Hi all, its been a long time and hope all well.......Firstly let me say I am heterosexual, adore my wife, and the female sex and I don't find men sexually attractive at all.
Now heres the conundrum
Over about the past year I have felt the urge to perform oral on another guy, just to know what its like. I have admitted such to my OH, and athough she herself is bi, my admission didn't receive a rave reception. I haven't done it and without her support I wouldn't - but the urge remains
Anyone else out there had such an urge, even though you are straight and couldn't contemplate a same sex relationship?
I can't say I've ever had 'an urge', but from time to time I've wondered what it's like, so I'd say it's just natural human curiosity more than anything else.
I think that it is quite normal for people to have fantasies about the same sex, even if they don't class themselves as gay or even Bi, I know I do it sometimes myself. It doesn't mean that you want to go and act on those fantasies.
I don't think that anyone is 100% one way or the other, but there is a preference which we have, I prefer to be in a relationship with a man, I prefer men, but it doesn't mean that I don't fantasise about women, just at this moment in time I don't want a relationship with a women, I probably never will, but I am not going to rule out the possibility of it ever happening.
I wouldn't worry about it, fantasy is one thing, real life is something very different.
Thanks both. I think though boobaloo that given the licence and freedom that the fantasy would need to be fulfilled. Box ticked. The strange thing is I wouldn't want anything at all reciprocated other than from my OH of course!!
I know someone who would say they're straight and only wants a relationship with females BUT has had a man perform oral on him because he wanted to know what it was about.
I totally couldn't see myself as being in a relationship with a female but I have wondered what it would be like to play/suck another womens nipples - just because I wonder how sexy it would be. In reality (for me) I don't think I'd do it as it's a fleeting thought but I don't think it makes you gay or bi because you'd actually like to do it.
I think if you're feelings developed about it (one way or another) after you'd had the opportunity to give oral to another man (hypothetically at the moment in view of your wifes reaction) then maybe you'd have to reassess it but at the end of the day its just a label.
Who cares if you're bi or straight as long as you're happy. If your wife lets you experiment, consider the actual implications - perhaps its a fantasy because it's never likely to happen, so you fantasise about it even more?
Sounds like a fantasy of wanting to know how something feels that maybe you enjoy having done to you so you would like to experince the joy of giving it back . All sounds perfectly normal to me.
As with some fantasies they are best left as that due to the impact they can havie on your relationship.
It's quite common to fantasise about things like this, either from idle curiosity or from a genuine desire to experience it. I know I have, and I'm not interested in men at all. Either way, I'd say if you're not finding you have a crush on a particular man, but rather the idea of a generic male partner, then there's probably nothing major changing in your sexuality.
However, I wouldn't worry too much about applying a label to yourself or your feelings. You are who you are, and that encompasses more than any pigeon-hole can possibly contain. Just be open and aware of your own desires, and things should all work out fine in the end.
Another thing - if your wife has a problem with this, especially since she should understand where you're coming from (so to speak) it might be worth finding out exactly why she's not so keen on this side of your fantasy life. Making sure you're both clear on the issues now will help you communicate better if anything more turns up later.
Some very constructive and sympathetc comments so far - thanks for that. The OH does undertand I think, it's that I think she was surprised by 'macho' old me having these thoughts. We watch a particular piece of porn where this guy is being brought off orally/by hand by his girlfriend (nothing unusual there) and she knows that in my fantasy I am that girlfriend.
Mr Monster is right, it is a generic fantasy and maybe somthing to feel comfortable with rather than confused by
I am definitely bi, so perhaps I'm not the best person to comment, but here goes anyway.
My feeling is that the majority of people have the ability to enjoy sex with the same sex. Social norms and religious strictures are such though that many repress their natural urges or are repelled by them.
The only way to find out if you really like same sex activity would be to try it. And it's perfectly possible that the first time you try it, you don't click with the other person. On the other hand you might love it and fall in love. In which case you might be putting your marriage at risk.
Love strikes in strange places and even though you can't contemplate a same sex relationship now, the objections might bring down after a night of gay sex.
I need a willing volenteer to help me act out my shoe fantasies.. Doubt there are many willing volenteers out there though. :-(
You know what? I'd volunteer for that. I mean, if I weren't miles away and all. But shoe fantasies? Sounds like the sort of thing I'd be able to cope with.
I would say you're still straight, you just want to know what it's like on the other side, no sudden need to re-define yourself!
And honestly, I've had enough dalliances when men who said they were straight (and in a few cases, married - yes, loose morals, I was drunk) to know that come the morning, you'll still be straight and have no desire to suddenly leave everything.
Awesome to behold, darling! I take an 8, exceeeeeedingly wide fitting, but you'll never find a calf-high boot to fit my legs. So I guess it's ankle boots or lower. . .
Lovehoney - Numbers wrote:
I mean, I'm good, but not that good!
Hey, Numbers, maybe you are - I mean, have you checked? Perhaps all those men did develop an overnight penchant for their new-found lifestyle choice! The question is, do you really want to phone them up and ask?
So I guess it's ankle boots or lower. . .