Thats brilliant news 😄💗xx
Thanks for the advice Tiger. I couldn't agree more and in fact we have been cuddling and kissing more with no sex; it was one of both our frustrations with each other that we had lost this aspect, I did say I didn't want to bore you with all the details. I too have chores in the house, I do all the cooking and shopping, something she hates to do. We do still have a journey to follow, as it happens tomorrow both our teenage children are at college and school and we are home alone. I suggested we had a morning in bed, but my OH suggested we do some gardening and/or DIY chores together, I think we will be doing the latter. small steps 😀
Thanks for coming back with an update! It's great to hear that some progress has been made 😊
what good news!
another thing that your wife might like is a massage from you with no expectation of penetrative sex, you could also use the vibrator on her if she likes, but no pressure. reassure her that her relaxtion and comfort is the only aim. she could watch you masturbate after maybe, it's a wonderful way to be itimate without making her feel she has to perform, a special treat for her.
something else you could try is each putting 3 wishes in a hat - one wish for youself, one for your partner and one to be joint. then take turns in drawing one out.
have fun & keep talking!
susan50 wrote:
what good news!
another thing that your wife might like is a massage from you with no expectation of penetrative sex, you could also use the vibrator on her if she likes, but no pressure. reassure her that her relaxtion and comfort is the only aim. she could watch you masturbate after maybe, it's a wonderful way to be itimate without making her feel she has to perform, a special treat for her.
something else you could try is each putting 3 wishes in a hat - one wish for youself, one for your partner and one to be joint. then take turns in drawing one out.
have fun & keep talking!
I like this, one for the mix it up a bit list, nice one...
Susan, that's some great advice that I'll try, many thanks
Dear All, I feel like you are all my friends helping me out on my journey, you have all been so supportive and coming up with great ideas and advice.
Firstly, I've been home alone for a few hours and I've used a P-spot vibrator on myself. I got it 2 or 3 weeks ago and have used it 4 times, the first 3 led to increasing arousal for me, but the elusive P-spot orgasm just wouldn't happen, well now it has. My OH knows I bought the P-spot vibrator although she didn't want to look on the LH website or see the toy itself. To be honest I think she has figured that this is about my exploration of my sexuality as much about our relationship and her sexuality. The P-spot orgasm was all over my body and so intense, although I wasn't aware of it at the time I've "balled" my right hand so much that I've cut my palm with one of my finger nails; that's one hell of an orgasm and nothing like the usual orgasm at all. I was panting, moaning, groaning so loud and the orgasm had my whole body shuddering, I could barely stand up at the end when I made decision to stop the post orgasmic "waves" that were continuing from the vibrations. No idea how I even start a conversation with my OH on this, I think she would have been genuinely scared by how aroused I was. She is yet to ask about my new toys or even ask to see them; probably best to wait till then; any advice, anyone, please.....
Secondly, we are home alone tonight with both our teenage daughters out overnight. We have already discussed a nice massage and I'll use Susan's advice and see what happens, I wonder if she will let me use her bullet vibe on her and me masturbate in front of her ? I'll suggest the 3 wishes idea too, it may throw up some interesting things if she is willing to give it a go, hum what would I wish for ? Wish me luck.
PS - following up from my last post. I did a full day of chores with my OH yesterday, I think she was pleased, we even went over to her mum's to do her garden. On one task she had me sawing down cherry tree branches from up a ladder, my lower back is now quite sore, although I did manage my regular 10k run this morning at least. When we got to bed last night she settled her head on my chest and we had a nice cuddle until we both fell asleep. It was lovely and this morning she had a certain "glow" and unusually for her, it's usually me that initiates a cuddle, came for a cuddle with her head on my chest before we got up to do the morning routines with our daugthers. I need to "slow down" to "speed up", it takes time to build trust and intimacy and we haven't really been great at that for nearly 25 years: work, tiredness, commuting, kids, life in general..... you know the usual problems ! Thanks again to the forum, you have put me on the right track.
I think it's great that LH manage this forum as part of their website and business model. It helps support their customers in their exploration of their sexuality and relationships; of cousre it probably also sells more products, but that's okay everyone has to make money somehow I've become a big convert and fan of LH and what it can do to help people and relationships.
My girlfriend left her under the pillow for me to discover and thats how our conversation came up
More Sexy at 50 wrote:
Thanks for the advice, recognise I may have jumped the gun here ! Thanks to those that have offered advice on how to start a conversation on this with my OH. Let's see what happens, based on some of the feedback sounds like I might end up being single !
If she loves you, I very much doubt you'll be single!
From a woman's perspective, what you buy (mostly visualise/fantasise) compared to what we'd like to try can be very different! It sounds like she gets your intentions and is aware you're thinking of you both as a couple, not just you! Communicate with her, don't assume. If you ask what she'd be comfortable with trying/exploring, she'll respond to you, instead of feeling like it's what you want and expect of her!
Nothing turns a woman on more than when she feels in control, believe me! Tell her what you bought then leave the decision up to her... she'll probably pleasantly surprise you!
Pressure (for me) is a huge turn off, but leaving the choice to her and knowing how hot it gets you, no brainer! x
More Sexy at 50 wrote:
Dear All, I feel like you are all my friends helping me out on my journey, you have all been so supportive and coming up with great ideas and advice.
Firstly, I've been home alone for a few hours and I've used a P-spot vibrator on myself. I got it 2 or 3 weeks ago and have used it 4 times, the first 3 led to increasing arousal for me, but the elusive P-spot orgasm just wouldn't happen, well now it has. My OH knows I bought the P-spot vibrator although she didn't want to look on the LH website or see the toy itself. To be honest I think she has figured that this is about my exploration of my sexuality as much about our relationship and her sexuality. The P-spot orgasm was all over my body and so intense, although I wasn't aware of it at the time I've "balled" my right hand so much that I've cut my palm with one of my finger nails; that's one hell of an orgasm and nothing like the usual orgasm at all. I was panting, moaning, groaning so loud and the orgasm had my whole body shuddering, I could barely stand up at the end when I made decision to stop the post orgasmic "waves" that were continuing from the vibrations. No idea how I even start a conversation with my OH on this, I think she would have been genuinely scared by how aroused I was. She is yet to ask about my new toys or even ask to see them; probably best to wait till then; any advice, anyone, please.....
Secondly, we are home alone tonight with both our teenage daughters out overnight. We have already discussed a nice massage and I'll use Susan's advice and see what happens, I wonder if she will let me use her bullet vibe on her and me masturbate in front of her ? I'll suggest the 3 wishes idea too, it may throw up some interesting things if she is willing to give it a go, hum what would I wish for ? Wish me luck.
PS - following up from my last post. I did a full day of chores with my OH yesterday, I think she was pleased, we even went over to her mum's to do her garden. On one task she had me sawing down cherry tree branches from up a ladder, my lower back is now quite sore, although I did manage my regular 10k run this morning at least. When we got to bed last night she settled her head on my chest and we had a nice cuddle until we both fell asleep. It was lovely and this morning she had a certain "glow" and unusually for her, it's usually me that initiates a cuddle, came for a cuddle with her head on my chest before we got up to do the morning routines with our daugthers. I need to "slow down" to "speed up", it takes time to build trust and intimacy and we haven't really been great at that for nearly 25 years: work, tiredness, commuting, kids, life in general..... you know the usual problems ! Thanks again to the forum, you have put me on the right track.
I think it's great that LH manage this forum as part of their website and business model. It helps support their customers in their exploration of their sexuality and relationships; of cousre it probably also sells more products, but that's okay everyone has to make money somehow I've become a big convert and fan of LH and what it can do to help people and relationships.
Please Stop being so hard on yourself!
Maybe just me, but you sound like a keeper MSA50!! Doing chores AND wanting to please your OH... She's a lucky lady and I'm sure she knows it)
Thought I'd update everyone. I gave her a massage and then she insisted on giving me a massage, I couldn't refuse. I broached the subject of the 3 wishes, but she didn't react well. She was worried my wishes would be things she didn't want to do and she also didn't want to write them down.
It really came over that the she didn't trust me, even though I tried to reassure her that the wishes could be anything and that I wouldn't ever force her to do anything she didn't want to. Well the moment kind of passed with no clear agreement and she continued to massage me. At the end when we were cleaning up it was obvious I had an errection. I said that we agreed that this was a no intercourse evening, just relaxing, but I may have to masturbate before I settled to sleep. Well she was offended, even though she knows I masturbate, and then insisted on intercourse, it all got a bit difficult, but we made love which we both found unsatisfactory.
We have spoken about the evening and we have looked on the relate website for help. Our relationship needs much more help than just sex. Well that's it for now, we need to discuss and work through our personal issues, before returning to improving our sex life.
We have known each other for 36 years, been married 25 years and have 2 teenage daughters. Work, family and life has taken its toll on our ability to communicate. I pick that up a lot on many of the threads I read, communication and keeping up honest communication is key to long lasting and loving relationship. Wish me luck.