I can't deal with the fact that i didnt have normal youth like most of the students. Sex, party, travelling. I alived almost nothing until now. I had 6 one night stands and last month one fuckfriend for a month, but i dont see the point of meeting her anymore, because she will be always over me. I dont see point of dating any other girls (i could), because they will be always over me, because of those normal things they alived in the most importand years of life (16-26). I am now 29 and have alived only so much like an average 17 year old maybe. I can't be in company of young people, because all i think of are those things. How they enjoy their youth and i didnt. And there is nothing i can't do now.
I dont have motivation for anything, because of my unequality, which will be there forever.
How can i be equal to a girl that had regular sex since 18 and i had it only maybe 20 times? She will be always over me because of that, because she did it in the prime years of the life. Some have it 5 times a day sometime in their youth.
Sex in the present and future doesnt mean nothing, if others already won the game of life (this means enjoying youth like media tells you).
29 still young , just start living your life now ! No one needs to know what youv done in the past experiences etc . Think most people that age have had steady relationships not hundreds of partners ! Stop feeling sorry for yourself go out and have some fun x
You shouldn't base normal life on sex or amount of sexual partners. You will find most people in the age group you are talking about may have only had one partner and some even none. Loads of people won't lose their virginity until mid 20's and some even later. Not everyone parties hard and has sex all day long.
See it like this: They may have had more sex than you, but you still have so much new things to experience that they already have. So much excitement, nervousness and happiness that comes with trying new things for the first time.
I don't understand why people who have had more sex than you or partied more should be "over you". The amount of sex you have had do not say anything about your value as a person. Don't put yourself down.
And remember, you are still young. You can still do all these things that you would like before you settle down. If this is what you really want to do, then I think you should travel, party and have sex. Life is to short for regretting things you never did, and it's not too late for you :)
Stuburns wrote:
You shouldn't base normal life on sex or amount of sexual partners. You will find most people in the age group you are talking about may have only had one partner and some even none. Loads of people won't lose their virginity until mid 20's and some even later. Not everyone parties hard and has sex all day long.
As a student who prefers board games, film nights and quiet, select friend gatherings I will second that- don't ever base normality on what the media says it should be, that's not how real life works.
LittleMissLonely wrote:
29 still young , just start living your life now ! No one needs to know what youv done in the past experiences etc . Think most people that age have had steady relationships not hundreds of partners ! Stop feeling sorry for yourself go out and have some fun x
Couldn't agree more.
Just go out there and get yourself a life .
Shadow Collector wrote:
Stuburns wrote:
You shouldn't base normal life on sex or amount of sexual partners. You will find most people in the age group you are talking about may have only had one partner and some even none. Loads of people won't lose their virginity until mid 20's and some even later. Not everyone parties hard and has sex all day long.
As a student who prefers board games, film nights and quiet, select friend gatherings I will second that- don't ever base normality on what the media says it should be, that's not how real life works.
If it would not work like this, the majority would not live this way. Media tells us what is right. Majority has always right. People also say facebook is stupid, but they still post whatever they alive, because they know its cool and you must do what majority does.
Sxleksaker wrote:
See it like this: They may have had more sex than you, but you still have so much new things to experience that they already have. So much excitement, nervousness and happiness that comes with trying new things for the first time.
I don't understand why people who have had more sex than you or partied more should be "over you". The amount of sex you have had do not say anything about your value as a person. Don't put yourself down.
And remember, you are still young. You can still do all these things that you would like before you settle down. If this is what you really want to do, then I think you should travel, party and have sex. Life is to short for regretting things you never did, and it's not too late for you :)
For some things, there are only certain ages. At 30 everybody can do all the stuff. At 20, only cute girls and cool guys, so the biggest people of our society. At 30 its also strange to be around the girls in their prime years and years where they have the best look 18-25. Also it doesnt help you to be around those girls, when you know they were bigger persons, becase the things they did and archived ealready in young age, while you didnt.
The media is a circus mirror. It takes truth and twists it until the reflection that was once realistic is completely different from the shadow caster themselves.
To believe that the media is showing you exactly what is normal is akin to believing you look like your reflection in a circus mirror.
Please don't let that affect you, it's a facade that only serves to make people feel like their failing when in actual fact you're as normal as the rest of us.
Listen, you are not a bigger person than anyone just because you have sex early. You should not beat yourself up over this. You have plenty of time to do everything you want until you may want to settle down.
Shadow Collector wrote:
Stuburns wrote:
You shouldn't base normal life on sex or amount of sexual partners. You will find most people in the age group you are talking about may have only had one partner and some even none. Loads of people won't lose their virginity until mid 20's and some even later. Not everyone parties hard and has sex all day long.
As a student who prefers board games, film nights and quiet, select friend gatherings I will second that- don't ever base normality on what the media says it should be, that's not how real life works.
Yep, just because media tell you that wild parties and casual sex with loads of beautiful, trendy people are the norm you should not assume this is actually so in the "real life". Frankly, I find clubbing and "cool" parties bloody dull.
And while I am not happy I have never dated anyone (and I am more or less the same age as yourself - I am turning 29 next month), my regrets are of the "I wish I could have had ONE relationship (as in "one great relationship with someone I would truly feel comfortable with")" kind, and NOT of the "I wish I could have f...d lots of cool people" sort.
In other words, one stable, fine relationship sounds great to me, while the idea of going to rowdy parties and having one-night-stands is something I find immensely off-putting...
Don't use other people's lives as an example on how to live yours. You are an individual.
I think you're very mistaken as to how much sex young people have. Young lads claim to be getting it every weekend and they're actually virgins. People lie about when they fist had sex, when they last had sex, how often they have sex.
And honestly, I don't know any woman that likes men who say they've slept with loads of women. Women aren't interested in men that have had everything with a pulse.
It's much more enjoyable to be with a man that has and few and isn't arrogant and just wants to please.
I don't know why you didn't get to experience these things as a young man, but you can't be resentful of it. Particularly not towards girls you are interested in.
Sex in a relationship is better than a one night stand, you learn what each other likes and learn about yourselves together.
I'm 21, in my prime as you would believe, I've been at uni for 3 years. I've not had a single one night stand. I've had a steady partner for 3 years who is much older than me and has also never had a one night stand. And the sex is amazing. Because we've both had sex with very few people. But those people meant a lot to us and we learned a lot and we are eager to please each other.
A woman doesn't need a man with a lot of notches on his bed post, she needs a man that wants her to enjoy it.
Stop thinking of everyone being better than you and just have some confidence, find a nice girl and learn how to please her. You'll find that these "jack the lad" types think they're incredible while their girls are watching TV during sex because it's that boring. I know. My first was the type of lad so arrogant because he's had so many women and he's so amazing in bed, never been so bored in my life, I was just watching TV and thinking about how hungry I was.
Young and fun95 wrote:
I think you're very mistaken as to how much sex young people have. Young lads claim to be getting it every weekend and they're actually virgins. People lie about when they fist had sex, when they last had sex, how often they have sex.
And honestly, I don't know any woman that likes men who say they've slept with loads of women. Women aren't interested in men that have had everything with a pulse.
It's much more enjoyable to be with a man that has and few and isn't arrogant and just wants to please.
I don't know why you didn't get to experience these things as a young man, but you can't be resentful of it. Particularly not towards girls you are interested in.
Sex in a relationship is better than a one night stand, you learn what each other likes and learn about yourselves together.
I'm 21, in my prime as you would believe, I've been at uni for 3 years. I've not had a single one night stand. I've had a steady partner for 3 years who is much older than me and has also never had a one night stand. And the sex is amazing. Because we've both had sex with very few people. But those people meant a lot to us and we learned a lot and we are eager to please each other.
A woman doesn't need a man with a lot of notches on his bed post, she needs a man that wants her to enjoy it.
Stop thinking of everyone being better than you and just have some confidence, find a nice girl and learn how to please her. You'll find that these "jack the lad" types think they're incredible while their girls are watching TV during sex because it's that boring. I know. My first was the type of lad so arrogant because he's had so many women and he's so amazing in bed, never been so bored in my life, I was just watching TV and thinking about how hungry I was.
I have been with a few women in last 3 months and they all liked me, also they said sex was good and i was a good lover (maybe because i really love giving oral) and nice person. But this is not important these days. All what matters is what you have alived in youth. For them this was just one good sex like they had many probably. Nothing special. Just another good food they have eaten. I didnt have any food. They dont understand how it is to be hungry all youth. How much they would have missed if they would be in my place. They would not be the same persons as they are now, but empty persons who would have nothing to talk about. All i was thinking about durring sex was how many times she was enjoying it before and i didnt.
And i have talk with many women on fetlife and okcupid. Women are very open these days, had many sex partners. Offcourse only those who are really cute.
And what is this nonsense about age? Saying once youre over 30 you are 'past it' effectively...and that girls in the age range 18-25 are in their 'prime'...that is a very ageist thing to say...
I think you are better off working out what YOU want out of life, and setting about achieving it, rather than comparing yourself to others!
Be happy with what you have not what you DONT have.
Rant over...Enjoy yourself, but respect yourself, and others too. No one likes a 'Player' type...
Quality is better than quantity! Numbers should not matter.
I would rather have good sex 5 times a year, than average sex 5 times a day...
Stop putting so much pressure on yourself. As long as you communicate and respect the person you're having sex with, you'll be better in bed than 90% of the people who have sex regularly and assume they're fantastic at it purely because of their count.
I think the best sex is the sex you have with a long term partner. I have had two long term relationships >3 years (including the current one) and three more temporary partners and the sex with someone you've only known for a short period of time really can't compare to the sex with a long term partner. One night stands do nothing for me really, so I don't think you should idolise that. You will find much more sexual happiness with a partner where you can explore eachother.
Luv bunny wrote:
And what is this nonsense about age? Saying once youre over 30 you are 'past it' effectively...and that girls in the age range 18-25 are in their 'prime'...that is a very ageist thing to say...
I think you are better off working out what YOU want out of life, and setting about achieving it, rather than comparing yourself to others!
Be happy with what you have not what you DONT have.
Rant over...Enjoy yourself, but respect yourself, and others too. No one likes a 'Player' type...
If age would not be important, those girls that do porn today at 18 would wait until 30. No, they do it now, because they are the most worth now for the society and you must enjoy your life in youth. Also in movies you see young people partying, not old people. The same out in clubs.
Youth is there to have party. Maybe in the past was not so, but now it is. Standards have changed.
sadman wrote:
Luv bunny wrote:
And what is this nonsense about age? Saying once youre over 30 you are 'past it' effectively...and that girls in the age range 18-25 are in their 'prime'...that is a very ageist thing to say...
I think you are better off working out what YOU want out of life, and setting about achieving it, rather than comparing yourself to others!
Be happy with what you have not what you DONT have.
Rant over...Enjoy yourself, but respect yourself, and others too. No one likes a 'Player' type...
If age would not be important, those girls that do porn today at 18 would wait until 30. No, they do it now, because they are the most worth now for the society and you must enjoy your life in youth. Also in movies you see young people partying, not old people. The same out in clubs.
Youth is there to have party. Maybe in the past was not so, but now it is. Standards have changed.
Sexuality and worth are completely different things. Frankly, it's very sexist to suggest that the defining value of women is their 'sexual peak' and again, very silly to think that porn is any way representatie of the real world.
+1 Shadow Collector, this last comment is just really sexist.