HI so I have been happily married to my hubby for 21 years this July and I do adore him but our bedroom life is non-existent and its causing problems.
Its always been difficult with the kids in the house and a squeaky bed, haha but it's getting over a year and a half now since there's been any action and the longer it goes on the happier I am to become a nun.
I 100% love my hubby but I just don't understand why i don't want to get down and dirty with him, he always tells me how sexy I am etc but I don't really believe it.
One of my friends said to me if you don't want to get down and dirty then the relationship is more friends then lovers.
I know this probably isn't the place for this post so i am sorry but I just wanted others thoughts on it .
Thanks x
I think relationships can be happy and romantic without sex, so don't listen to your friends on that aspect. You still love each other regardless of the lack of sex.
Have you and your husband talked about sex at all? If not, that's a good place to start. Perhaps have a nice meal away from the kids and find out each other's thought on it. Try to work out together what the contributing factors are to lack of sex (for example, busy lives leading to being too tired, loss of libido, depression, fear of being overheard by kids), and think of ways to help with anything that comes up. It could be that you both find out you feel happy with not much sex and like to be intimate in other ways, and that's fine too, as long as it is mutual.
If you both have the urge to reignite your sex lives then perhaps you could think of ways to find the time and space to be intimate with each other. If you can afford it and have someone who can take care of the kids, a weekend away just the two of you may be a good idea. Once you're away from the kids and the squeaky bed and you're feeling relaxed, sex might happen naturally. Holidays in general can be helpful.
The most.important thing is to keep communicating with each other. Hope this is helpful, good luck.