Welcome @jpuk, few bits jumped out from your post I wanted to mention…
Have you mentioned that this is how you feel to him as part of your talks?
Sometimes saying things like
‘I feel like I might have put you off me in some way, because I am not getting your attention. Wondered what your thoughts might be?’
can be really difficult, for me I feel vulnerable and awkward around stuff like that, but I know if I don’t ask the question I wont find the answer by myself.
Is it worth asking if he is looking at the Shop or Forum part?
I would personally suggest if he was looking for pictures, there would be many sites more suitable than either the LH Forum or Shop, it’s just not that kind of place.
In terms of tiredness, are there times of days that would suit him better?
Although you are talking a lot, I wonder if the right questions are being asked.
Thanks for all the input and help guys,i guess we shall just have to talk it through again and failing that perhaps broach the subject of sex therapist in the long term.
@WestsAwake word for word it’s exactly what iv had for a while mate. Takes a dirty night in hotel, great fuck with lingerie then get home to reality n nothing. My wife has hard times with a very close family member sick… still takes a few drinks to have sex at all. Not easy
I would hope that the alcohol helps them relax when they’ve got the freedom to be ‘allowed’ a drink without worring about kids needing something. Then because they’re feeling like a woman rather than a mum, they are able to have horny feelings and want to have sex.
I would hope that anyway. But it might help you to understand why if you ask. Its likely that she mignt go on the defensive so be mindful not to be accusatory.
Therapy is good especially if it reveals something you might be completely in the dark about.
I had a 15 year marriage end over something I had no clue about until via a therapist I found out but by then it was too late.
Before getting married we had agreed on no children. So, I got a vasectomy early on in the marriage. At the time she didn’t try to talk me out of it. But, the truth was she did want children - thought she’d get me to change my mind.
Over the years it ground on her that I really didn’t want children - not vasectomy reversal, some other guys sperm, or adoption.
So, here’s where it relates to the topic. She was so pissed that she held back sex from me - to the point of sleeping in separate rooms. But made up reasons other than the truth.
Had I known why before it was too late, who knows, maybe I would have gone for adoption.
It was too bad because lots of other things about the marriage worked - but I couldn’t be without any sex.
So frustrated now I can’t emphasise enough. Working away from home, get home every 2/3 weeks. Asking the wife for a sexy photo n she won’t . Sent her one myself but she doesn’t think to send bk, she not sexual person at all
Being a sexual person doesn’t mean you’ll do everything someone asks or expects of you. Everyone has things they’re comfortable with, as well as limits, and I thinks it’s important to respect that. Everyone is sexual in their own way, and rarely it’ll be an exact mirror of yours.
Maybe if you sit down and have a talk, and really communicate how you’re feeling, you can both possibly come up with something she’s comfortable with doing? And if not, then you’ve still had the conversation and can continue on with your relationship knowing you’ve communicated your feelings/wants/concerns.
You are expecting it though when you say ‘she doesn’t think to send one back’. You want her to send one back and you’re annoyed/sad/frustrated, whatever that face is, that she hasn’t.
Is it that she doesn’t think or that doesn’t want to? I’ve dressed up to send photos in the past and then when I saw them I thought absolutely not and never did it again until my current partner.
I’m sure you’ve already tried but you really need to talk to her about how you feel. Personally, if I was apart from my husband I’d appreciate a conversation about how to keep things fun while we’re apart. However, sending photos really isn’t for me, I hate having my photo taken and it really knocks my confidence. Might your wife feel the same way? Might she be open to something similar like video chats, phone sex or sexting? I love to receive naughty texts, the more descriptive the better but would be totally turned off by photos.
She has before, at the start 11 years ago now. When she was pregnant she sent a few n it I found her so sexy. Advice taken onboard though which is greatly appreciated as always. We had good sex at the wkend but nothing to shout about, which is down to me, couldn’t help cuming so quick!
. Working away from home, get home every 2/3 weeks. Asking the wife for a sexy photo n she won’t