I’ve been married for nearly 10. My wife’s 37 and in great shape, a runner and swimmer and I have lots of different fantasies about her.
Whenever we start taking all she says is she has no fantasies at all, she doesn’t even think about sex until a week before her period and then she feels horny.
I understand many women feel the same.
The question is, is there any way to help things along? To spark the imagination? Are there any erotic books that aren’t too cheesy.
I’m hoping to spark something in her imagination, any suggestions?
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Kind of in the same boat. Partner goes through some phases where they initiate or have an idea that is kinkier than normal. I just try to communicate as best I can. I ask for more kinky stuff every now and then but not every time. I like to make sure they are satisfied. It does get a little frustrating because I have a sex list that I want to accomplish but I don’t know if I’m getting it done fast enough! Some eggs are hard to crack and see what they want or find attractive.
There’s no reason for me to believe they’re hiding fantasies or anything though. Maybe right now your partner doesn’t need or think about it but that can always change. Some people have different priorities.
Maybe set an intention or goal. Maybe ask her (I always ask or bring it up during a walk or car ride, never before or after sex or in the bedroom) if you could set a goal once or twice a month to try something new?
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Not me, I have plenty of fantasies and the one’s I have told hubby about he was more than happy to make them a reality 
I’ve got a couple more I want to do, and when time is right I’ll talk to him about them, and the fantasies he’s told me about, we’ve made them a reality too.
Communication is key as allentries as said. Perhaps she hasn’t got any fantasies at the moment but that doesn’t mean she won’t get any, or perhaps she feels embarrassed by her fantasies and hasn’t got the confidence to tell you about them. Have a talk with her, away from the bedroom, see if there’s anything new or different she wants to try.
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For our entire 46 years married and in spite of the fact that we have a rich and very varied sex life my wife still claims to have had no fantasies at any time.
Hasn’t held us back though 
.
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We are the opposite, my hubby says he has no fantasies (anymore, he told me about a couple and we did them) but I frequently have new ones.
You could try watching some of the saucy end of programmes together (eg sex/life, 365 days, 50 shades) and then see if they bring up any discussions (away from the bedroom).
Or bring up that you’ve seen a thread on fantasies and discuss a few you’ve seen there? She might just not be able to explain what she wants so hearing about others may prompt her.
Edit - but as always, if she says no and isn’t open for a discussion about fantasies, don’t push her, it may be a genuine she just likes straight sex!
My ex was the same for many years until I opened her mind up when we started to explore different kinks. Then she started to have ideas.
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Some people just don’t have the same hormones as others and that’s really what effects our sexy imagination at times. I’d maybe suggest seeing if she’d be happy to explore more triggers like nipple teasing or types of foods what are meant to boost sex hormones…
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Im in the same boat, im very open with my wife and tell her every fantasy I have and have asked her on numerous occasions whats hers but she always says she doesn’t have any, also I’ll suggest things to her, she loves when I squeeze her nipples so I suggested nipple clamps, she said no that’s not something I’d like, I’m not interested, a few weeks ago she said ok I’ll try them, so I bought some and she loves them, sometimes I think she’s just to embarrassed to say what she’s into
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Good suggestions. Thank you
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That’s what I feel but who knows.
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Same boat, opposite situation. I’ve got plenty of saucey ideas and following watching a pretty steamy show on TV the other week I asked my other half if he had any kinks or fantasies.
“Nope” was his answer as he turned out the light and proceeded to snore …
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In same boat my wife has no fantasy i have lots of ideas i like to try out
Today while we were eating lunch my husband said, I have a fantasy… so I pause really eager to hear what he’s about to say 
and then he goes on to talk about a burrito he wants to try to make 
We’ll probably make that fantasy a reality soon 
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In the same boat.
Wife says we / she has done some stuff that she wanted to do so is more than happy with vanilla sex now. Bit of a pain, but wouldn’t swap her for the world.
I have sent her some saucy stories from a well know erotic stories website and have also bought a couple of books from the Lovehoney section- one by Annabel Knight ( endless Autumn ?)
These have sparked some erotic conversations without having to sit down and awkwardly start a conversation, knowing she wouldn’t want to talk about it.
The test items have been amazing from Lovehoney as they make sure we try lots of positions and situations.
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Same boat. Took me along time to go from no fantasies to having some. And then longer for them to be anything more than finger paintings.
Reading erotica and getting a better idea of what i liked helped, but i took along time and was something that had to develop naturally at its own pace for me.
Reading “the rose” by tiffany reisz was a real mind opener for me. Whole cornerstone of the book is basically about fantasies and they are really creative.
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I purchased 6” realistic dildo that my wife hated.
Then yesterday we tried the 7” whisper vibrator and she loved it.
She never masturbates but I’ve suggested she spend some time alone with the toys. I’m sure it will relieve some stress and hopefully she’ll have a lot of fun.
I’m taking it slow but trying to steer her in the right direction.
Hopefully in the not distant future I can hear about what turns her on.
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I do have an amazing wife in so many ways, her being willing to push her personal boundaries is fantastic. We’re having so much fun right now.
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It is a interesting topic, my wife won’t ever tell me her fantasies as they are hers for her mind, BUT over the summer on holiday we had an “encounter” shall we say and after she said… oh well that’s one less fantasy lol
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Wow 2 years ago, have things changed, i was and still am in the same boat
That would infuriate me, if she told you, yous could be making them all a reality and then she could fantasise about making tweaks to them and doing them again. I’d have to go find a cave to scream in to 
Edited for spelling.
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