Advice for your younger self

Sex Tips & Talk
1

Simple question: for those of us with a bit more ‘experience’ (define that as you will), if you could go back in time and offer your younger self sexual advice, what would it be? It can be as general / specific / light hearted / deep etc as you want.

For me, and remember these are just mine and you may not agree, I think it would be:

  • STIMULATE HER CLITORIS. OFTEN! You can climax through penetration, she can’t.
  • Having ‘non-mainstream’ kinks doesn’t make you weird or a bad person - don’t let vanilla ex girlfriends put you down.
  • Try almost anything once.
  • More often than not, one night stands are ‘meh’ at best.
  • Some people actually want and enjoy things you’re told ‘only happen in porn’ eg rough sex, threesomes, bondage etc.
  • Your partner’s previous number of sexual partners genuinely doesn’t matter… at all.
  • Sex gets WAY HOTTER as you get older.
  • Sometimes you won’t be able to finish, and that’s ok.
  • The quiet ones are almost always the kinkiest.
  • Don’t settle for infrequent blowjobs… you’ll be miserable.
  • Don’t be so selfish during sex - she’s also more likely to want to please you if she’s satisfied.
  • Sex toys are not a threat or replacement for you… they’re variety.
  • STIMULATE HER CLITORIS. OFTEN!

What are yours?

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2

Easy.

Talk to each other openly about what each of you want, what you like and what you would like to try.

We wasted so much time guessing and blundering about trying to work out what we should have been doing all along.

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3

Very wise words. That’s a good one!

4

Dont let shyness stop you especially when the opportunities are more than right in front, that i missed out on

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5

I think I need to take some advice from my younger self at the moment :woman_facepalming:

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6

Sexual advice? Or general life advice?

7

(Only if you’re happy to share) what advice would you give to your current self that you feel you’d benefit from?

9

Living that they’re centric on body and sex positivity

10

Just to live in the moment a bit more really x

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11

Half the battle is knowing :grinning: which it sounds to me like you do…

12

Communicate often and truthfully.
Theres no such thing as strange sex, its simply down to your taste.
Try try and try. Try everything you think you may like and try the things you may not
Do not let labels define you!

13

1 Do not feel shame or guilt for doing things that cause no harm to anyone.
2 Help your partner to lose his/her shame by ridding yourself of pointless shame.
3 Masturbation is not an admission of failure, but a beautiful pleasure in itself.

14

“Don’t worry about trying to be independent. It isn’t going to happen. You’re going to be a cute little pet, so just embrace it.”

Oh, and “Don’t be scared of that strange blonde girl. That one is your golden ticket.”

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15

Have sex with whomever you want, you won’t be judged on it 20 years later

16

Mine would probably ‘be simply more daring’ and ‘don’t get attached to anyone’ :nerd_face:

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17

Mine -

There will be other people that enjoy unusual sexual pleasures, don’t settle for less than extraordinary. It is worth the wait.

Sex ≠ affection. Protect your heart more.

Don’t let Bob from fab come for coffee, bc he doesn’t mean coffee :face_with_peeking_eye:

Communication really is the best tool and it fixes all that ails you.

Wear lingerie that you like, not what you think is typically ‘sexy’, bc you don’t like it. And on a similar vein, you’re not too fat to be sexy, wise up.

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18
  1. No one’s watching and even if they were they probably wouldn’t care.
  2. Everyone else is up to no good in some way too.
  3. Don’t be afraid to try new/different things.
  4. Learn to: be honest to yourself, admit defeat then walk away.
  5. Communicate.
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19

Communicate would have to be the number one thing. There are so many times I’d like to have done things differently as there are sexual moments I have missed taking that next step to experience something new as I have hesitated. But if I was more open to communication, we could look at recreating the occasion and including that next step.

Its still relevant to me now, but if I started it younger I’d have experienced so many more things by now :slight_smile:

20

That’s a thought: make sure you do it with somebody watching at least once in your life.

21

I’d say just try everything and don’t have any issues or inhibitions