Chastity cages - tips and suggestions please

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There is no right or wrong answer, it really depends on what you both want.

It would be fairly normal to start slowly, short sessions, limited orgasm denial for him etc, but as he gets used to it (or you do) the length of lockups could extend and/or frequency of orgasms for him reduces.

Teasing could be texting him,l during the day, hinting at letting him out, getttling yoir fill or pleasure then denying releasing him.

Release him and play/trase in whatever manner you enjoy, make him beg for an orgasm then decide yay or nay.

Get him used to the idea that being released from cage isnt a guarantee or orgasm.

As for whats in it for him -

There is a weird pleasure /pain element wearing a cage, its like someone is constantly holding and squeezing. Erections can be painful especially with the ring, but this is also part of the fun

Orgasm fenial is also quite addictive, you get quite a buzz getting aroused, it then takes a long time to come down as there isnt the release that an orgasm brings.

Best advise is though, have fun with it, try different things and communicate both ways as to what you bith liked or disliked about a scenario.

One thing we did which i liked was draw a card from a deck. The njmber on the card represented the time period before i was allowed an orgasm, only Mrs Sen knew the number. We only did this a few times before we atopped chastity play, but it was fun

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@FortySomethingWife in answer to your questions I can only answer for me personally as the caveat. This journey as with all starts with a conversation as I suspect you have done.

  1. did I hand the key back too soon?
    Personally yes, my Oh sends me to work caged and if she overnights with friends then yep I stay caged up.
  2. are cages safe to be worn for great lengths of time?
    I have read on here people that do for prolonged period’s, is it safe, I wouldn’t say I not a medical professional. My longest period has been a week with no issues. I would say though it is also the design of the cage. You definitely wouldn’t want anything that could chafe, an issue I had with a plastic version where the ring sat.
  3. is it best when a woman wears the key and does nothing else or should they insist on their own pleasure?
    I love to serve to earn my release with a set number of wins my Oh decides on.
  4. how do you feel a cage benefits you?
    I love the being controlled, I guess it is the domination.
  1. how else can I raise the bar for him with the cage and fem dom?
    Strictly focusing on cage wearing then for me it is edging and teasing whislt wearing. Nothing shows anticipation like blue balls.
  2. do you think he would like me to insist he wears the cage for lengths of time?
    Insist for me. If my Oh asks then it kind of loses its meaning.

I hope that helps, I’m not an expert just an experimenter in all thing fun with my Oh in a strictly exclusive relationship.

  1. did I hand the key back too soon? Should I have made him wear the cage to work and go for longer than five hours?

For me the longer I am denied orgasm the better the relationship gets. I am constantly horny with no opportunity for relief so I sublimate my desires onto my wife in terms of shows of affection and ultimately a large number of orgasms for her.

  1. are cages safe to be worn for great lengths of time?

During Locktober I wear mine 24/7 for the whole month. The rest of the time I wear it from 7 am to 11 pm. I’ve been doing this for over 3 years now.

  1. is it best when a woman wears the key and does nothing else or should they insist on their own pleasure?

Demand pleasure from him as often as you want but a key part of a chastity relationship is ‘tease and denial’. Tease him by making him watch you having orgasms, by stroking him but stopping before he comes or by any means you want. It can be 6 weeks between orgasms for me but during that time she will be stimulating me sexually in some way every day.

  1. how do you feel a cage benefits you?

Apart from the obvious symbolism of the cage in terms of her overall control there is also the gentle but constant stimulation of the cage on my penis which is very enjoyable.

Ok slight issue - he wore his in the bath and I convinced it’s gone slightly rusty in a place. Not happy

A lot of the cages available are advertised as being stainless steel when , in fact, they are chromed steel and will rust.

I would say get a plastic one.

Plastic are more comfortable IMO and obviously lighter. Metal is better for shorter term wear and that more ‘caged’ look however

Measure the penis when flaccid. You want the thing to fit nice and snug in there while small

As for erections. It’s all about learning to ride them out. The first few time and first few nights the cage is worn will be the worst.

As always safety is key. Is balls are changing colour, there is pain or too uncomfortable. Take it off!

This was my first metal cage

DOMINIX Deluxe Chastity Cock Cage 3.5 Inch - Lovehoney UK

It is not stainless steel as advertised but I wore it non-stop for over 2 years before it began to show signs of wear and I replaced it with an identical cage which I am still wearing.

I have read various explanations about measuring cages but my advice is to try it and see.

A good starting point might be one of the plastic cages which come with a selection of ring sizes so that you can experiment.

DOMINIX Deluxe Rigid Plastic Chastity Device 3 Inch - Lovehoney UK

The erections and the wonderful discomfort are part of the chastity life style. My wife spends her time trying to get me hard so that she can watch me squirm.

That being said you should always have an emergency escape system in case anything gets trapped or caught up inside the cage. You’re dealing with something that changes size, shape and rigidity inside a fixed container so you should always have emergency access to the key.