My first post! I’m at my wits end. My OH used to let me have anal sex with her fairly regularly (not as much as I’d like, but even so, fairly regularly). She once even dressed up in stockings suspenders etc and put me into her bum without me even mentioning it. Only the once though sadly. I love anal sex and had previous partners who would do it whenever. My OH has told me she doesn’t want to do it anymore. In fact she’s gone off the boil in other ways, she refuses to do 69 aswell now which was my second fav thing. I am of course really upset about this but I want to work with her so I’m trying to find alternatives. I think it’s mainly the tightness feeling anal gives that turns me on, so I asked to her as a compromise would she accept some kind of sleeve being put into her vagina that has an anal entry and canal, so I can pretend I’m having anal with her. She has agreed to this so at least shes trying. The only problem is I can’t find anything like this? The nearest is an anal fleshlight sleeve but the outer isn’t designed to go into her vagina. I ask, Is there a sleeve that can insert into her that will feel nice for her and create us an, as lifelike as possible anal opening?
One negative thought I had is that there could be a problem with such a toy slipping into her , it would need to stay in place so would presumably need a flange bigger than her vagina at the ‘receiving end’ stop it pushing up inside her?
I thought also about latex pants. I’ve seen something similar for gay use. But not designed for simulating anal. Something like that with a anal sleeve would be great! Can lovehoney make me one please? Lol such pants would be great as they would totally solve the potential issue of a toy being pushed up too far - alas I can’t see anything on the market. So can anyone help?? Latex pants with a sleeve in vagina area which turns vagina into an anus? OR a penis shaped toy that insert into vagina that has an anus at the bottom but is flanged so it doesn’t push into too far?
Only other option is find a new OH who loves anal as much as me! I am seeking a compromise which avoids this lol! Please help.
I can’t help you with the toy suggestions as I’ve never come across such a thing. But I am wondering why she has suddenly gone off anal and 69 completely especially given that she has initiated in in the past. Have you asked her why? Might it be something that has happened that has changed her opinion? Or do you think that maybe she never enjoyed it and only did it to please you? Sorry, that’s more questions than answers!
I think the closest you are going to get to this is using fleshlight/fleshjack. You or your partner would most likely need to hold it in place though (although I think it’s more likely to remain on your penis as you thrust rather than being pushed inside her). No idea how good it would be for her though.
There are strap ons with pocket vaginas attached and all in on dildo and pocket vagina, although neither of these would quite fit the bill. (Sorry can’t link to anything as it’s against the forum rules).
Thanks for your kind answer. I think you’re right, she never particularly enjoyed anal although she did once initiate it and seemed that one time to really, really enjoy it! It was like some other person had arrived! Lol She isn’t a really highly sexed person, previous BFs had left her because of it.
As I love her I’ve tried to keep her interested and have tried many things. Recently indeed she has lost more drive. It could be down to her age at 45. I could cope with having anal occasionally but it has now been totally turned off. Her reasons are she thinks sperm with give her anal or rectal cancer! I offered to pull out in future but she just not happy. As for my second fav - 69 with her on top - she says makes her arms ache too much so won’t do it.
Other way she’s OK with.
I love her so, she is sexy and beautiful and I respect her wishes but want to find some kind of compromise to stop me going mad lol.
Trying desperately to find a vagina to anus converter tool lol to see if that might quench my desire for anal sex.
All the best
James
Have you considered suggesting a 69 where she is using a toy on you instead. Means she will have to lean forward less. Or try oral with her on top sitting up (so essentially the 6 part of the 69). You can also do a double oral with you both lying on your sides.
Otherwise maybe try experimenting together, you might find something you both love. Theres a big thread of the positions of the week around the forum with lots of different things to try
Edit: here it is
Hi Calie, I’m so pleased with the responses I’m getting. I wondered if people might read (or rather not read) my londwinded question lol.
It’s a real dilemma for me, thank you for your suggestions. I could try I guess, hold in place or maybe make some pants for her to wear that the sleeve is firmly attached to? I really wish Lovehoney could make something like my idea if there isn’t anything out there already. I need to speak to the design team lol. I think my OH is great for going with the idea too, as said I fancy her like mad after 20 years together and respect her wishes and hope for a compromise that could well work for us both.
Thanks again
James
Huh, just thought. There are some sex cushions out there that have a slot for a fleshlight type toy.
Hi and thanks for this, some good ideas here. Maybe an anal sleeve toy like a fleshlight… she can sit up use it on me… that’s a really good idea you have there, hadn’t given it thought until you suggested. Thank you so much.
We’ve done the on the side style 69 and that’s OK yes.
Thanks again
James
You could pop your suggestion in the Pander to me! … PRODUCTS ONLY thread 
Few more thoughts…
I haven’t heard that before but if that’s her concern then maybe you could suggest you use a condom? It does sound more like she just isn’t interested though.
I’m assuming that she doesn’t enjoy any anal play? I’m just thinking that a small butt plug would make her vagina feel tighter but of course, if she’s not wanting to do any anal play then that’s a non-starter and you don’t want to push her to do something she’s not happy with.
Finally, I’m just wondering if there is anything else that you could explore together that you haven’t tried before? I know it wouldn’t replace anal sex but you could discover something new that you enjoy.
Thank you will do.
James
Thanks for this, bought some doc Johnson butt plugs years back to help her get used it. There was a small building up to something about penis thickness. She used them and we did have fun and success with them to the point she could accept me inside. They kind of trained her butt hole and mind to get used to the feeling of anal sex. So much so she could take me in without the need for butt plug foreplay. We don’t have them now as we didn’t need anymore. Although she refuses to take my penis in there, even with a condom on she will let me put a finger in a little and she ok with my touching gently rubbing her anus during oral or vaginal sex.
I just have to have to take what she will allow and be happy with that I guess.
If 69 with her below is okay you could also try on your sides, might also be possible to get some form of bench that you are underneath and she is resting on top (so legs by you, belly and chest supported freeing up her arms).
As for vagina to anal toy, a lot of the sleeves are very thick so don’t think that will work. However you could try searching for vagina tightening toy or similar wording. There’s also exercises that could be done to help from what I gather (I don’t have a vagina so can’t really comment).
The sperm in the bum thing I would suggest a condom as well of course.
I’ve possibly made it sound as if OH vagina is not tight enough. Whoops. This is not the case, it’s just great and we have great sex using vagina.
The problem was more anal intercourse is now forbidden by her so I had the possibly crazy idea of popping some kind of thin sleeve into her so her vagina resembles an anus. As you say the sleeves out there are quite thick I think.
I wonder though, I’m thinking on buying an anal fleshlight from LH I want one that most simulates a real anal canal. We’re wondering if we might be able fit that inside her and hoping if so it would be comfortable enough? I guess we won’t know until we try?
Go on youtube, look a up a review for a fleshlight. It’ll give you some idea of how big they are (to be honest, theyr pretty large)
Thank you
I don’t think such a toy exists but one thing I’d say is that your post reads very much like it’s all about what you enjoy. I suspect that’s the real problem here.
You’re saying anal and 69 turn you on but clearly her interest in those things isn’t the same. Have you asked her about what turns her on in an equivalent way?
To end on a laugh one thing I really like is reverse cowgirl. My girlfriend recently said that I get a view of her arse and penetrating her whilst she gets…a view of my feet 
Sometimes what does it for you is very different if you’re on the receiving end. With 69 I’ve heard that from previous partners that often being on top isn’t comfy particularly the neck angle that can be involved. It’s only when you put yourself in the other persons position (no pun intended) that you can understand better. See also - anal, you might love it, she might find it painful. This isn’t a “just you” thing.
I’ve never heard of such a thing yet it sounds like something that would be out there if you look on the internet for it. Closest I’ve even seen is probably a tunnel plug but that’s usually for anal use and used to stretch open
This is also great idea, It’s possible she would go for this compromise.
Thank you
James
You do make a very valid point and yes I admit I want anal with her like nothing else BUT I have told her I respect her wishes not to do it anymore and that’s why I asked if we could make a compromise and try other things.
‘You can’t always get what you want.’
Main reason for coming on here to see if I can find toys and advice which might help us get there…
She’s up for the compromises I have suggested so just trying to find ways to find something that feels OK for both of us. So far had some brilliant advice and support, really pleased and grateful.
Yes reverse cowgirl is great, I Iove bums so it works for me, haha yes all she gets to look at is skiny legs and big feet lol.
Regards
James