This sounds really interesting as a subtle way of carrying over intimate aspects of one's relationship in which it is entirely socially acceptable, unnoticeable, unless one understands the significance and intent behind the gift. I like it, although I shall now be analysing the potential implications of people's jewellry for weeks....
This is what I meant. Go Miss Eloquence!
As for analysing people jewellery... At least you are less likely to get dirty looks from boob watching when looking at a necklace.
Me and my boyfriend wear matching rings (Not wedding/engagement stuff), just one made of black metal and one of an unknown mix. He's promised that he'd get me a collar though, I still have to see if he's going to :P
But the idea is very nice yes.. I honestly love our rings, and Ive once freaked out when I couldnt find mine (turns out my mother took them away, very nasty argument)
I thought you meant a propor bondage collar too. That wouldn't be a collar, really as you wouldn't be able to use it to attatch a leash etc. More of a sentimental necklace.
Um, it *is* really a collar. It's far more than a "sentimental necklace" as well - it's a 24/7, forever and ever, collar. A mark of ownership. We don't really play with bondage so a bondage collar would be useless to us, never mind completely unrepresentative of our relationship. I know you didn't mean to be offensive, but... that was kinda hurtful! I'm sure you wouldn't tell Ad her engagement ring is just a "sentimental ring"...
Alicia D'amore wrote:
Answering in chat thread don't want to derail Shelly's thread any more than it already is (sorry Shelly )
Don't be silly! I'm wedding obsessed, love a good discussion about engagement, lol :D Your ring is gorgeous! Good taste WandA ;)
Rowan wrote:
This sounds really interesting as a subtle way of carrying over intimate aspects of one's relationship in which it is entirely socially acceptable, unnoticeable, unless one understands the significance and intent behind the gift. I like it, although I shall now be analysing the potential implications of people's jewellry for weeks....
Thanks :) The subtlety of it is one of the attractions. I love that it's an all-the-time collar. I think if I had a leather one, a very bondagey looking one, I would feel like we were just playing at the D/s aspect in a way because of having to remove it. This makes me feel totally owned :)
I do think your collar looks like a collar when you know that's what it is, but also a chain when it needs to look like a chain - the style switches perfectly.
I thought you meant a propor bondage collar too. That wouldn't be a collar, really as you wouldn't be able to use it to attatch a leash etc. More of a sentimental necklace.
Um, it *is* really a collar. It's far more than a "sentimental necklace" as well - it's a 24/7, forever and ever, collar. A mark of ownership. We don't really play with bondage so a bondage collar would be useless to us, never mind completely unrepresentative of our relationship. I know you didn't mean to be offensive, but... that was kinda hurtful! I'm sure you wouldn't tell Ad her engagement ring is just a "sentimental ring"...
Alicia D'amore wrote:
Answering in chat thread don't want to derail Shelly's thread any more than it already is (sorry Shelly )
Don't be silly! I'm wedding obsessed, love a good discussion about engagement, lol :D Your ring is gorgeous! Good taste WandA ;)
Rowan wrote:
This sounds really interesting as a subtle way of carrying over intimate aspects of one's relationship in which it is entirely socially acceptable, unnoticeable, unless one understands the significance and intent behind the gift. I like it, although I shall now be analysing the potential implications of people's jewellry for weeks....
Thanks :) The subtlety of it is one of the attractions. I love that it's an all-the-time collar. I think if I had a leather one, a very bondagey looking one, I would feel like we were just playing at the D/s aspect in a way because of having to remove it. This makes me feel totally owned :)
A collar is only token physical representation. It makes no difference whether it is a "standard" collar or somthing else, it is the intention behind it that is important. There aren't rules about what a collar can look like.
I always think that if you don't mean to be offensive, then you shouldn't!
A collar is only token physical representation. It makes no difference whether it is a "standard" collar or somthing else, it is the intention behind it that is important. There aren't rules about what a collar can look like.
I always think that if you don't mean to be offensive, then you shouldn't!
would love to have one for my self would make my oh think she owns me hopefully xx
I thought you meant a propor bondage collar too. That wouldn't be a collar, really as you wouldn't be able to use it to attatch a leash etc. More of a sentimental necklace.
Um, it *is* really a collar. It's far more than a "sentimental necklace" as well - it's a 24/7, forever and ever, collar. A mark of ownership. We don't really play with bondage so a bondage collar would be useless to us, never mind completely unrepresentative of our relationship. I know you didn't mean to be offensive, but... that was kinda hurtful! I'm sure you wouldn't tell Ad her engagement ring is just a "sentimental ring"...
Sorry... I don't want to grab my shovel and dig an even bigger hole, but I still feel it's sentimental. I don't mean this in a bad way, but I see an engagement ring as a sentimental ring too. It holds sentiment, therefore, it is sentimental. I don't mean to make it sound like i'm toning it down or anything, I know these objects mean a lot to you, but I still feel they are catagorized as sentimental items.
Sorry if I am causing offense, that is not my intention at all. That is just the way I have always seen it.
The problem with "no offense but..." type sayings is that they nearly always cause offense. I think that if you really want to avoid offense, you should think more carefully about your words.
By even using the word "sentimental" you are implying something offensive. The OP states that it is a collar, and she wants it to mean all the things that having a collar normally means. So to say that it is "sentimental" is offensive as sentimental is the opposite of what a collar means.
A collar, when you take out all of the intention, is just an adornment. There are no official rules on what a BDSM collar can look like, so when you disparage the OP's collar, you are simply placing your own preconceptions upon something that does not require them. When you break down the concept of a collar, it is simply neckwear used in a different way, used differently by the wearer. It's the idea of the collar and your own sexual rules that make it a collar, not what it looks like.
As for your opinions on engagement rings, it is simply erroneous. Yes, rings will hold a setimental value, but that does not make them sentimental items. They serve a purpose beyond schmaltz.
I guess it depends on how you define "sentimental". In the sense that it has no practical use, yes, it's 'just' sentimental.
Maybe 'symbolic' would be a less controversial word?
I think they do have practical use though - a collar is a symbol (good word) of ownership and an engagement ring a symbol of committment. To me marriage is no more symbolic of committment than engagement which is why I take engagement so seriously and why we waited so long. The marriage makes it "official" but the engagement requires just as much committment since you're promising to marry!
These items aren't just there for emotional/sentimental reasons, they signify something deeper to the wearer.
See, I look at it along the lines of the Gorean "bonds of the master's will": it doesn't matter whether you're free to move as you wish or bound by titanium restraints, in either case the thing that's actually holding you there is your willingness to submit to someone. So in that regard a delicate necklace can be as binding as a leather collar or steel shackles.
Sure, you can't attach a leash to it, but a collar is more than just a handy hook to take something or someone for 'walkies'. Even in the most vanilla sense, it's a way of identifying and controlling a pet. Same thing here, she's 'marked' and constantly reminded of her ownership and how she must behave.
It's a soppy, kitsch, cute, bears holding heart, in two halves.
Bit like these!
He has one, I have the other. When we were both still with our spouses (long astory) it was all we could have!
I'm hoping for something more obvious very soon!
I like the idea of a collar. From a 'chained to me' attached, part of me, owned by me point of view. A constant reminder and symbol of our love, relationship etc
I got confused about the 'collar' thing first too as that's kind of a new concept to me, but after reading the whole thread I get it now and think it's really sweet :)
oh bollocks just get one on and have some everlasting fun between your selves why do you allways have to analize everything by the time you talked it through half your ides will seem a little flat.So please just enjoy it its fun and it's free you dumbos
oh bollocks just get one on and have some everlasting fun between your selves why do you allways have to analize everything by the time you talked it through half your ides will seem a little flat.So please just enjoy it its fun and it's free you dumbos
oh bollocks just get one on and have some everlasting fun between your selves why do you allways have to analize everything by the time you talked it through half your ides will seem a little flat.So please just enjoy it its fun and it's free you dumbos
People who live in glass houses.......
Lets play spy the dumbo.
You smell, you smell, ner ner ner ner nerrrrrr.
Sorry, but I was just keeping in tune with the previous tone that had been set.
oh bollocks just get one on and have some everlasting fun between your selves why do you allways have to analize everything by the time you talked it through half your ides will seem a little flat.So please just enjoy it its fun and it's free you dumbos
People who live in glass houses.......
Lets play spy the dumbo.
You smell, you smell, ner ner ner ner nerrrrrr.
Sorry, but I was just keeping in tune with the previous tone that had been set.
Shelly, I do have a lot of admiration for you. I couldnt be a sub full time, but I guess if thats just what you are like. I couldnt have my opinon taken away or not be allowed to do stuff. It wouldnt last a week for me lol.
