Vibrators and short term desensitivity

Sex Tips & Talk
1

Im on SSRI's and ive always thought that my numbness and lack of sex drive is because of them. Ive been to the doctors and she wants me to change to from citalopram to zoloft. Because of this change, ive only had 20mg in a week when i shoukd have had 140mg and ive noticed such a change. Whereas it used to take me anything from 20 minutes to an hour to orgasm, ive been finding i only need 5-10 minutes. I also never used to feel anything when using my fingers but now its amazing. Coinciding with the decrease in ssri is my lack of vibration

I dont know if the reason im so sensitive is because of my tablets or becaus3 i havrnt been using a vibrator!

2

If this is because i havent been using a vibrator then honestly.. Everyone nerds to put then down and start doing it manually. Its absolutely amazing

3

fistinglover69 wrote:

If this is because i havent been using a vibrator then honestly.. Everyone nerds to put then down and start doing it manually. Its absolutely amazing

As Tracey Cox says, the more ways you can learn to orgasm the better! Whether that's fingers, tongues, different types of toys - a variety of stimulation is best, even if it's tempting to always use your favourite toy.

4

Lovehoney - Alice wrote:

fistinglover69 wrote:

If this is because i havent been using a vibrator then honestly.. Everyone nerds to put then down and start doing it manually. Its absolutely amazing

As Tracey Cox says, the more ways you can learn to orgasm the better! Whether that's fingers, tongues, different types of toys - a variety of stimulation is best, even if it's tempting to always use your favourite toy.

Oh i used my fingers from the age of 13 to around about a year and a half ago (im 20). But just didnt realise/remember how good it was cause ive been using vibrators constantly! :O
5

Hi

My wife has been on and off SSRIs for years and has finally accepted that she needs them to keep an even balance in her life. This is going to be a long post because we've been together over 20 years and she's been on and off them all that time!

She has found (and I have observed) that they all behave differently. On some, she had no interest in sex at all and it really reduced the frequency that she would want something for herself. Others were a bit different in that she'd start out interested, and in fact would get excited, but then she would have really dificulty getting over the line. This was worse if she was tired or stressed, so again the amount that she wanted sex tended to go down as getting to the orgasm was hard and not guaranteed to work.

Now, she's got older and more confident, she kept going back to the doctor. She didn't even really have to explain, she just said that the pills were helping, but she wasn't happy with the side-effects and they gave her a different set. By experimenting like this, and working with her doctor on the dose, she found one that seems to work to improve her mood but also allow us a healthy sex life. We also quite often use something like Zestra or Durex O gel to help things along and she nearly always uses a vibrator.

But, to answer your original question, IMHO (and I'm not medically trained) you haven't been significantly desensitised by the vibrator. Different pills, even if they're meant to work the same way, can have a very different effect on sex and the ability to reach orgasm. And the change in effect can be very quick indeed. To the extent that if we know that sex is on the cards (we have three kids so some planning is nearly always required) then she sometimes holds off on her antidepressant until afterwards. Usually this is if she has the day off and all three children are in school. So, instead of taking her pills first thing, she'll take them lunch-time. But even that effect of it being 26 or so hours after the last one can be enough to help.

But what you're saying sounds typical - one set of pills, really hard work with a vibrator, for ages, to come. Change the pills and you're there really easily with your fingers. I would say, really, really strongly, work with your doctor. See if you can find a set of pills that keeps your mood stable and allows you a reasonable sex life.

Hope this helps, and do get in touch or ask questions if you need to!

6

Hello,

I been using fingers for years and I never orgasmed using them. I believe it is because I am rather insensitive to my own touch. This applies to my whole body. If a guy touches some spots, its amazing. If I do it... Nothing. This include some of my most sensitive spots. And also clit. It does feel good. but not as good as his touch and there is no way I can orgasm from it.

I only got my first orgasm with vibrator, although I can get one other ways too. I love my new dildo, the shape is perfect for me to trust and rub the other curve over my clit and it gives me really nice orgasm. And I can also orgasm by putting clit clamp on my clit and rubbing it, so I dont need vibrator, but honestly, my own fingers are useless for me and always were and I believe always will be.

7

Maybe it's a bit of both?

When I first discovered vibes, I used them most of the time and there was some desensitization. The more I used them, the more power I needed. The more power I used, the less I was satisfied over all. Then life got complicated, as it does, and I lost interest for awhile. When my interest came back, I was far more sensitive and that's been fantastic. Sometimes it's just fingers. Other times it's a bit of help from a low powered vibe to slowly edge myself up into a really intense climax.

It's not that different from sex in a relationship, we can get into routines with ourselves too.