i was with my ex for 5 years from the age of 15, so most of my sexual experiences are with him, iv always been 'easily pleased' but now new bloke is questioning whether or not im faking it! i have mainly male friends so i dont really have a close gf to ask what is the 'norm' when it comes (HA) to orgasms! but i orgasm with the right tecnique usually within 10mins and multiples are a regular occurance and i also have a huge sex drive, my new bloke keeps saying that women usually take hours to orgasm and then usually just the once, am a bit strange or has he just been with a lot of unfortanate women?? xx
basically your both right! theres no "standard" for female orgasm. some women struggle to come to orgasm, while others can do so very easily. It all depends upon the individual, and the types of stimulation and techniques they use.
other things that affect female orgasm can be mood, stress, hormones ect. sorry I cant offer you a definative answer!
I think he's just been with some unfortunate women. We are all different and some can achieve multiple and some can't. there is more information in this thread.
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/orgasm-army/sex-talk/147807-multiple-orgasms/
Don't stress about it, you are perfectly normal. The first ever g-spot orgasm you have can take hours to achieve but after that the time lessens once you get attuned to it.
I can see where he has got the idea from - because many women take longer to climax and many need a very specific, persistent type of stimulation. Sot to a degree, he is right. But that doesn't mean there can't be exceptions....
You are definately not alone - there are other women like you - Know, I am one of them (lucky us eh?) Tell your fella that we are women, not robots, we are all different and he should be enjoying your orgasmic capabilities and take it as a compliment. (flattery will get you everywhere, as they say) rather than worrying what other women do.
Maybe, because it is a new relationship he is naturally nervous - men, well people in general often show it in funny ways. He may have been very nervous at first and assumed (wrongly) that you were putting it on to make him feel better, and now it's stuck in his head?
but the fact is, you are not alone, lots of women have quick orgasms and multiplies, your fella just needs to try and trust you on it and get on with making the most of it.
Good luck xx
I think he should be thankful, he's a lucky man.
Unless your downstairs is glowing or his penis has two heads, there is no 'normal' when it comes to sex. We are all beautiful, unique, dirty snowflakes.
Have fun, and enjoy.
i agree with what everyone had said
and im the person whos inbetween coming quickly and alot to taking ages! lol
i have to be the difficult one, i cant be either i have to be a mix of the two :P lol
Dxx
I agree with all of the above. I sometimes come really quickly and just one is enough and other times takes a while and i can have 4 or 5, it all depends on my mood! xxxx
Missorgasm - you're definately not alone.
The norm for me is to be able to cum quickly and often (average is over 4 times and I regularily loose count) and sometimes it happens almost instantly. Occasionnally I can take longer, and need a lot more attention shall we say. Position definately makes a difference too.
Everyone is right - each person (male and female) is different and even a person can differ with the same partner. I spoke to a friend of mine, who was gobsmaked that it happens so often to me.
I asked hubby is he has ever been worried that I fake it, but says he picks up on changes in my body - breathing patterns, moisture, spasms in particular areas and even my heart rate. He notices the difference when I take longer and he feels he'd know if I faked it. He might be more sensitive to these signals as I'm quiet in bed (have to be since mum moved in!)
haha you wait to KP see's this thread! i've been in the same siuation with her before! Fortunately for me she's just the same as you and so you kinda got over it pretty quickly!
For me it was definitely an issue with my self-esteem as i didn't believe i could affect someone that way. It's a strange thing to have to come to terms with as most people would expect a bloke to be bragging about such amazing acts lol!
I guess you just have to reassure him that you're not trying to massage his ego or anything like that and tell him to just embrace it!
you're deffinitely not strange, or alone so don't worry about it! you can always send him on here to have a chat about it if he's still worried!
i meant to type "get over it"
oh yeah, don't forget to remind him of how lucky he is!
Some people will have the opposite problem, imagine the effect that could have on a your confidence!
oh god lol when i said "i meant to type "get over it" " i meant as a correction in my first sentence, not as a general comment lol!
not my day today lol!
I'm sorry - but if your new guy says it usually takes "hours" for his lady to "O"...them me thinks he might not be doing it right! Hours? Really? I suggest you show him your fav vibe and give him a demonstration to show him what you like.
You sound pretty normal...just like everyone else. We're all individuals.
JohnAndMoni wrote:
I'm sorry - but if your new guy says it usually takes "hours" for his lady to "O"...them me thinks he might not be doing it right! Hours? Really? I suggest you show him your fav vibe and give him a demonstration to show him what you like.
You sound pretty normal...just like everyone else. We're all individuals.
I find that a little unfair - I take hours to come and it most certainly not my OH's fault - he is an AMAZING lover!
Some people take ages and that's fine - some people are quick and that's fine too - we're not meant to all be the same!
Ax
Heyo Missorgasm!
I would describe myself as fellow prematurely orgasmic female! I may as well confess it here as anywhere, I'm pretty sure I have something called Persistant genital arousal disorder:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Persistent_sexual_arousal_syndrome
I can make myself orgasm in under a minute just by clenching my PC muscles, sometimes it also happens accidentally because of vibrations from buses etc. and I often wake up cumming in my sleep. Until my recent attempts at chastity I was making myself cum 15-20 times a day by squeezing my PC muscles. It might sound brilliant but it's pretty distracting and is weirdly not especially pleasurable...just like scratching an itch really!
It's a COMPLETELY different experience when I'm with my partner though, I still cum pretty quickly (<5 mins) unless I try not to but the feelings of pleasure and release are so much more intense!
I had no idea till reading this that it would be upsetting for my OH but then I suppose he's the type to prefer a challenge so I might be (for want a bit of a better word) a bit easy! The trick/challenge is keeping me on the edge for long enough without letting me cum so that the pleasure and climax is intensified.
xxKPxx
Tigerlilies wrote:
I think he should be thankful, he's a lucky man.
Unless your downstairs is glowing or his penis has two heads, there is no 'normal' when it comes to sex. We are all beautiful, unique, dirty snowflakes.
I love this. Tiger Lilies, you are a marvel! These two sentences made my day.
SS xx
Oh, and I'm like you, Miss Orgasm, I come fairly quickly and then again and again - although I tend to ejaculate, which kind of proves I'm not faking! But no matter what a guy might try, unless my head is in the right place, it just won't happen. For me, nothing will be right physically unless it's right psychologically first. Maybe I'm a loony, but I don't care!
SS xx
SweetSubmission wrote:
Tigerlilies wrote:
I think he should be thankful, he's a lucky man.
Unless your downstairs is glowing or his penis has two heads, there is no 'normal' when it comes to sex. We are all beautiful, unique, dirty snowflakes.
I love this. Tiger Lilies, you are a marvel! These two sentences made my day.
SS xx
I liked that bit!
Can we consider orgies snowballs or snowmen? Lots of intertwined flakes getting it on!
WOW guys! so much help! i cant possibly reply to every one rite nowbut uv all helped so much. His technique is more than ok lol and i find its not the quantity or speed of the orgasms he can give me but the quality, which actually often means he should try and make me wait a bit longer, currently working for the 'g-spot' which is taking some bloody work let me tell you! i can feel it just cant quite get 'there' but have read up on it in the forums! hopefully this will help him feel he is working for my pleasure hahahaha.
Kitty, have considered that i have PSAS more than once it but i dont think its quite that bad,u know what they say, the more you have the more you need haha thats more likely to be the case i think i should cut down ;) xx