I'd definitely advise the Tracey Cox bullet! I'm pretty much in the same boat as you I can't ever seem to switch off,maybe try a hot soak in the bath with a few candles (nothing more relaxing than a hot bath). & as for introducing your toy I'd 100% advise a bullet because its something you can use on the both of you great for the tip of him he can use it on you around the nipples just say its to make things a little more adventurous..my partner wasnt built up on the idea but once he'd seen the size he was more than happy :) hope this helps. Good luck on your journey!
Thanks for your reply, nice to know I'm not alone! Glad the Tracey Cox has been recommended, hearing more and more good things about it. It's pretty hard to relax, I just seem to be stressed or depressed the majority of the time, the only place I'm pretty much happy is at work because I have to (customer service, the joys!). Don't get me wrong, partner makes me very happy, but there are just some things that you can't talk to a guy about, right?!
Not sure how he would feel about it, I know this sounds strange but should I ask? If so, how? His ex partner was very withdrawn and they hardly ever had sex so all of this 'someone wanting to be with him' thing is a bit new to him! Do you think a vibrator would scare him a little?
Thanks again for replying, was starting to feel like I am the only person in the world that can't get mentally into it!
Don 't say anything to him now.... go order yourself one, give it a try, not once but a few times and see if you enjoy it.... Then decide if you want him to know and if you'd like to try things with him....
no point paniciking or thinking theres something wrong in what your doing..... it's not and it's healty.
I'm sure every couple here will tell you it's helped them as a couple...
Go order yourself on and let us know how you get on.
Don 't say anything to him now.... go order yourself one, give it a try, not once but a few times and see if you enjoy it.... Then decide if you want him to know and if you'd like to try things with him....
no point paniciking or thinking theres something wrong in what your doing..... it's not and it's healty.
I'm sure every couple here will tell you it's helped them as a couple...
Go order yourself on and let us know how you get on.
Good luck, relax and enjoy.
thanks for your advice, hoping that if i start to get comfortable with it then hell be more than happy to accommodate it into our sex life. Just to let everyone know i bit the bullet (excuse the pun) and ordered myself a Tracey Cox vibrator! Ill let you all know how it goes.
I'm sure every couple here will tell you it's helped them as a couple...
Hell yea - buying our first sex toy for solo and joint play has most definitely strengthened us inside and outside the bedroom. :)
great to know! Was your partner open to the idea or did it take a little coaxing? Am hoping that if i like this vibrator and he sees that it makes me happy hell be more than willing but his ex partner never wanted to have sex with him so don't want to rush or scare him.
Well I'm older than you are (I'm assuming), and we'd been together for a long time. We had tried a vibe in the past, a few years into our relationship but it did my head in. It was way too buzzy and just well... tacky. But a few months back we were having a chat (and playing a board game called Lust - which is amazing for intimacy and sharing thoughts) and decided we'd try again. It may even have been his suggestion. I won't lie, the main purpose of our first vibe was to use together, but I definitely indulge in a little bit of solo play which hasn't replaced him, but made me want him more. The more you think about it the more you want it after all. (And solo play is my way of thinking about it!)
My OH was open to it, the bullet mini are really more of solo use I think... others might disagree, but it's a great starter and as LetsTryThis this said a vibe is more solo and I'd agree, but g-spot vibes are a good couple vibe and as you feel more comfortable you can try new things......
The big thing is communucation with your OH, he'll keep asking if he's doing it right, is it on the right spot etc etc....but it's a learning process.
My OH was open to it, the bullet mini are really more of solo use I think... others might disagree, but it's a great starter and as LetsTryThis this said a vibe is more solo and I'd agree, but g-spot vibes are a good couple vibe and as you feel more comfortable you can try new things......
The big thing is communucation with your OH, he'll keep asking if he's doing it right, is it on the right spot etc etc....but it's a learning process.
I think you misunderstood me :) We brought a 'traditional' vibe for couple play. We use it mainly together as part of our foreplay. But I have also used alone. (I mean what girl is going to have that sort of power on hand and not be tempted, right?). ;)
I would also disagree about the bullet vibe being more for solo. Again great for foreplay, but also far easier to hold against the clit during intercourse than a full on vibe. (But I have my eyes on things like the We-Vibe just a shame it appears to be the marmite of the sex toy world!) And a bullet is also far easier to stroke him with that a full on traditional vibe.
I wholeheartedly agree that communication is the biggy. Without that everything else is doomed to fail. :)
Well I'm older than you are (I'm assuming), and we'd been together for a long time. We had tried a vibe in the past, a few years into our relationship but it did my head in. It was way too buzzy and just well... tacky. But a few months back we were having a chat (and playing a board game called Lust - which is amazing for intimacy and sharing thoughts) and decided we'd try again. It may even have been his suggestion. I won't lie, the main purpose of our first vibe was to use together, but I definitely indulge in a little bit of solo play which hasn't replaced him, but made me want him more. The more you think about it the more you want it after all. (And solo play is my way of thinking about it!)
ahh right. My ex partner basically just assumed that we would use them together which put me off the idea altogether because i felt forced into it. But my current partner is much more understanding. Maybe if i did try on my own and let him know hed want to get involved with it?
My OH was open to it, the bullet mini are really more of solo use I think... others might disagree, but it's a great starter and as LetsTryThis this said a vibe is more solo and I'd agree, but g-spot vibes are a good couple vibe and as you feel more comfortable you can try new things......
The big thing is communucation with your OH, he'll keep asking if he's doing it right, is it on the right spot etc etc....but it's a learning process.
I think you misunderstood me :) We brought a 'traditional' vibe for couple play. We use it mainly together as part of our foreplay. But I have also used alone. (I mean what girl is going to have that sort of power on hand and not be tempted, right?). ;)
I would also disagree about the bullet vibe being more for solo. Again great for foreplay, but also far easier to hold against the clit during intercourse than a full on vibe. (But I have my eyes on things like the We-Vibe just a shame it appears to be the marmite of the sex toy world!) And a bullet is also far easier to stroke him with that a full on traditional vibe.
I wholeheartedly agree that communication is the biggy. Without that everything else is doomed to fail. :)
With reference to using vibes with a partner, i really like the idea of using it for clitoral stimulation whilst having intercourse. I say i don't like touching myself but have just lately found that i don't mind so much giving myself a boost when hes inside me if you catch my drift. Good plan guys. Agree that everyone is different i think ill just have to go for it and see what happens, ill keep you posted. Should arrive tomorrow!! Might treat myself to a naughty shower lol
Why don't you try a cock ring? It makes it a little more fun for both of you? That was the first thing me and my partner had ever used that's how I ended up with a bullet after we'd tried that..helps ease him into using toys I suppose..& believe me you really aren't the only one lol I've never been able to switch off but I put that down to having a 19 month old making me bald with stress!
Why don't you try a cock ring? It makes it a little more fun for both of you? That was the first thing me and my partner had ever used that's how I ended up with a bullet after we'd tried that..helps ease him into using toys I suppose..& believe me you really aren't the only one lol I've never been able to switch off but I put that down to having a 19 month old making me bald with stress!
sounds like a good idea! Just not too sure cause he has a little trouble maintaining an erection :\ so not sure whether it would make him feel a little let down if he couldn't. And haha! Yeah i can imagine that would stress you out :P bless you.
Rings make you harder for longer apprently,so it could maybe work :) still treat yourself to a bullet though you can always show him after youve had a play with the ring.
Let us know how you get on :D Good Luck!
Rings make you harder for longer apprently,so it could maybe work :) still treat yourself to a bullet though you can always show him after youve had a play with the ring.
Let us know how you get on :D Good Luck!
I don't suffer with any issues but they can just sometimes make you that little bit harder or hold some blood in there, also they can be placed at the base of the shaft or you can strech it over the balls too, they are cheap and i'd reccomend 2 one around the base of the shaft and one around the testicles.... I do this sometimes (it helps slow things down if it's been a while)
You've had lots of sound advice.... I'd be inclined to buy whatever it is you fancy for solo play.... And when you feel the time is right casually mention toys and gauge his reaction to it, some men love finding out that their women are adventurous and others feel threated, if he's the former great you could browse together if he seems to be the latter just brush the conversation off as "just a thought" ....
I really enjoyed reading the grey series of books and have discovered porn hub on the Internet ( via my 13 yr old soon - eek ) but, there's free downloadable videos virus free !!