Hi, I have something that will probably will schock you all.
Recently I have discovered that my boyfriend always waits for me to leave home or wants to fap all the time alone EVERYDAY without me doing it, and then denies me sex and lies about that he has fapped and says he's too tired for us to have sex.
I have been in this relationship for 4 years, and have discovered this recently... I'm really really hurt that he lies to me on everything he does and says.... he even denies me simple kisses.. He won't even ask about how my day was and shoooos me away and slaps my hands when he's speaking to another people.
I don't think that I look that bad... So I can't understand what the fuck is going on....
ignore sex and all that, it sounds like the caring and respect is missing. There's lots of possible reasons the affection could go, but the last bit you mentioned about him slapping your hands away when he's talking to someone either means
1/ he thinks you've become too clingy
2/ he's lost what he felt for you.
Now I want to REALLY emphasise that if it's the first then it's either a sign of the second, or you aren't compatabile. Some people just expect different levels of touching and affection and it generally means it won't work (unless you can talk openly about it and work something out over time).
Frankly though, using a less measured response, I'd say forget him! If he treats you like that, and makes you feel like that, then don't waste your time on this relationship. As hard as it can be to admit, sometimes things have run their course and it's time to call it quits.
sounds like a VERY bad situation , and id run for the hills . immediately . sounds like a godawful relationship . .. . but i wouldnt class having a wank as cheating :/
It's not a wank. It's a continuous day wank. EVERYDAY. Not a casual one.... sigh. And not just that, he tends to let me out of all his parties and social life.... He also calls me worthless on a weekly basis.. he values his friends more than he does with me. He never warns when he's going to be late home, never tells me anything and even lies to his parents about me. He never goes to shopping with me, food wise, he doesn't pay attention if I had a haircut, bought new lingerie, dyed my hair... if I am sick.. he doesn't take me to the doctor, he makes me go alone.. saying that it is my responsability.
I can't speak for other men but I have been with my wife 18 to 20 years and not once have I refused sex of any sort and couldn't see me doing it in the future, the obvious reason is he is going elsewhere, but he could possibly be having erectile problems (which I doubt) or he is in the closet. When couples get together there is a sexual attraction and this Cain wain at time, but the mental side caries this on. Even so it don't sound like all is right
It's not a wank. It's a continuous day wank. EVERYDAY. Not a casual one.... sigh. And not just that, he tends to let me out of all his parties and social life.... He also calls me worthless on a weekly basis.. he values his friends more than he does with me. He never warns when he's going to be late home, never tells me anything and even lies to his parents about me. He never goes to shopping with me, food wise, he doesn't pay attention if I had a haircut, bought new lingerie, dyed my hair... if I am sick.. he doesn't take me to the doctor, he makes me go alone.. saying that it is my responsability.
So yeah...
You posted this as I was replying to your first post.
Tell him your worth more than this, and tell him to leave, if you don't live with him just say you don't want to see him anymore. Be shot, of him. A relationship with him is a non starter.
If he's acting weird just confront him of his behaviour you got nothing to lose if the relationship is getting worse anyway besides he might understand how you feel . By sounds of it he's either bored of the relationship or he might be cheating but you can't make accusations until you either confront him or find proof , no matter what you don't deserve the bad relationship. It's not your fault , a relationship requires two people to be together and if he ain't taking his part then you might have to move on and find someone who fully appreciates and loves you.
This might sound weird but it doesnt really matter if he is cheating or not...bear with me...
See if you found absolute proof beyond a shadow of a doubt that this man was NOT cheating on you...would you still even want to be with him anyway, after the way he disrespects you and clearly shows no interest, devalues you and doesnt care for you even when you are sick?
If he is cheating then it would be the icing on the cake maybe, but the cake seems to be made from poison anyway and if I had this cake, I would bin it immediately.
I know this may sound harsh but maybe he is doing all those things because you're letting him get away with it. If my OH did any of that to me I'd tell him where to go because no one will sit there and try and make me feel like I'm worth less than I am!
And maybe he's had enough of the realtionship and wants out but is too chicken to end things himself and is making you do it by treating you like this.
Personally I'd get rid and find someone who does deserve to be with you.
Looking on it my last post seems really bad! And I'm sorry it's no reflection of you, I've had exes in both of the scenarios who treated me like dirt because I let him get away with it ect. The sooner you realise you're worth more than the crap he's dealing out and get shot the better you'll feel!
And the next guy (Or girl depending on your preference) may just treat you like a Queen! I know my OH does every second of everyday he finds away of making me know that I'm special to him and how much he appricates me! You deserve the same thing.
Sometimes people are too cowardly to end a relationship so they treat the other person like dirt to make that decision for them. Whatever his reasons for acting like this you should try to find a way to move on with your life.
You have invested 4 years of your life into someone who has no respect for you.......frankly for me I think that fact he called you worthless once would be a hard limit...........every week is just scandelous.
Really hope you can move on and find happy relationships............I think the LH forum shows there are a lot of people enjoying great relationships.
It sounds like you definitely need to get out of this toxic relationship. Like others have suggested, you seem to be letting this happen. Perhaps it's because you actually do love and respect him and are hoping for something to change, but it seems like nothing will :(
I'm so sorry you are in this situation, but you deserve so much better. I know it might hurt to think of life without him, even the way he's treating you now,but you can find happiness again. At the moment, he is damaging you and making you believe you are worthless - and you're not. He is.
I think you need to approach him, maybe even write him a letter detailing what you've posted here and how you feel. Get him to read it - if he won't, or doesn't acknowledge it, then that would be my answer right there.
There is always a possibility that seeing things written down, he may suddenly realise he will lose you and get his act together, but you NEED to do this.
It's not a wank. It's a continuous day wank. EVERYDAY. Not a casual one.... sigh. And not just that, he tends to let me out of all his parties and social life....
It doesn't matter how long you've been living with someone, 1.5 years isn't very long, the thing you really need to do is see if you can picture yourself living there for 10 years, and think about how happy or unhappy you would be. You'll know then what to do.
Personally, it doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. Anyone would deserve better than that.
Get red of him I say, he Obviously don't Value you as a person of he wouldnt treat you like he does, and btw if that's you in the pic you are Beautiful and can do so much better :)
