alone4ever wrote:
Hi Mysteron
It's been a long time since I posted on here, but as I'm an avid sub I thought I would give it a go.
Try buying a good sturdy wide dog collar and lead; to use as a slave collar. LH may stock something, but taking a look on the dom section may give you some ideas even if the idea of a whip makes you feel ready to run and lock yourself in the loo. She will love having control over you without feeling she is going too far, too soon; but watch out women can quickly get a real taste for being dom.
Don't you be too afraid of the whip either, I soon wanted more; spanking is a good way to start and costs nothing, unless you feel you need some after spanking soothing lotion; LH sells it and some lotion for making your bum more sensitive, and flush red quicker. Stick to the fleshy parts of the buttocks, especially if you move on to a whip, or paddle. A good quality whip, can be used to stroke and tease in between strokes, To make a whip really hurt the user must swing high and most importantly follow the stroke through past the point of impact, so avoiding doing this keeps it soft.
Agree on a safe word that can bring proceedings to an immediate halt; sometimes it's good to refuse a command to provoke a dominant response from her, but you have to set the bar, because it's you taking the punishment. Let her know when you like what she does sometimes, for two reasons; 1: she needs to know you are up for what you are doing , and 2: so she has an excuse to punish you for liking her first punishment.
Anyway I could go on for quite sometime from a male perspective, but I won't unless you want more. One last point, reading a book is fine, but don't forget that it's often more fun to find your own way; from the Mrs point of view she is just finding her feet in this so a few pointers will help her get started, but she will enjoy finding what's in her, more than trying to mimic the thoughts of another person; there really is no subsitute for trying things out for yourself. If something doesn't suit you move on to something else, and don't get hung up on a failure; but I have found that if a partner has a real taste for something, and it does nothing for me, that sticking with it turns me round, as her exitement for it makes me want it for her and I end up loving it simply because she does.
Thanks for your input much appreciated. However I have to say I think you are way way ahead of were we are at the moment .At the moment I would be happy for her just to take the lead in the bedroom just for a change ,organise everything and then come and get me. No leather,no collars just for her to be in control for once. I am still unsure about the spanking side of things with us. Whilst its a massive turn on for her to be on the recieiving end, apart from giving me a sore rear once it doesn't do anything for me if being honest. Well not at the moment anyway maybe I need to be hit harder, dunno
Ultimately its going to be very small steps as she does have a confidence issue on top of the normal body confidence issues . The Policewoman unifiorm did give her that confidence so I do know for sure she has it in her. She has used that 3 times now but It would be great if she had thar same confidence without it.Its going to be interesting if she has the same confidence when she dresses up as the School Headmistress
A big challenge but I think its the final piece of the jigsaw in our love lives .