Both too tired

Hello lovelies. We’ve recently welcomed our second child and both suffering from a lack of energy. Babies obviously cause a lack of sleep and we’re both struggling to find time or energy for some classic alone time together for ourselves. Any suggestions?

Can the grandparents not have the baby for an afternoon so you can schedule some time together? Or any relatives or close friends?

1 Like

Unfortunately baby is breastfed and won’t take a bottle which makes it harder (not literally :joy:)

Also we don’t do planned well and think if we were getting a couple of hours we’d probably just go to sleep :joy: feel like it needs to be a build up!

2 Likes

things might just need to be quick for a wee while. a morning roll over quicky, a hop in the shower with you play…but in all honesty a good sleep kinda trumps it all :rofl: this part of your life won’t last foreverbso long as you don’t hop straight into baby number 3!

3 Likes

For us it was almost a year after baby #2… and still a bit longer before sex life returned to normal.

Tiredness is a killer, on sex life, couple life… just be kind and understanding with each other.
We had so many arguments we never finished because we knew they were born out of tiredness.

As the father, i masturbated a lot and tried to remove any pressure to perform from my wife. I still felt frustrated, but what can you do, beside being patient?

Once baby #2 slept through regularly, sexual normality resumed.

3 Likes

Congratulation on the baby, it may get better over time try as @steviefun as said it might need to be quick. Welcome to the forum and I wish you both the best.

1 Like

Thanks for the support all. Both want it but both aware that it may take a while to be the same again!

Don’t start @steviefun there’s already a debate as to wether there’ll be a baby number 3! :joy:

1 Like

You just gotta be spontaneous and squeeze one in whenever the chance arises, it can be very fun to do it that way, you don’t always have to be in the bedroom….

1 Like

It’s a case of having the energy went the moment arises that’s part of the problem :tired_face:

1 Like

My babies are all grown up now but i remember it well , our second was breast fed and wouldnt take a bottle so we were lucky to get a family member give us some peace for 2 hours tops ! Every time we went to bed and slept :joy:
For us sleep was top of the agenda everytime , it got better but it was very slow (not what you want to hear im sure)
We cuddled and kissed still but i was so shattered that was it , i know OH was sorting himself out and i was ok with that .
We stopped at 2 !!!
Hopefully everything will settle into a good routine soon and you will have a bit more energy and time for each other :blush: remember its not forever

2 Likes

Here’s my suggestion…

Start looking at some sexy LH lingerie and send pictures of it to your OH (I did this with my OH and he had me pinned to the bed no sooner had I pressed send lol). Ask which he likes but be sure to only send things that you feel comfortable in. Then send I screenshot of you having ordered it but don’t tell him when it will arrive but remind him daily that it’s on its way :joy:. Also, if you don’t already do so, bring toys into the bedroom. We felt a lull when our youngest was born and it was actually my OH that bought the toy without me knowing. He was like a kid in a sweet shop when it arrived. We’re intimate 3-4 times a week now and I achieve the big O, 100% of the time thanks to the addition of toys. Also, sex is 15-20 minutes max so we don’t even need to stress over when it can happen. It can just be after a bath and BANG (literally), we’re done and both happy :heart:

Also, talk to each other about it. I’m sure you both want it to happen but understand each other first and it’ll go a long way!

2 Likes

With us we were lucky ours loved sleeping, still do :joy:
So when they slept we did do too, which helped when the opportunity was there, to grab a quickie. It’ll be a while to get back to what it was before.
We had ours into a routine from the start, which helped a lot.
Now our sex like is so much more better - thanks to LH :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

2 Likes

Thank you @Dirty-Wife and @Best_Kinky_Couple patience is :key:

I (mr) am sorting myself out lot but if I am having alone time, I like to take my time which isn’t easy when there’s alway someone in the house!

Very jealous @Dirty-Wife if only we had the same luxury :joy:

3 Likes

If I’m going solo I too like to take my time, but that’s difficult for me too, the eldest 2 are at school all day, but the youngest is at nursery, so he does the afternoon, that’s the only best time for me to it, and I’m not always in the mood for that time. Or if I’m in the shower I’ll get ‘mum’ :joy:

1 Like

@slb21 in that case, do it in reverse :heart_eyes: Send the pics to your OH and ask what she likes. My OH does this but he has a bloody obsession with pink, so I sometimes have to remind him that other colours do exist :joy:
The toy thing is also still valid!! As I mentioned, he ordered it as a surprise. And my word, I’m so glad he did.

But do talk, it can make all the difference.

1 Like

Thanks @GoGirl12 think this is the point. Want the quality before anything else!

1 Like

It can be difficult when you can be interrupted at any time and when my children were very young we used to enjoy mutual masterbation and it’s loving and fun

3 Likes

The positive bit of this , is that you said “both” too tired , ie , you’re on the same wavelength.
Maybe , when both the little ones are asleep , you both settle down , with a cup of tea ,and watch telly in each others arms? Maybe , pop up stairs, go into their bedrooms when they are asleep , and look at what you have both created , arm in arm . ( before long , they will have fled the nest , and the house will be so quiet) ?
Dont pressure each other , but make sure you let each other know that you find each other desirable, still .
My ex , not only went off sex , she went off me , totally. Even when I had a near fatal accident, she wouldn’t even hug me ( I begged her for just a hug ) .
Whatever happens, stay close to each other

2 Likes