Advice for friend: wife pregnant after affair

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Hello

Some of you may remember that I have used this forum for advice for friends. Some of whom lurk but don’t want to post. This is one such occasion. So, please offer your thoughts …

Thanks

Anna

Hi Anna

Please could you post this. I am not sure where else to post but feel I have to share this in some way, somewhere.

My wife is currently 20 weeks pregnant by another man. She had a fling this summer on a yoga retreat. When she got back she confessed to having had sex there and, in all honesty, that was fairly easy to get over. We are both adults and whilst I have never been unfaithful (and nor has she) I recognise that she is an attractive 38 year old and it crossed my mind that it was a possibility at some point.

She found out about 8 weeks later that she was pregnant and it was a total shock to both of us. There is no way it could be me. I had a vasectomy after the second of our children and the timings do not work out, in any case. She is positive the pregnancy arises as a consequence of the fling in Greece. She has no way of getting in touch with him, even if she wanted to.

In many respects we have come to terms with it and I am enjoying her being pregnant and she has found herself loving the idea of being a mum again, unexpectedly. However, at times I am dumbfounded by the fact that my wife is carrying another man’s child.

So, we carry on. I just had to share somewhere.

Thank you.

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Good luck, it’s quite a situation to be in and very mature to get over the yoga fling…
The situation about another man’s child… Its up to you and your wife how you can deal / progress with the pregnancy…

Good luck

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@GoGirl12
My thoughts exactly…seems to shadow the show :tv:

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Seems fabricated. Why would any sane person be asking a forum via a third party for advice?

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I cant say I’d deal with it as they have but would love to think I could be as mature and sensible about it.

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So, I may have tweaked one or two details to make it all more generic and less identifiable. I must have had that in my subconscious.

The key element of the situation is accurate even if the holiday destination has a touch of artistic flair.

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I’ve done this a few times, look at my posting history. Often people want to scope out their thoughts in a private way and a lot of people read this but have never posted or presumably never registered.

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No way i could do it. Id struggle with the affair part to begin but maybe time is a healer in that regard, however the baby would be a life long reminder of her unfaithfulness

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I would’ve left my partner after they cheated on me. No second chances.

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I’m an open minded woman and I’m happy in my skin - but if my husband had an affair and got another woman pregnant- I would leave :rage:

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I’d be out at the cheating with no looking back.

Love her self respect too having random unprotected sex with a total stranger.

Her fella is a fool for sticking around.

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I personally wouldnt be able to feel comfortable knowing that she had cheated and as a result there would be a child that is going to be a constant reminder of that encounter. Especially when it came to later life and if the kid starts asking why they dont look like daddy in some respects and then trying explaining why mummy had the need to cheat.

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People are believing this?

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I think it’s more “humouring” :rofl:

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Wife pregnant by another man? What sane husband wouldn’t be looking for a divorce? Even if there was some possibility of reconciliation after an affair, it definitely wouldn’t happen with the kid in the picture as a daily reminder of the betrayal.

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100% agree with you that this seems fabricated, as have several of their other posts but since its not harming anyone, we may as well embrace the fantasists who add a bit or spice to the forum. Looking forward to the next “must read” entry.

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Fabricated or not, the poster wants to know what others would do in this situation, for me it’s game over, I couldn’t get over the fact she cheated on me, we both came into our relationship from being cheated on. Even though I have 2 step kids who I have brought up from a young age, that was obviously from a previous relationship, I couldn’t bring up a child that’s the result of an affair, I think there would always be some resentment to that innocent child, which wouldn’t be fair either

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Good for you with your 100% agree. I love certainty in life, the rest of it is so complicated isn’t it.

Someone always comes along who tells me that I am making something up. Yawn.

Although, it is never after the posts about my post-pregnancy body, embarrassing dating fails, or vulnerable moments. Weirdly, it is also always a man (even if, in this example, you are wearing my grandmother’s purple knickers).

Believe what you like. But there are people on here who now know me in real life.

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So, I have not formed a view about what he should do. I am not actually sure that the friend in question is asking for my (or anyone else’s) advice. I think he just wants to share. We all have that urge and I have found this a wonderful place, at times, for sharing things that you just can’t talk about at the school pickup.

Only he can decide what he feels about what is wife has done but I have to observe, lots of people cope with brief flashes of infidelity, we are all human. Presumably babies crop up now and then too.

I think they will muddle through, they literally make their own yoghurt (kaffir) and are very grounded. I hope they will, anyway.

Interesting thoughts and comments, as ever. Thank you.

Anna xxx

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Does that really happen?

Kids asking why they don’t look like a parent?