The Duplicate Thread Issue - Please Read!

Inside Lovehoney
21

Wizzie86 wrote:

I was debating leaving not long ago because I felt pushed out, unwelcome and unvalued as a few people on here know. I agree with a lot of both WandA and Alicia's points. I think that the duplicate threads issue is a sore point partly because when we were new members it was drilled into us that you don't create duplicates without a reason and someone would always point you in the right direction. It feels very strange to do a complete 180 and as WandA suggests, change the rules because a few new members don't like the old ones. I'm all for going with the flow and changing things for the better but many older members don't want to post the same information over and over again. In the end you end up not posting at all as there is rarely anything original. That said... I think sticking the basic threads (squirting/begginers toys/anal beginners) is a good way to stop these at least being repeated too often and fingers crossed that the new system works as well as the old one used to! X

Hi Wizzie,

Good point, well made. I have found quite often that whilst l may not necessarily have been consciously pushed out, that a few of my posts have been ignored in the sense they didn't elicit any response which l construed as a lack of interest. I have come to the realisation however that it might be no one understood what the hell l was banging on about, so l have got over it largely.

The group dynamics do change when old stalwarts- Bath Bi Guy, Lubyanka, ImeldaImelda and others move on, not forgetting SublimeLongLegs of course.

Things come round in time though, just a matter of getting to know people again- that change thing that people dislike comes in here as well.....

All l can say is stick with it, unless life takes up too much of your time, your choice though at the end of the day clearly.....

TB

22

Hmmm- nothing original now aint that the world though!!!

23

Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

tallboy247 wrote:

Hi Wizzie,

Good point, well made. I have found quite often that whilst l may not necessarily have been consciously pushed out, that a few of my posts have been ignored in the sense they didn't elicit any response which l construed as a lack of interest. I have come to the realisation however that it might be no one understood what the hell l was banging on about, so l have got over it largely.

The group dynamics do change when old stalwarts- Bath Bi Guy, Lubyanka, ImeldaImelda and others move on, not forgetting SublimeLongLegs of course.

Things come round in time though, just a matter of getting to know people again- that change thing that people dislike comes in here as well.....

All l can say is stick with it, unless life takes up too much of your time, your choice though at the end of the day clearly.....

TB

I like your posts Tallboy, but I admit there are some posts I read over 4-5 times and still don't understand it properly. External Media I'm probably just a bit dim though! Lol!

I do think everybodies point is valid here, maybe we should just 'go with the flow' so to speak and work out all the niggily bits when they arise...

Totally agree i think LH are trying to please everyone, but really its an impossible task as the different views are so very different!! x

24

tallboy247 wrote:

Good point, well made. I have found quite often that whilst l may not necessarily have been consciously pushed out, that a few of my posts have been ignored in the sense they didn't elicit any response which l construed as a lack of interest. I have come to the realisation however that it might be no one understood what the hell l was banging on about, so l have got over it largely.

The group dynamics do change when old stalwarts- Bath Bi Guy, Lubyanka, ImeldaImelda and others move on, not forgetting SublimeLongLegs of course.

Things come round in time though, just a matter of getting to know people again- that change thing that people dislike comes in here as well.....

All l can say is stick with it, unless life takes up too much of your time, your choice though at the end of the day clearly.....

TB

I think this is super true! I noticed a while ago people having off topic chat in threads and some posters being completely ignored to continue the chat, I thought that wasn't on and excluded people. I think the boards are less inclusive now than they used to be which is a shame.

I like seeing you post TB, it does require calls to Bletchley Park at times but it adds something interesting and a bit different to things.

25

Have to agree,this place never used to be as cliquey as it has been lately and people "outside" of the clique get ignored! Which is why I'm then annoyed it's rule followers who get the blame for not being inclusive.

Adx

26

and xXx thanks for your post :) you write well and come across as well thought out which is much appreciated!

It definitely is a case of people feeling like they need to protect how great this place was, and frustration that things are changing in a way that seems detrimental....all we can do is wait and see what happens - but I feel passionately that we should discuss issues with the "system" as we go along in order to make sure as many people are happy as possible.

Adx

27

As a newbie to Lovehoney I would hate for people to leave because of the likes of me!

It's a bit like school - the sixth formers need to squash us first graders into place!

Beat the rules into us and become equals.

I have high respect for the rules, and I hope that comes across.

I have to say I dont post if I dont feel that there's anything I can add in terms of advice.

When I joined I felt very welcomed, but there are one or two threads where I feel that I'm perhaps not welcome - probably just my paranoia! - and there are a few cliques it seems, but again that could be me reading too much into things!

I was looking for another forum to join for chats to keep me away from the dodgier places I have frequented and am hoping that Love Honey continues to be what I hoped it would be and what it has started to be.

Love and hugs to all - OAPS and babes in arms!!!

And to those seasoned posters, please dont leave, I already look out to see what you've posted as your advice and opinions always give me food for thought.

Very rambly and ranting post but I have a tendency to type as I think!

xx

PJ

28

pyjamaparty wrote:

As a newbie to Lovehoney I would hate for people to leave because of the likes of me!

It's a bit like school - the sixth formers need to squash us first graders into place!

Beat the rules into us and become equals.

I have high respect for the rules, and I hope that comes across.

I have to say I dont post if I dont feel that there's anything I can add in terms of advice.

When I joined I felt very welcomed, but there are one or two threads where I feel that I'm perhaps not welcome - probably just my paranoia! - and there are a few cliques it seems, but again that could be me reading too much into things!

I was looking for another forum to join for chats to keep me away from the dodgier places I have frequented and am hoping that Love Honey continues to be what I hoped it would be and what it has started to be.

Love and hugs to all - OAPS and babes in arms!!!

And to those seasoned posters, please dont leave, I already look out to see what you've posted as your advice and opinions always give me food for thought.

Very rambly and ranting post but I have a tendency to type as I think!

xx

PJ

Amen PJ!!! Everything i wanted to say in one big thinky rant lol xxxxx

29

pyjamaparty wrote:

As a newbie to Lovehoney I would hate for people to leave because of the likes of me!

It's a bit like school - the sixth formers need to squash us first graders into place!

Beat the rules into us and become equals.

I have high respect for the rules, and I hope that comes across.

I have to say I dont post if I dont feel that there's anything I can add in terms of advice.

When I joined I felt very welcomed, but there are one or two threads where I feel that I'm perhaps not welcome - probably just my paranoia! - and there are a few cliques it seems, but again that could be me reading too much into things!

I was looking for another forum to join for chats to keep me away from the dodgier places I have frequented and am hoping that Love Honey continues to be what I hoped it would be and what it has started to be.

Love and hugs to all - OAPS and babes in arms!!!

And to those seasoned posters, please dont leave, I already look out to see what you've posted as your advice and opinions always give me food for thought.

Very rambly and ranting post but I have a tendency to type as I think!

xx

PJ

It's not about the 'likes of you'!

We have plenty of great older and newer members, I think the problem was that LH ignored the forums for a bit understandably thinking things were ticking over, hopefully Alice can continue doing a great job and get things back on track. It isn't really an as simple as when people joined it is more those who had faith in the old rules and those who didn't or have never experienced them and feel they were too restrictive.

As the older rules are being replaced I do agree with a few of the older posters in that it seems like the rules are now being moulded around groups rather than letting the group be determined by those who obey the rules and those who don't. I'd rather have the rules dictated and set quite firmly rather than alter them to different members, as it appears to some of us.

I can understand why this is happening but It's making many of us older members feel quite marginalised and it looks like the rules are simply being changed due to people shouting loud enough. I think proof of this is that any time a little minor issue comes up, such as this thread, it ends up turning in to a thread expressing many more dissatisfactions. *shrugs*

30

Well I hope I have'nt trodden on anybodies toes since I joined over here.

Sometimes I will admit I will go off on a random tangent, It's just my zainy sense of humour coming through in my posts :(

Though I do try to stick to the rules and make valid and helpfull posts/threads/reviews.

I must say to you óldies' ( excuse the pun lol! ) You are the very reason, To me personally.. That I want to stick around.

When I enter a new community it's the threads and posts usually by the regular long-standing members that I take most notice of.

As for my ideas about moderaters/off topic sections etc etc, It's just an afterproduct of coming from other forums, Some of which I administrate or moderate, Where these things I have mentioned are common place. This doesn't mean they sould also be common place on here. I think sometimes, My posts come across not the way I intend them, As is my wont irl too lol.

I just hope that the oldie/newbie divide dissolves, And that members like my crazy self don't get washed away with the tide....

Pauli

p.s. You ARE a very welcoming bunch, So don't be letting any n00blets tell you otherwize you kinky kinksters!!!

31

It really isn't about individuals for the most part Paul, I can't really think of sustained examples were someone has bothered me personally. As I also explained I don't also think it's just a simple matter of us and them.

Everyone goes off topic and no one minds the odd post that lightens the mood, as long as nothing seems to exclude anyone people aren't too bothered so don't worry.

Certainly don't be afraid to voice any concerns you have, not everyone will agree and it's important that it's not just the loudest who get their point across.

I think many of us do feel we are welcoming, which makes it a bit more frustrating when you feel like the bad guy for pointing out rules or helping out.

I was quite happy with the old rules and how they were previously modded quite strictly, I just think when things got a little bit lax bad habits creeped in, now I worry a relaxing of the rules will satisfy some in the short term but lead to a reduction in the quality of posts and posters.

32

I'll let the big guns continue the debate, but I'll just give my input.

When I see duplicate threads, I can't even be bothered to post in them any more if I've already posted in a previous similar topic. Can't even be bothered to direct people to the appropriate thread most of the time, as it tends to get tedious. I'd hate to see the forums becoming inactive because people can't be bothered to repost things, but I think it may happen.

33

The way I see it, see,

Is Having an off topic area for example...

But at the same time, Keeping the rules as tight as they were ( i dont mean tight as in mean i mean tight as in secure tight. )

CAN & does work, If there is moderation to back it up.

I'm saying all of this but I don't know the key factors here....

How many members does the OA currently have?

How many of those are actually active?

How many moderators are there for the forums?

I may have missed it somewhere but I can't find the stats anywhere, Then I am still getting used the OA's layout...

The one problem I have encountered before is this....

A forum with a member base of 300, With 5 mods. Worked fine!

Then the forum base gradually grew within a year to around 2000 members. Now not all of them were active and some were spam accounts, But the fact is, The admin believed 5 mods would be enough. It wasn't nearly enough! The forum got bogged down with spam, New members flaming each other over stupid little things, bad language etc.

The mods just couldnt keep up with the sheer volume of reported posts/threads so the admin nearly went awol, it wasnt until he listened to a few of his mods that he decided to pull up some extra help from his existing members ( old and new alike ) And only then did he get on top of it.

But like I said, I dont know the stats so For all I know there could only be 400 odd members here with only half being active?!

I wouldn't normally be so up front in my ideas when so new to a community, But I've grown to really like it here and hate seeing how old and new members alike are getting fed up or feeling they want to leave etc.

I just hope it gets sorted soon and keeps the majority happy.

And again, I dont mean to step on any feet, Its just my opinion coming from experience.

Loves you all, Paul xxx

34

PLus, ( Grr at not being able to edit own posts lol )

All of this, And more could be covered in the pipeline plans anyway, So I could be rambling on for nothing, Please do tell me to shtum if I am becomming a nuiscense guys!

35

Ecksvie wrote:

I'll let the big guns continue the debate, but I'll just give my input.

When I see duplicate threads, I can't even be bothered to post in them any more if I've already posted in a previous similar topic. Can't even be bothered to direct people to the appropriate thread most of the time, as it tends to get tedious. I'd hate to see the forums becoming inactive because people can't be bothered to repost things, but I think it may happen.

Agreed - to me, it just seems people don't care what us old timers have to say anyway, if they did, they'd do a search for the stuff we'd posted in the past.

I feel bad for saying things like this, but I feel we *have* to say something else we'll go unrepresented! There is a divide between types of people - not length of membership, but certain "types" of conversation are completely overruling now. It seems to be getting less inclusive and more cliquey and to me, the cliques are not between oldies at all - I'll talk to anyone, so will most of the oldies....but some people will only speak directly to "friends" which is what the chat facility is for.

Adx

36

I feel like poor LH have to try and sort the impossible!! I would not mind 'living by the old rules' whatsoever! But i think there is no way they can please everyone... they want new customers/members but also want to keep the 'oldies' as you are really very important, and alot of questions i had when i joined were solved due to past threads!! I spent 3 months just searching, everything i wanted to no before saying hello.... (like a creepy person lol)

Id hate for people to leave and for people new like me to leave... I'd talk to anyone, give me someone to yabber to and away i go... and i try to give advice to topics i no, but im still quite new to toys etc, to im not a great fountain of knoledge like you lol.... Godness i owned a toy for 3 years and never used it... since i finally gave it ago i never looked back lol!! I dont think everyone will eveer be happy with whatever the rules are... its something we have to try and live with!!

Sorry about grammer and spelling.... its dark and i cant be bother to turn on the light as it costs too much lol!! xxxxxx

37

WandA wrote:

pyjamaparty wrote:

As a newbie to Lovehoney I would hate for people to leave because of the likes of me!

It's a bit like school - the sixth formers need to squash us first graders into place!

Beat the rules into us and become equals.

I have high respect for the rules, and I hope that comes across.

I have to say I dont post if I dont feel that there's anything I can add in terms of advice.

When I joined I felt very welcomed, but there are one or two threads where I feel that I'm perhaps not welcome - probably just my paranoia! - and there are a few cliques it seems, but again that could be me reading too much into things!

I was looking for another forum to join for chats to keep me away from the dodgier places I have frequented and am hoping that Love Honey continues to be what I hoped it would be and what it has started to be.

Love and hugs to all - OAPS and babes in arms!!!

And to those seasoned posters, please dont leave, I already look out to see what you've posted as your advice and opinions always give me food for thought.

Very rambly and ranting post but I have a tendency to type as I think!

xx

PJ

It's not about the 'likes of you'!

We have plenty of great older and newer members, I think the problem was that LH ignored the forums for a bit understandably thinking things were ticking over, hopefully Alice can continue doing a great job and get things back on track. It isn't really an as simple as when people joined it is more those who had faith in the old rules and those who didn't or have never experienced them and feel they were too restrictive.

As the older rules are being replaced I do agree with a few of the older posters in that it seems like the rules are now being moulded around groups rather than letting the group be determined by those who obey the rules and those who don't. I'd rather have the rules dictated and set quite firmly rather than alter them to different members, as it appears to some of us.

I can understand why this is happening but It's making many of us older members feel quite marginalised and it looks like the rules are simply being changed due to people shouting loud enough. I think proof of this is that any time a little minor issue comes up, such as this thread, it ends up turning in to a thread expressing many more dissatisfactions. *shrugs*

bum it got misinterpreted!

All I meant was, as a newbie, I would hate for people to leave because of the newbies. I was trying to avoid repeating the word newbie!!!

And have now succeeded in using the word too many times!!!!

As I said, I have respect for rules and always check them before participating in a new forum.

As Sed said (!) It's the posts from the regular, older posters that make the flavour and style of the forum what it is and is what attracts new members to join.

So please dont go. All sorts of song lyrics springing to mind, but I wont start on that! ;)