I have just come off of the depo-provera contraceptive injection because I have been steadily gaining weight no matter what and the clinic I went to told me they wouldn't do it anymore because its putting me at risk. I have been on the implant which did exactly the same to me. I never remember to take the pill. I tried to have the coil but got told my cervix isn't big enough without natural childbirth.
Even though I'm only 22 I've been looking at sterilization. We have a 2 year old little boy who is amazing but it was a very difficult pregnancy ending in me being told we both could die without an emergency c-section at 29 weeks.
We had a discussion today and we could give him the most amazing life if we definitely decide we don't want any more. There's just that thought in the back of my mind. Anyone who's been there have any advice? Xx
I've never been there, I don't have a child so I won't pretend to know the pain, physically and emotionally that you must have been through.
However I do work in the medical profession.
Normally sterilisation is not given to people on the NHS until they are at least 30. This is because "what if they want more children?". However considering your history I can completely understand your wish.
Sterilisation is an invasive procedure but you have two options:
Blocking your fallopian tubes with clips or rings or having them cut and partially removed.
Or
Fallopian Implants; these are implanted under local anasthetic.
There is a risk of failure to be considered as 1 in 200 women become pregnant after sterilisation and of course you're not protected from STDs.
If you and your partner are determined not to have anymore children it would be safer and more reliable for him to have a vasectomy. 1 in 2000 males are capable of causing a pregnancy after a vasectomy.
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/contraception-guide/Pages/female-sterilisation.aspx
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/contraception-guide/Pages/vasectomy-male-sterilisation.aspx
Go talk to your GP. I wish you all the luck in the world. Sadly I think many in my profession will not be happy giving you the procedure for another few years yet.
naughtywildfun90 wrote:
I have just come off of the depo-provera contraceptive injection because I have been steadily gaining weight no matter what and the clinic I went to told me they wouldn't do it anymore because its putting me at risk. I have been on the implant which did exactly the same to me. I never remember to take the pill. I tried to have the coil but got told my cervix isn't big enough without natural childbirth.
Even though I'm only 22 I've been looking at sterilization. We have a 2 year old little boy who is amazing but it was a very difficult pregnancy ending in me being told we both could die without an emergency c-section at 29 weeks.
We had a discussion today and we could give him the most amazing life if we definitely decide we don't want any more. There's just that thought in the back of my mind. Anyone who's been there have any advice? Xx
we had a similar story, the birth of our daughter scared us both half to death.Even though there was almost no chance of a repeat it put us off having more. Mrs G had the coil then when we were sure that was that I had the snip. I think it may be a bit difficult to persuade them that at 22 you are sure you want it. (we were 36) but Ive no regrets about the snip.
Mrs Badger is 30 and the dr still will not do a sterilisation no matter how much she begged! 
We have our son and do not want anymore kids. I ended up having the snip.
Badger73 wrote:
Mrs Badger is 30 and the dr still will not do a sterilisation no matter how much she begged!
We have our son and do not want anymore kids. I ended up having the snip.
Much less risk for the guy as for the woman, we had is done at a private clinic ...didnt cost much.
I agree with the comments, Mrs HH had to have all our three children via C section and was then advised that it was not advisable to have another section.
We looked at the options and came to the conclusion that the safest option would be for me to have the snip. I have heard so horror stories about the snip, including one on here not too long ago, like Gunther I went private and would reccomend this option as you know that the surgeon performing the operation will have carried out hundreds of operations.
As Gunther said the cost is not great campared to the peace of mind it brings.
The only thing that worried me was at the first consultation, we were advised that there is a 1 in 2000 chance of failure (as stated in one of the earlier posts), but our surgion had never had one fail. So I asked how many vasectomy operations he had performed, he said about 2000!
I do however agree that you may find it diffucult to get any perminant solution under that age of 30, you haven't said how old your OH is, but even with a private clinic you will have to go though a consultation process.
HH
Belive me I've been there, sorry you've got a fight on your hands, I'm 47 now and was sterilised at 36, personally I'd have been done at 18, if I had the money and could have gone private. Dont let any medical people put you off, you know you're own body, keep saying it, "I want to be done" and why, do as much research as you can to back your claim up, don't let them thob you off with a coil, I told my surgeon no they can give you pelvic infections and can cause painfull periods sorry just reread your post, Good luck and hope you get it soon,
I'm not sure not being able to have a coil fitted due to not having completed a natural childbirth is true, I have a coil and have never had any children and it wasn't problematic, I would perhaps pursue this more initially.
With regards to sterilisation, I suspect you will have a tough time, a male colleague of mine wanted a vasectomy at 21 as he had had 2 children and knew he didn't want any more, he had to speak to several drs and a psychologist in order to have it done, as they said he was too young and whilst he was happily married with 2 kids now, he didn't know what the future might bring and he might want them again at a later date. He got there in the end but it was very difficult. I realise you are talking about yourself being sterilised but I imagine it would be similar.
Hope you find a solution soon
They didn't say I couldn't have the coil due to problematic childbirth. It was because unless I have a child naturally my cervix isn't big enough. I might try again for the coil and if I have any problems well press for a more permanent solution. My OH is 23 so it may Also be difficult for him to have it done, also I asked if he would be willing it was a straight no.
Would getting my tubes tied be easier for me to get done? Xx
Yeah I got what you meant, what I was saying is I haven't had a child either and I have a coil fitted so it isn't a blanket rule, so is definitely worth pursuing before doing something so permanent. You feel this way now, which I understand, but you don't know how you will feel in a few years, hence their reluctance to offer sterilisation...
I really don't see that sterilisation is a realistic option for either of you. You are both too young to make life ch\nging decisions like that.
I would investigate the coil further. I used a cap for a while too, and although it isn't great, it does the job with no side effects and is better than condoms.
i had two children at 30 and was adamant didn't want any more, i wanted to be steralized and was told not an option, and would have to be my other half.
I didn't want him to have it as I knew then we wouldnt stay together and he might meet someone else and want kids, whereas I knew I wouldnt.
I would still like to be steralized all these years later, but now am told i;m too near to the menopause at 47, so it's still not an option!!!
both my sister and friend have the mirena coil without any problems though it wasnt an option for myself.
Sterilisations should be given like sweets due to the state of the world because of overpopulation. My boyfriend tried and they wont give him one because hes 'only 21' and its like... why? If i got pregnant, id be given an abortion, so why not prevent this and save a hell of a lot of money? Had to get an IUD but still not 100% protection!! Argh!! But yeah.. go back now that you have had a child and you will probably be able to get a coil now. You may be able to get the 10 year one because youve had a child. Well done for being so responsible!!!
on the subject of failed vasectomies it isnt a question of falling pregnant when you think its safe just that the operation didnt work. After the snip you have to take or send 2 samples of semen to the clinic a week and a month after I seem to remember, of course you need to use other methods until you gget the all clear. Our method was a Nissan Primera...I drove to Germany lol
Still thinking this over as it not a decision you just wake up and make. I have made an appointment to discuss the best options. For me.
Fistinglover thank you for seeing my side of it all. It won't matter now that I've had a baby because he was difficult emergency c-section xx
We actually spent the last while looking at contraceptive options. I had been on the pill but had to stop taking it for health reasons. I'm trying out the mini-pill now but like you I'm so bad at remembering to take it and the window for this one is only 3 hours so I've had a couple of paniced moments.
I've never had a baby but my doctor suggested the coil as the best option for me. I didn't go for it because I dont personally like the idea of an implant. He told me that even if your cervix is small they can still do it. It just might be a bit uncomfortable. If the doctor can't do it himself they can send for a gynaecologist to finish the proceedure.
Good idea making the appointment. We did that too because there's just too many differing ideas on the internet and people only put up horror stories so I wanted to get it straight from a doctor. I didn't know until 2 months ago that there's a contraceptive patch!
Good luck with it all anyways.
fistinglover69 wrote:
Sterilisations should be given like sweets due to the state of the world because of overpopulation. My boyfriend tried and they wont give him one because hes 'only 21' and its like... why? If i got pregnant, id be given an abortion, so why not prevent this and save a hell of a lot of money? Had to get an IUD but still not 100% protection!! Argh!! But yeah.. go back now that you have had a child and you will probably be able to get a coil now. You may be able to get the 10 year one because youve had a child. Well done for being so responsible!!!
21 is way too young to make life changing decisions like never wanting children. No contrception is perfect but there are lots of options between sterilisation and pregnancy.
naughtywildfun90 wrote:
They didn't say I couldn't have the coil due to problematic childbirth. It was because unless I have a child naturally my cervix isn't big enough. I might try again for the coil and if I have any problems well press for a more permanent solution. My OH is 23 so it may Also be difficult for him to have it done, also I asked if he would be willing it was a straight no.
Would getting my tubes tied be easier for me to get done? Xx
naughtywildfun90 wrote:
Still thinking this over as it not a decision you just wake up and make. I have made an appointment to discuss the best options. For me.
Fistinglover thank you for seeing my side of it all. It won't matter now that I've had a baby because he was difficult emergency c-section xx
Fisrtly it's not easier to get your tubes tied, it's quicker ,easier, safer and had a shorter recovery time for the man to get a vasectiomy.
I dont think it's something that you should be talking to your doctor about alone. My advice would be that you both go so that you can be properly informed about the proceedure for sterilisation and a vasectomy. There are lots of myths regarding vasectomies and it doesnt't affect your OH's ability to have an errection or cum and you don't have to stay over night in a hospital you're in and out very quickly and it only takes a couple of weeks to fully recover from the operation.
Your OH needs to realise that you're both in this together so for him to just say No way and leave it to you is not good.
I knew after having my two children that i didn't want anymore at the age of 26, but my children are fit , healthy and still alive and I'm happily married to my Husband. If iI had lost my children to a tragic accident or illness or my husband and I had split up in the last few years then I might feel differently.
It's only now that my children are 9 and nearly 12 that I know that no matter what life throws at me I know I don't want to have more babies. My husband had had a vasectomy and it's been absolutely fine, no pills, no condoms, no babies.
I was sterilised about 10 years ago ,I was in my late 30s ,we decided we didn't want any more children we have 2 sons .
my oh was going to have the op but I decided to be done instead ,it was a simple op I went in to hospital in the afternoon ,and home by that evening ,felt a little bit sore ,had 1 week off work and I have never looked back .
Thank you ork :-)
It is a huge life changing decision but our son has (in the nicest way possible) caused a lot of rifts in my OH family. Most of them now aren't talking to each other or us and when we were talking about moving closer to my family my OHs mother actually said and I quote.... "you can't take my baby away from me, I've got rights I'll fight you for him"
It seems impossible that I'll ever want any more and plus my lil man won't have to share anything ever and hell always have 100 per cent of mummy and daddy's attention xx