Yesterday I was home alone and horny so got my toys out and spent some time enjoying myself. When I came, it was one of the most intense orgasms I have ever had and I squirted (something hubby is desperate for me to do) last night in bed I mentioned what had happened earlier (should've kept quiet perhaps) and hubby was really upset and annoyed that I had done it without him. We have a dom/sub relationship so I of course, was punished for my actions! He has gone to work this morning without saying a word and has text to me say he is still displeased.
The issue I have us I can't relax enough around him to fully let myself go during orgasms and always stop him before I get to the point of squirting, how do I relax?
That's a difficult one, does your hubby know that your struggling to relax or hae you kept this to yourself?
Having been where you are my advise would be to maybe put the dom/sub side on hold for a while and spend some time on each other, talk it through with him and that he will have to be patient with you. When you get to a place your confortable you can pick that side of things back up.
Relaxing is all in the mind, so what do you do alone that's different? Have you maybe considered solo play but letting him watch?
Not sure how strict your D/s relationship with your hubby is, but if he's into orgasm denial then maybe he's upset you made yourself orgasm without his permission. And the fact that you gave yourself a really intense one, maybe he feels frustrated that it wasn't him who gave it to you?
in any case, as Tink says, if you can revert to more vanilla sex for a while and just learn to relax with him, like maybe have some massage and romance before getting down to sex, then it will happen with him. To squirt I need to be really relaxed, and not pressurised whether that comes from me or my OH, so initially I only did it during solo play. But after a while, I could do it with my OH.
I do think letting him watch while you play with yourself might work.
Would it be possible for you to be a bad sub, and tie him up, or handcuff him to the bed so you can have the power for one evening and make him watch you play with yourself. When you solo play you have all the power and maybe this is part of the problem. If you were going to try this I would not ask him I would just try it and enjoy the consequences of your punishment later.
Thanks for the replies. He knows I don't fully relax with him and he worries about making me happy and wants to give me everything. Think we will try him watching me and see if he notices any differences in his methods and mine. Vanilla might be the way to go