I mentioned to my boyfriend last week that I bought a vibrator online and he wasn't that enthusiastic because he think it's gonna replace him. We have a long distance relationship and we make it work so we're both happy but since I don't get sex as often as I'd like because of us living far apart, I have to masturbate a lot.
I was getting really sick of my fingers so I decided to invest in a sex toy and he isn't really happy about the vibrator even though it's only 4 inches long and about average girth. He's about 7.5 inches and a bit more than average girth but he's still paranoid about the vibrator replacing him.
I've ordered a bullet today and told him about it and he's really excited about that and I'm assuming that's because it's not in the shape of a penis and it's mainly for basic clit stimulation and I can use it on him as well.
I guess what I'm asking is how do I put his mind at ease about the vibrator?
Honest and ope communication, tell him you have needs, but at the same time you should not have to explain your self to him Offer him the opportunity for him to use them on you or watch youuse them on your self, that will assist him in knowing your not replacing him.
Honesty and sincerity is the key here, my partner used to be the same way, unti he realised that A) I was not going to stop purchasing things based on his inscurities B) did not mean I ws not going to support him by being honest and proiding him the opportunity to `play` with me:)
Lol well he loves the videos I make him. I kinda think he feels more at ease from that because he's seeing me play with the toys and it's like I'm involving him and sharing the experience, even though we aren't in the same room lol
Well I said I'm going to do him some videos of me playing with them anyway lol and he was more pleased about that
I know this is going to sound really boring - but just be careful about sending explicit videos of yourself to your bf.
Obviously I have no idea of your relationship dynamics so forgive me if you think I'm out of order, but vidoes and pics have a habit of turning up on the internet when relationships end!
Well I said I'm going to do him some videos of me playing with them anyway lol and he was more pleased about that
I know this is going to sound really boring - but just be careful about sending explicit videos of yourself to your bf.
Obviously I have no idea of your relationship dynamics so forgive me if you think I'm out of order, but vidoes and pics have a habit of turning up on the internet when relationships end!
Thanks, that's nice of you to give me advice like that but I trust him completely and while he may act like a dick at times, he'd never share stuff like that of me around. I try not to show my face often in the stuff I send him anyway lol
You have done the best thing by telling him about it and bein gopen and honest.
Sending videos is a very nice thing for you to do as well and will no doubt go a long way to keeping him happy.
How about inroducing it in your foreplay when you are both together too?
and why not get him a stroker for his own pleasures
Yeah, I asked if he'd be interested in using the bullet for the foreplay and he said he would. I think the vibrator maybe not at first, he's not as open minded as me about sexual things.
I think he just gets apprehensive about certain things but I take it slowly with him so he doesn't feel freaked out or anything
sounds to me he is breaking through some apprehension and insecurities, its good your supporting of one another. though i agree with what has been said about videos and pics being leaked
I think the video is an excellent idea for getting him more onboard with the idea, provided you are safe about it and everything :) My boyfriend was weird in that he really liked the idea at first (he's quite upset when I don't orgasm) but then I think he started to feel like his fingers/penis weren't good enough and he went off it for a bit. I'd make it clear to him that while the vibrator is nice physically, it's never going to replace sexual intimacy between you two and that it's sex with him in particular which you enjoy and find important. Emphasizing the personal angle should hopefully help him get over his insecurities
Well he said he isn't insecure about it anymore and I kept saying it can't replace you since a vibrator isn't something I can have emotional feelings for and the love I feel for him. Sounds kinda cheesy I guess but I wasn't sure how else to explain it lol