Review Hall of Fame

[Ian_Chimp]

by @London_Lover, 10 Oct 2019
Fifty Shades of Grey Something Forbidden Silicone Butt Plug

Perfect for the butt-virgin wife

I bought this for the wife, along with the Inside Job toy for me. She’s often talked about trying a butt plug. However, is not a fan of the tails and the jewels - a bit showy for her (at the moment).

So this simple, attractive and top quality Fifty Shades of Grey plug drew our attention when it was on offer.

Great little plug, high-grade silicone with a tapered tip that made for relatively easy first-time insertion. I have to admit, seeing it disappear inside where I have yet to venture myself was a a massive turn-on. Even more so was the look of ecstasy on her face when it popped inside so just the little ring was visible.

It stayed in place for the duration, and I do think I could feel it when I was inside her, though I was told not to be so daft and to just carry on with what I was supposed to be doing…

A little gentle manipulation of the ring whilst fingers were otherwise engaged drove her over the edge, and the puckering was great to see when she orgasmed. Apparently it was a big success for something that is actually quite small.

Clean-up - not a problem at all. Lovehoney toy cleaner + 3 minutes in boiling water = ready for next time!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Quality feel. The ring on the end makes it easy to play with during sex.

Cons: Nothing at all.

Bottom Line: Don’t let the small size put you off - this is a keeper!

[Ian_Chimp]

@Blissfulkink99, 29 Oct 2019
Lovehoney Fierce Wet Look and Mesh Long Sleeve Dress

Slinky, shiny, sexy – what’s not to love?

The Lovehoney Fierce Wet Look and Mesh Long Sleeve Dress arrived in traditionally discreet fashion, and it’s what we’ve come to expect from LH.

One of the reasons we’ve been using this website for so long is that we feel completely comfortable and secure making purchases. I think about 50% of our post and parcels comes from Lovehoney, and the postie has no idea!

Anyway, this arrived along with the Fierce Wet Look and Mesh Deep V Body. My OH basically spent that Friday evening trying out both items, and generally making me feel like a very lucky guy.

She was particularly excited about this dress. She loves dresses and wet look, so it was always going to be a winner. It’s a slinky dress, fitting closely to her slim figure and complimenting her shape. She’s a size 10 while this was a medium, and it was perfect.

This product isn’t too provocative, with plenty left to the imagination, but seeing my OH bend over, with the wet look material stretching tightly over her bum, was so hot and absolutely irresistible. Luckily you can easily pull the dress up…

It’s also such a turn-on to be able to just grip the shiny, smooth wet look material while going down on my OH. She loves the feel of it on her skin (while my head is between her legs).

She also really enjoys the long mesh sleeves and says that overall this is just a really comfortable item to wear, whilst also being a bit naughty. You could also genuinely wear this out to a club night, if that’s your thing, particularly a fetish night.

This product is part of LH’s Fierce range, and you should take a look at all of it if you haven’t already. There are so many gorgeous, kinky designs - we’re going to try and work through as many as we can!

This dress is beautifully designed, reasonably subtle for wet look, comfortable, hot and great value. Highly recommended from two wet look enthusiasts!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Material, design, slinky look, quite subtle for wet look so a bit different.

Cons: Nothing, it’s great!

Bottom Line: Stunning dress with a touch of kink - comfortable, sexy and, best of all, SHINY!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Mr_Parker, Nov 2019
Tracey Cox Supersex Male Vibrator

Sky Rockets in Flight, Afternoon Delight!

As a natural cynic I was prepared to hate this device. I’ve bought sex toys in the past only to condemn them to the bin after the first use and cursed myself for being such a gullible old fool, wishing I’d given the money to the dog’s home in the first place. However, I was filled with anticipation and couldn’t wait to give it a whirl.

I’m a 71 yo single gay man: I can still maintain an erection but those long lazy fun-filled afternoons are just a fond memory. I miss the foreplay which I always felt was more enjoyable than the sex act. I was hoping that this device would help me to experience that slow teasing build-up of yesteryear. I was not disappointed. I’ll admit that the thing does look ridiculous and isn’t the sort of thing you’d like to be seen wearing by the girls in the typing pool, but with only the cat to bother about, who cares about appearances?

I’d advise anyone buying one to get an erection before trying to put it on. When the thing is slimy with lube and the old guy is soft it’s a bit like trying to stuff a hamster into a deflated balloon - both bits take on a life of their own.

I’m somewhat smaller than average in length but considerably larger than average in girth, so the sleeve almost covered the shaft but being quite thick the fit was very tight, which I liked and added to the enjoyment. I’m not sure about the rows of nipples inside the sleeve; they added nothing to the experience and when the old chap popped out he bore an uncanny resemblance to that walnut in the fruit bowl that’s left over from last Christmas. Next model, ditch the nipples and save on production costs!

I played around for half an hour or so changing speeds and trying different areas and positions. I found the lower speeds seemed to give me more pleasure; the vibrations are slower but more pronounced - for me at least. If I’d been masturbating in the conventional way it would have all been over long ago and I’d have been downstairs watching ‘A Place in the Sun’, but with this baby I was still hard as a rock and a long way from the final curtain. I was fairly self-conscious about what I was doing because it was a new experience, but quite suddenly the mood changed and the vibrations hit the sweet spot and things went into autopilot. All told I think I managed about an hour of self-indulgent pleasure, which I thought was pretty good going at my age.

If you haven’t got one of these then I strongly recommend you buy one. For the price of a couple of bottles of decent wine you can give yourself (and maybe your partner) some gently erotic pleasure and you won’t have a sore head in the morning (well, your head might be sore but it won’t be the one sitting on your shoulders!).

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: It’s reasonably priced and simply does what it says on the tin!

Cons: Not much to dislike apart from the nipples inside the sleeve; they add nothing.

Bottom Line: A first class product that delivers. It has given me what I was looking for.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @VR, 17 Nov 2019
Swan Motion Rechargeable Luxury Thrusting Rabbit Vibrator

The Superhero of Rabbits

I’ve wanted to try a thruster rabbit since seeing a friend’s hop across her kitchen table a while back. It was a pretty, sparkly jelly thing with all the bells and whistles, more control knobs than a NASA console but wasn’t waterproof and ate AA batteries like they were carrots.

It was hit or miss for her, not always guaranteeing an orgasm, and it was also the same shape as a non-thruster she’d bought for me when rabbits first came out so I knew it wouldn’t work for me.

I’ve tried a few rabbits and had seen a few more I’d considered, but had yet to take the plunge with a thruster when I was picked by Lovehoney to try this one - thank you, Lovehoney.

It arrived in the usual plain box that, when Mr Postie handed over, I thought was a mistake as it was heavy enough to have contained a steel toy. Upon opening it was indeed the Swan Motion. The rabbit itself is heavy but the packaging is also pretty heavy with a magnetic closure and luxurious foam padding. Even the very welcome satin storage bag is a lot sturdier than the average satin bag (though it needs to be with this toy!).

I put it on charge for 2.5 hours by sticking the USB pin into the self-healing port which was firm and easy to place. I went off to read the booklet while I waited (after my experience with my friend’s rabbit I thought I’d need to).

However, it turns out this is a lot simpler to use. No multiple sliders and knobs, just a power switch that illuminates while charging and on and up/down buttons.

When fully-charged I started to play with the controls to see how it works. Again, this turns out to be simple. Turn off the travel lock by holding down the power button for a few seconds (it leaps twice so be prepared in case it hops out of your hand!). The power button controls the three speeds for the rabbit ears - very soft and flexible but easy to place for your own anatomy and very effective in use.

The up/down buttons control the thrusting. There are seven speeds, the first of which starts very slow. The highest speed is very fast and feels like an extremely deep, penetrating vibration as well as a fast thrust. You can use both ears and thruster together or independently.

The rabbit is made from a silky soft silicone that is easy to clean as it is waterproof. The creases that allow for the thrusting movement aren’t close or many so there are no deep wrinkles that are hard to clean.

This is a very solid and heavy toy and as I have wrist problems I thought I might have had a problem with it. However, it’s very well-balanced and has well-placed control buttons that aren’t fiddly, even with slippery hands. It can be used hands-free by using a pillow/rolled up towel or lodging against your legs.

I’ve had a really good play around with this lovely rabbit over the last few days and am pleased to report that by using the above technique I had several hands-free orgasms (and as my partner was away working, my freed hands enhanced my orgasms by playing with my nipples). What more could a lonesome gal ask for?

“But how do the thrusts feel?” I hear you ask.

Well, I think you’ll be quite surprised at how strong the thrusts are. They’re certainly a lot stronger than my friend’s thrusting rabbit. The range of the thrusting tempo is clear between each speed setting (sometimes normal vibes annoy me by having increments that aren’t easily distinguished - but that’s just me). The physical thrust range isn’t huge but it doesn’t need to be.

There’s a slight angle at the tip that fits me perfectly. It doesn’t seem much of an angle compared to some G-spot vibes but it’s perfect for the thrust the Swan generates. Although I can get overwhelmed by clit stim on a fairly high setting alone, combining the rabbit ears’ second setting along with the fastest thrusts - that are so strong and seem to vibrate in a way they don’t on a slower setting - did something to me I’ve never experienced before. I’m hooked!

The only downside I can think of with the Swan is that it is quite noisy. Having said that I was doing a bit of last-minute ‘research’ for this review as my partner arrived home, plonked himself on the sofa and put the telly on unaware of what I was doing upstairs.

This is a considered purchase but one I think that if you’re looking for a thrusting rabbit is well worth it - especially if you can use one of Lovehoney’s great discounts. This is not your average rabbit. It’s a luxury toy that’s actually backed by a 10-year extended guarantee (read the T&Cs; in the booklet) on top of the usual one-year warranty.

I’ve had little luck with rabbits over the years - the fit or vibes have rarely done it for me. This is a totally different animal, though. If you like rabbits you’ll love this one. If you’ve never found ‘the one’, I think this could change your mind.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Everything.

Cons: It’s a bit noisy.

Bottom Line: Powerful and unique. I’ve never experienced anything like it.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @RosyCheek, 22 Nov 2019
Lovehoney Plus Size Treasure Me Red Push-Up Basque Set

Treasure Me…The Return!

I am fortunate enough to own several pieces of the Treasure Me range dating back to the very first release almost three years ago. Treasure Me will always have a hold of my heart, so knowing that they were improving the range really had me excited!

Opening that discreet brown box I was greeted with an old friend. That luxurious purple satin, black mesh and sexy black lace filled me with joy! This time there were differences. Fabulous differences.

The cups of the basque this time round are moulded unlike the previous version which was subtlety padded. The lace is attached to a flesh tone fabric on the cup. This means that there is no chance of the lace rolling or falling down. It gives the old bust a full rounded look. It is also much more comfortable, it is hard to do as Treasure Me is a comfortable range!

The fit is perfect. I am over 5’9" size 18-20 (probably more towards the 20 side), a modest C cup bust, a pudgy tummy and a round behind. This hugs every curve in just the right place. The zip down the front really seals you in. The light boning gives you a more hourglass appearance, but the mesh has a good stretch, so it is completely breathable. It is comfortably sculpting.

The base sits just above the top of my bum. It hides my wobbly bits and exposes my peachy behind. I am tall, so I always expect lingerie to be on the short side, but I totally work it!

My favourite part of this basque, as with all the Treasure Me pieces, are the straps. They have the gorgeous colour elastic and an almost capped lace sleeve.

The thong that comes with the basque is plain and simple. It is not exciting nor is it boring. It just completes the look.

Suspenders are detachable, which I’d always a positive as I dont alway’s wear stockings with my lingerie.

I love this as does my husband. Well done, Lovehoney!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: The new fit, moulded cups and those sleeves!

Cons: Nothing at all.

Bottom Line: A great improved version of my favourite range!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @MsR, 28 Nov 2019
We-Vibe Gala App Control Clitoral Vibrator

Fun, fun, fun - from a distance too

This is our first app activated device - what a brilliant idea! Although the toy can be used without it, the app was easy to download to a phone - two phones, in fact (one Apple, one Android). It comes with instructions. My OH works away a lot, so while we had some fun trying the app at home (it was hilarious, and laughing together is always sexy), the real excitement will be trying it next time he is away in some remote location.

The toy itself looks intriguing - a candy pink variation on rabbit ears, with raised controls so it’s less likely to slip around like soap in the shower (yes, it is waterproof). The silicone is silky. It sits well in the hand, like a pebble. Just holding it would relieve stress! The charging point is on the base and it’s magnetic so easy to use, providing an amazing 2 hours of pleasure. It is sensitive to movement - less so than the popular Tango as the touch-points are larger - but still, let it sleep in peace for a while after a busy session.

The toy sounds intriguing too, having a motor in each ear. The ears are thicker and firmer than the prongs on some rabbit type toys, making them easy to use on different parts of the body. I like this. Lots of opportunities for nipple play, earlobes and so on. More intimately, they can be placed with one ear each side of the clitoris (upwards or downwards and sliding - pointing the toy upwards gets those urethra hotspots involved ), or both pinpointing on one side, or just one down the length on either side - plenty of variety for a clit stimulator. For couples, running the ears up and down the penis shaft or directing them at your partner’s perineum during oral doesn’t get any complaints! The toy is also great to use with a dildo, vibrator or plug. In fact, I prefer this sort of combo to a traditional rabbit vibrator as it is more easily personalised for blended orgasms.

Which brings me to those orgasms… I have always found We-Vibe to be a bit variable on this. I love the Tango bullet, but we didn’t get on quite so well with the couples toy (Unite). But everyone is different and the Gala did not disappoint. I like strong, constant vibes and this certainly ticked that box. It doesn’t have the direct power of the Tango so it might not be for power queens going solo, but for those who prefer patterns, partnership or a gentler rumble there are plenty of options to enjoy with the Gala. I certainly enjoyed my big ‘O’, and the digital novelty of the toy piqued the interest of my OH - it is fun.

The Gala is nicely packaged and comes with a satin storage bag - it feels like a high end product - and the outer Lovehoney packaging is plain, delivery fast.

In summary, a versatile toy, easy to move around different areas, great for couples - especially long distance - and for solo play too. It combines well with other toys and can be used for more general stimulation and well as clitorally.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: The look and the versatility.

Cons: Nothing.

Bottom Line: Great for couples and solo.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @unifex, 02 Dec 2019
Hot Octopuss PULSE SOLO LUX Remote Control Vibrating Male Masturbator

Amazing hands-free orgasms

TL;DR: Wow. The bottom line is that this toy makes hands-free orgasms extremely easy with (optionally) zero cleanup.

The toy is sleek and feels well made, it’s very convincingly waterproof, and has a durable feel to it that makes me think that it’s going to last a long time. There’s a few different ways to use this toy so I thought I’d try to cover the ones I know about.

Hands-free, no lube:

This is the best use for this toy in my opinion. The best analogy for the experience is to say it is like the kind of orgasm that girls get to have with vibrators. Until I tried this toy I had never really experienced first-hand that things like vibration patterns particularly mattered. They so do! There’s no trick to it either, you just let it do its thing and play with the settings. The best thing though is that if you don’t use lube there is literally zero cleanup beyond the usual, which makes it far preferable to other male toys 90% of the time for me.

With lube, as a stroker:

Not as much of a new experience as the above but worth a mention since the vibrations are really strong when turned up to max. This is the what I was initially expecting out of this toy really and it does perform well, but the hands-free experience is where it really shines.

With a partner:

So the watch that it comes with for controlling the settings was a lot more useful than I was expecting, I would definitely lose a remote under the circumstances, and funnily I found it really comes into its own with a partner. Without going into too much detail the experience I most strongly recommend with this toy is to combine it with a blindfold and restraints. I knew ahead of time what the vibe was capable of, having used it solo, but I can only imagine the surprise for someone who doesn’t know that vibes can be like this for men.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: The hands-free orgasms are a new (amazing) experience that is a must-try.

Cons: It would be amazing if there were different sizes so the fit could be perfect.

Bottom Line: It’s a great toy, strong vibrations, hands-free orgasms, amazing.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Petrichor, 30 Dec 2019
Intimina Ziggy Ultimate Comfort Flat-Fit Menstrual Cup

Pink Yorkshire Pudding!

Since I found out softcups that can be used for sex existed I’ve wanted to try one, so getting a nice reusable silicone cup, with a silicone case is great!

I received this one as a tester, so have only been able to use it the once before getting my review in, so although it wasn’t an entirely great experience I’m expecting it to only get easier from here - my first cup I ever used was also a challenge to get used to!

I love menstrual cups, but they’re definitely not for everyone. If you are not very comfortable with your body (or not happy to learn to be!) menstrual cups probably aren’t for you. If you know where your cervix is, and you’re not put off by blood, you’re more likely to get on well with it.

This style is very different from the standard ‘cup’ shape, it essentially lies diagonally from underneath your cervix, to under your pubic bone. Because of my anatomy, this poses a bit of a challenge - I’m quite small with a very low cervix, and it is towards the back of my vagina. The cup, on the other hand, is quite a lot longer folded flat to insert and kept trying to go over the top, meaning it would catch precisely no blood at all. Quite a lot of wiggling and repositioning required - but after the first few attempts, I could get it into place after only a few minutes.

The first couple of days honestly did not go well, maybe because of my lack of experience with this style of the cup there was a lot of leakage. I put this partially down to oversleeping lying on my front, meaning it was not held in the cup by gravity, but it then happened again later that morning. I was very relieved to have taken the day off work, and only had to explain my unplanned showers to my boyfriend. 20 degree wash cycles saved two pairs of pyjamas and a lot of underwear I feared was dead to me.

After day 2, I had no issues at all with leakage. I was able to run upstairs two at a time and do a pullup. The only time a problem occurred is when a friend picked me up in a goodbye hug and squeezed me tight enough to break the seal, meaning I have to shoo him out of the house and run to the bathroom.

I was also able to use the toilet without needing to remove my cup - it didn’t slip out of place at all, but the seal did momentarily break meaning it slightly emptied itself. To properly break the seal and remove the cup, you need to hook your finger under the rim of the cup and slide it out. If you slide it straight down (the easiest way) your entire palm is in the firing line. If you flex it and try to slide it up towards your mons, you can avoid the mess a little. I think this is just because of the angle of the rim - if you hold a cup at 45 degrees, it’s going to make a lot more mess than if you keep it upright!

The silicone of the cup body is practically paper-thin - it has some stretch in it, but I’m concerned I might put my nail through it one day! This is important for its main selling point - that you can have sex with it! While with my anatomy I don’t think I’d be able to have sex with my boyfriend due to lack of depth, I can confirm that pressure feels just as good through the thin membrane of the cup, and it definitely works for a couple of inches / G-spot stimulation. If you’re comfortable enough with blood to use this cup, you’re probably also not going to be too worried about mess having sex without it, but I can see it being really helpful if you’re fine with mess but your partner isn’t.

The packaging was utterly ridiculous for a product that’s supposed to be reusable and better for the environment; it was encased in a solid plastic box. I’d have been a lot happier with a cardboard box, or vacuum-sealed plastic shell on a piece of card.

The silicone case it came with I really liked. This is a big improvement from the last Intimina cup I bought, which had a plastic clamshell case that you could see the plastic hinges fatiguing on from the first use. The case doesn’t completely seal, so I would probably want to slip it in another bag, but this is good so that it will always have airflow to be kept clean and dry. For someone with irregular periods, it’s nice to be able to just keep something like that in a bag / drawer at work.

Sexual hygiene and health are a normal and really important part of sexual happiness, and menstruation seems to be something that gets neglected - plenty of condoms and douches, but no tampons or cups! Some toy brands that are already stocked here have also branched out into cups, so I’m hoping to see more similar products. I’m so glad that Lovehoney have started selling these - I think I’d previously requested cups in the pander to me thread because there’s nobody I trust more when purchasing silicone for my vagina!

Overall Rating: 8 out of 10 stars

Pros: Silicone, good sensation through it, double rim, silicone case.

Cons: Slightly too big for me, wasteful packaging, leaked lying on my front.

Bottom Line: Improvement on Intimina collapsible cup, suitable for high cervix, leaked more than my normal cup.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Mint-Monster, 16 Dec 2019
Lovehoney Do You Come Here Often? Role Play Book

Little Book of Prompts

It’s always a pleasure to be sent something to test from the generous Lovehoney - thanks a bunch!

So what do we have here? A book of role-play ideas to get your imagination bubbling, that’s what. There’s 52 in all, so you’re sure to find something in here that appeals to you. I consider my myself very fussy, but even I liked about 30% of them (yes, I actually worked it out). To be honest, I expected the most vanilla, overdone scenarios but was surprised by a good few of them. Don’t get me wrong, all the classics are here; fire-fighter, nurse, office temp, etc. which aren’t my cup of tea but I’m sure they are for someone.

The book is a nice, compact size which is convenient for storage or travel. You can feel the quality in this book with its matte hardcover and thick, hardy pages - it’s built to last, put it that way. The only problem with the matte cover is the way it picks up fingerprints, but that’s a given with this material. The neon light design theme that runs throughout the book is cool to look at and easy to follow. There are no photos and text is kept to a minimum. The first few introductory pages include a gift idea “to-and-from” page and a “how to use” page. There’s also an important message about safety and consent as a reminder to keep things fun for all members.

There is a large role-play number on the left page and the idea name, simple illustration and scenario description on the right page. One could argue that having just the number on a single page like that is a bit of a waste, but I think it keeps the book simple and less cluttered. You can hold the book in a way where you can only see the numbers which can make picking one a surprise, too. There’s no rule to say you have to read the book in order- just flick to a page and there’s your scenario. If you did want to read the whole thing, you could comfortably do so in one sitting- probably less than 30 minutes depending on your reading speed.

The scenarios are kept short and vague enough for you to get your imagination going. It won’t go into great detail and it encourages you to go with the flow- it’s up to you what happens next. The main themes tend to be:

• Meet and do

• Give in to temptation

• Control/Do as you’re told

There’s also a number of scenarios that I’d place in the “other” category. Because of the overall themes, there can be similarities in some of the descriptions. For example, obeying a monarch is almost like the hypnotist and devil scenario as you are essentially doing the same thing. I suppose what I’m getting at is that some of the themes tend to repeat themselves except with a different skin. This alone is probably enough to set them apart because even I prefer some ideas over others despite them having the same theme. There are ideas that are wackier than others, but there’s potential fun in all of them. I can’t really say if the fantasies are good or bad because everyone is different and will have their own unique experiences. Some I liked, some not so much.

Nothing is really gender-specific in this book, so anyone can take the role they desire. It’s aimed as a couples book as all the scenarios require 2 people to act them out and I think it could be equally enjoyed by straight and same-sex couples. There’s not much in the descriptions about adding more than 2 players, but hey, it’s your fantasy (just add an extra fire-fighter or two). Even if you’re single or just want to play alone, there’s plenty of fantasy prompts here to be had. So basically, this book could be for anyone. However, if you prefer more in-depth descriptions/stories, then look elsewhere. If you like to use your imagination after a simple prompt, then it’s more up your street. Dressing the part isn’t required to have fun, but all the ideas are here in case you do.

The tone of the writing is kept light and flirty with nothing being too taboo or offensive. This is a very nitpicky thing I had while reading the book which probably won’t bother most people, but here goes. Even though the scenarios are kept vague, there’s some extra info that I think should be left out. For example, “you’re in a New York skyscraper”. Why does it have to be New York? Or “you meet an alien that looks and feels just like a human”. Can’t an alien look like anything? I know Lovehoney probably want to play it safe, but I think little details like that should be more up to the reader’s imagination. Again, you could just ignore certain things in the prompts and make them all your own.

Well, there are 52 ideas in this book for you to select from- that’s enough for each week of the year! It’s sure to keep you busy but not with the reading material - it’s short, sweet and to the point. A great source for those with a feisty imagination just waiting to act out a playful scenario. Which one are you going to do first?

Overall Rating: 8 out of 10 stars

Pros: Cool and simple design. Storage and travel friendly. Plenty to choose from.

Cons: Some ideas feel similar to one another. Imagination required as descriptions are short.

Bottom Line: Will depend on taste of the individual, but it’s fun to experiment with.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @_sexybabe, 08 Dec 2019
Lovehoney Midnight Mirage Black Lace Bra Set

Flirty, Feminine and Fully Adjustable

I love a good bra set! Thanks to Lovehoney for sending me this absolutely gorgeous set to review.

This is probably the most delicate piece I own, the detail is so intricate and the eyelash lace so soft. It was quite difficult to work out which bit went where at first!

Looks

The bra cups are quite skimpy and only just cover my nipples, not that they cover much at all due to the lace! This is definitely an outfit for the bedroom, not for going out. The lace curves gently at the bottom of the bra and the three straps that go either side and in the centre of my boobs look super pretty. I love the detail around the neck! I enjoy wearing high necklaces and chokers, but you don’t need to with this bra as this set frames your neck.

With the suspender belt, there’s lots of lace around the middle so if you’re not keen on your lower tummy then it will be fairly well hidden. What isn’t hidden is everything at the back, you can literally only see straps from behind with a teeny bit of lace at the back of the thong! I’m not as confident about my bum so I prefer to wear briefs or boy shorts, but that’s just a personal preference.

The attached suspenders are gorgeous with the triangle of lace on the front of each leg! I love the detail.

One minor niggle I have is that some of the lace doesn’t quite lay flat against my body, so I have to keep smoothing it down! It’s only really the bit above the suspender belt that does this.

Adjustability and Comfort

Absolutely top marks on this front! There are so many ways to adjust this piece. Let’s start with the bra. The under bust straps are elasticated but with a slider, rather than hook and eye fastening. This means you have more options to get the bra to fit you really well under your boobs. It’s a double strap so you can adjust them both. The three straps are also all adjustable via sliders. I really like the look of the double straps as it gives this otherwise feminine piece a sexy edge.

The suspender belt confused me a bit at first, so many straps! But you pretty much just need to step into it. You can get a really good fit here too as there are adjustable sliders to the back of the waist strap, front and backs of the attached suspender straps and also around the thighs. I’m loving the fact that this really is a full piece as there is no need to add suspenders or stockings, once wearing this three-piece set all you need to add is heels and a smile!

The thong is also adjustable (wow!) at each of the slides, again this is by a slider bar. Being bigger on top and slight around the hips, this is great news for me as I usually find thongs a bit too big when I buy a set. There’s a bit of lace around the back and lots of see-through lace at the front. Naughty!

The Fit

I’m a 32DD, size 10 and I was sent this in a medium. The fit is absolutely perfect for me as I can adjust everything to get it to fit my body. I love the fact that Lovehoney lingerie is so adjustable, it gives plenty more options to enable everything to be able to enjoy the set.

Recommendations

I’d recommend this set for the bedroom, rather than a practical set you can wear out. It might be suitable for people who enjoy very delicate feminine pieces but also people who love a good strap, as there are lots of them! As the suspender belt hides the lower tummy you might like this if you prefer to keep that part hidden but are happy showing off the rest of your body.

Overall Rating: 8 out of 10 stars

Pros: Amount of options to adjust, comfort, gorgeous eyelash lace, choker style bra.

Cons: I’m not a fan of thongs in general, not all the lace lay flat.

Botom Line: Absolutely stunning three piece bra set.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Gosig, 14 Jan 2020
We-Vibe Chorus App and Remote Control Couple’s Vibrator

Game-changer

Managing an orgasm during penetrative sex has always been something that has alluded me. Yes, any woman can hold a toy to her clit during sex, but I have never been a huge fan of this, as I have always felt it detracted my attention from the intimacy I’m enjoying with my husband: an add-on, something else to focus my attention on, and therefore I have never been a massive fan of it. We have also tried various cock rings, but they have never really got me anywhere close to an actual orgasm. I had just resigned myself that, as much as I deeply enjoy sex with my husband, being brought to orgasm by sex itself was just always going to be very unlikely to happen.

Imagine then our delight to find a toy whereby this is no longer the case. I was initially very sceptical, looking at the shape and size of the toy that it would even be comfortable! But, a five minute quickie, in missionary position is now my cast-iron guaranteed route to back-arching, vocal, cramp-inducing bliss.

As you would expect from We-Vibe, it is a superior toy in terms of build quality: it’s soft, robust, and I expect it to last for a long time. Yes they are expensive, but the more toys I buy, the more I believe it is money well spent. As I’ve already mentioned, I was sceptical of the size of the toy and how comfortable it would be, both internal and external, but whoever designed it deserves a medal: large enough and broad enough to make it odds-on that it will touch all the right places, but not intrusively large, and certainly doesn’t feel like there is a hefty chunk of silicone between myself and my husband.

There is a degree of flex between the G-spot and clit portions of the toy, again allowing for careful, tailor-made positioning. Another indicator of the amount of thought that has gone into its production is the ability, via the App, to separately adapt the level of vibrations to each portion of the toy. A word of caution though: if you are having a play with the various functions post-orgasm, as we have done on many, many evenings, just check you haven’t accidentally turned one set of vibrations all the way down, as we did one evening. The following day was the only time I didn’t orgasm, and we didn’t realise at the time because you can feel some of the vibrations from the other end.

The tech side of the toy was, for us, the only downside. If you enjoy trying out different vibe patterns, and the thrill of handing over control to a partner via their phone, then you will disagree. I just don’t ‘get it’ with this toy: yes the vibrations are strong, but for me, what got me to orgasm was the movement of my husband whilst we had sex. If geographically separated, or out in public, this for me isn’t the kind of toy you can wear comfortably for discreet fun of that kind. The second aspect of this feeling like ‘tech for the sake of tech’ is the squeeze control. You have to change modes to be able to use this instead of the function buttons, and we did not find it anymore useful than it would have been, for instance, if they had just made the currently minuscule buttons on the remote massive and therefore clearly identifiable, by touch, as a ‘plus’ and ‘minus’ icon.

If you are going to play remotely, you need to ensure you have a good connection, 4G or reliable Wi-Fi: sounds obvious, but using this toy in our bedroom lead to continued connectivity cut-outs, but it worked without fault in our lounge, and the only difference was two, as opposed to three, bars of Wi-Fi signal strength. The person controlling via the second phone will also need to keep the App open, as it will cut out the connection after about thirty seconds if you close the App, so communicating only via the in-App messages is vital.

The App continually said that the battery for the toy was low, leading to concerns about how many times it would need charging, but this warning appears to be a bug rather than a fault. What is bizarre regarding batteries, however, is that the remote requires a coin battery, whereas the toy itself has its own snazzy, little, magnetic, recharging docking station. Given how much this toy costs, it struck me as a bizarre decision not to have both parts of the toy rechargeable. My advice: stock up on coin batteries, because you are entirely stuffed in terms of being able to do anything other than turn the toy on and off if the remote doesn’t work; the App and phone controls work via the remote, rather than the toy itself.

So, the tech side of this isn’t something we are particularly enamoured with on the basis that this just doesn’t seem necessary for a toy designed to be used, literally, between two people having sex.

Despite these grumbles, do I love it? Yes. Has it completely, unequivocally improved the enjoyment of a five minute missionary quickie? Yes. If I had to get rid of all but one of my toys, would this be the one I keep? Absolutely!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: The hither-to unachievable, hands-free orgasm during sex.

Cons: Tech for the sake of tech.

Bottom Line: Outstanding.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @BeeMine, 31 Jan 2020
Lovehoney Heart Pounder Silicone Dildo

Treat yourself to a little loving

I was sent this wonderful dildo to test drive by LH and it certainly lives up to its play-on-words name. The picture on the box showed the dildo as candy pink so I was rolling around laughing when I unwrapped it to find it’s actually neon pink. Much better in my opinion. The pink hearts are cleverly suspended in the clear silicone not just a pattern on the outside.

The silicone the dildo is made from is unlike any of my other silicone toys. They are generally firm or very firm. This is more medium-firm, flexible but springy and holds its shape. There are no veins, just a slight ridge down the back which helps keep it erect and a large head with an extra ridge below.

The girthy 7” length excludes the large suction cup so you’re only losing the half an inch for the small base. The suction cup is the best I’ve come across. I was literally wrestling with it to see if it would fall off my wooden bed leg but it held firm. A small tag shows you where to press on the side of the base to release it; an excellent design feature.

Whilst the suction cup and flexible shaft allow for easy harness or hands-free play, I prefer to hold a dildo. The Heart Pounder has a good weight to it without being overly heavy. I wondered if I would miss a veiny shaft but I didn’t at all. This dildo was made to pound with, as the give in the silicone allowed me to thrust as hard as I liked without injury but the curve in medium-firm shaft hit my sweet spots with enough force to send me swiftly over the edge, my heart pounding. The large head and extra ridge were all the stimulation I needed. I am genuinely in love with this delightful dildo.

If the Heart Pounder is released in time for Valentine’s Day then it’s a no-brainer, just buy it! Whoever your lover is they will appreciate this dildo’s talents… once the laughter has died down. No lover? No problem. Treat yourself to a little loving at any time of the year.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Medium-firm silicone; length and girth; large head and ridge; excellent suction cup; neon colour.

Cons: Nothing to dislike.

Bottom Line: A high-quality multi-purpose dildo with a fun look that’s sure to please.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Xialos, 23 Jan 2020
she-ology Wearable Silicone Vaginal Dilator Set

A game changer for sufferers of vaginismus

I was over the moon to discover that Lovehoney was planning to send me this wearable dilator set to test and review. Cheers, Lovehoney!

My product arrived swiftly in the usual discreet packaging that we all know and adore. I’ve ordered my fair share of naughty goodies from Lovehoney over the years and have yet to encounter a minuscule issue in this department. They never fail to include just the right amount of protective material. The reliability is a breath of fresh air.

Upon sliding the box of dilators out from the surrounding cardboard, I couldn’t help but quirk an approving eyebrow at the overall presentation. The attention to detail poured into the creation of this product was evident from the get-go. The lid is a magnetic flap and once lifted, a small customer information leaflet, brief dilation guide and set of five silicone dilators will be revealed. Flipping the box over, the rear side displays a row of photographs showing each dilator alongside captioned measurements. The box is sturdy and houses the dilators in such a smart manner that, despite being one to usually relocate my toys to satin bags, the layout and functionality please me amply enough that I intend to continue using it. As far as first impressions go, top marks were had!

This set of wearable dilators gradually progresses from the circumference of a pinky finger to a slim dildo. You will not experience any unpleasant jumps in size when transitioning from dilator to dilator - the girth of the tip follows from the girth of the previous dilator at its widest. Rest assured that everything is completely beginner-friendly. After conquering the initial three dilators, you’re treated with the opportunity to aid your treatment with vibration! Both bases of the largest dilators offer a hole spacious enough to fit a standard bullet vibrator. Discovering this bonus feature was a fabulous surprise but heed my word of warning: avoid pushing the bullet vibrator inside too deeply otherwise you WILL spend an eternity yanking the darn thing out again. I learned the hard way!

Barring the largest dilator with a striking red that sticks out like a sore thumb, the colour scheme of this wearable dilator set is a delicate pastel for an equally delicate purpose. The shades are almost watercolour-esque - it’s my jam!

Bizarrely, an aspect of this dilator set that I was awaiting with great pleasure was, simply, the material. My dilating journey has been entirely plastic until now and let me tell you, there is a world of difference. Slipping a cold and rigid plastic stick into your coochie is far from a desirable sensation and in my book, not conducive to the relaxed atmosphere that vaginismus demands. It rubs me wrong in more ways than one. This silky silicone, on the other hand, tickles me pink. Smooth as butter to the touch, it has an easier time gliding into me as a result. I do wish the flexibility was higher but that is a matter of personal preference. Different strokes for different folks.

Speaking of insertion, the affair is as straightforward as it realistically can be. Personally, I take a moment to gently tease my entrance with the tip of the lubricated dilator (make sure to use a thick coating of water-based lube) and ease it inside, bit by bit. Employing patience when handling a case of vaginismus is imperative; treat your vagina with kindness and it will repay you. Once the dilator is fully popped in, your vagina is likely to begin pushing it right back out. This is normal. I strongly recommend slipping one of your tighter pairs of underwear on just to keep the dilator in place.

In a nutshell, these are butt plugs for your vagina. In fact, I’m certain that you could safely repurpose them for anal use if that is what you desire. Owing to the generously flared bases, I feel 100% confident sitting down with a dilator from this set inside of my vagina which is an ENORMOUS relief. My worst nightmare is losing an object up there.

The gobs of time that standard dilation calls for has turned me off furthering my vaginismus treatment in the past. Being able to treat my condition on the go has enhanced my life.

The removal process must be approached carefully to prevent hurting yourself. Take your time pushing the dilator out with your vagina with the assistance of your hand. The ridged indentations circling the bases are very shallow so you can rest assured that cleaning will be a breeze.

To me, it’s obvious that she-ology has gone above and beyond in ensuring that the user will have nothing to feel intimidated by. What is little but a miserable chore for many women burdened with my condition no longer has to be so. I’m thrilled to report it. Needless to say, I love this product. All expectations were surpassed. The only attention my old dilators receive now is an occasional scowl when shuffling through my toy collection. 9/10.

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: Quality storage box. Premium silicone. Generously flared bases. Tapered tips. Relaxing colour scheme.

Cons: The silicone is rather firm. Easy to get bullet vibrators lodged inside the hollow dilators.

Bottom Line: This is the dilator set I have been waiting for.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @KatyKay, 12 Jan 2020
njoy Pure Wand Stainless Steel Dildo

Just had my first squirting orgasm

Okay I was reluctant to buy this item because in the past I have purchased G-spot/squirting toys with no success. I was curious about this one because of the comments being overwhelmingly positive. Despite the price, I purchased this toy two months ago and glad I did.

Now it didn’t get me squirting straight away so I agree with some other comments. Do not expect instant success. That may be for some but not everyone. The key is patience. Do not put this toy away after one use thinking it doesn’t work. It does.

The first time I used it I did not squirt and neither did I for several weeks but I continued to use it because I enjoyed the sensation it gave my G-spot. For that alone, it’s worth it. The bulbs and curve are designed for it to reach those hidden spots that other toys can’t. You simply rock it instead of thrusting.

I can say that yesterday for the first time it happened. I warmed myself up first by watching some porn. I used a clitoral vibrator first and when I was ready, I used this. Within minutes I could hear and feel my juices. When I looked down my bedsheets were soaked. Had I known, I’d have put a towel down, lol. Was it like those huge fountain squirts you see on videos? No, lol. That may be for some but for me, it was gushing and a release of liquid.

As for the toy itself, it is large but not too overpowering. It’s made from solid stainless steel so while it may be expensive, just know it will last you a lifetime. It’s well worth every penny.

The only downside is the weight. Your hand can get tired but the success of the toy is down to exactly that. When you are having that much fun with it, you get used to it. It’s easy to wash too. It is very cold so can run it under a tap if you wish. I prefer to use it cold. It reaches body temperature very quickly.

Bottom line, if you are contemplating getting it, just buy it - but take your time with it. Learn your body, get used to the sensations it brings you and when the time is right, you will have that experience without even realising it.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: G-spot pleasure.

Cons: Weight.

Bottom Line: An item that every man and woman should own.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Littlest_Red, 15 Feb 2020
Womanizer X Lovehoney Pro40 Rechargeable Clitoral Stimulator

Xs and so many Os

You can’t put a price on amazing orgasms… except you absolutely can because it’s whatever you spend on a Womaniser X LoveHoney Pro40! I know £100 sounds steep, but the quality of the product and intensity of the orgasms you’ll have makes it an absolute bargain as far as my clit and I are concerned!

The product comes beautifully packaged and the X-Pro40 itself is absolutely gorgeous to look at and hold. You can really feel the quality and there’s something deliciously decadent about knowing you’ve really invested in pleasure and luxury.

It’s rechargeable anyway, so if you’re an avid toy user and still unsure about the expense, just think about the money you’ll save on batteries (plus no more frustration when they start going flat!).

The toy fully charges in about an hour and half and lasts a good long while. I’m afraid I don’t know exactly how long as it’s hard to keep track of time when you’re having so much fun!

So how does it feel? The combination of suction and vibration makes it feel like a delicious hybrid of oral and vibe play. There are a number of different settings, so I’m sure pretty much everyone would be able to find something to suit. Personally I like to warm up with steady low intensity stimulation then switch to constant intense stimulation. This was easily achievable with the X-Pro40: I use the constant lowest speed setting for a few minutes then ramp it up a couple of notches till I orgasm. I don’t even need the highest setting on this toy, somewhere in the middle is perfect. I think this is a first with a vibe as I usually need the strongest setting to be able to cum. I like my vibrations deep/bassy (rather than high/buzzy like bullets), and holy hell does the X Pro 40 deliver on this front. If you’re a power queen you’re in for such a treat: the stimulation is so direct and intense.

Fun tip: it’s great for nipple stimulation too!

I’ve not used this during sex, but I can’t wait to try it in doggy style and scissoring positions with my husband.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Mind-blowing vibe/suction sensation, powerful orgasms, rechargeable, luxurious.

Cons: The fact that I didn’t own one sooner!

Bottom Line: Marriage material.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @SNixon, 16 Feb 2020
Vixen Mustang VixSkin Bright Dildo 7.5 Inch

A Beautiful Little Beast

Without a doubt, my favourite toy.

It’s been a while since I ordered from LH. After becoming single last July from a ten-year marriage I knew I didn’t want to fall headlong into a new relationship, so I decided to do some shopping.

Picked a few bits, which arrived and were great, but not quite what I wanted. I’d had my eye on this for a little while, but being on the expensive side, I kept taking it out of my basket.

I finally decided to spend the money and give the kids beans on toast for a month instead of wholesome, nutritious meals. Because, you know, a mum needs to spend some money on herself every now and again.

I was a little dubious about the reviews that mentioned that the toy is a little sticky when you first take it out. And it is. But not in a bad way. You’ll have to buy a pure cotton bag to put it in so that no fibres stick to it in storage, but other than that, it actually feels very similar to a real penis. It also has no smell to it, which is one of the things I hate about so many toys.

Like I said, my new favourite toy, to the point that it’s the only one that’s seen any action lately.

Why?

Because it’s very similar to a real penis - both in the way it feels, but also the size and shape. It has no fancy attachments or anything that buzzes, skips, does loop the loops or anything else like that. It is simply a very realistic dildo (if you ignore the neon colours, of course). It warms up inside of you. It hits your G-spot. It’s not ridiculously rigid. You can practise your BJ skills on it. It’s the perfect penis size for plain old anal play. You can take it in the bath or shower. The suction cup could be slightly better, but I rarely use it like that so not a major issue.

So, no. It doesn’t do anything fancy, but that’s exactly what I like about it. It’s average size, average shape, and while there are many toys I love, and I love to explore and experiment, I mostly like an average sized penis inside me doing it’s thing without all the fanfare. That’s exactly what I like in a sex toy - the ones that actually feel somewhat human and real, and not like a cyborg science experiment complete with artificial jizz.

So glad I bought this, but like I said, you’ll need to buy a bag alongside it to keep fibres from sticking to it.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Feels real and a great, average size.

Cons: Cheap packaging and could do with coming with its own bag for the price.

Bottom Line: My new best friend.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @NewtonBowie, 04 Feb 2020
Bondage Boutique Adjustable Stamina Cock Ring

Why did I wait so long?

I’ve toyed with the idea of a cock ring for a while but finally took the plunge with this beauty. I loved the bondage look of this one but was a little concerned that it might be a little fiddly to fit after reading some of the reviews. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I decided and put my order in.

The discreetly packaged parcel turned up a day later and I opened it with trepidation.

It did look a little small in the cold light of day, but I followed some advice I’d read and took a shower before trying it on.

It took a little wrestling to get the soft, faux leather strap around my balls, but I managed it without mishap. I was terrified I’d pinch myself when fastening it, but I had nothing to worry about in the end.

Like other reviews, I tried it on before becoming aroused and it was relatively simple.

As soon as it was on I felt a thrill and couldn’t resist taking a look in the mirror. That kicked things off and I soon had the biggest, thickest and firmest erection I’d had in a while. The heightened sensation made my knees weak as I indulged in a little solo play. Why on earth had I waited so long to buy one?

I highly recommend this cock ring if you’re interested in buying one. It looks and feels amazing and seems to be well-made. There are no bits that might irritate and it seems to safeguard against accidental “nippage”. And the sensations? Mind-blowing! I’m a convert and addict now.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Well made, perfectly fitted. Easily put on/removed. Creates fabulous sensations and an impressive sight.

Cons: Nothing at all.

Bottom Line: A delight to wear and behold. Just buy it!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @_nin, 14 Feb 2020
Lovehoney Red Crotchless Pearl Thong

Pearl Thong Poem

You cannot go wrong

With this crotchless pearl thong

It’s perfectly made

So it will be sold out before too long

Black, white or red

There’s pleasure ahead

But if you prefer boy shorts

Get those instead

Lacey and racy

Soft yet hot

The pressure of the pearls

Will hit the spot

Don’t miss the chance

To buy these cute pants

Cheap, cheerful and cheeky

And full of romance

Overall Rating: 8 out of 10 stars

Pros: Pearl movement.

Cons: Nil.

Bottom Line: Fun fun fun.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @readysteadygonads, 18 Mar 2020
njoy Pure Fun Stainless Steel P-Spot Butt Plug

Set the controls to the heart of the sun

This review is written from the perspective of a 60+ male undergoing successful hormonal treatment for a benign enlarged prostate with reduced sexual function as a permanent side effect. I am not one for being miserable but for a while I was - thoroughly. Then I discovered the subtle joys of prostate massage and eventually bought the uniquely original and utterly superb nJoy pFun Plug from Lovehoney.

The pFun Plug is made from a single piece of non-porous hypoallergenic surgical quality stainless steel, beautifully machined then hand polished to an absolutely perfect mirror finish. This fine instrument of sensual pleasure really is made to last a lifetime. Other than simple advice upon how to clean and keep it sterile, there are no user instructions included.

Well then, there is only one way to find out…

This is not your average ‘insert and forget’ passive butt plug, but something very interactively different. Shaped like a curved middle finger with a bulbous tip and a curved waist with leggy hips tapering down to a big oval handle that sits comfortably between your buttocks like a saddle on a rocking horse, I quickly learned to insert it facing backwards, with its anatomy matching curvature in a comfortably relaxed anal grip until everything warms up and settles in. I take my time, and when ready, grasp and rotate the handle so that the bulbous tip finally faces forward to gently press against the prostate through the rectal cavity wall.

With a slight squeeze of the sphincter muscles, the pFun Plug will begin to massage the prostate to progressively induce sensations ranging all the way from a screaming down the walls ejaculatory orgasm, to long hours of quietly riding on the edge of internalised whole body sexual ecstasy. After I have had enough, (and let’s face it - enough is never enough!) I flip the handle back over into reverse and either fall asleep or rest up awhile before doing it all over again.

The pFun Plug is omnisexual, and can be used by anyone with an anus or a vagina (or both!) for either ‘P’ spot massage or ‘G’ spot stimulation combined with double penetration. Its inherent gender neutrality makes it the perfect choice for transgender men and women who are looking for ways to rewire their internal sexual feelings.

This is a first-rate instrument of life-long infinite pleasure, and regardless of gender or sexual orientation, can be used and safely shared by anyone and everyone.

Highly recommended.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: A fine instrument.

Cons: Takes practice.

Bottom Line: Practice makes perfect.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Lise, 8 Mar 2020
Womanizer Starlet Rechargeable Clitoral Stimulator

Brace yourself

I have a fairly large collection of toys, but this is my first experience of one with clitoral suction. I had been celibate for several months and thought this might satisfy my desire for the feeling of oral sex, without all the effort of dating someone.

I had already read that it needed a couple of hours to charge so when it arrived I plugged it in, cooked some dinner, had a shower, and voilà, two hours had passed and my new toy was fully charged and ready to go.

To begin with, I thought that it wasn’t very powerful and didn’t feel as nice as having my clit licked. I was a little disappointed, but it had only been less than a minute so I decided to give it a fair chance and persevere. I changed the position of the device by rotating 180 degrees and I thought that feels a bit better. Then I switched it off as I didn’t think I was going to cum.

After a couple of minutes, I decided to give it another a go - I do find it hard to orgasm at times, and tend to use my favourite vibrator most of the time, so thought the new one deserved another go. Second time round I was getting into it more and it reminded me of the feeling of a carefully aimed jet of water from the shower, which is very pleasurable, but not the same as oral sex. I had another little rest then tried again (third time lucky). Then I moved it around again and hit the jackpot, I experienced the most intense orgasm ever, every muscle in my body convulsed, time stood still, and I was screaming, laughing and groaning all at the same time! After what felt like several minutes had passed I tried to get it off my clit but my arms and hands stopped working properly and it took a while, but that was fine.

After the delirious pleasure subsided, I realised that my thumb hurt (no idea why), and my left hip hurt - I guess maybe I trapped my sciatic nerve whilst all of my muscles tensed up and I was having orgasmic convulsions. Wouldn’t put me off using it again, but I will make sure I do proper warm-up stretches before using this next time.

If you buy this please make sure you do some stretches before using it, like you would when going for a run or something. If nothing much happens at first, take a little break and try again (and again). Stay hydrated and enjoy!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Ability to give me most intense orgasm ever.

Cons: Takes a while to charge.

Bottom Line: Amazing.