So my partner, (male) and I have been having sex for about 6 months now, and we've always had trouble getting him to climax during sex. On his own he has no trouble, but seems to find it difficult when it's the two of us. He gets and maintains an erection perfectly fine, it's just the final event that seems to elude us! He says that when we are having sex, sometimes the sensation will build but then go away for no reason.
We were hoping that some of you lovely people might have some advice or tips!
I had this problem for the first 2 years of my relationship. My problem was that I was masturbating too much, so much so that I got used to that sensation and could only cum from that. Does he wank alot? If so, try to get him to cut down and see if that helps.
I'm not sure what you would classify as too much. He can only climax once a day really, and I don't think it is every day... (We once managed 3 times in 36 hours together... It was an all-time record that we have never even come close to!)
I don't think you could really classify 'too much', everyone's body acts differently. I find that if I do it daily, I have problems going during sex. If he is only doing it a couple of times a week, then I don't think it should be a problem but you could try making him go a week or so without pleasuring himself. That normally helps me if I get too desensitized from masturbating.
To me it sounds like he's giving himself a hard time about it and stressing himself out. You say that for him the sensation builds, at which point he's probably thinking "will I actually come this time?"...then because he's thinking about it he loses the build up. It sounds like to me its all in his mind. Maybe try talking with him about it and ask him what he thinks about when he gets this build up. Maybe let him know that you're not bothered if he can't come because he's still pleasing you. I know that sounds a bit selfish, but it will put his mind at rest because he's probably thinking that he's failing you somehow and it will make his performance worse.
I also agree with what Ikey has said. Maybe turn it into a game, tell him he's not allowed to masturbate and he's certainly not allowed to come until you tell him he's allowed to. This will hopefully take the focus away from him and onto something else. Then after a big build up it will happen and hopefully open the flood gates for sex in the future.
I think maybe this has happened once when he's maybe been stressed out about something, and then since then it's constantly playing on his mind and making things worse.
My partner always takes a very very very long time to achieve orgasm however i tried sticking a finger up there and massaging the prostate whilst giving oral and once he had gotten used to the sensation it took maybe a minute.
My boy wanks alot, and he occaisionally has this problem. Sometimes he admits that he has recently tired himself out, but that usually involves 3 a day.
Asking him about it now he says that during sex he has a couple of chances to cum. If he doesn't because he is enjoying what we are doing so much then after the second chance it will be nearly impossible for him to cum. Even trying to finish himself off won't work past that point.
Maybe your boy is forgeoing his own chance to cum to please you (or because like mine he likes the middle bit more than the end.) My advice is to try spending a session in which only he gets pleasure, the goal is to make him cum with a special treat if he is a good boy and does as he is told.