violet and i were out jogging earlier and we went past a pub. one dirty old man shouted at her that he could make her sweat if she went over to see him. she laughed and gave him the finger and it got me thinking, what are your thoughts on people shouting out lewd comments? perhaps you do it yourself?
i dont mind it if it isnt insulting and as long as violets reaction back isnt one of longing
I like being wolfwhistled and beeped. It gives me a giggle and I take it as a compliment.
I don't so much like it when old men or horny teenagers congregate, shouting "look at the ass on that" "I'd like to give her a piece" and such. Nor do I like being asked by strangers if we could go somewhere a little quieter when I'm out with friends. I was sexually abused as a child (I have only told this to a few very good friends, and you guys, as it's not so hard to say online somehow), so very forward sexuality from strangers makes me very very uncomfortable.
If a cute guy comes up and tells me I'm pretty, it's different. I think what I don't like is the aggression, if that makes sense?
Oh, and the OH gets worried somehow that being wolfwhistled by a sweating builder 3 times my age means I'm going to leave him. He really makes no sense <3
I don't like it purely because it's disrespectful. You don't know if someone will love it or be really offended, and it's wrong to risk the chance of upsetting someone for no reason, especially when a polite compliment might be much better.
Personaly i think its a complement, and also how is it disrespectful, i mean your complementing someone on how they looks. To me a complement is a good thing, not disrespectful
Doug wrote:
Personaly i think its a complement, and also how is it disrespectful, i mean your complementing someone on how they looks. To me a complement is a good thing, not disrespectful
I don't think WandA is trying to say complimenting someone on how they look is disrespectful. I would just blush politely if a stranger said I was pretty... As would most girls.
I think it's disrespectful when they start shouting crude comments about how they'd like to "fuck you up against the fridge" or similar. You don't know if that person is a virgin, single, what kind of life they've had, if they're emotionally stable... And anyway, it can make you quite uncomfortable as a girl, especially when you're out alone.
Booties wrote:
Doug wrote:
Personaly i think its a complement, and also how is it disrespectful, i mean your complementing someone on how they looks. To me a complement is a good thing, not disrespectful
I don't think WandA is trying to say complimenting someone on how they look is disrespectful. I would just blush politely if a stranger said I was pretty... As would most girls.
I think it's disrespectful when they start shouting crude comments about how they'd like to "fuck you up against the fridge" or similar. You don't know if that person is a virgin, single, what kind of life they've had, if they're emotionally stable... And anyway, it can make you quite uncomfortable as a girl, especially when you're out alone.
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I have to be honest outwardly I sometimes feel offended, if it's deragotory/degrading type comment.
If it's a wolf whistle, for example, I may outwardly roll my eyes but inwardly think 'hell yeah!!'.
I think it entirely depends on what has been said. Like Booties said if it's "I'd like to give her a piece" or comments in that manner then I don't like it. After all I'm not here to serve some perv's fantasy. But if it's a genuinely friendly comment I'm not going to say no!
A friend told me that another friend said he'd "do me" lol. I took that as a compliment because it was amongst friends but if a random shouted it out I'd be more likely to feel offended.
yeah ok thats fair nuff, but a wolf wistle is harmless, no matter who its from.
If it is just a whistle or a beep of a horn I'd take it as a compliment but crude comments I find offensive.
I'm not shy at giving a guy a mouthful and coming back with some smart comment if he has been offensive to me, I will do it right in front of his mates and he is usually the one that's left looking like a right idiot infront of his mates!
sexy little minx wrote:
If it is just a whistle or a beep of a horn I'd take it as a compliment but crude comments I find offensive.
I'm not shy at giving a guy a mouthful and coming back with some smart comment if he has been offensive to me, I will do it right in front of his mates and he is usually the one that's left looking like a right idiot infront of his mates!
Ohh any examples? I'm never quick witted enough to reply. I think of a response 10 mins later!
tbh at the end of the day, i'd rather live in a country with free speech and accept that there are some mugs out there, than not have free speech
violeteyes wrote:
Booties wrote:
Oh, and the OH gets worried somehow that being wolfwhistled by a sweating builder 3 times my age means I'm going to leave him. He really makes no sense <3
sometimes i like the attention, makes me feel nice but sometimes i feel downright angry- especially if i know the comment made is sarcastic. i dress gothic and often get degrading comments from people that dislike the how different i look. this makes it hard for me to tell if people are being honest or not when i get comments in the street.
I used to get these when I dressed gothic. My favourite retort was "Shut it, or I'll put your babies in my oven". =)
LittleKitty wrote:
sexy little minx wrote:
If it is just a whistle or a beep of a horn I'd take it as a compliment but crude comments I find offensive.
I'm not shy at giving a guy a mouthful and coming back with some smart comment if he has been offensive to me, I will do it right in front of his mates and he is usually the one that's left looking like a right idiot infront of his mates!
Ohh any examples? I'm never quick witted enough to reply. I think of a response 10 mins later!
Off the top of my head!
In a club this guy told me he'd love to give me one so I asked him if he had a big cock? His face lit up and said yeah! I said if it's that big surely it could reach round to your arse. He though about it for a second and said yeah (big smile on his face) I supppose it could. He was smiling till I told him to go fuck youself then! He was well shocked and took a right ribbing off all his mates. He actually came over with a drink for me and said sorry. Was shocked a woman could come away with something like that,
I'm quite tired but will post some more tomorrow. x
Going against the grain...
I think it is disrespectful. It is most often not intended to compliment someone, in fact on most occasions I've seen it it happens to be a dick waving contest with other fellas in a group/car. It is not about the lady in question but rather some Neanderthal who feels he can express what he wants to those mere objects known as women.
If you have reason to believe your comment may upset someone (and it's reasonable to assume not everyone likes being reduced to mere appearance) then it is disrespectful to put aside that potential upset given there are other ways to actually compliment people.
I know it is not the exactly the same as a crude comment but in my opinion the intentions are often the same from what I've seen. it usually results in some fella staring at the ladies for dear life making her feel uncomfortable.
Just my experience though. I know I feel uncomfortable, and would more so as a lady.
sexy little minx wrote:
LittleKitty wrote:
sexy little minx wrote:
If it is just a whistle or a beep of a horn I'd take it as a compliment but crude comments I find offensive.
I'm not shy at giving a guy a mouthful and coming back with some smart comment if he has been offensive to me, I will do it right in front of his mates and he is usually the one that's left looking like a right idiot infront of his mates!
Ohh any examples? I'm never quick witted enough to reply. I think of a response 10 mins later!
Off the top of my head!
In a club this guy told me he'd love to give me one so I asked him if he had a big cock? His face lit up and said yeah! I said if it's that big surely it could reach round to your arse. He though about it for a second and said yeah (big smile on his face) I supppose it could. He was smiling till I told him to go fuck youself then! He was well shocked and took a right ribbing off all his mates. He actually came over with a drink for me and said sorry. Was shocked a woman could come away with something like that,
I'm quite tired but will post some more tomorrow. x
WandA wrote:
Going against the grain...
I think it is disrespectful. It is most often not intended to compliment someone, in fact on most occasions I've seen it it happens to be a dick waving contest with other fellas in a group/car. It is not about the lady in question but rather some Neanderthal who feels he can express what he wants to those mere objects known as women.
If you have reason to believe your comment may upset someone (and it's reasonable to assume not everyone likes being reduced to mere appearance) then it is disrespectful to put aside that potential upset given there are other ways to actually compliment people.
I know it is not the exactly the same as a crude comment but in my opinion the intentions are often the same from what I've seen. it usually results in some fella staring at the ladies for dear life making her feel uncomfortable.
Just my experience though. I know I feel uncomfortable, and would more so as a lady.
so let me get this stright, your opinion is that people shouldn't say something if they think it will be offensive to someone else?
WandA wrote:
I think it is disrespectful. It is most often not intended to compliment someone, in fact on most occasions I've seen it it happens to be a dick waving contest with other fellas in a group/car. It is not about the lady in question but rather some Neanderthal who feels he can express what he wants to those mere objects known as women.
... it usually results in some fella staring at the ladies for dear life making her feel uncomfortable.
^ This ^
I actually don't like being beeped in a car. I've been known to ignore passing friends because they beeped and I thought it might be some twat I didn't know (not that I get that many beeps but I hate it!!).
That said I'd be pretty screwed if someone beeped me in order to grab my attention to get outta the way External Media
I think it can be disrespectful, depending on how it's said.
I used to get wolf-whistled and stuff back at school, but I was aware that 99% of the time it was sarcastic and it was intended to hurt me. I wasn't much of a looker back then and not as strong as I am now, so I was an easy target.
Now I'm older, I find it easier to tell if it's serious or not when someone does that kind of thing. Someone on their own, I'd be more inclined to take it as a compliment of how nice I look, rather than a group of lads passing by like WandA said, as it tends to be more a case of "I'd like to get my dick in that!" than actually about the person.
I don't think wolf whistles, beeping horns etc in themselves are inherently disrespectful, but the delivery of them make a huge difference. A wink or a wave while doing it would be a compliment, whereas waving their arms about, making noise etc would be disrespectful in my view because it's objectifiying.
Doug wrote:
so let me get this stright, your opinion is that people shouldn't say something if they think it will be offensive to someone else?
In many cases offence comes with the territory of free speech and that is necessary but unfortunate. However, I wouldn't exactly consider a wolf whistle a conduit of free speech and it serves to furnish the whistler rather than the whistled.
There are plenty of things I can say that are offensive but the vast majority are not said since they don't serve a 'good' purpose. Offence is never usually desirable but an unfortunate by-product.
