Change your sexuality

Sex Tips & Talk
1

So for ages and forever I did not reveal to my wife, despite her being heavily bicurious, that I had a thing for trans/*REMOVED* porn. Now I was not obsessed but heavily turned on by it. After over 15 years hiding it I finally reveal it. I happily announced on several threads here I was polysexual in liking the female form but with a penis attached was also mightily fine. We also watch naked attraction and both happily rated, via the power of sky plus pause, the bodily parts on show step by step with both of us scoring both sexes. She even offered to allow me to try if I so wanted. Wow. Now all of a sudden...nothing....seriously nothing...no interest. Back to straight.

So can we change sexuality just like that or is it simply turned on by taboos until they are not taboo?

2

Interesting question. Unfortunately I cannot shed any light as I have never changed from straight. No curiosity for same sex at all but hope you find someone who can be more insightful

3

Bigtrak wrote:

So can we change sexuality just like that...

I think sexuality can change over a period time, so it makes sense that is some cases in can be almost instant. Also, I'd suggest that a lack of sexual interest in a person(s) doesn't always denote a change in sexuality.
4

So can we change sexuality just like that or is it simply turned on by taboos until they are not taboo?

I absolutely resinate with what you are saying Bigtrak. I am married, completely straight female however I watch lesbian porn. I have had threesomes with women, and at the time I guess I didn't find those girls attractive so it didn't do anything for me but my fantasy would be aimed towards me and another woman... yet I am totally all for the dick! Love my husband, insanely attraacted to him and want him every day yet for me the idea of some absolutely stunning tattooed female going down on me sends a shiver down my spine. I know though.. if it were to become a reality i'd not be interested in anymore. So maybe its not sexuality but more of a curiosity and once you know it can become a reality it's not so much of a secret or fun anymore? I guess thats why we have fantasies - maybe they are meant to be just that sometimes!

5

I don’t think you can change sexuality just like that however I do believe sexuality is a fluid thing so there’s potential to discover interests and fantasies of being with people of all genders although we may never want to act on them.

6

Sexuality can change over time, and also (as I have done) you make discoveries about your sexuality that help you to work out where you are on the sexuality plain.

I always thought I was a straight-forward heterosexual female, but started by some diversity training I went to because of work, I worked through some things, and realised I was demi-sexual and bi (possbly pan) (ie demi-bi or demi-pan). I feel really comfortable knowing that, and I've gone on to have interesting sexual experiences because of this.

I know someone else (a bloke) who thought he was gay, but that didn't feel right, and over time, he realised he was actually a trans woman, but even better, a trans lesbian. Now she is part way through life and happy for the first time in her life.

So a lot of sexuality is about discovery, being honest with yourself and working things through.

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MrandMrs_L wrote:

So can we change sexuality just like that or is it simply turned on by taboos until they are not taboo?

I absolutely resinate with what you are saying Bigtrak. I am married, completely straight female however I watch lesbian porn. I have had threesomes with women, and at the time I guess I didn't find those girls attractive so it didn't do anything for me but my fantasy would be aimed towards me and another woman... yet I am totally all for the dick! Love my husband, insanely attraacted to him and want him every day yet for me the idea of some absolutely stunning tattooed female going down on me sends a shiver down my spine. I know though.. if it were to become a reality i'd not be interested in anymore. So maybe its not sexuality but more of a curiosity and once you know it can become a reality it's not so much of a secret or fun anymore? I guess thats why we have fantasies - maybe they are meant to be just that sometimes!

I love this post from 'MrandMrs_L'.

I can totally relate to this apart from the fact I've never had a threesome (although I have fantasised about it, FFM combo.)

I agree that a woman can have a fantasy about interacting sexually with another woman. The female form is so beautiful and I can't help but be intrigued by my own boobs and body shape in the mirror. I guess that's why I like to 'just notice' other females' bodies (as many a male and female do!)

I love my husband and like you say love his dick and everything about him. He is my soul mate.

I quite agree with the beautiful tattooed woman concept, but it just remains a fantasy and I guess that's the excitement and turn-on of it all (like a man will notice a beautiful woman in a similar way).

It's really interesting as I've never been able to discuss this with anyone before. I've always felt a bit different in a quirky way, if you like and I enjoy the fact that I appreciate both the physical and internal beauty in someone (whether male or female).

I know I'm not gay, but I love appreciating the female form. Now that I can talk about it on here, I think that's healthy for me and don't feel guilty anymore for feeling that way.

Thank you for your honest post on here. x 😊

8

Emerald269 wrote:

MrandMrs_L wrote:

So can we change sexuality just like that or is it simply turned on by taboos until they are not taboo?

I absolutely resinate with what you are saying Bigtrak. I am married, completely straight female however I watch lesbian porn. I have had threesomes with women, and at the time I guess I didn't find those girls attractive so it didn't do anything for me but my fantasy would be aimed towards me and another woman... yet I am totally all for the dick! Love my husband, insanely attraacted to him and want him every day yet for me the idea of some absolutely stunning tattooed female going down on me sends a shiver down my spine. I know though.. if it were to become a reality i'd not be interested in anymore. So maybe its not sexuality but more of a curiosity and once you know it can become a reality it's not so much of a secret or fun anymore? I guess thats why we have fantasies - maybe they are meant to be just that sometimes!

I love this post from 'MrandMrs_L'.

I can totally relate to this apart from the fact I've never had a threesome (although I have fantasised about it, FFM combo.)

I agree that a woman can have a fantasy about interacting sexually with another woman. The female form is so beautiful and I can't help but be intrigued by my own boobs and body shape in the mirror. I guess that's why I like to 'just notice' other females' bodies (as many a male and female do!)

I love my husband and like you say love his dick and everything about him. He is my soul mate.

I quite agree with the beautiful tattooed woman concept, but it just remains a fantasy and I guess that's the excitement and turn-on of it all (like a man will notice a beautiful woman in a similar way).

It's really interesting as I've never been able to discuss this with anyone before. I've always felt a bit different in a quirky way, if you like and I enjoy the fact that I appreciate both the physical and internal beauty in someone (whether male or female).

I know I'm not gay, but I love appreciating the female form. Now that I can talk about it on here, I think that's healthy for me and don't feel guilty anymore for feeling that way.

Thank you for your honest post on here. x 😊

I love this Emerald269.

In no way are you different and we are all here because we want the support of others on our own sexual ventures, whatever that may be. I love that you have finally been able to talk openly about your own fantasies and absolutely, it's so healthy. Never ever feel guilty!!!!!

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I'm so relieved that someone like you understands 'MrandMrs_L'.

It has actually something I have been battling with myself with for a long time, questioning whether my behaviour was normal or not (being a straight married female).

Looking at it from someone else's perspective has made it seem more acceptable a feeling to me and it is obviously part of who I am sexually. 'You' accept this revelation about me for a start, and I do for you.

I was always worried it would upset my hubby if I said; 'I do find some women very attractive' and that he would think I'd turned gay (not that there's anything wrong with that whatsoever, it just wouldn't be fair on my hubby - especially if I didn't tell him).

I think the reality of it is, lots of men have FFM fantasies and as I said, if they are allowed to appreciate the female form (and not act on it if they are in a committed relationship), why can't I do the same?

I think he has an inclination that I find women attractive as I've watched FFM porn with him and have been to Amsterdam with him to admire the pretty women in the windows.

I don't really think he minds deep down, I've tried to be subtle about it as I was worried of how he'd react. I accept that he will notice a beautiful lady from time to time. So, I don't think there's any harm being done.

It's quite interesting to me that I prefer noticing other women than men. Maybe it's because I know I've got the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, both emotionally and sexually. I know he's meant for me and he feels the same about me too.

I look at other women as If I'd noticed a yummy cake or that gorgeous dress in the window. I don't have to have those things, I can just admire them. 😉

Just thanks for your kind and reassuring words. I can't thank you enough for making me feel at ease with myself and just so glad you've posted about this and I'm not alone in my thoughts and feelings anymore. xx

10

Emerald269 wrote:

I'm so relieved that someone like you understands 'MrandMrs_L'.

It has actually something I have been battling with myself with for a long time, questioning whether my behaviour was normal or not (being a straight married female).

Looking at it from someone else's perspective has made it seem more acceptable a feeling to me and it is obviously part of who I am sexually. 'You' accept this revelation about me for a start, and I do for you.

I was always worried it would upset my hubby if I said; 'I do find some women very attractive' and that he would think I'd turned gay (not that there's anything wrong with that whatsoever, it just wouldn't be fair on my hubby - especially if I didn't tell him).

I think the reality of it is, lots of men have FFM fantasies and as I said, if they are allowed to appreciate the female form (and not act on it if they are in a committed relationship), why can't I do the same?

I think he has an inclination that I find women attractive as I've watched FFM porn with him and have been to Amsterdam with him to admire the pretty women in the windows.

I don't really think he minds deep down, I've tried to be subtle about it as I was worried of how he'd react. I accept that he will notice a beautiful lady from time to time. So, I don't think there's any harm being done.

It's quite interesting to me that I prefer noticing other women than men. Maybe it's because I know I've got the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, both emotionally and sexually. I know he's meant for me and he feels the same about me too.

I look at other women as If I'd noticed a yummy cake or that gorgeous dress in the window. I don't have to have those things, I can just admire them. 😉

Just thanks for your kind and reassuring words. I can't thank you enough for making me feel at ease with myself and just so glad you've posted about this and I'm not alone in my thoughts and feelings anymore. xx

You should have a conversation with him if that is something you feel you need to do. It's not a big deal though, so don't think you have to make it into one.

The other day, myself and Mr L were talking about fantasies. He said that he loved the idea of MMF threesome with me and seeing me basically being with him and another guy (our threesome was FFM) and that although he fantasied about it he wouldn't want to act on it. I said to him, phew now I can tell you my fantasy! I said I quite like the idea of lesbians, he giggled and that was that really. I said I wouldn't act on it either and was happy for it just to be one of my kinks. Since then I have gone on to privately read erotic stories an watch porn catered to Lesbians and I really enjoy it and it's just 'my thing' now. We are all allowed a thing, aren't we? :-)

Always here for you Emerald269 and find it quite commical reading your replies is like reading my life! Haha!

Sorry for hikacking your post Bigtrak, but hopefully our conversation has opened your eyes a little and you can relate?

11

Thanks so much 'MrandMrs_L', it means the world to me what you've just said! You are so very kind and endearing.

I like watching Lesbian porn and reading erotic books of the same nature too! lol. What are the chances of our 'such' similarities eh?...it's so brightened my day though!

So sorry to you too 'Bigtrak', but can't thank you enough for starting this thread.

It's helped me more than you will know and I hope you get some perspective for yourself from the comments posted. x ☺

12

Emerald269 wrote:

I look at other women as If I'd noticed a yummy cake or that gorgeous dress in the window. I don't have to have those things, I can just admire them. 😉

I get just as embarrassed talking to attractive women as I do attractive men now! I try not to worry anymore about who or what I find attractive, I just try to enjoy it. After having lost interest in sex completely I am happy to feel attracted to anyone!

As I feel like I’m married to the only straight male in the UK who has absolutely no interest in FFM (even just discussing it / talking about it as a fantasy makes him uncomfortable), any interest in women is just as you describe it Emerald: window shopping!

Thanks Bigtrak for kicking this off, I hope it is some comfort to you that there are some of us who know what you mean, the weirdness of desires that come and go.