My partner fairly often will ask me to choose a toy!
I must say he was a bit smug when my favourite rabbit died “he was a bit big”!! 
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I have no idea why. Im a dude. I absolutely love using toys on my SO and always have. What I love even more is watching her use toys on herself.
My theory - guys who dislike toys are centered on THEIR orgasm. Guys who embrace toys are centered on HER orgasm. The #1 reason I like toys is because I can watch her while she cums.
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I think it’s down to a whole bunch of societal and education issues. That collide with each other, compound and make it all worse. Men should not be afraid of sex toys and society should not consider sex toys for women as perfectly normal but those for men as creepy and a sign of loneliness or failure.
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I am totally happy with my average cock , wife says the length is fine but she loves how thick it is . I do not remember any complaints with "several " partners over the last 48 years . I have bought several toys over the years and I thought " this must be intended for a porno star or possibly an elephant " . I think the best medicine for me worrying about my size was a trip to a nudist camp . Only one abnormally over hung guy , he could win a three legged race , by himself .
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I think it’s dangerous to generalise or to speak for other people.
It’s possible that in this particular case, it was someone who’d never seen a sex toy before. It’s a bit like seeing her pack of tampons or pads for the first time - yes, you know that she menstruates, but once you’ve seen that packet in the bathroom you know.
Maybe he was embarrassed that he’d seen something private, as if he’d violated her privacy by looking in the drawer.
Maybe he felt like he doesn’t satisfy her sexually and so she has to use toys to have an orgasm.
Maybe it was a combination of the above, or something completely different. Only way to find out is for her to ask him.
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On the other hand, I get off on seeing how big my wife can go… With the added benefit that I’ve learned she’s not a size queen and now also truly believe when she speaks of me being the perfect size for her!
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I agree with you, the best aide for men is to forget what you see online and enjoy some social nudity. You will see that there is a huge variation in flaccid lengths as you say, I certainly don’t feel small when among other naturists.
However even though I’ve not seen too many erect penises in real life, I do know that mine is on the small-ish side, but my few partners have never complained or commented as they will have seen all sizes too.
From what I’ve read online, those with larger flaccid penises hardly increase much when aroused, but my 5" erection pleases me as it has more than doubled its dormant state. Notably it still impresses my partner of 20+ yrs that I grow so much for her.
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me too , i love toys, for her, me, both. they are great
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I enjoy the dildo in my butt. Beads as well. That is a very sensual area.
Not just men pretty sure plenty woman would be disgusted seeing a mans fleshlight or something similar. Really Depends on the person. I’m very open and am happy to talk about anything sexual. My wife is the exact opposite. I’ve tried for years to get her to on the same page but she will never change. Just old fashioned " what happens in the bedroom, stays in the bedroom" mentality.
Sex toys for men seem to still have a taboo, sex toys for women can add to the fun 
and you can do things that aren’t possible solo
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I think that it’s all comes down they think or told is true when growing up. Personally I have no hangups & good on your daughter.
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Your be surprised alot of men and women are afraid of toys. My other half have just as many toys as i if not more 
I believe its his age i was afraid to use toys when i was younger i felt embarrassed. More conversations needed i think.
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I once bought a previous partner a vibrator to play with together and she threw it back at me asking if I bought it because I was lazy and couldn’t be bothered to get her off.
I think some people get them and some people just don’t.
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He sounds quite insecure. Or maybe I have been lucky and always had partners who didn’t mind the toy and have even used it on me. Has he spoken to her since? Sounds like they need to sit down and have a chat. But you are right, very normal to have a toy
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Probably a lack of confidence/secureness being of a young age imo, I was “into” toys from when I was old enough to buy them so virtually all my relationships I was always the first one to intoduce/suggest them but I did usually go for quite good girl/submissive types. I was also gifted with a high level of confidence and never really found them intimidating and more of a tool to help me give amazing sex to my partner.
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That’s another valid point here.
I would feel more comfortable talking anout the toys i use on my wife than the toys i ise for myself.
Like masturbation for me is a no discuss area?
Anyway, it’s all a non subject really. Not like i talk about sex toys with anyone else really.
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To echo a lot of the replies already, I dont think men are afraid, but it sounds like there may have been a bit of embarrassment on both sides, and other peopless upbringings certainly have an effect.
It sounds like you all have a very open, confident house which is fantastic, but not everyone has these experiences.
As an older couple, we love our toys, and we love sharing the experiences together, but remembering what it was like when we were younger, our home environments were very different, and it was actually me that brought the toys to my OH attention, after growing up in a house full of women.
We are fortunate to have a very open relationship, and she also now has a bigger collection, and we both know that these provide a service, but one thing she always says is that a toy cant kiss her goodnight…
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Got the tee shirt 
Single male here, go figure