Anal Training, Advice Please

Hi Cap54, when you say struggling does that mean you can't get it in or that you find it painful?

If it's the first perhaps you should try something 1" thick to start off with. After warming up with a one incher you will probably find that a one-and-half incher will go in without too much trouble.

Also when you are tight down there, you might find that warming up with a vibrator on your anal sphincter will help you relax. Remember that the average poo is often more than an inch thick and that comes out without hurting, so it should be physically possible to put something up there of the same diameter without much pain.

Jo wrote:

Surely everyone has its own tastes. But I cannot miss noticing that you rach74 and Elle are women and women are wired differently than men (so I think). Women receive and enjoy penetration, vagina or anus is a major or minor detail, depending on the woman concerned. I had a girl who would have explosive orgasms via annal , and a girl who would not allow me to even touch her on the back hole.

For straight men, like myself, I cannot see how and why would I enjoy something up my bum! Homosexuals, sure I understand, but LH has no prospects selling anything butt related to me.

It's interesting that many of us - women, that is - enjoy having things up our bums, or would at least consider the idea, while very few straight men would ever countenance anything along those lines.

That's odd in a way, because our anuses are exactly the same as guys'! But that said, we don't have prostate glands, which as I understand it, is part of male pleasure from anal.

However, a woman's rectum is very near her vagina, and that difference in the wiring, which you allude to, might be part of the reason anal sex feels nice for us. Sometimes, when I'm penetrated anally, I can feel it in my vagina and clitoris - albeit dully and vaguely, and often not at all. I suppose it's pushing through from my rectum. But I'm no anatomist, and this may just be my imagination!

I suppose a more important reason is that, as women, we are used to being penetrated - to having our lover put part of their body inside ours. Psychologically, the switch from vagina to anus is a smaller step than for a guy to contemplate the daunting novelty of being penetrated.

Also, because of the mechanics of "normal sex", the female anus is demystified, and always in the mix, as it were. During the act, it's often exposed and on display. Depending on the position, when I have sex I become quite conscious of my bumhole - I know my lover can see it, and is aware of it. And as it's so close to the regular sexual parts, it requires no great physical or mental leap to bring it into play, sexually. Sometimes it can feel like a very natural progression.

Compare that with the interior of a man's bum - it's much more hidden away, and more disconnected from the act of sex. Not completely, of course, because if you play with his balls, you get very close. But you know what I mean. And I think that might be why anal sex feels for some women more of a viable practice than it does for most men.

Julie_L wrote:

I suppose a more important reason is that, as women, we are used to being penetrated - to having our lover put part of their body inside ours. Psychologically, the switch from vagina to anus is a smaller step than for a guy to contemplate the daunting novelty of being penetrated.

Also, because of the mechanics of "normal sex", the female anus is demystified, and always in the mix, as it were. During the act, it's often exposed and on display. Depending on the position, when I have sex I become quite conscious of my bumhole - I know my lover can see it, and is aware of it. And as it's so close to the regular sexual parts, it requires no great physical or mental leap to bring it into play, sexually. Sometimes it can feel like a very natural progression.

Compare that with the interior of a man's bum - it's much more hidden away, and more disconnected from the act of sex. Not completely, of course, because if you play with his balls, you get very close. But you know what I mean. And I think that might be why anal sex feels for some women more of a viable practice than it does for most men.

One could not have explained it better, Julie!

I'm glad that made sense - I was beginning to waffle! That's just the way it seems to me, of course - it's a pretty subjective issue.

ShaftMaster wrote:

Jo wrote:

For straight men, like myself, I cannot see how and why would I enjoy something up my bum! Homosexuals, sure I understand, but LH has no prospects selling anything butt related to me.

Jo,

The way I see it, men enjoying something up their bum isn't about who they're attracted too, it's about having nerve endings! And yes it's not for everyone, but just because I don't see how snowballing can be enjoyable, I'm not knocking those who do.

Well said SM. Beautifully put. My partner is definitely straight, but has discovered that he really really enjoys some gentle stimulation there. Nothing more than my tongue or a finger at the moment, but that's not to say he might not want to try a toy one day. There's nothing gay about it - after all, it's me doing it to him, and I'm definitely a girly!

Cap 54 - I've got this Tracy Cox butt plug set and they're great

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16561

Not too big at all, you can start with the smaller one and build up, and the shape makes them easy to manage - they just slide in allowing you to stretch open gradually and take the widest part with no trouble. They need LOTS of lube though as they tend to asorb a lot of it. Good luck to you and happy exploring!

SS xx

Jo wrote:

Julie_L wrote:

I suppose a more important reason is that, as women, we are used to being penetrated - to having our lover put part of their body inside ours. Psychologically, the switch from vagina to anus is a smaller step than for a guy to contemplate the daunting novelty of being penetrated.

Also, because of the mechanics of "normal sex", the female anus is demystified, and always in the mix, as it were. During the act, it's often exposed and on display. Depending on the position, when I have sex I become quite conscious of my bumhole - I know my lover can see it, and is aware of it. And as it's so close to the regular sexual parts, it requires no great physical or mental leap to bring it into play, sexually. Sometimes it can feel like a very natural progression.

Compare that with the interior of a man's bum - it's much more hidden away, and more disconnected from the act of sex. Not completely, of course, because if you play with his balls, you get very close. But you know what I mean. And I think that might be why anal sex feels for some women more of a viable practice than it does for most men.

One could not have explained it better, Julie!

Just cos it's more viable for women, doesn't mean that homosexual men are the guys who should/would do it. From what I hear, prostate massage can be rather enjoyable, regardless.


Well said SM. Beautifully put. My partner is definitely straight, but has discovered that he really really enjoys some gentle stimulation there. Nothing more than my tongue or a finger at the moment, but that's not to say he might not want to try a toy one day. There's nothing gay about it - after all, it's me doing it to him, and I'm definitely a girly!

Cap 54 - I've got this Tracy Cox butt plug set and they're great

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16561

Not too big at all, you can start with the smaller one and build up, and the shape makes them easy to manage - they just slide in allowing you to stretch open gradually and take the widest part with no trouble. They need LOTS of lube though as they tend to asorb a lot of it. Good luck to you and happy exploring!

SS xx

They look *really* nice! (Note to self: invest in some).

It's lovely that for you guys anal pleasure is something you can share and reciprocate. When I've been in relationships when it's only me who "receives", as it were, it seems a shallower experience.

You raise a good point in that anal play really doesn't need to involve much anything large or invasive - just a light touch here and there can be just as rewarding.

ShaftMaster wrote:

Jo wrote:

Julie_L wrote:

I suppose a more important reason is that, as women, we are used to being penetrated - to having our lover put part of their body inside ours. Psychologically, the switch from vagina to anus is a smaller step than for a guy to contemplate the daunting novelty of being penetrated.

Also, because of the mechanics of "normal sex", the female anus is demystified, and always in the mix, as it were. During the act, it's often exposed and on display. Depending on the position, when I have sex I become quite conscious of my bumhole - I know my lover can see it, and is aware of it. And as it's so close to the regular sexual parts, it requires no great physical or mental leap to bring it into play, sexually. Sometimes it can feel like a very natural progression.

Compare that with the interior of a man's bum - it's much more hidden away, and more disconnected from the act of sex. Not completely, of course, because if you play with his balls, you get very close. But you know what I mean. And I think that might be why anal sex feels for some women more of a viable practice than it does for most men.

One could not have explained it better, Julie!

Just cos it's more viable for women, doesn't mean that homosexual men are the guys who should/would do it. From what I hear, prostate massage can be rather enjoyable, regardless.

Listen, brother, you have become way too defensive!

No one is saying that you a gey because you are trying an annal. Just try to enjoy the conversation here rather than picking on what other's might or might not mean with their posts. I said it many times before and since you seem to take a keen interest in my posts, you might have come across it: 'Be positive!'

Didn't mean to be defensive. Apologies if I read your posts wrong, but after someone asks for advice on anal play, you were the one suggestin against it, and bringing up the homosexual thing. Just kinda figured since you weren't answering the question, you were posting on the wrong thread.

Jo wrote:

seriously, a man has got a dick to use, play and enjoy. Your bum is perfectly good they way it is, no need to poke it fingers or dildos.

Jo wrote:

I cannot see how and why would I enjoy something up my bum! Homosexuals, sure I understand

ShaftMaster, deviations are inevitable in any conversations. A little grace here and there goes a long way!

Re link between homosexuals and annal pleasure: it is pretty simple! Gey will normally enjoy annal play, but enjoying annal does not make you gey!

Let's get the post back on track now!

Annal Training, Advice Please!

[and the next presenter/expert witness/professional counselor ii-iiis...]

ShaftMaster wrote:

The way I see it, men enjoying something up their bum isn't about who they're attracted too, it's about having nerve endings! And yes it's not for everyone, but just because I don't see how snowballing can be enjoyable, I'm not knocking those who do.

Don't worry Jo, already know there's not a link between anal pleasure and being gay.

Jo wrote:

Surely everyone has its own tastes. But I cannot miss noticing that you rach74 and Elle are women and women are wired differently than men (so I think). Women receive and enjoy penetration, vagina or anus is a major or minor detail, depending on the woman concerned. I had a girl who would have explosive orgasms via annal , and a girl who would not allow me to even touch her on the back hole.

For straight men, like myself, I cannot see how and why would I enjoy something up my bum! Homosexuals, sure I understand, but LH has no prospects selling anything butt related to me.

In point of fact apart from having bits that look rather different the nerve connections in men and women are broadly comparable. I don't think you are correct if are you saying all women enjoy penetration. I have met several women who do not. Also I don't agree that the choice of vagina or anus is a detail.

Why should homosexuals find it acceptable to have something up the bum and straight men not? There are plenty of gay men who don't like being penetrated.

You seem to have based your remarks on outmoded and stereotyped views of human sexuality. Please be more considerate next time.

atlanta wrote:


You seem to have based your remarks on outmoded and stereotyped views of human sexuality. Please be more considerate next time.

You seem to try to tell me what my views should be!?! Please don't, you will not succeed!

And be more considered next time you try to confront other members on this forum! Thanks

Your fantasy is nice and very few males love to do that. U must apply lots of lubricant on your ass and the play with dildos from thin to thick, u will enjoy.

Regards - jee

Jo wrote:

atlanta wrote:

You seem to have based your remarks on outmoded and stereotyped views of human sexuality. Please be more considerate next time.

You seem to try to tell me what my views should be!?! Please don't, you will not succeed!

And be more considered next time you try to confront other members on this forum! Thanks

No I'm not telling you what your views should be. I'm just saying that your information seems to be based on ideas that were current 50 years ago. But hey, if you want to live in the past that's fine by me, just as you don't expect me to agree with you.

Thanks for all your comments and advice, I have now reached my goal, using copious amounts of lube and starting of small and building up in size over about 30 minutes the feeling was amazing, I'am glad I didn't give up.