Me and my bf have been together for 8months, we moved in together at 5 months. Before that our sex was nice, and fun and exciting! Like rabbits as most new relationships are!
However since we moved in we don't have sex as much and there's the HUGE problem that we like different things! I'm into talking dirty, spanking, anal and receiving head, and rough hard sex. And he's not. We spoke briefly about whateach others like and he told me he like bondage, he tied up my wrists having sex a few times which I'm not 100% comfortable with but I go with it because that's what he likes you know? But NOTHING else like that again after I am very self conscious of my body so I don't like doing different positions cos of how I will look! He doesn't really touch my body when we have sex, there's barely any foreplay with I've told him several times is what I need to get wet and not have painful sex!!!! But of course he wants me to wank him off and suck his dick till my mouth gives up.
He has no interest in joining me when I use toys to the point where he says it doesn't excite him and I wait till he goes out to use them. He's never been too concerned about making me come and when I told him the other night I don't cum during sex he seem genuinely upset and pissed off because he thought I was every time we had sex and then told me I was faking it!! I suggest us watching porn together but he just got awkward and went onto the river island website lol!!!
Please help, we are both 24 and need to sort out this awful situation, sex is sooooo boring and he's not making any effort to change it and what I've done has been dismissed!
Unfortunately it sounds like you both want different things.
I'd be upfront with him about it discuss what you need from your side of the relationship both sexually and emotionally.
Fortunately your still young and if its this tough now then it's unlikely to get better if you can't be open and frank about things, particularly if there has already been cheating.
I always think it's a shame to throw away a good relationship because of poor sex, because it is possible to work on the sex if the relationship is good. The problem is, when the relationship is not that great, then there is very little hope of getting it sorted out.
Sex is a two-way thing. It takes both people to make the effort to make it good. Communication is absolutely vital and in a healthy relationship, there should be the desire to want to make the other person feel good. That doesn't mean that you will do anything they want, but the desire to give has to be there to some degree.
As BDSM said... are there good parts to this relationship or do you feel completely trapped? Is it just the sex that's the problem?
It sounds like you want very different things and maybe he's not the most understanding of people when it comes to your feelings.
Why are you self concious about your body? He is obviously with you for a reason and loves the way you look... be more confident about yourself and the way that you look and you may notice a dramatic difference.
Eat healthily! I cannot describe the wonders that will do for your sex life! Talk to each other and get back to basics with sex. Grab his hands and make him touch you when you're having sex. If he likes bondage have you thought about tying him up?
Im gunna say the opposite! The majority of couples have different turn ons and so its a case od trying what each other likes and actually being bothered to make it good for each other. Im guessing its very rare for partners to both have the exact same turn ons. I.e i love extreme bondage but my boyfriend isnt really interested, i also use toys a lot but that doesnt really do anything for him. Speak to him. How about playing Monogamy? Thats a way of introducing the both of you to different fantasies/play. It seems that you expect him to do whatever you want in sex to turn you on and yet youve complained that you dont wanna do what he wants.. communicate! Communicate! :)
Incompatability in the bedroom is an issue that if allowed to fester will breed resentment and frustration (in your case it seems to have done already).
If you feel the other elements of the relationship are worth rescuing then communication is the key......talk, talk, listen, listen...............and if there is no common ground then you both need to find what you want elsewhere.
To me it sounds like its not a problem steming from the bedroom.. sounds like the 2 of you just arent compatible... Me and my OH have different ideas about sex but we always want to please each other in the bedroom so we have found things that we both enjoy. Like role play, sexy underwear, different positions, reading etc. So agreeing with some of the others in here.. is it just the sex thats getting you down or is it something deeper?
Hope you figure it out though and have happy great sex from now on (whoever its with :P )