@batjamboree . Firstly , its very refreshing to hear someone with such an open minded relationship with their children, that they can discuss this type of thing freely. Well done to you.
I think younger guys might feel it questions their ability to satisfy their partner.
It was actually me who bought my wifes first vibrator. We were married with kids by then.
When i was in early 20’s access to sex toys was far more difficult, so probably fewer women had them…
( i absent mindedly used a competitor* mentioning their parties…sorry Brenna ) opened up the sex toy market.
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We use a dildo (smaller than my penis) on both of us. I like it up my butt. I use it on her butt too a little. We both like the beads in our butts - great for stimulation before anal and during piv. Beads are good during oral - when she’s sucking my penis.
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I feel like i was kinda of afraid of them at first. I am a 20Yr old virgin who was very sceptical about ordering there first sex toys. After my first purchase however, my collection kept increasing and still does haha.
I was always worried about all of it gettig found, which was a big reason why i originally didnt want to get them, however one day i believe it got found as i noticed my box with one of my cock rings had been moved. Since then ive not been bothered!
Im still kinda afraid of branching out into certain sex toys. I would love to get something like a flesh light or thruster, but i feel like because ive not had sex before it might ruin the experience
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For what it’s worth: I don’t think a fleshlight feels anything like the real thing. They’re really good, a lot of fun, but there’s so much more to sex than just a penis in somewhere nice wet and warm. Give them a go, but like all masturbating don’t get addicted.
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It is probably because historically we think of sex toys being things women use. My wife has some toys which I love her to use but I don’t have any. Any ideas of a good toy for a man to use?
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There are as many answers to that as there are people in the world. The easiest answer is to browse LH (or your nearest online equivalent) and see what tickles your fancy.
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I agree, toys can provide lots of pleasure to a woman, especially the ones that stimulate the G-Spot and the clitoris at the same time to provide a full body orgasm. That can be difficult for the man to do, but the toy does it easily.
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I welcome sex toys with open arms. I love having a girl doggy and being able to reach with a vibrator to get her clit.
I think it can be down to maturity/ experience. I think young men feel so much pressure to satisfy their partner. So when they find out their partner uses a toy it can be quite demoralising, especially if the toy offers something that they can’t (for example size).
However, as with most things if the toys were not known about then maybe he saw it that this was a secret and it was not intended for him to know. Therefore you could argue that he may have felt not included or even a loss of trust?? I’m not implying that this would be justified.
I know as I’ve got older I’ve become far more comfortable and look forward to being involved
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A stroker
@LH6784 - welcome to the club and I agree with your points - he probably thinks she gets more pleasure from a vibrating dick compared to his manhood
Masturbation sleeves are good, too. They have ridges that simulate the ridges in the vagina, also.
Sweeping generalisations coming here, and I can only speak to heterosexual relationships, but: I think there’s a couple of strands here:
Firstly, sex toys for men are a lesser known thing. Look at the number of products available dedicated to women’s pleasure compared to men’s. Now I’m sure that gaps closing but certainly historically, ‘marital aids’ were designed around women’s pleasure. After all men have a built in aid to achieve orgasm - their hand - and we teach them to touch their penises with it as soon as they can use the toilet. It should be no surprise that culturally, sex toys are still understood primarily to be for owners of vaginas.
Secondly, I can entirely see how a penis owner would be scared by anything that is designed to give a vagina owner pleasure. I’m sure there must be some deep set brain wiring in men that knows that’s (one of) their purpose(s) in life, so anything else that can achieve that for her is a threat or a competitor. Especially if the item you find as a younger/less experienced man in a younger/newer relationship is a) phallic and b) comparable or larger than you - again I’m sure there’s a bit of base level brain wiring in there about that. Also, in most monogamous or exclusive relationships we agree that my penis is the only one going inside your vagina. To then find she’s keeping a spare penis in the bedside cabinet is a bit of a jarr to that concept, that I’ll hopefully work through in my third point.
Thirdly, I think it depends entirely on his outlook on sexual pleasure (or overcoming your prehistoric brain wiring). Psychologically, Humans are fundamentally selfish, it takes a developed and mature brain to overcome that. If (certainly as the male) you can approach your sexual relationship with the view that your roll is to ‘give her/help her experience pleasure’ above all else, then it’s a small jump to ‘using whatever means available’. If those means involve you buying shares in lovehoney to find what gives her the most pleasure, then your roll is fulfilled. Yes, you know she enjoys having a penis inside her, and you know she enjoys you licking her - well there’s a pretty obvious solution of how you can achieve both of those this at once!
On a personal note I had a not dissimilar experience to @batjamboree ’s daughters boyfriend. I came across my (now wife’s) girlfriend’s favourite toy in her room while we were watching tv in her room several months into her relationship, and well before we’d got onto talking about sex toys, experience with toys and preferences for achieving orgasms. It was an earlier version of the lovehoney Silencer - they’re not exactly small, but not phallic shaped. My first reaction was ‘I want to see her cum on this’. Turns out she had a whole bag of toys and ‘stuff’ hiding under the bed. The silencers had an upgrade since but it’s still gives her some of the deepest orgasms 15 years on.
On a practical note. A) talk about it in relationships. Especially if one of you has a more conservative background. There’s an entire industry here dedicated to increasing pleasure. Make use of it! B)let him watch you, let him play with you, if he’s not begging for you after he’s watched you cum with it, go back to point A!
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Our experience with sex toys has been completely different, my OH loves using my toys in me and actively encourages me to use sex toys as well. We have a massive collection of toys and he now also has started a collection of his own sex toys. We regularly use sex toys and integrate them into our fantasies
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My partner has always been open to a toy we are in our mid 20s now been together since we were 16 we used toys from the very start. He’s always tried to explain to his friends a toy is a friend not a foe. Work with them not agaisnt them.
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Sound advice and welcome.
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Mrs W here …
Mr W and I do not understand why some men see toys as competitors to them. Mr W is always pointing out toys we haven’t got and he is always in there working on me body with whatever toys he chooses. In fact I have to push him off sometimes so I can work on his body with other toys … or often the same ones …
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I think he’d probably feel left out if she is hiding it from him. I do t think they’re scared of toys at all they just need to have a fun experience and they’ll be fine
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I think that, even though it is from a toy, when she is able to get multiple orgasms with a toy, it is very satisfying to the man. Also, if he can participate by using the toy on her (i.e. a bullet vibrator), it is even more satisfying.
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Im definitely not afraid. I’ll try anything once…bring it on 
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