hi there guys, i know this been done a few times but don't like butting into others so thought i'd start this.
i have a question for the mild dom/bdsm fans here. the oh has come out in bed and said to me she wants to be dominated in bed...........ok it's not my expert subject but gonna learn. i know ppl have mwntioend the blog by jess - which have given a quick flick, but can give a few tips to a noob? also can any of you guys reccomend any reading books etc to study up on guides/tip/exercises that i can read - on kindle/downloadable is better.
am quite shy by nature and oh complains that im to quiet in bed - well when you have a mouthful its hard to speak lol. so need to break that and try become more what she would like.
Buy this: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=29558. The game allows you to settle before start who will be dominant throughout. The game than will instruct you, give advice, make you try new stuff. I cannot recommend it highly enough!
Myself and my husband are in a similar position. As it's me that's said to my husband that I would like this type of play in the bedroom I'm taking the lead with finding information and gently nudging him in the right direction. There are a few facebook pages that are relevent and one that I read that puts lot's of information links on from places like submissiveloving and submissiveguide.
It can be really fun. The main tip I'd give is not to take it too seriously while you're learning and communicate lots. Good luck
era wrote:
Buy this: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=29558. The game allows you to settle before start who will be dominant throughout. The game than will instruct you, give advice, make you try new stuff. I cannot recommend it highly enough!
Totally seconding this! I still need to write a review but this game is amazing and whenever there is a card you're not comfortable with you can always decide to pass, which is what my OH and I did. It actually has two levels of cards by the way, so you can start of with level 1 and take things nice and easy. Also, for some cards you may need some extra things but they are mentioned in the instructions. Most of the things you may need you probably already have so no need to buy anything extra either. It's a great game for beginners, especially when you may feel a bit nervous!
Some of the books I have found useful include 'Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns' and 'The New Bottoming Book'. I haven't read it but I expect 'The New Topping Book' is likely to be especially helpful for you. While these books are probably aimed at people wanting to get into heavier BDSM, a lot of it will be useful for people at every level (especially the stuff about communication and safety).
You could also join fetlife. You don't have to be into extreme stuff to join though be prepared to see and read things that are at the more extreme end of the spectrum too. There's a group called 'Novices and Newbies' which has lots of useful advice in the stickies.
era wrote:
Buy this: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=29558. The game allows you to settle before start who will be dominant throughout. The game than will instruct you, give advice, make you try new stuff. I cannot recommend it highly enough!
thanks for that, had a look and very interesting. it arrived the other day, knew i was getting something for us to try which was a lead on her idea. but when i showed her the little snigger said it all and was most unhelpful............so sat in draw for couple of days till oh is being sensible again -
treborsrus wrote:
era wrote:
Buy this: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=29558. The game allows you to settle before start who will be dominant throughout. The game than will instruct you, give advice, make you try new stuff. I cannot recommend it highly enough!
thanks for that, had a look and very interesting. it arrived the other day, knew i was getting something for us to try which was a lead on her idea. but when i showed her the little snigger said it all and was most unhelpful............so sat in draw for couple of days till oh is being sensible again -
Sorry to hear that! But if it was her to want you to be more dominant in the first place why did she dismiss the game as an idea? I can honestly say this game has opened a world to us that we both very much enjoy! You could also have an initial look thru all the activity cards and maybe eliminate the ones you would not (yet) feel comfortable doing. Although, the way I see it, if you pick a card during the game that any one of you doesn't want to act upon, you can just take that card and use it as an opportunity to talk about why not. As a little break from the game that also opens you both up about your needs/wants/fantasies AND limits. And if things don't work out, remember you still have one year to return it. But I truly hope you won't need to! ;)