Hey all,
I was just about to pop over to Reddit with this scenario but y’all are so lovely and reasonable here that I thought I would post here and ask for your counsel.
So it goes, we live in a one-bedroom flat (downstairs) in a semi-detached house conversion. We get along well with the young man upstairs who says he never hears us, apart from when our dog barks, or when we pull the light cord in the bathroom 
. We don’t argue loudly, play loud music, bang around late at night etc. The dog even puts himself to bed at 9PM - it’s quite cute, really!
Back in January, at 3AM, I was disturbed from my sleep by a knock on, I believed, the bedroom window. I looked, but there was nobody out there. I messaged upstairs (as I say, we’re friendly) and he said it wasn’t him. I thought it odd but managed eventually to get back to sleep.
Last month, at about 12:30 AM on a Monday morning, our neighbour from next door comes knocking on the front door to ask us to “turn it down”. We weren’t being or doing anything loud, just watching a bit of TV before bed. We were surprised by it but we’re reasonable people, so we turned our TV down. We also created a routine on Alexa so she adjusts the TV volume for us automatically at 9PM from now on.
A few days ago, the lady from next door went and harassed upstairs. He wasn’t so reasonable with her and told her to put carpet down - that it was her problem, not his problem. He claims that they don’t have any carpet down but I don’t know if that’s true. I’ve never been in next door to know, and he does have a history for telling porkies.
Last night we had upstairs in our flat to talk about the situation, because ultimately, we don’t want a problem turning into a crisis. We showed him how loud we normally have our TV after 9PM and he agreed that it wasn’t unreasonably loud, and that there was no bass in it. We also run a sound test to test the level of sound in the room - 65 decibels, normal talking volume. I went to bed at about 1AM, my husband ran the dishwasher and then came to bed as well. 5-10 minutes after he got into bed, there was another knock on the partition wall. I ran another sound level test on the dishwasher this morning in a silent room and it averaged 46 decibels. We are not, not running the dishwasher at night - it is more economical to do so.
A brick wall without a cavity, which our partition wall is, reduces sound by about 40-45 decibels. That means that the most excess noise our household produces after 9PM is about 25 decibels - a typical whisper. According to the UK Gov’t website, the permissible level of noise where the underlying noise does not exceed 24 decibels (a typical quiet room) is 34 decibels. We are not reaching standards - intentionally or regularly - which would be considered “unreasonable”.
They’re making me miserable and impacting my work too - tonight is supposed to be kink night but I’m worried about making any noise. I’m also seriously impeded on my own work when I’m having to take time out to write letters and seek advice, meanwhile, the chap from next door trundles off to work in his BMW 
The chap is apparently afraid to speak with upstairs, and his girlfriend is apparently afraid to speak with me. Instead of speaking to us and treating us like normal people though, they’d rather take the anti-social route of banging on the wall over every little thing they hear.
I have partially drafted a letter to the council, who are the landlord for both ourselves and themselves. I’m also wondering about contacting the police, whether there is potential to argue a case of harrassment? I’d welcome your thoughts. Sorry this post is so long, I just felt it was important to cover the facts 
). It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve heard of the wrong neighbour being accused of being the bad neighbour.
) and I spoke to the police about that. I was n very good terms with our old beat sargeant so he popped around and had a word. It’s been quiet ever since