I've delt with a similar issue. i've never had trouble inserting a tampon or menstrual cups of balls etc. but the first time I had sex really wasn't a great experience and many other ones after that weren't either (pretty much all non consentual). Because of that, sex always hurt. I never realised it was abnormal until I got with my current boyfriend. We tried to solve this by ourselves but the more we tried, the more I was getting away from sex because I wanted to avoid all the negative emotions that where associated with not enjoying it and feeling pain and my condition not going anywhere.
I then decided it was time to see a sex therapist. This helped me to clear any mental issues that could've caused the unwanted contractions, and then the therapist sent me to a pysiotherapist specialised in perineal muscles. That is what really helped me the most. The physio stretched me and made me work out my pelvic muscles to get them healty, I also had excercises to do at home (which is responsible for most of the progress). Overall, it's about stretching your vagina, and toning it (because a muscle that is always contracted becomes weak). Dilators can be used for that too. I continued with therapy and here I am, I'm not totally healed as sometimes I still have to stretch out but I am not afraid of sex anymore and barely experience pain at all.
In my case, my muscles were so used to being contracted that they just stayed like that. I think they did not contract that much more when penetration was attempted, but as they were always somehow contracted, it was just as painfull (and also contributed to the vagismus cycle with fear that causes contraction that causes pain that causes fear etc).
Maybe you are experiencing the same thing as I did, or maybe you suffer from vaginismus, but in either cases, It seems that something has causes it. Can you recall an event or a change that occured before you started experiencing pain that could've been responsible for that?
I would definitely go see a therapist about it (as well as a doctor, a doctor is always good). The mind plays a big part in vaginismus and you'll need to have some help sorting it out. Also those two profesionnals will know the right threatment. My advice would be don't try to solve this on your own, it'll only get worse.
Also, when you say "OH bought me some love balls" are you talking about kegel balls? If you are, I really think you should stop using them as it can even worsen the situation, making your muscles even more tight!
Let me know how this goes, I wish you the best of lucks, and know you are not alone. I've been through depression trying to get myself out of this. If you need any help, don't hesitate seeking for it, be it from a professional or from members here.