Ok an interesting situation, is it possible to become so insanely desperate for sexual contact that you can consider sex with anyone male or female even though you are 100% straight.
Im a guy and today I was thinking this very thing. I have no physical attraction to men at all but today I would have had sex with anyone male or female.
Im scared I have become so starved of sexual contact that im going a little mad!
AzureKatte wrote:
Ok an interesting situation, is it possible to become so insanely desperate for sexual contact that you can consider sex with anyone male or female even though you are 100% straight.
Im a guy and today I was thinking this very thing. I have no physical attraction to men at all but today I would have had sex with anyone male or female.
Im scared I have become so starved of sexual contact that im going a little mad!
My personal opinion is that what you're really starved of is safe comforting affectionate contact like hugs and such with other human beings you trust. I'm thinking if you were able to get more lingering affectionate hugs, you might feel a lot less desperately horny. The hug thingy fits with why masturbation just doesn't feel as beneficial as sexual contact with another human being. It also fits in with why you are now considering contact with any human being at all regardless of gender and regardless of your sexual attraction to them.
Getting more hugs and such has worked for me and for people I know, so I think it's at least worth considering. Good luck. :)
Don't worry about it. I'm a lesbian and it has been known for me to feel so hard up I start being overly cuddly with my male friends. It's only when they laugh that I'm being rather affectionate that I realise what I'm doing. It's just hormones in my case, and a night out with friends usually calms me down, probably, as Lubyanka says, due to the cuddle factor.
A suggestion that might work is to ask one of your female friends to come round for an evening with a pizza and a DVD type thing(the might bit being if you have a female friend you'd feel comfortable asking). Explain in advance that you're wanting human contact, and will be hoping for cuddles on the couch (but not sex). See if that helps, it works with me.
Hmmm. I remember when I split up with my ex bloodsucker (sorry I meant wife) I decided to remain single for a few years and therefore not have sex but my god did I get horny and was gagging for it for a few months. I remember looking at every female that passed me by thinking about it. Like a wolf on heat I was! Just threw myself into my work though.
SG69 x
It's quite interesting that you consider yourself '100% straight', I don't see anything wrong with it but... is it actually possible to determine your entire sexual destiny at one point in your life? As you've identified as heterosexual up until this point (not that you don't now, I didn't word that very well!), but does that mean that you will be for the rest of your life?
Like a lot of people, I see sexuality as quite a fluid concept. Perhaps social conditioning and our own personal choices keep it static, but that doesn't intrinsically define you. This 'madness' is only added stress you're putting on yourself - I think it can be perfectly normal if you're attracted to men yet still want to define yourself as heterosexual! Accepting that others will disagree with me here, but this kind of labelling is just another way to categorise others into little narrow boxes; no two 'heterosexual women' or 'trisexual men' will be the same. So why are we trying to categorise their emotional and physical needs into specific definitions? I just don't think that can work.
So please define yourself however you feel comfortable, but don't let those assumptions push you into a negative attitude towards yourself. No matter how you feel, it's your choice to act on it and no-one can judge you for that.
But I agree with Lubyanka and Elle-Scotland - this does sound like an emotional issue and they make very good suggestions. I've always thought friendly contact has been better than a sexual relationship anyhow!
Best of luck, I hope that you feel better soon :)
I think the nail has been very firmly hit on the head. I dont currently have anyone at all that I am close to. Not in any way at all. Even the person I call my best friend I wouldnt really call my self close to. Not really if I am honest. No one not friends, family, anyone at all, I have not got a close relationship with anyone atm and I think its finally starting to get to me.
I consider my self to be a very very strong person and am able to cope with most anything, even if to do so I have to convince my self its not a problem, but I have so many things going wrong at this point in my life I feel that I wont be able to cope for very much longer.
Hmm this seems to be going way beyond the bounds of a sexual problem doesnt it. lol
AzureKatte wrote:
I dont currently have anyone at all that I am close to. Not in any way at all. [...] I consider my self to be a very very strong person and am able to cope with most anything, even if to do so I have to convince my self its not a problem, but I have so many things going wrong at this point in my life I feel that I wont be able to cope for very much longer.
Hmm this seems to be going way beyond the bounds of a sexual problem doesnt it. lol
Babies can die if they aren't cuddled enough, so this is important for all of us. Just because adults don't die when we are cuddled insufficiently, doesn't mean it isn't serious. I think that trying to convince yourself that something isn't a problem when it clearly is, isn't a sign of strength, it's a sign of procrastination to deal with stuff later. :)
And because sex itself is often done with other people in ways which involve intimacy and other personal issues, sex very much involves all of these things, so I consider this to be quite relevant to these forums.
I agree that your problem is real, and serious, and you have every right to focus on it and try to address it here or elsewhere. I would suggest that you try to find somebody in-person you can talk to, and hopefully hug regularly. If you're having difficulties with establishing and maintaining friendships and other social relationships, you might want to consider going to talk to somebody professionally about this, because really, I think you need to focus on it now.
If you continue to leave it, you might get into a situation which you can't cope with, so if you like, please consider this a noodge to get out of your procrastination rut. :)
Good luck.
Lubyanka wrote:
Babies can die if they aren't cuddled enough, so this is important for all of us.
Ive never heard of that before and to be honest its sort of made my mind go into over drive. Could you please explain more Lubyanka?
xx
mybadx wrote:
Lubyanka wrote:
Babies can die if they aren't cuddled enough, so this is important for all of us.
Ive never heard of that before and to be honest its sort of made my mind go into over drive. Could you please explain more Lubyanka?
xx
Have a look here, there's some good information and a short film about studies done with human children and primates.
http://www.violence.de/tv/rockabye.html
Also this may be of interest:
http://whyfiles.org/087mother/2.html
Thanks for that info.
It was an interesting read but also quite frightening at the same time. Unamaginable to think of those children in the 2nd web address quite uppsetting in a sense also. It just makes you realsie how lucky you sometimes are and make you realise the cuddles you give your kids mean more than you already thought :)
Thanks again
xx