Desire range is great - super sleek and attractive, I would not be ashamed if the bin man spotted it in my recycling, haha. The bullet comes with a cute little leather look zipped storage pouch that also houses the charger.

Magnetic chargers are often the bane of my existence, but this one is great and only comes detached if obviously knocked (for those looking for the comparison - it is so much more reliable than the awful Tango charger).

The Desire bullet is slightly larger than I expected, wider than a standard bullet which means it doesn’t stand a chance of fitting in regular bullet slots in other toys. This doesn’t bother me too much but it’s something to bear in mind.

I love the silicone coating - it feels much less abrasive than the Tango’s hard plastic outer which I find can sometimes be painful on high settings. It is operated by a single button which is not an issue for me.

Now, the clincher - is it powerful enough?

I’m not a power queen per se, but I had gotten used to using my Tango on the highest constant setting by default, so I was concerned nothing else was ever gonna “do it.”

I am pleased to say that my clit gives the Desire bullet 5 stars… and then some!

While it lacks the rumbles that are so distinctive of the Tango, it is certainly very powerful. I will confess that it is quite buzzy and the highest constant setting may be numbing to some people, I often don’t need to go past the second speed. Says it all there, really?

Two odd but positive things I will say: I really like that this bullet starts off at its lowest speed - so many of the alternatives I looked at for some reason start at their highest setting which I think is dumb for a toy with a single button interface. Also - it DOESN’T have a memory function that starts on the setting you left it. Both are pet hates which by lacking just makes this vibrator even more perfect for me.

Overall, I am absolutely delighted with this purchase, the Desire bullet is a firm favourite and I wouldn’t like to be without it!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Looks good, super powerful.

Cons: Bit buzzy and numbing on highest setting - not that I need it!

Bottom Line: Pretty much perfect for me, well done Lovehoney!

Ian_Chimp · March 23, 2021, 2:00pm

by @VR, 06 Feb 2019
Je Joue Mimi Luxury Rechargeable Clitoral Vibrator

Strong but sensual

MiMi has been on my wishlist for quite some time, but having had some money for Christmas I decided it was time to treat myself.

And what a lovely treat!

The usual plain Lovehoney box arrived quickly. It was taken upstairs and opened to reveal the gorgeous box that MiMi was nestled in. I pulled it out and started to charge it. Charging is very easy - plug the USB wire into a standard charging plug, attach the magnetic connection to the MiMi and leave it until the flashing light stays on.

I washed it before use (easy as it’s completely waterproof) and settled down for a play. The silicone is beautiful. Soft and smooth, though the toy itself is solid. The three buttons controlling it are on, off and patterns. Some have found them a little tricky to use but I haven’t had a problem with them.

Turning it on I was very pleasantly surprised at how deep and thuddy the vibrations are. I have built up quite a few toys in my box but can honestly say I’ve never felt anything like this. The vibrations on a lower level penetrate deeper than anything else I have. They stay like this almost to the most intense setting, of which there are five. There are seven patterns but I’m not a pattern lover, preferring the solid thud of the vibrations.

I usually prefer bullets with their more pinpoint feature but MiMi worked just as well as my favourite bullets, though using it is such a sensual experience I played with it over my body for a lot longer than I do with my bullets. I can’t believe that something so intense can purr over my skin like MiMi does.

MiMi is quiet in use but if you drop it on the bed the vibrations are so deep and intense, it does become louder. On skin, though, it remains quite quiet.

The battery life is quite incredible. I’ve used it for at least 20 minutes a time over several nights before it needed charging. I didn’t time it, but I am aware it’s lasted longer than most of my toys. It doesn’t heat up after using it for a fairly prolonged session which I find reassuring.

For me, this is a truly sensual pleasure toy. The silicone, the deep vibrations, the way it fits in my hand… it all goes together to give me a deeper experience that I normally give myself with toys. Even using it alone I can close my eyes and imagine my partner using it on me. It’s almost hypnotic.

However, it’s also functioned as a practical item for me as I suffer with hip pain. Instead of dragging my Doxy out for a massage, I’ve slipped MiMi between my bed and my hip and let it run. It’s strong and deep enough to help ease the pain in my hip - no mains wand or partner to hold it required!

I’d recommend it for people who like a slow sensual experience rather than a quick release.

A true test for me is if I’d replace it if something happened to it and I would. In a deep, thuddy heartbeat.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: The depth and feeling of the vibrations. The feel of the silicone.

Cons: A slightly more pointed tip.

Bottom line: Stronger and more sensual than an average vibe.

Ian_Chimp · March 23, 2021, 2:00pm

by @Foxiiuk, 08 Feb 2019
Lovehoney Hot Date Remote Control Couple’s Sex Toy Kit (5 Piece)

Hottest date ever!

As a married couple with young kids, our date nights tend to be infrequent and predictable - dinner, drinks, (too much of both) home and sleep, so when we got this we had high hopes!

Love that everything in this set is controlled by a small remote, discreet and small enough to palm, three buttons(±and power) which glow red when pressed.

I was eager and tried the bullet on my own - wow. For a bullet, it packs a buzzy punch! The G-spot vibe is slim, with a larger bulb which encompasses its target amazingly. Super soft material, and easy to use - just press the button on the base and feel the rumble! Used together I was in heaven.

Next, we tried the cock ring. It has soft rabbit ears which really transfers to the clit without chaffing or rubbing (not what you want on a sensitive area). I loved having full control of the vibes, and it kept my husband on his toes! We did find it was a tighter fit than we’ve experienced before with cock rings, did take some wrangling and slot of lube!

The egg is quite a rounded shape that opens for the batteries half way down, which I was a little cautious of. The string is plastic and a little hard, I wore it out on our date (handing the remote to Mr Fox) and found it a little uncomfortable, I had to readjust a few times. To begin with, I couldn’t get it to work, it has to be screwed together very firmly - which was a relief!

Once in, it was rounder and firmer than other eggs I have which at first was uncomfortable. Once the buzzing started though I loved it! I was paranoid that other people would hear it, but over the general noise of a pub, Mr Fox said he couldn’t hear a thing. The remote controls worked over a distance of a few feet, which was more than enough!

The button plug is hollow, so the bullet can be inserted and therefore remotely controlled. It’s soft yet firm, tapered to a fairly wide base with a flared bottom - very reassuring! Perfect size for me, I’m a beginner at anal but found this really comfortable to use, and the vibrations were rumbly and relaxing rather than distracting!

Our date night ended with an early night-light not much sleep!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Everything can be controlled by the person holding the remote.

Cons: The cord on the love egg was a little hard.

Bottom Line: Fabulous, so many combinations to play with for both partners.

Ian_Chimp · March 23, 2021, 2:00pm

by @Cinderella69, 19 Feb 2019
BASICS Anal Douche

Flush away the nerves

My partner and I have dabbled in anal play over the years, but it’s only recently that we both decided we’d like it to become a regular part of our bedroom fun! I’ve never been able to truly let go and enjoy myself during anal play in the past for the fear of things getting messy. A code brown is anything but sexy. So a douche was a must for me, now that we want to start exploring more!

I chose this douche simply because it had the most reviews and a 4.5 star rating! I really needed to be confident with this item, and I wasn’t disappointed. After reading the guide on the Lovehoney website I took myself to the bathroom and got to it. The technique I found easiest was to fill the sink with warm water, squeeze the douche under the water, release and let it fill itself. There was a little gap so I topped it up with fresh water from the tap to avoid any air ending up where it’s definitely not wanted!

Thanks to the slim nozzle it was very easy to insert with a little lube, however. I couldn’t seem to do it over the toilet as recommended, so found myself in a recovery like position on the bathroom floor. The things we do eh?!

I only have small hands, and in the strange position I’d found myself in it was a little difficult to expel much more than half of the water, but worry not my small-handed friends. This didn’t have a negative affect on how well it worked!

When removing the nozzle between uses it feels a bit like you might snap it, but you won’t. It does eventually just pop out nicely. After five or six goes the water was clear and the job was done. I waited around two hours before going to bed and having some fun. I am very happy to say that thanks to this little bit of kit my partner and I both really enjoyed a fun night of anal play, and no doubt will enjoy many more to come!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: The ease of use and reassurance it gave me.

Cons: Nothing.

Bottom Line: An essential tool to keep play clean and worry free!

Ian_Chimp · March 23, 2021, 2:00pm

by @jengles, 17 Mar 2019
Womanizer Duo Rechargeable G-Spot and Clitoral Stimulator

Absolutely Amazing

I was fortunate enough to be sent this amazing vibe to review, so firstly a massive thank you to Leanne and Lovehoney.

I don’t normally rave about the packaging but I was immediately impressed, it came beautifully encased in a grey and black box, with detail of what lay within, and a clear window showing off the beautifully stylish Womanizer lying within it. The box itself has a drawer which slides out to reveal it’s contents, the Womanizer vibe itself, a little box containing another stimulation suction head, slightly larger than the head that comes attached to the Womanizer vibe, instruction booklet, a charging cable and a lovely black satin storage bag complete with a mini whip and charms, so beautiful and tasteful, I don’t think anyone could fail to be impressed with the quality.

I eagerly placed my Womanizer on to charge, It took around two hours to charge the first time, you can tell it’s charging if you look inside the stimulation head you’ll see a white light flashing, this stops flashing when it’s fully charged. I’ve completely flattened the battery a few times and it seems to take around two hours to charge each time.

It also has a standby mode, which means when the battery is getting low it will automatically switch off after five minutes of disuse, or in normal use, it switches off after ten minutes of disuse.

This amazing vibe has Smart Silence, which is brilliant, as it doesn’t start working until it’s in position inside you. It helps save the battery and so much easier than switching off if you want to put it to one side for a few minutes while you concentrate on your partner.

The Womanizer has ten vibration patterns and twelve intensity levels, I’m a power queen and I have got to say that this vibe is pretty powerful, my G-spot loved the patterns and a couple of them are powerful enough to satisfy me, I also found the suction cup to be great for power, I didn’t need to ramp everything up onto the highest setting, this leaves my G-spot purring to itself even on a lower setting.

It’s easily controlled, there’s a little on-off button on the bottom of the vibrator, a gentle push and it’s on in Smart silence mode, you can change the settings so that it’s constantly on if you wish, but the silent mode is brilliant.

On the front there are two buttons to control the clitoral stimulation and the vibrator, you have to press each button separately to increase and decrease the vibrations, they have little symbols on each button to indicate which one controls the suction and which controls the vibe. just below them is another small button for changing the patterns in the G-spot vibe.

Personally, I found it quite easy to increase and decrease the vibrations and change patterns with the vibrator in position on my clit and inside me. I didn’t find it particularly noisy on the lower to mid settings, slightly noisier on the high settings, but that’s only when I had everything on full power, and I was making more noise myself anyway.

Now for the most important bit, does it work? Yes, Yes, Yes, It’s awesome, it took me a little while to start with, until I got things just right, I was enjoying the wonderful sensations on my G-spot but not quite getting there with the suction, but once I got it right my legs started to tremble and my body started to shake as I had combined orgasms, not one but several, OMG it felt amazing, I’m completely in love with this wonderful vibe.

I find the suction always makes me squirt, I have a Womanizer Classic and that also makes me squirt every time. So if squirting is something that you would like to experience then I would recommend this stunning vibe every time. I find it great to just put in position and hold it there using my thighs, totally hands-free orgasms, amazing.

It’s sleek, not too big but I still found it very satisfying inside me, it’s very elegant with its little gold trim on the end. It’s very easy to clean, the suction head just slips off to be washed and it’s also fully waterproof for fun in the shower or bath.

This has got to be one of the best vibes ever, combined orgasms without having to mess around with separate vibes, brilliant, so easy.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: It’s amazing.

Cons: Nothing to dislike.

Bottom Line: I love how easy it is to have combined orgasms with it.

Ian_Chimp · March 23, 2021, 2:00pm

by @Gosig, 25 Mar 2019
Doxy Number 3 Disco Extra Powerful Travel Massage Wand Vibrator

Goodbye classic mains-powered wand

Until a few days ago, I never even considered that the Classic Mains Wand wouldn’t be powerful enough for me. Indeed, I may have even joked to the husband about how, um, ‘hardened’ to vibrations some folk must be to need any wand labelled ‘extra powerful’. And yet, well, here I am, ready to admit that this little lovely does indeed pack an extra wallop, and it is very, very more-ish indeed.

It may be labelled as ‘travel’, but to be honest given that is still 11 inches I’m not convinced it is going to save you that much space compared to a ‘non-travel’ wand, especially when you take into consideration the mighty 3 metres of lead to contend with as well. Yes, it might be slightly more compact than others, but given the extra power it possesses, I feel it is almost a negative to label it as a travel version, just makes it sound like you are somehow compromising, which really wasn’t the case in my experience of it.

Design-wise, it is perfect for me to hold with my tiny paws, and not so heavy that you will get tired holding it in position. The smaller head was a revelation: those who do not enjoy wands massively often site the lack of pin-point stimulation as a reason. Whilst this style is never going to rival a bullet, the smaller head not only made the vibrations feel more targeted, but was also easier to get into more specific positions, which for me would be slightly to the side of my clit. With my previous wand, the head was so big there was no chance of being able to as carefully position exactly where the vibrations needed to go.

I’m sure the disco effect on the handle will appeal to some (just reminds me of dark granite worktops in DIY showrooms), but what I did appreciate was the light-up buttons, and what big chunky buttons they are! That the icons are deep-set into each button so you can check just by touch which button you are about to press, without having to look, is again another lovely little touch that just makes using this wand idiot-proof (always a blessing for me when all I want to do is have an orgasm).

Ah yes, the orgasm. I think for the first time in my life I had concurrent multiple orgasms, or possibly just one ridiculously long orgasm. To be honest, having used a wand before, I wasn’t expecting anything different, so it caught me slightly on the hop as to what on earth was actually happening. Either way, it was a state of blissfulness which went on for far, far longer than I have ever experienced in the past. Whether it was the increased power, or the smaller, more precise head, I have no idea. Probably both.

My only slight grumble with the wand as a whole is relating to the detachable head. Now, this again is a wonderful idea and great for cleaning (certainly a lot better than my other wand with the silly ridge on the head that collects lube and is difficult to clean), but there is a slight lip between the detachable head and the base it sits on. If the side of the wand is in contact with your body whilst in motion it is noticeable and quite uncomfortable, and I did have to adjust how I was holding the wand for this reason. Yes, it is a minor flaw, but one that made me uncomfortable mid-play, which is never what you want from a toy.

Overall though, this is quite the treat: the power, the small size, the long lead. I now understand why people with Doxys are so attached to them, and I cannot honestly see me ever using the classic wand over this little glittery gem.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Small head, big buttons, slim handle, wonderful power.

Cons: Ridge between head and base is uncomfortable in use.

Bottom Line: ‘Travel’ tag does this mighty wand a disservice.

Ian_Chimp · March 23, 2021, 2:00pm

by @BeeMine, 13 Mar 2019
Lovehoney Deluxe Extra Powerful Mains Powered Magic Wand Vibrator

Incredibly powerful toy

I was interested for some time in getting a large wand as I need powerful vibrations from a bullet and dildo to orgasm. Reviews suggested a wand would do the trick much more quickly. I was delighted to buy it super cheaply in a sale but it is definitely worth full price. The quality is superb: silky seamless silicone head, classy glossy charcoal-grey body and chrome detailing to finish. The cable doesn’t get in the way and is quite long, although I also use an extension cable.

The buttons are large, easy to find without looking and indented to prevent accidental activation. The smooth firm silicone head feels wonderful against your skin and is substantial enough to cover a large area at once. Being mains-powered, this wand has an intense range of power from strong to mind-blowing.

The wand is huge and heavy. A little too heavy for me to be honest as I need to use both hands so I don’t have one free to stimulate other areas of my body. For me personally, the large surface area means I do not orgasm with the wand alone. Don’t get me wrong, the variety of patterns is excellent and on top power they drive me crazy but I also need internal stimulation. I remedied the situation with the ‘Lovehoney Deluxe Wand Silicone G-Spot Head Attachment’ which turns that incredible power into intense pinpoint stimulation. I hold the wand with two hands and alternate between internal and clitoral stimulation until it is almost unbearable and I have a very long, hard, noisy orgasm. It is very different to that produced by my Desire bullet and a dildo but just as satisfying. It is usually followed by a strong squirting orgasm.

If you need a quiet toy this is not for you. It rarely comes out at the moment as we still have a daughter at home and it is loud. Not loud enough to be off-putting but definitely not for use when others are around and discretion is important.

I would recommend storing the wand in the lockable ‘Lovehoney Magic Wand Deluxe Soft Storage Case’ which has dividers to protect the wand head from the plug and plenty of room for attachments, lube and so on. Although not submersible it has no indentations on the head so is easy to clean with a wipe.

Overall Rating: 8 out of 10 stars

Pros: Large head; ultra-powerful; mains-powered; patterns; attachments available; large buttons; easy to clean.

Cons: Heavy and loud.

Bottom Line: If you need power, you need this wand! A luxury wand for a reasonable price.

Ian_Chimp · March 23, 2021, 2:00pm

by @K_c30_s, 19 Mar 2019
Lifelike Lover Luxe Realistic Silicone Dildo 6 Inch

Deep purple delights

After trying this I can’t see why we have avoided realistic dildos!

For over a year we have been adding to an extensive, diverse collection of toys. Willing to try all manner of textures, shapes, sizes and materials. But never a realistic dildo. The reason being we never really saw the point. As a heterosexual couple with (touch wood) a working penis, we saw the realistic dildos as something that didn’t offer anything. It pains me to admit but I was wrong (I still won’t ask for directions though).

I purchased this 6-inch purple delight whilst on offer with a percentage off if you purchased two dildos from the same brand. Thinking that if they didn’t work out at least our toy collection would get a pop of colour.

The dildo comes wrapped in plastic inside the box, so you know it’s fresh, unused and ready to rock. I am a bit cautious though and I do give my toys a little wash before use.

The size of this purple delight is simply brilliant. It’s smaller design doesn’t intimidate. The pop of colour adds an element of whimsy too. The matte, yet soft silicone is a delight to the touch. Being silicone it is firmer than say a jelly dildo but the shaft is still pretty flexible.

In use, it was a great fit. The length was just right and with the help of a good helping of water-based lube, it was gliding in and out. It soon had her withering around the bed in orgasmic bliss. The only complaint here is most likely a personal preference, she would have liked an extra quarter inch or so in girth.

It’s a versatile little sucker with its suction cup base giving you the opportunity to try something new or different. What amazed me is how well the suction cup worked, it really held it’s own.

When done it’s easy to clean up with some warm soapy water. Don’t try toy cleaner and kitchen roll it doesn’t work on its own, there are too many little indented bits that are hard to reach and the kitchen roll breaks up and sticks to the matte surface.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Love the colour, feel, texture and the orgasms it gives.

Cons: A smidge more girth would make it even better.

Bottom Line: It hits all the right spots so easily and it’s beautifully made.

Ian_Chimp · March 23, 2021, 2:00pm

by @CocoDeMerLover, 11 Jun 2019
We-Vibe Vector

Luxury butt fun

As somebody who has experimented with quite a lot of butt toys, it was great to be selected to try out the We-Vibe Vector. Having purchased the Lovense Hush in the past and enjoyed the experience of your pleasure being in the hands of your partner, the thought of swapping from a plug to a prostate massager was an opportunity that was too good to miss.

First impressions are very good, the massager comes in a very well designed packaging that oozes quality. Inside you get the massager, small remote (we didn’t use this we used the phone app), a magnetic charger, a sample of lube and a white satin storage bag (interesting choice of colour!). Plug the cable into a USB plug and then connect the magnetic charger and you just need to wait for the massager to charge. 90 mins takes you from a flat battery to full.

The massager itself is on the small side so it is easy to insert and very comfortable when inside… and then the fun begins! It is very easy to pair with the phone via Bluetooth and then add your playmate who can also control the massager from their phone as long as you both have a data connection or WiFi.

The app itself allows you to control the 2 different motors independently, one controls the ‘head’ which touches your prostate and the other which rests behind your balls. The sensations this creates is simply amazing, and the possibilities in the patterns of vibration you can use are only limited by your imagination! The orgasm that this leads too is quite simply unlike anything you will have felt before, whether your partner teases you over a long time to slowly bring you to climax or turns up the power and send you over the edge as quickly as possible!

Would I recommend? Of course! This is a great piece to add to your toy collection. It might seem a bit pricey but you definitely get what you pay for.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Quality adult entertainment.

Cons: Could maybe be a bit larger for experienced butt players.

Bottom Line: Worth investing in!

Ian_Chimp · March 23, 2021, 2:00pm

by @DreamsOfChi, 12 Jun 2019
BASICS Beginner’s Rabbit Vibrator

Basic Bunny

Is there a more iconic sex toy design than the Rabbit? In the late 90s, thanks in no small part to the ‘Sex and the City’ ladies, a generation of women were turned on to the idea of having a bunny in their bedside cabinet. In fact, my first ever sex toy was a rabbit and, as such, this toy evokes a certain feeling of nostalgia. While this model is definitely basic in form, especially when compared to the current raft of fairly technological advanced toys, its classic design means that it still delivers what you want from a vibrator.

The toy arrives in a shocking pink card box. Instructions for use are written on the back, along with other technical specifics and requirements. This is my first battery-powered toy in a while, but getting this bunny buzzing is easy. Just unscrew the bottom, insert 2 AAs and twist the dial to change the intensity of the vibrations. To be honest, I did find the twist-mechanism distinctly more problematic to navigate than the buttons of my other favourite toys. Lubey fingers combined with a little stiffness in the plastic made altering the power less seamless than I would have liked, so much that I had to grip the toy with my other hand to keep it from pulling to one side when I twisted the dial. That said, it wasn’t necessary all the time and I suspect the stiffness might wear off after repeated use.

Aside from this issue, I found the toy great to use. I like the colour (because black goes with everything, obviously!) and the cute smiley face hidden on the head of the toy. I also appreciated the tiny extra nubbin on the rabbit part’s face for extra stimulation. The vibrations are impressive, the top end of the scale is strong - the rabbit ears become a complete blur and the sensations translate well into the rest of the shaft. Unfortunately this end of the scale is also LOUD, almost distractingly so. A grindy, grumbly humm that only thrash metal on the stereo could hope to disguise. As such this may not be the toy for discreet play. The weaker vibrations are nowhere near as loud though. So as long as you don’t require maxed out power, you could get away with this by just playing a bit of soft rock.

The material is soft and squidgy, quite pleasant to touch. I had an urge to bite the head, like a phallic Jelly Baby. It does feel jelly like but isn’t sticky. It’s reasonably light too, even with the batteries, so fine if you wanted to take this toy on your travels.

In terms of orgasm delivery, it has yet to fail me, which is a strong positive. As with all dual stimulation toys, you might need to experiment to find the perfect position, but this vibrator had no issues getting me where I wanted to go. The ears are a good length to give wide stimulation of the clitoral area, and the extra girthy portion towards the bottom of the shaft provides a feeling of fullness.

If you’re strapped for cash but want a bunny, this is a great ‘cheap thrill’. If you’re looking for a quiet toy, have mobility issues in your hands or have a bit more money to spend, I would recommend a more advanced model.

Overall Rating: 6 out of 10 stars

Pros: The colour, design and strength of vibrations.

Cons: It’s very noisy and the controls are a bit stiff.

Bottom Line: Great entry level purchase if you don’t mind the noise and have strong fingers.

Ian_Chimp · March 23, 2021, 2:00pm

by @Rockstar, 02 Jun 2019
Amour Rechargable Remote Control Love Egg Vibrator

Just what we had hoped for

I had been thinking about getting a remote controlled vibrating egg for my wife for a while but I had been put off by reviews of various products which did not connect reliably, had a very short range or a short battery life. Eventually, I came across this product which, although not the cheapest of it’s type, seemed to have largely good reviews.

It comes in a strong box with a twin charging lead so that the egg and the control unit can be charged from a USB socket or adaptor at the same time. The connectors are pushed through the silicone skins at clearly marked points and the silicone ‘heals’ again when the connectors are removed. The charging light changes from red to white (pink) when the units are fully charged.

The instructions are poor but fortunately it’s not difficult to work out how to use the product. In use the egg is switched on by pressing the power button for a few seconds till the red light comes on then, using some water-based lube, the egg is inserted into the vagina. My wife found it very easy to insert and position (although she did forget to switch it on the first time). The control unit is operated by holding the heart-shaped button. As soon as the red light on the controller illuminates the egg begins to vibrate. Pressing the button repeatedly scrolls through the vibration patterns and there is a + and a - button to control the speed of the vibrations. To turn the vibrations off the heart-shaped button is held until the red light goes out.

The vibrations buzz rather than rumble but the patterns are interesting and my wife can certainly feel them and they definitely put a smile on her face. She particularly enjoys the naughtiness of being secretly stimulated in public and also the suspense of not knowing when the vibrations will start up again. She would not orgasm using this product as she needs intense direct clitoral stimulation to reach an orgasm but she still enjoys the experience.

Battery life seems good. We use the egg intermittently over periods of a few hours and it shows no sign of running low on charge.

Overall we are very happy with this product and feel that it is definitely worth the money.

Overall Rating: 8 out of 10 stars

Pros: Rechargeable, easy to use, reliable and fun.

Cons: Poor instructions.

Bottom Line: Works exactly as described.

Ian_Chimp · March 23, 2021, 2:00pm

by @Knottydevil, 21 Jun 2019
Vixen Mustang VixSkin Bright Realistic Suction Cup Dildo

Isn’t he lovely

How can I describe just how good this dildo is?

If you’ve never come across Vixskin, it’s likely to be a revelation: a fairly rigid core gives the impression that Mustang’s a raging stiff erection, but with progressively a bit more flex in each bit of the shaft as you travel from root to tip, a really lovely amount of soft squish at the head, and quite a bit more of this squishiness down the shaft to the base, as you might expect from a real cock. The combination of flexibility, squishy softness and stiffness feels really realistic to the touch when lubed, and even more realistic if warmed up to body heat.

The veins and ridges add a little to the realism, and the effect is really a bit magical!

Standard single density silicone now feels really artificial and unforgiving after playing with this thing. Our standard toys have less give, which is good for some, but that’s definitely not our thing.

The suction cup works well on clean bathroom tiles, after a strong push to drive the air out, and it takes a really hard tug to pull off the wall. It’s easily removed by pulling up one edge.

As an introduction to the Vixskin range, I’d say this is a great toy, unless you know you crave a solid bit of girth. In any event, this is a good warm-up toy, even if you do.

The squishy silicone has a bit of give to it so conquering Mustang’s girth is not as challenging as the numbers may appear to indicate. This is definitely helped by the fact that the cross section is kinda oval shaped, having slightly less width than height. I suspect this is what keeps the end pointing nicely skywards when this dildo’s suction cup is pressed onto the bathroom tiles, and helps maintains that lovely curve that helps direct the teasing pressure of that gorgeously squishy head.

Size wise, for my OH this is a great warm-up vaginally, or a good but comfortable stretch anally, for a nicely relaxed bottom. We have larger toys now for my OH’s more size-queen desires, but Mustang will still get a regular outing for prepping or some cheeky butt-play.

I’m keen to treat my OH to Maverick’s more challenging proportions soon. It does seem collecting a set is quite common for Vixskin dildo owners! Thanks to LH’s sales and offer this feels achievable. We definitely want more and see this toy as a good investment.

I’m crossing my fingers for more Vixskin Tie-brite dildos to appear on these shores soon. A colourful toy is definitely more our thing than the flesh-toned kind.

The tie bright pattern is really pretty, with a lovely mother-of-pearl-ish effect to the base, and neon bright swirling colours. Awesomely pretty, and fun!

This VixSkin dildo comes packaged in a Vixen creation branded tube with a cap at each end. It looks fairly impressive when displayed this way, and I guess they stack well if you own several…

In reality, many of us dildo bearers will be putting this beautiful object and it’s 3.5-inch round, 8-inch tall display container away in a drawer out of sight.

I totally get why others would want to keep this on display though!

The tube is sturdy, easy to keep clean, and a great place to store the super-soft squishy silicone surface away from other toys. I’ve read a couple of horror stories of warped and discoloured silicone when silicone toys are kept together, so I prefer not to risk leaving this wonder out of its tube. One of Lovehoney’s large bondage storage bags stows this and our other kit safely and discreetly away.

It’s really easy to sterilise this toy between uses, by dropping it in boiling water for 3 minutes+ for total peace of mind. Have done this 30-40 times and am happy to report this has zero effect on shape, looks or surface feel.

Talking of feel; the silicone is lovely and smooth, and my OH loves the prominent, but not outlandish head. This dildo works really well with a good covering of lube, and we’ve found Sliquid’s Sassy lasts well and doesn’t usually need reapplying for vaginal play.

Often, before play, I’ll also drop Mustang in warm water to bring it to body temperature. It warms up quickly through use anyway, but my OH absolutely loves the feel of Mustang’s warm squishy, lubed head.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Everything. It’s fun, colourful, has lovely curves, a prominent head, and feels awesome!

Cons: Basically nothing. Will buy more.

Bottom Line: No regrets. This dildo is amazing!

Ian_Chimp · March 23, 2021, 2:00pm

by @Vagslayer420, 13 Sep 2019
Lovehoney Classic Mains Powered Magic Wand Vibrator

Big, Black and Blissful

Like most women when it comes down to cumming, vibrators open me up to a whole new world of orgasms. Back in the day when I first discovered masturbation, my electric toothbrush was my best friend. Growing older and then discovering lovehoney, I ordered my first ever Bunny and god it was a hell of a lot better than my toothbrush and I quickly became addicted.

I wanted to try this monster and it has been on my wish list since my first ever lovehoney order in 2016, but it was expensive and somewhat intimidating compared to the little baby bunny, and I put it off for a while. Finally I thought fuck it, lets go for it, £50 for unlimited orgasms is an absolute bargain, I cleared my schedule and ordered it with next day delivery so I could play as soon as possible.

And oh my god did I play… for about ten blissful seconds. I had it on my clit over my knickers on the lowest setting when an intense orgasm ricocheted through my body. My whole body tensed up and I was paralyzed, unable to even move. I thought that was it, this is how I go and I apologize to the person who finds me half naked and dead with a massive vibrator buzzing away in my hand. (Can you die from an orgasm?) I grabbed a glass of water and steadied my dizzy head after what was the most intense orgasm of my life, and then proceeded to go again. I came 22 times in the space of half an hour, each orgasm being as intense as the last. I couldn’t even walk right and had to go to sleep to try to regain some of the lost energy.

This vibrator lives up to everything i’d hoped it would be, I truly cannot recommend it more, just go slow and make sure you have nothing planned for the rest of the day because you will become blissfully immobilized.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Everything.

Cons: Quite noisy, but your moans will easily mask this.

Bottom Line: F*ck diamonds - this is a girl’s best friend.

Ian_Chimp · March 23, 2021, 2:00pm

by @VR, 08 Sep 2019
Lovehoney Air and Water Curved Silicone Dildo

A cure for the blues

I received this in exchange for an honest review - thank you, Lovehoney.

It arrived in the usual plain cardboard box (easily recycled). Inside this box was a fairly plain box with a picture of the dildo on it. The dildo is packaged in a plastic bag (for hygiene I assume).

The dildo itself is absolutely gorgeous. Mine is a beautiful swirl of cobalt, turquoise and pale blue. Just looking at it makes me think of a tropical beach.

The silicone is very smooth and silky, firm but not hard like glass or steel. It begs to be held. It has a handy suction cup with a slot that my Tango fitted in quite nicely. The suction isn’t as good as my Lifelike Lover dildo probably because it’s a firmer silicone.

It’s shaped in a mildly realistic way a nice curve and a fairly small head but no veins. It’s also not that girthy so would be great for people looking for a smaller dildo.

I’ve used it several times over the past week and enjoyed every minute! Initially, I used it internally (well-lubed) with a bullet vibe on my clit. This resulted in a pretty good orgasm. On to trying it with my Tango in the slot, it didn’t give me an orgasm, but I hadn’t expected it to as I need clitoral stimulation.

Then I used it with the Tango in the slot and my We-Vibe Melt on my clit… lift off!

It’s firm enough to stimulate my G-spot nicely but not so large at the base that it blocks me from using a toy on my clit. The vibes coming from the Tango in the slot are fairly muted on the lowest setting so don’t overwhelm the stimulation my clit gets from either my Melt or my Mantric bullet. Perfect!

This is such a gorgeous dildo I haven’t been able to stop playing with it - when not in use it sits serenely on my bedside table reminding me of that far-off tropical beach I’d love to visit one day.

I’d totally recommend this dildo to people who don’t like a realistic or girthy dildo. It would also be perfect to introduce to a partner who is maybe intimidated by a more realistic or larger dildo. I haven’t tried it anally but I think it would make a good anal toy, too.

It’s a great little toy that can be used in a variety of ways and is really easy to clean. And did I mention it’s gorgeous?

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: The colours - beautiful and very unusual.

Cons: Nothing.

Bottom Line: A great starter dildo or useful (and gorgeous) addition to anyone’s collection.

Ian_Chimp · March 23, 2021, 2:00pm

by @Optimized, 23 Sep 2019
LovehoneyFantasy Officer Frisk-em Costume

PC Everhard is here to take down your particulars!

With its great novelty details, like the Lovehoney badge on the cap, and the cheeky ‘69’ collar numbers, it’s clear that this police costume is all about naughty fun. In some ways it’s like a male stripper’s version of what a police officer’s uniform might look like, and that’s no bad thing. Certainly if you’re new to role play, or are just looking for a playful, light-hearted way to experiment with different scenarios, then I think this is a perfect option.

Included with the costume is that all-important police cap, with stiff vinyl covered peak, authentic-looking, chequered strip and the Lovehoney police badge. The cap has a completely adjustable popper strip at the back making it suitable for all hat sizes. I’ve got quite a big head (59cm) but it fits me fine. My only minor criticism is that the upper, fabric part of the cap is a bit on the large side, but I guess this is so it can mimic the peaked-cap look. However, if you’ve got a smallish head you might find the cap looks a bit over-sized.

For me, one of the elements that really makes this costume great is the white collar, with shoulder epaulettes and black, shiny tie. It’s really easy to put on - my collar size is 16” and there was room to spare - but perhaps, more importantly, it’s very easy to take off, should you wish to. Personally, I like to keep it on during role play as it does a great job of suggesting a police uniform whilst at the same time allowing me to have a pretty much naked torso.

Talking of revealing flesh… the black mesh boxer shorts, with chequered waistband, are very cheeky! The mesh reveals everything around the back, as well as providing sexy side glimpses around the front. The pouch is made of shiny black poly-elastane, which perfectly showcases PC Everhard’s concealed truncheon. I’m a size 32” waist and these shorts were a great fit - they weren’t too tight, but equally weren’t loose and saggy. BTW, the washing instructions for all elements of the costume are on the label sewn into the shorts. They were very comfortable to wear and my partner said that inspecting my police tackle through the soft, wet-look pouch was a big turn-on.

Which brings me on to the main purpose of wearing this costume - the horny role-play with my partner! He’s already got a bit of a thing for police officers, so I knew this would be right up his heavily-patrolled street. We devised a scenario where I caught him attempting to burgle a house, leading to me apprehend him, using a pair of Lovehoney handcuffs to ensure he wasn’t going to resist. Needless to say, he had to negotiate and bargain with me until we agreed, and carried out, the ‘unconventional’ terms of his release. Yes, I’m afraid police corruption is rife in the Lovehoney Force!

The outfit is great for helping to set the scene but also has that fun, naughty element that means that it doesn’t feel like we needed to take things too seriously. I find laughter, humour and play essential for good role play otherwise it can feel a bit pressurised, as if you’re auditioning for RADA. We’ve already got several more scenarios lined up that feature this costume… including a probing investigation in the police interview room, a strip search in the detention cell and a private performance from a male stripper. No doubt standard-issue police ball-gags, blindfolds, dildos and vibrators will feature in these!

In summary, the Frisk-em police officer costume is a great way to explore a number of different scenarios, ranging from light bondage and control, to full-on BDSM scenes. Or, you could take an alternative route and pretend that you’ve been set up with an unexpected ‘strip-o-gram’ arriving at your door! The costume is well made with the emphasis on including just the right details to suggest a copper’s uniform whilst leaving other parts of your body exposed for easy access. I only wish that cap fitted a bit more snugly!

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: Costume was sexy, revealing, well-made and had fun details.

Cons: Cap, whilst fully adjustable, is just a little too big in my opinion.

Bottom Line: A sexy, well-made, male-stripper inspired take on the police officer uniform.

Ian_Chimp · March 23, 2021, 2:00pm

by @Tik-tok, 25 Sep 2019
Celeste White Front-Fastening Lace Bra Set