Review Hall of Fame

[Ian_Chimp]

by @pedestrian, 10 Jul 2011
Hannah Harper Sex Doll

Hannah is here to stay

Okay, so I didn’t have £729.99 for a Deluxe Teddy Babe Plush Doll, or $10,000 for one of those lifelike dolls from the USA, but I did have £169.99 and thought I would try Hannah.

I am giving real relationships a miss at present, preferring my own company and no complications. I wanted something more than a cheap sex doll (I did have one of those years ago), something that looked good - semi-realistic, I suppose - and Hannah really fits the bill.

She has a gorgeous face, eyelashes and thick blond hair. Her fantastic breasts are large and feel good to the touch, with soft nipples to stroke and squeeze. Her moulded hands and feet are quite realistic and can be held fairly easily. They are not totally rigid and there is some flexibility in the fingers.

Part of the whole doll experience for me is not just sex but the anticipation and build up to it. Put Hannah in a lacy bra (a 32DD fits very nicely), panties (size 8/10) and a pretty chemise or a tight, stretchy, short dress and leave her around the house, reclining on the settee, laying on the bed and you will see what I mean. Her hair is a little difficult to keep tangle-free, but tie it back with a scrunchie or use an Alice band to stop it falling across her face. She looks good!

Hannah’s moulded face looks very realistic but is a little hard and her lips do not give at all so kissing is not really entertaining. I deliberated for a long time about an open mouth but decided not to bother this time and I have no regrets so far. (Some dolls with open mouths look positively scary in pictures I have seen.)

Although Hannah cannot support herself on her arms or legs, moveable joints at the shoulder enable a variety of positions and more interaction. I am being careful with these joints as I don’t know how resilient they are and don’t want to damage them.

Hannah’s pussy and arse are realistic enough for me, but pretty tight and of the two her arse is easier to penetrate. The vibrator remote control can be unplugged from the cable and the cable stowed in a small cavity in the back of the doll - neat. The vibrator is quite loud and as I am a flat dweller, surrounded on all sides by others, I have not plucked up the courage to try it yet.

Hannah is a largish investment, but if you are looking for a quality doll, in terms of manufacture, styling, looks and design, she should not disappoint. A little bit of fantasy never hurt anyone and dressing her, cuddling her and going to sleep with arms wrapped around her body and breasts is a bit of fun when your life is not perhaps as exciting or fulfilling as it has been.

Oh, and the sex is great too!

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: Breasts, face and hair, breasts.

Cons: Nothing to dislike really.

Bottom Line: A quality doll for a reasonable price.

[Ian_Chimp]

@Darcey78, 07 Jul 2011
Danni Ashe’s 32FF CyberSkin Fantasy Boobs

A Good Toy For Breast Lovers

First of all – I cannot fault Lovehoney’s delivery service. Received an email at 5:00pm to say that the item had been despatched and at 9:00am the next day it arrived.

I was sceptical about this product as I had read mixed reviews about it. However, some points to bear in mind is that these were the first breast toys to be developed back in 2002 and it is now 2011. So time has allowed this product to improve as well as allowing other similar products to be made (Kimberley Williams 36DD, Jenna’s Perfect Pair and Bree Olsen 32D Boob Stroker). I remember seeing some old photos of the earlier version and it looked pretty basic and yellow coloured. However, the fact that there are only a few breast toys compared to the large number of pussy, mouth, foot and ass stroker toys now available does mean that this product may only appeal to a smaller customer group and that development of a more realistic toy may not be seen as economical.

As I like big boobs I was very happy with this item. The breasts have a certain jiggle to them (you can push and slap them together) and the nipples are pronounced and feel very realistic. It is sticky to the touch but when it has been washed and corn flour rubbed over it the skin becomes more skin coloured and very smooth. The nipples are coloured but this is subtle. Rubbing in the corn flour will certainly improve your breast stroking technique on a real pair lol. Also, the corn flour helps to cover the odour of the material, but hopefully the smell will go away forever after a time. Then again, with this much PleasureSkin the smell cannot really be prevented.

The breasts themselves are firm but are squeezable to a limit. If you are looking for a “natural” squeeze then this is more like squeezing fake breasts (silicone), but this depends on your preference.

The product itself is perfect to look at but as a sex toy it does require a lot of preparation. First, you need to be really hard to use it as it does take some pressure to push through the cleavage. Second, lube is essential but again a bit messy. Finally, I have only felt comfortable so far using it “cowgirl” by using the handgrips at the back and having it going up and down. Trying to use it “doggy style” feels awkward but maybe that’s just my technique.

All in all, a positive experience and an excellent toy for the big breast lover.

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: Good to look at and touch. Realistic nipples. Worth the money.

Cons: Not a toy for quick satisfaction. Slight odour.

Bottom Line: A good toy to touch and have in bed with you.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @languagemonkey, 07 Jul 2011
SI-X Type R Realistic Male Masturbator

SI-X appeal

As a reasonably seasoned fan of sleeves I wanted to give this one a run for its (eminently affordable) money. I’d already tried the Head Honcho - my first great sleeve experience - and a couple of others found locally in sex shops, so was interested to see how the comparison would shape up.

My first impressions on taking it out of the box were:

• its blackness makes it look dense and solid, but it’s actually extremely light, almost as if it were made of foam rubber;

• the entry hole is veeeerrry small; this turned out to be much less of a problem than I had imagined.

My single biggest gripe with the other sleeves I’ve tried is that they always seem to take a while to ‘warm up’ to me, as they start off almost painfully tight and only loosen up to a pleasurable level with use. When I saw the entry hole on the SI-X R I was concerned this would be the case here too, but I hadn’t bargained on the device’s incredible stretchiness. This thing could be the Elastogirl Fleshlight.

So… on to the sensations. Since I slid in without any problems I could get down to the serious business relatively quickly, and the softness of the material was just perfect. The “360° texture” seems to be a helical series of ridged bumps, like a little spiral of G-spots, and you can really feel them along the whole length of the shaft. As for the claim that it feels “exactly like intense anal sex”, well… it doesn’t. It does, however, feel so good that you really won’t care. I have yet to find a sex toy that replicates the sensations of anal sex with any degree of authenticity anyway. I didn’t actually read the instructions beforehand so I haven’t tried squeezing the “ejaculation chamber” for that pleasant suction with every thrust; that’ll be for next time.

Cleaning up is easy enough, once you realise it is actually a closed-chamber device. I saw the mould flash on the end of the chamber and thought it was a tiny hole, but no. I’d be a bit reticent about turning it inside out for cleaning but you don’t have to anyway - a good jet of warm water does the job just fine.

One more thing - the sachet of lube supplied with the device is a Japanese formula and, depending on what you’re used to using, it might be a LOT thicker than you’re expecting. I’m used to water-based lubes with the consistency of vegetable oil, but this was more like egg white. Worked a treat, though.

In short:

• soft yet firm material that stretches enough to accommodate even the more generously-endowed;

• interesting, stimulating texture;

• easy to use, easy to clean;

• just the thing when you can’t be bothered with all the faffing involved in getting the Fleshlight up to temperature by leaving it in hot water, etc. (which, for me, is most of the time);

• nice and cheap, almost as cheap as the one-use devices, but it looks pretty damned sturdy to me.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Very accommodating; lovely soft texture; can really feel the bumps.

Cons: Can’t fault it yet.

Bottom Line: Stimulates parts that some more expensive gadgets cannot reach.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Kinky_Bi_Guy, 13 Jul 2011
Monkey Rocker Hybrid Sex Machine

Amazing - a must buy

Great for beginners and even better for those more experienced!!!

The first thing that struck me about this product was how big, bulky and heavy it was! You really can’t get a good idea from the photos. That said, it was worth every penny. I know that £600 is a lot of money for a toy, but believe me it gives all your current dildos a new lease of life and the heavy weight is the trade-off for a sturdy and solid product.

I have NEVER had a better experience with a dildo!

I started slowly with a few small plugs just to get used to the action and within ten minutes I was onto the biggest toy I have!!! It feels comfortable to use and the action is silent, leaving you free to concentrate on enjoying yourself!!! I had my reservations about spending so much money on a sex toy but I can honestly say to anyone interested in the Monkey Rocker that if you buy this you will not be disappointed.

If you like deep thrusting toys this is for you! I loved the way you can set your own pace and depth and just work yourself gradually to orgasm. Your hands are free to do whatever you wish and I would imagine it would be fantastic with a partner as you could give oral sex at the same time, or they could even straddle you if you’re both athletic enough lol!

It works for both men and women. I tried to find some videos online before I bought the Monkey Rocker. I couldn’t find any videos with guys, however the women seemed to be having spine-tingling orgasms! You have my word for how well it works for guys!!! Put simply - amazing. The best anal fun I have ever had on my own!!!

If you have the money, buy this now! If you don’t have the money just start saving because you need this in your life!!!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Fantastic product - smooth action, sturdy, easy to use, my current dildos fit with ease.

Cons: Heavy, bulky and pricey!

Bottom Line: The best sex product I have ever purchased.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @roaminghands, 30 Jun 2011
Clone-A-Pussy Chocolate Female Moulding Kit

Chocolate double

The Clone-A-Pussy is brilliant fun, and actually a lot easier and simpler to use than the Clone-A-Willy. For a start, the moulding powder doesn’t need to be mixed with water at a particular temperature, just lukewarm. It does need to be used quickly, however, before it sets. We would recommend squatting over the mixture rather than standing to give a more open copy of your pussy. Also, the mixture doesn’t seem to trap or pull on any hairs once set so there is no pain in using this product whatsoever.

Once the mould has been made, warming the chocolate was simple and it set remarkably quickly - only five minutes in the freezer. We were slightly disappointed with the quality of the chocolate - it smells rather like chocolate dog treats and tastes more like chocolate-flavoured cake covering than actual chocolate. It is also crammed with palm oil - not ideal for any environmentally aware buyers. Despite this, we still enjoyed eating it but would buy nicer chocolate to refill the mould with.

The actual impression we got from it was freakishly lifelike, like a dark brown version of the real deal, complete with pores and every fold and crease. We would definitely reuse the mould - it was very sturdy and making multiple copies didn’t seem to affect its integrity. However, we live in a shared house and so didn’t fancy explaining the mould if found in the freezer, so we left it in a cool dark place. This was a mistake as only a couple of days later the mould had gone, err, mouldy, and so had to be thrown. So if you want to keep it, make sure you freeze it!

All in all, fantastic fun.

Overall Rating: 8 out of 10 stars

Pros: The end result - a perfect clone.

Cons: Cheap chocolate.

Bottom Line: Great fun.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @funky-pigeon, 30 Jun 2011
Pink Lady Stamina Training Unit Fleshlight

Regardless of relationship status - you need one of these

I have been contemplating getting one of these for quite a while and finally decided to go for it. I received my STU an impressive 19 hours after clicking on the order button (Royal Mail special delivery but worth the extra few quid).

I unpacked it and was pleasantly surprised at how soft and realistic the material feels. It’s really easy to use. Just heat it up in hot water for about 10 minutes and apply a generous amount of lube but not too much and plug away.

When you insert your cock into it, it feels like the real deal, actually almost better than some girlfriends I’ve had. It is really tight but soft as velvet so not uncomfortable and so it hugs your penis very nicely indeed. If you leave the suction on full it makes some really nice slurping noises as well as you penetrate it. When you’re done just rinse water through it and towel dry it or allow it to air dry.

I’m sure some of you are wondering what makes the STU unique and how it actually works and makes you last longer?

Well, despite all the bumps inside it actually feels really smooth when you first penetrate it, but when you get close to climaxing and the head of your cock swells you can really feel the bumps massaging you. So the idea is that when you start to feel the bumps you are close to blowing your load, so you can establish your threshold and wind down again before you start again, therefore helping you to last longer.

It’s so intense, though, that eventually you can’t take it any more. First time I used it I only lasted 5 minutes, despite having lots of previous sexual experience. It is so intense that I also managed to finish a second time after a further 20 minutes. It was one of the most pleasant and satisfying orgasms I have ever had. A wave of pleasure swept my body and my knees were trembling for half an hour afterwards.

Let’s face it, no sex toy can ever emulate the experience of having sex with a real woman, but this feels just as good. Your penis can’t tell the difference even if your brain can!

Thank you Mr. right hand for all your hard work but you are no longer needed. Worth every last penny.

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: Feels just as good as the real thing.

Cons: What’s not to like? Only thing is you have to clean the mess up afterwards.

Bottom Line: Are you single? Married? In a relationship? Doesn’t matter, you need one of these!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @cheer_up, 24 Aug 2011
Durex Play O Female Orgasm Gel 15m

He Walked Into A Door, Doctor…

I’m writing this review from the confines of a prison cell, hoping my boyfriend doesn’t press charges. I’ll explain in a second.

The gel comes in a little cardboard box with a little booklet that explains all about orgasms (how I survived unaware that 32% women don’t orgasm regularly, I just don’t know, thank you, Durex) and the gel itself.

This teeny, tiny bottle will probably make you foam at the mouth with rage, considering what you will probably have paid for it. But be of good cheer, my friends, for this teeny tiny bottle will last you for the next millennium. You literally need a TINY amount in order to trip the light fantastic. The guidelines recommend a ‘pea-sized amount’ but that was too much for me.

Ooh, by the way, the bottle comes with a detached dispenser cap and a screw-top lid. This helps keep things clean if you need to store it away, which if you’re like me and have dumped a load of stuff in your handbag on top of a bottle of lube and got it EVERYWHERE (because I’m a genius like that) is officially a Very Good Idea.

So onto actual performance. My OH lovingly applied some to my ladybits and within a couple of seconds I could feel the effects. It’s a decidedly odd but not unpleasant feeling. It sounds dreadful but the thing I’d liken it to it is when you grab something insanely hot and it feels cold and tingly for the millisecond before it starts hurting. Not that this stuff burns at all. I have very sensitive skin and have had run-ins with Burny Satan Spawn (Durex Tingle, in case you’re wondering) and this stuff is really gentle. It really is cool-yet-warm and feels very very nice.

And then the main question: does it enhance orgasms? Well… When my climax arrived it did so with such unexpected force that my stomach muscles contracted, sending my upper body flying upwards and causing me to violently head butt my boyfriend in the face and send him tumbling off the bed.

Luckily, he’s a hardy little creature and I didn’t leave any bruises, but please be aware that if your partner isn’t as understanding as mine you may need to enter pleas of temporary insanity at a later date.

This stuff is worth every penny. When our bottle runs out we’ll definitely be ordering more because it is THAT GOOD. Just try it. I promise you will not regret it.

PS. Just in case you lads were wondering, my OH didn’t really feel any effect when we put some on him. Sorry!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: What’s not to like?!

Cons: My boyfriend might be suing me for GBH.

Bottom Line: A brilliantly effective little gel. Does exactly what it says on the tin.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Patchie233, 16 Aug 2011
Vibrating Rock Chick G-Spot and Clitoral Vibrator

One for the ladies

It’s called the Rock Chick. It’s a cute, soft, silicone number with a power packed little RO-80 mm Bullet and is shaped to hit both your spots. So whether you’re a clitoris kinda girl, a G-spot kinda girl, or both, you are most definitely covered.

It’s got a soft ergonomic design that isn’t trying to mirror a penis in anyway, so it’s completely non-threatening in the bedroom.

But here’s the fun part.

This little lady has a new, unique design. It’s an odd ‘V’ shape. One end has a slight tip to it. This is the part designed to find your G-spot pretty much instantly and massage away for you. The other is lined with nodules that are meant to lie flat against the clitoris and carry the vibrations from the powerful bullet all the way along your most sensitive bits.

The idea of this little beauty is that it’s hands-free. Because it’s designed for ‘rocking’, whether you are sat on the edge of the bed, laying on your front or on your back, you are in control and can twist, grind, massage, whatever works for you, until you have a handful of duvet in each hand. Now you’re having fun.

I personally was a bit anxious at first. This is the first toy I’ve introduced into my bedroom in a few years and my previous experiences hadn’t been that earth-shattering at all.

Admittedly the first use it took a while to find a position that worked for me. It was enjoyable to begin with, however, remembering advice I’d read in reviews I shifted into a new position and this little beauty proved me very wrong. The trick is that you are required to put a little effort in. Rock away, just like you would if you were with a partner. I ended up putting a pillow in-between my legs and rocking as if I were having doggy style sex and that worked for me.

With the Rock Chick it’s your input that counts and once you realise that you have a lot of fun times ahead of you. (I’m just wondering how many calories a pelvis-thrusting session with this little genius will burn. Screw squats!).

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: Doesn’t imitate a penis. Hit two spots at once. Feminine, different, fun.

Cons: Nothing, amazing toy. Will try a higher power bullet, although included one is purrrfect!

Bottom Line: This is an incredible, innovative toy, perfect for every woman!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Beaufighter, 06 Aug 2011
Lust Buster Pump

Wow

Well, I don’t know about Lust BUSTER, more like Lust LIFT-OFF!

Had mine just a few days and the benefits are showing already. I’m taking medications for high blood pressure and they have an unwanted side effect - droop! Began to think that the good days had gone - but not any more.

I admit that I’d never thought about a pump after all the jokes (Austin Powers for example) but browsed the Lovehoney site and thought, “best-seller, good reviews, try it”. Glad I did.

Yes, it looks imposing, and I wish there were instructions on the recommended way to clean it (forgive the comment, but for safety I used a condom), but from the first the sensations WITHOUT the vibrator were like old times and the effects were remarkable.

I don’t know or care if the effect is partially psychological or not - all I know is I can now look forwards - instead of remembering how things were.

Gentlemen, if you’ve had problems due to blood-pressure treatment - order this now and enjoy life again!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Quality of materials.

Cons: Lack of information about cleaning.

Bottom Line: Great.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Fairy_Nuff, 25 Aug 2011
Lovehoney Silencer 2.0 Whisper Quiet Waterproof Vibrator

Might just have saved my marriage

Honestly, this vibrator may have saved my marriage.

Hubby has ED as a result of various medical conditions which means it’s been a long time since we’ve managed penetrative sex. So, being desperate, I started looking for a cheap and cheerful vibrator to try. This is my first sex toy.

It came sensitively parcelled but I was out when it arrived and had to go to the sorting office to collect it. They couldn’t find the parcel at first and asked if I knew what I was expecting! What was I supposed to say to that?

Anyway, I got it home and couldn’t wait to try it. I wanted to make sure I would be okay with it before introducing it to hubby.

It’s so easy to use. I inserted the batteries and played with the control (a simple twist at the base) to see what the vibrations were like. There’s a really good range from “ticklish” to truly earth-shaking. Then I experimented with it internally. I could feel all my tension and pent up frustration melting away immediately.

After a while I decided to experiment with the tip on my clit. Honestly, I have never experienced such an amazing orgasm and it couldn’t have taken two minutes to reach climax.

Now I can get what I need without feeling I have to look outside our marriage.

Thank you Lovehoney.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: It looks big but is actually about the same breadth as hubby.

Cons: Not a fan of bright pink, but I didn’t buy it to look at!

Bottom Line: Excellent introductory sex toy.

[Ian_Chimp]

@MJS, 12 Aug 2011
Cock and Ball Triple Ring Set

WOW - the best erection I have had in years

Well, this little product did the job nicely!

At least one of the three sizes should fit most guys, and the important thing is that whichever one you use is not too tight or too loose. I have used another product before and found it uncomfortable and ended up slightly bruised, but this is perfect.

You really don’t notice you are wearing it - but you certainly notice the effect!! My erections are HARD from head to base. I have tried this alone when masturbating and with a partner - it never fails to do its job.

Like all things, SENSIBLE use will provide hours of pleasure, but don’t be tempted to wear it too much or you could do yourself serious damage. Read the instructions!

Overall, highly recommended - especially if you are of a ‘certain age’ where things don’t happen as naturally as they used to!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Easy on and comfortable.

Cons: Nothing.

Bottom Line: Well worth a few quid for endless pleasure.

[Ian_Chimp]

@Camilla, 12 Aug 2011
Tingletip Electirc Toothbrush Clitoral Stimulator

Unfortunately, this review is unavailable

[Ian_Chimp]

by @BashfulBabe, 02 Oct 2011
Liquid Silk Lube 50ml (250ml)

Real Smoothie

When it comes to lubes I’m a bit of a fuddy-duddy, averse to change and scared of new things. I’ve had a lot of skin problems and have experienced too many rashes, burns and general nether-horrors thanks to lubes with unfavourable ingredients. So, despite pretty much every single person I’ve heard talk about such things ranking Liquid Silk as the foremost fornication facilitator, I have hummed and hawed and never actually gone for it. The size of this bottle - and the price! - makes it ideal for someone who, like me, is loathe to trust the hundreds of satisfied users and give it a lash.

The bottle is simple, small, and fairly self-explanatory: you pop the flip-lid, squidge out a dollop, and hope you don’t need any further instruction. It’s not immediately obvious it’s a lube so you could pop it in a handbag or on your nightstand as long as no one’s going to be inspecting your bits and bobs (unless they also intend to inspect your other bits and bobs!). Portable, discreet, and doesn’t leak. Can’t fault that!

The lube itself really does feel a lot different to most others I’ve tried. It’s almost like a face cream and feels kind of greasy-oily when you first squeeze it out, although it doesn’t leave you feeling like you’ve dropped a bat of butter between your thighs, which was my first concern. A little really does go a long way and it takes quite a while to dry up so avoid the temptation to think it’s thinner than it is, go nuts, and wind up having to take a mop to your nether regions!

I still prefer the silicone for anal, but this isn’t all that far off the same level of good, so a definite alternative for when silicone toys might be in the equation, or when my giant, leaky bottle of silicone won’t quite make the journey. There’s no real smell to it, and no sticky residue, which really are the two main failing of most lubes. At worst, a quick wipe after and you’re good to go.

I love it. It lasts so long and needs so little that the titchy bottle isn’t even nearly empty yet. Handy, as the last lube I latched onto no longer exists and my stash is just about depleted, so I’m glad I’ve found one that’s even better!

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Long-lasting, doesn’t irritate me, and no horrid residue. Bottle’s nifty too.

Cons: Nothing, really. I hate not giving a negative but can’t find a thing.

Bottom Line: Perfect. There’s no downside to trying this, especially at this size and price!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Imogen, Sep 2011
Tracey Cox Supersex Sensation Stroker

Very good toy for the money

I can’t comment on any solo use this may have had, but I am going to review what it was like to use this toy together. I bought this to surprise my partner after I noticed him looking at it a while ago. He’s been curious about toys for a while and mentioned Fleshlights a few times, but since they are quite expensive I thought this would be a good place to start and to be honest I think the Fleshlight idea has been forgotten about now!

Okay, so first things first. It comes packaged in the typical plastic case, which although quite bulky we are now using it to store the Stroker. I think if it was left loose in our toybox it would very quickly acquire a layer of fluff from the few lingerie items that are also kept in there. It’s that kind of material that all fluff/hair etc sticks to really easily so best to store it in the plastic packaging.

When we took it out of the packet we were pleasantly surprised by how flexible it was. The material is very soft and stretchy, which makes the sensations great but unfortunately means it’s a bit delicate. After just the first use I noticed that it already had a couple of little scratches taken out of it, presumably from my fingernails, so I think I’ll need to be very careful with the way I handle it in the future. It has a slight plastic smell but it’s not too bad and I’m sure that will go away once it’s been used and washed a few more times.

The hole for insertion looked very small and I was slightly concerned that it might not be comfortable for my partner as he’s fairly large, but the material is so stretchy that it slid on with no difficulty once lubed up. I think this toy would easily accommodate men who are very large, despite how small it looks!

Once on, it was mostly very easy to use exactly as described in the product description and my partner loved the sensations of the different textures inside the Stroker. The only issue I had as the person handling the toy was that if there was any lube at all left on my hands it tended to slide out of my grip and come off quite easily, but this was remedied with a quick wash of the hands.

After use this toy was very easy to clean under running water as it stretches enough to clean the inside properly, but did have to be left sitting out to dry for a while as anything like towels would leave fluff stuck all over it.

All in all, I’d recommend this for those who want to experiment with male sex toys but are on a bit of a budget. It’s certainly a great toy and great value for money.

Overall Rating: 8 out of 10 stars

Pros: Easy to use, great toy for a low price.

Cons: Slight rubbery smell and sometimes a little difficult to control once lubed up.

Bottom Line: Overall a very good toy for the money, my partner loved it.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @DreamsOfChi, 28 Aug 2011
Manrammer Sword Dildo with Handle

O_o

There’s no messing about with this dildo. It’s massive! I’ve taken to keeping it right under my bed - not to pleasure myself at a moment’s notice but in case we get an intruder. One whack round the head with this and they’d be no more trouble!

My partner saw one of these in a sex shop on holiday but we didn’t dare bring it back through customs so when we got home we ordered from Lovehoney. He liked the idea of the handle (yes, he has pretended it’s a lightsaber!) and, of course, the size.

Its realistic look, colour and feel is a bit at odds with the, totally unrealistic (being as penises don’t usually have them) handle grip at the bottom, but no matter - it still does the job more than adequately.

You need lube, though, a LOT of lube, and a bit of patience and maybe gritted teeth, but it is very much worth it. The feeling of being filled up is great and, even though we only used half the length, my partner enjoyed wielding his new weapon. It is a bit ‘floppy’ but that doesn’t render it any less useable or useful.

Not for the faint-hearted but a bone-shaking orgasm awaits those that dare accept the challenge.

Overall Rating: 6 out of 10 stars

Pour: The size.

Cons: Maybe a bit too long.

Bottom Line: Big and beautiful but you’ve got to be brave!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Vixxytoi, 15 Sep 2011
Bondage Boutique Tie & Tease Bundle

Loving the kink!

Me and my boyfriend had been dabbling in the light S & M scene for a while now, using scarves to tie to the bed, buying handcuffs from a different adult shop to try them… even using my wide paddle hairbrush as a spank paddle (LOL).

We’d been meaning to buy some of the items in this kit for quite a while. Needless to say, when I saw this kit on Lovehoney for only £40, I had to get it! Obviously, I had to ask permission, being the sub and all…

After ordering, it came the very next day which was awesome! We ripped it open and couldn’t wait to try everything out. It’s been just over a week now and I think I’ve thoroughly worked each item!

Okay first, the shibari rope. First impressions were that it’s very soft, and very, very strong. Which surprised me, really, as it was quite thin. As of yet… No rope burns!

Another item that surprised me were the wrist restraints. Despite their appearance, they can withstand a lot of struggle. This is good as the aforementioned handcuffs from another site broke the first time I used them, weak links. So these are absolutely great. Also, like the rope, no marks are left with these. I guess the wideness of the material evens the force over your wrist.

The spank paddle! Amazing, amazing, I love it. My favourite item of the bunch. I’m so glad I got it! And with the Bondage Boutique loyalty card, I’m hoping to rack up 15 more stickers so I can get two more free ones. This paddle leaves some lovely marks, believe you me.

Hmm… the blindfold. Don’t really think much of it, to be fair. I mean, it serves its purpose, I blindfolded the boyfriend and teased him with the feather wand thing. My only fault is that, being faux fur on the outside and whatever it is on the inside, it gets kind of warm underneath. Not too much of a problem though when all of you is hot.

The flogger is pretty sound, it’s good for teasing with light hits anywhere on the body (especially nipples!). But if you’re looking for a Cat o’ Nine Tails effect with this, like harsh marks and pain and la di da, this isn’t the one for you. Even with a full swing, this doesn’t do a whole lot. (Yes we tested each to their limits.)

I could probably have done without the feather tickler, having already bought one for a maid costume a while ago, but I shall review this one anyway! First impression was that it was a little cheap. When I took it out of the bag, some of the feathers stayed in the bag. Also, when ‘testing’ a few more of the feathers came off. I mean, it’s pretty with the purple and white stick, and when blindfolded, the sensations are, well, sensational! So it is quite good, still!

Last, but certainly not least, the ball gag. Now, I’ve wondered about these things for a while, and wasn’t too sure about whether I wanted to go this far into the dark side of S & M. But I’m glad I tried it anyway! This is a good way of enforcing power over your sub, if that’s what you’re into. I like the way it fastens at the back like a collar, it’s very strong. The little holes throughout it are good too if you have a blocked nose, lol. Which I actually did. Two issues with it though are, funnily enough, the holes in the ball and the straps. Sometimes, if you take a deep breath in, the ball sort of whistles? Which is a little off putting and kills the mood only slightly. And the straps around the ball sort of pinch a little at the corner of your mouth, but only really if the strap at the back slips down your head. Overall, love it

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: The paddle is epic. But almost everything is great quality!

Cons: The quality of the feather duster and the ball gag pinching a bit.

Bottom Line: A great first kit for anyone wanting to indulge in their urges!

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Tupperwareheart, 20 Sep 2011
njoy Pure Wand Stainless Steel Dildo

Work Of Art

This has to be the most luxurious thing I own, it immediately became my favourite addition to the toybox. Having been experimenting lately with ceramic and glass dildos, I found them to be much more satisfying than vibrators and so the Pure Wand became my most lusted-after product.

Packaging:

Oh, wow. Such a vision of beauty. When your Pure Wand arrives it has a white cardboard sleeve with the branding ‘Njoy pure/fun’ stamped on it. There is a tiny sticker on the edge of the box with Pure Wand written on it with a minute picture but it’s barely noticeable at all and on the whole it’s a very discreet cover.

Remove the sleeve and you’ll have a black box, again with the same branding on the front. You can already feel the quality, the box is super sturdy, well made and thoroughly discreet.

Flip the top open and you’ll be greeted by a lush pink fabric bedding, where the Njoy is safely nestled. I haven’t disassembled mine, but it feels as though the Pure Wand is resting on a bed of polystyrene.

The packaging of this toy is more luxurious than most jewellery boxes I’ve seen and I cannot imagine a better gift to receive - this is absolutely perfect to give to someone and make them feel truly pampered.

Appearance:

An absolute work of art.

9 inches of the very finest medical grade stainless steel arch up into a perfect curve, made just for the G spot or the P spot. I can’t speak for the P spot (no way will I surrender this long enough for OH to have a go – he’ll have to get his own!) but when it comes to G spots, this baby was made to hit it every single time.

If you’re coming (literally) to the Pure Wand straight from more standard G spot vibrators you might find its appearance a little disconcerting. Even though I’m all for glass and ceramic dildos, this one definitely baffled me a bit. It looks more like an oversized belly bar or something you’d find in a plumber’s tool-kit than a pleasure object. But on the other hand, that has its advantages – I think this toy would be quite safe to be left out on the side without people knowing what it was, if you were so inclined.

This toy has two balls on either end, one measuring 1 inch and the other 1.5” and it gets thicker as it tapers to the bigger end. Personally the smaller end is more than satisfying for me, but if you prefer a little more girth or intend to use it for anal play, you might find the bigger end better suited to your needs. Either way, the Pure Wand has something for everyone.

This toy is hand polished and has a magnificent shine to it, which really adds to the feel of luxury when you look at it. What I love most about it is that due to it being stainless steel, it’s non porous and very easy to clean (as long as you don’t use anything harsh or abrasive, because then you’ll lose the shine!) which is something that always appeals to me and is why I tend to opt for this material over silicone or similar. Plus, it’s designed to be heated up or cooled down, adding another dimension to play-time.

Due to its unusual design, the dildo isn’t in any way phallic shaped so is perfectly suited to those who don’t like their toys too ‘obvious’ looking, or people wanting to bring it out to play with a partner who isn’t keen on realistic shaped toys. Equally if you just like your toys to look stylish or different, this is for you!

Ease of Use:

The one downfall of the Pure Wand is how insanely heavy it is. Truly, it has to be felt to be believed but in order to give you some idea, I went round my room ‘Blue Peter’ style and tried to find something that felt a similar weight. A 500ml bottle of water felt slightly lighter than the Pure Wand and I have heard others say it weighs around the 24 ounce mark. Now, this doesn’t sound a lot but in the heat of the moment, it is! If you have any kind of disability that causes you to have weak wrists, or you’re just not that gifted with upper arm strength – you will struggle with this. My partner can just about hold this for me, but due to its heaviness it’s very hard to keep in the precise spot you want it in and it can slip right away from you which can be very frustrating.

The simple fact that this is a dildo rather than a vibrator makes it a thousand times easier to use – no pesky hunts around the room for batteries, or chargers for rechargeable units, the Pure Wand is ready to go when you are. Obviously it’s silent too!

The ease of cleaning needs to be mentioned again here. Its smooth, durable surface means that a rinse with water under the tap will remove any lube marks left behind. Soap and water, sex toy cleaner or wipes give a more thorough clean and more reassurance for people sharing toys/switching from vaginal to anal play.

What’s it like?

Phenomenal.

Nothing finds my G spot quite like this, it feels like it intuitively knows exactly where it is. Not that I’m implying Njoy have designed it with some kind of honing device, but it certainly knows where the pleasure’s at. At one point I had tears in my eyes, it was pure, mind blowing bliss.

I have mixed feelings on the weight of the toy, I’ve already explained my feelings on the ease of use but here’s the pros and cons when its in action:

The weight adds a certain kind of pressure you just don’t find with other toys. You only need to gently press it against your G spot with the slightest touch for it to feel incredible, and equally the slightest movement or change in pressure heightens sensations tenfold. I always found plastic and silicone toys too hard or sharp, and yet somehow too light to really feel ‘just right’ and this is where the Pure Wand gives you a completely different experience – it’s firm but smooth, gentle yet precise and with just the right weight behind it to feel sensational.

On the other hand, the heaviness is an issue. Your wrist soon tires of having to hold it; I was having to support the toy with both hands and had to stop a lot. Obviously having to stop in the heat of the moment isn’t in any way conducive to orgasms! Even my partner had to give up occasionally, finding having to support the weight and direct it to where I wanted it just too difficult to manage. Also it causes the dildo to slip around easily, and it’s quite likely to move from the position you try to keep it in.

Final Thoughts:

In my opinion, this is one of the best toys for G spot stimulation out there – I certainly favour it above any of the others I’ve tried. It feels utterly mind blowing, a very satisfying toy but due to some issues with needing to stop to move the position/juggle the weight it might not be as easy to squirt with.

If you have already experienced the joys of glass and ceramic toys, this is the obvious choice for a luxury treat – it has all the things to love about glass/ceramic but offers so much more. Or if you’re just wanting to explore your G spot and perhaps aren’t having as much luck with the vibrating choices, this could be exactly what you need.

Overall, the Njoy Pure Wand has its plus and minus points but is still the very best toy I own – worth every single penny.

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: The shape, the material, the packaging

Cons: The weight!

Bottom Line: A masterpiece, fabulous g spot toy but with a flaw.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Ferret, 28 Aug 2011
Three Extra Inches Penis Extender Sleeve

Absolute transformer for both of us

I had been having trouble bring wifey to orgasm and I suspected she was probably faking them when she apparently did. One day I found a hidden box of hers containing a small collection of toys that included a couple of large dildos, 9" or 10" and over 2" thick: certainly a lot bigger than my cock. She obviously did not want me to see them in case in case it might make me feel inadequate. I realised that she needs deep penetration to satisfy her. I kept quiet about this find. Rather than be put off it intrigued me and after some www research I found this beauty and bought one.

I decided to surprise wifely so I secretly put the sleeve on under some very loose trousers then blindfolded her. After a long foreplay session and lots of KY I put her in doggy and began to enter my enhanced member into her. This is the first time I heard her gasp then screamed “What the ****?” before urging me to carry on. To my astonishment she accommodated it all and after some moments there was loud groaning which I never heard from her before. I stopped but she assured me that it not due to pain but pleasure. I felt a huge boost to my ego. After several minutes she thrashed about and orgasmed very noisily, causing her Kegels to violently grip and make me cum as well.

I was amazed that the sleeve did nothing to hinder my pleasure: I enjoyed the feeling of filling her and feeling her Kegels respond. Whilst screwing with the sleeve on, sensations are felt along with a gentle sucking sensation in between thrusts. With wifely on top she was completely transformed into something wild and possessed, I just love to see, feel and hear her cum!

The outcome of this is that we use sleeve often as we both love it. Since I now make her cum every time she happily performs selfless favours for me such as finishing me off orally or allowing me to experience her heavenly tight ass on occasion (not with the sleeve, that would be too much).

We have changed from making love 1 or 2 times per month to 4 or 5 a week, sometimes more. We talk about sex a lot more and brought out her hidden toy box - I love to see her enjoy herself with the 10-incher. Another great thing is that the sleeve is slightly rigid as well as flexible so I can keep going even if my dick becomes a little soft after ejaculation.

Hints and tips for use:

Cut off ball grabber.

Get used to putting it on before using it for the first time. Put only a little KY on semi-hard penis and slide it on. Expel as much of the trapped air possible.

Do lots of foreplay before penetration.

Use plenty of KY on vagina and outside of sleeve.

Be gentle to start with.

Overall Rating: 10 out of 10 stars

Pros: Ego swelling, Wife now orgasms regularly.

Cons: Nothing.

Bottom Line: Great reviver of sex life.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @Soooze2, 19 October 2011
Eroscillator 2 Top Deluxe

Versatile, adaptable and reliable work horse

Firstly this really is a considered purchase but I’m so glad I made the plunge. I have several sex toys that I use solo and with my husband and we’re comfortable using them but following major gynaecological surgery my body stopped responding to stimulus in the way it used to. I was thankful that I could still achieve orgasm as many women lose this sensation but unfortunately I became very hard work and really struggled to become physically aroused. I tried the toys we already had and plenty of lube but it just wasn’t making me feel sexy. I heard about the Eroscillator and asked another user but still wasn’t convinced it was what I needed, yet there was nothing else I could think of so 15 months ago I made the purchase.

It arrived. Lovely packaging and the robust build coupled with the price tag made me feel special and privileged to own it. After reading the literature and watching the DVD I set to work.

I enjoyed the sensations and became very wet and turned on (which was the desired result) but failed to orgasm. I was not put off as I knew it was early days and I could use it at my leisure and try out all the speeds and attachments.

Quite soon I was getting incredibly deep intense gushing orgasms, not too hard that they’re out of control but deep and prolonged enough thoroughly enjoy.

At first my favourite head was the grape-like one as this was the only one that really worked and didn’t annoy me, but over the months I have (albeit sporadically) tested them all and can have a current favourite at different times.

A few months ago it was the attachment with bristles that floated my boat. The gentle sensation of oscillating lubed up whiskers all over followed with the rigid tip against the clitoris was a delight. Most recently the curved beaded attachment is the head of choice as it will gently lie next to you radiating sensations, and a slight change in pressure pushing the largest bead against the right spot will bring the unique deep, rewarding orgasm that this toy is quite famous for.

The Eroscillator is several toys in one. The 5 attachments give 8 heads as 3 of them have different sides. I really feel it is almost like having a new toy each time as the oscillation really makes each head so different in a way multi-headed vibrators never can.

The build is an exceptional quality and product is relatively easy to use. I would prefer a much quieter toy and the noise level is a little different depending on the attachment used. Lubricant is key to delivering those wonderful sensations so don’t skimp on it.

I would repurchase without hesitating should mine break and only wish I had bought one many years ago.

I would recommend to anyone. Even if it isn’t the perfect toy for you it is so unique in its sensations you can at least say you tried one. I think it deserves cult status.

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10 stars

Pros: Effective results and muliple heads giving varying sensations.

Cons: Noisier than I’d hoped.

Bottom Line: Ultimate bedside companion.

[Ian_Chimp]

by @niftyb, 15 Oct 2011
Death by Orgasm Vampire Bride 10 Speed Bullet Vibrator

Here comes the bride

I’m going to confess… I’m a serial killer.

Every time I buy a bullet which takes LR44 size batteries (the really tiny ones) it’s mysteriously died on me for no apparent reason… looks innocent Only N battery bullets seem to survive my ownership… So when I saw the Vampire bride, sporting 10 functions and 2 N sized batteries I was SO excited!

Having previously owned, adored (and inevitably killed) the Death By Orgasm Scorpion Bullet, I knew that the promised 10 speed function would not fail to deliver.

A bright red shiny casing, and comes presented in a hinged coffin-shaped tin complete with red lining housing the bullet and keeping it in place. The underside of the coffin tells you that the bullet comes with “BAT-teries included” and is “holy waterproof”. I love it when companies take the time to add these fun little touches.

The vibe itself is very powerful, which you’d expect running on not one but two N sized batteries. The downside of all that power though is that it’s one of the loudest bullet vibes I’ve ever tried… definitely not for those who live in shared housing or with parents!

However if you can match your playtime carefully with the spin cycle of your washing machine so your neighbours won’t overhear, you’re in for a very good time. The 10 speeds are excellent, the first three being the usual mild, medium, intense vibrations - followed by a great variety of other functions (my favourite being number 9, which is nice and random!).

Another nice feature of this bullet is that it’s about twice the length of the others in the Death By Orgasm range - giving you more to play with.

With its (dare I say?) cute packaging this would make a great gift (or Halloween treat for you!). I’d highly recommend any bullet from the Death By Orgasm range, but this new model is especially recommended due to the style, size and reliability of the batteries it uses.

Overall Rating: 8 out of 10 stars

Pros: Stylish, powerful, sturdy and… shiny!

Cons: Could quite easily wake the dead…

Bottom Line: A great buy if you don’t mind the noise…