3 minute wonder :(

Sex Tips & Talk
1

HELP!!!

my normally long lasting hubby has suddenly starting finishing extremely quickly...im talking maybe 10 pumps then squirt!

usually he goes for an hour or more but the last 5 times we have had sex, its been super quick and im getting nothing out of it.

bless him he is mortified and we have tried all sorts to prevent it.

i try to prevent it by using my fingers, with cockrings, with spray and creams, nothing is working.

also another problem is usually when he goes down on me (which i love and he does to) he stays hard and gets harder as he goes but lately by the time im done he has lost his erection.

does this mean he just doesnt fancy anymore?

does the fact that he is cumming so quickly mean he is just trying to get it over and done with as soon as possible?

everything else in our marriage is fine, we are still best friends we still laugh and have fun.

whats happening with him and his once lovely hard long lasting cock?

i tried talking to him about it and he got so upset about it.

he has also made himself an appointment at the doctors but wont tell me what for, do you think its related?

i cant sleep for worrying about it all :(

2

If he is mortified as you say then I certainly don't think it is anything you have or haven't done and I'm certain he still fancies you. It sounds like a stress problem and if he has booked a doctor's appointment that can only be a good thing. Try not to worry until he tells you about the doctor's visit

3

Totally, and also it won't help once it happends once he will have anxiety that it will happen again making it worst. You could try helping to relax him first, maybe a relaxing bath and massage, maybe some wine. Does he cum quickly with a blowjob, or is it just sex?

4

We're going through something similar at the moment except it's taking a LONG time for him to 'finish' although he has the same result when he's concentrating on me. He's been to the doc and had a few tests and so far it looks okay, but I was reading something about it and noticed this article about pelvic exercises for men http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1023739/Oo-er-And-thought-pelvic-exercises-women.html

It seems men need to exercise their pelvic muscles as well as women do (look for ones for you as well but they're pretty similar... try doing them together, it might encourage him) to help control the functioning of their penis and ejaculation. It could be that doing these exercises might help with his control. If you Google mens PC exercises or kegel exercises for men then it'll bring up some daily routines to strengthen his PC muscles. He still needs to get to the doc just to get checked out and be on the safe side. How old is he?

The best thing to do is not to be too stressed out about it, either of you, sometimes these things happen. Stress at work etc. The other thing is if he's stressing after the first couple of prematures it could be making the situation worse. How about a blow or hand job first to get the quick one out of the way and then maybe he'll have a bit more staying power once he's got the initial one out of the way, maybe change position so he's in one where he get less stimulation from you. It's only happened 5 times so it's not as though it's been going on for ages. Don't let it worry you it'll sort itself out.

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5

A husband you're best friends with, who still wants to make love to you and go down on you, who is upset by the fact he is not satisfying you, has booked a doctor's appointment (probably out of worry for your sex life and his health)... Nope, sounds like he's crazy about you to me!

Obviously things like this are embarrassing for a man, especially at first. You might find that he really doesn't want to talk about it seriously, or discuss this doctors visit with you (he's probably nervous enough about that already). I have been through something similar, and find one of the best solutions to be encouragement. As simple as it sounds, stress can be a huge factor in a man's sex life. He could be stressed from work or an argument with a friend or family troubles? Even if not, it's entirely possible that because this happened once (which is okay! it happens!), he is terrified that it'll happen again, and therefore ejaculates quickly or loses his erection. Simply take the time to tell him you don't mind his new predicament, and you'll happily support him through it. Tell him he;s still sexy and manly and still makes you feel good... Just try to bring his confidence back!

There are also possibly other medical reasons, like weak pelvic muscles, lack of sleep, poor diet, male hormone levels or prostatitis (a bacterial infection). All of these can be seen to by simple lifestyle changes or seeing the doctor. I'm sure your man will manage to sort it out soon. =)

In the mean-time, there are techniques you can try to help a little, such as getting your man to focus on breathing, changing his thrusting pattern, gently pulling his testes down when he is about to reach climax or trying out some pelvic exercises.

Anyway, I'm sure your husband still adores you, and I hope this doesn't become any bigger a problem for you!

Good luck! x

6

Booties wrote:

A husband you're best friends with, who still wants to make love to you and go down on you, who is upset by the fact he is not satisfying you, has booked a doctor's appointment (probably out of worry for your sex life and his health)... Nope, sounds like he's crazy about you to me!

Obviously things like this are embarrassing for a man, especially at first. You might find that he really doesn't want to talk about it seriously, or discuss this doctors visit with you (he's probably nervous enough about that already). I have been through something similar, and find one of the best solutions to be encouragement. As simple as it sounds, stress can be a huge factor in a man's sex life. He could be stressed from work or an argument with a friend or family troubles? Even if not, it's entirely possible that because this happened once (which is okay! it happens!), he is terrified that it'll happen again, and therefore ejaculates quickly or loses his erection. Simply take the time to tell him you don't mind his new predicament, and you'll happily support him through it. Tell him he;s still sexy and manly and still makes you feel good... Just try to bring his confidence back!

There are also possibly other medical reasons, like weak pelvic muscles, lack of sleep, poor diet, male hormone levels or prostatitis (a bacterial infection). All of these can be seen to by simple lifestyle changes or seeing the doctor. I'm sure your man will manage to sort it out soon. =)

In the mean-time, there are techniques you can try to help a little, such as getting your man to focus on breathing, changing his thrusting pattern, gently pulling his testes down when he is about to reach climax or trying out some pelvic exercises.

Anyway, I'm sure your husband still adores you, and I hope this doesn't become any bigger a problem for you!

Good luck! x

All of this but especially the bold font!! External Media

7

try not to worry about it. i'm sure it is nothing that youve done and that he loves you very much. a lot of things can affect sexual performance,like stress, age, high blood pressure ect. The fact that he's got a doctors appointment for himself is a good step in the right direction and will see that there's no physical problems. Even if the appointment is nothing to do with this problem its always good to have a health MOT now and again.

mental aspects of problems like this can sometimes be harder to deal with than physical, but working through it as a couple will help immensley, as you are doing. The doctors can also offer psychosexual counselling if it is a mental aspect rather than the physical.

have you shared your concerns with him? talking in a non confrontational manner about how you feel may help him reassure you. try not to do it before or just after you have sex though as it could be better to talk about it in a non sexual situation

have you considered stamina training? http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=13190

8

hi

well the doctor cant find any reason for it!

hubby is 39 and very fit and healthy (doesnt smoke, drink, goes to the gym every day, always on the go), i always play with him beforehand as we both really like foreplay and lots of it.

he doesnt seem to cum as quick with me using my hand or mouth.

we used to go 2 or 3 or even more times a night but now after just one orgasm he finds he cannot for the life of him get hard again.

we have talked about it and he is extremely frustrated by it. i have told him it doesnt matter, that he pleasures me in other ways and im satisfied although i do miss the intamacy that goes with that part.

i have said that im sure it will be fine and things will go back to normal again and he said he felt better knowing i dont mind about it. he feels like some of the pressure is lifted from him.

i am concerned though that he is considering asking around for some black market viagra.

i have told him he wont know if its genuine or not and he wont know whats in it.

the doctor flat out refused him any saying that a man his age shouldnt and doesnt need it.

this evening, we had a long bath together, then gave each other a good massage and had been flirting back and forth all day so we were both ready and willing.

this is where it gets really worrying.

he was down on me then progressed to using his fingers in me, all i was doing was kissing him, and he came.

i hadnt even touched him down there!!!

he was so upset by it.

i told him i thought it was a turn on to know i can have that effect on him but it didnt help.

i dont know what else i can say to him to reassure him :(

9

bexiswetnow wrote:

hi

well the doctor cant find any reason for it!

hubby is 39 and very fit and healthy (doesnt smoke, drink, goes to the gym every day, always on the go), i always play with him beforehand as we both really like foreplay and lots of it.

he doesnt seem to cum as quick with me using my hand or mouth.

we used to go 2 or 3 or even more times a night but now after just one orgasm he finds he cannot for the life of him get hard again.

we have talked about it and he is extremely frustrated by it. i have told him it doesnt matter, that he pleasures me in other ways and im satisfied although i do miss the intamacy that goes with that part.

i have said that im sure it will be fine and things will go back to normal again and he said he felt better knowing i dont mind about it. he feels like some of the pressure is lifted from him.

i am concerned though that he is considering asking around for some black market viagra.

i have told him he wont know if its genuine or not and he wont know whats in it.

the doctor flat out refused him any saying that a man his age shouldnt and doesnt need it.

this evening, we had a long bath together, then gave each other a good massage and had been flirting back and forth all day so we were both ready and willing.

this is where it gets really worrying.

he was down on me then progressed to using his fingers in me, all i was doing was kissing him, and he came.

i hadnt even touched him down there!!!

he was so upset by it.

i told him i thought it was a turn on to know i can have that effect on him but it didnt help.

i dont know what else i can say to him to reassure him :(

Hi there. I really sympathise with you and your man. It's clear that you have a loving relationship he's crazy about you.

Why not try chaging the order that you do things? Make him cum first and then continue with the foreplay (after play LOL). I'm sure that by having the foreplay in the middle of a session he'll be hard again and will want to make love to you. As he's just cum he should last longer second time around.

Importanly just relax, It's putting strain on your relationship and this can only add to the problem. Subconsciously you may be adding unintentional pressure which won't help. If he knows that you're not sleeping through worry then the problem will increase.

I hope you sort it out, it sounds like it's a temporary problem that with patience and a whole lotta love will go away.