Difficulty orgasming during sex (Male)

Hey,
I’ve been with my partner for nearly 7 years and always taken a long time to finish during sex but I’ve been finding it more difficult recently.
Any suggestions or advice?

Hi, are you on any meds? Theres quite a few antidepressants and also i think blood pressure meds that can mess with your libido and ability to climax in various ways. Other hormonal based meds are also notorious for it too, so it might be worth checking.

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Are you doing anything differently to normal? Or is it possibly because you’re not? It’s often said as to how important foreplay is to get a woman in the mood but it’s often equally as important for men. If you’re finding your sex life repetitive with no variety then this can result in it being harder for either party to orgasm. You make mention of the length of time you’ve been together - longer relationships can sometimes fall into a set pattern of behaviour, so maybe trying something new, be it an activity or the addition of toys could help?

It could also be a self-fulfilling prophecy. You recognise that it’s always taken you time to finish and if that is causing concern then there may be a psychological effect causing it to become even harder. Try some ‘alone time’ and see if you have the same problem masturbating as you do when together. If there’s no issue there then it could back up the theory that you need a new stimulus of some kind when with your partner. that’s not unusual at all. Talk to her about what she might like to do that’s new or different. And if it doesn’t seem to change the length of time it takes you to cum, then at least it will be fun trying. :wink:

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I’m on citalopram.

Yeah Citalopram is renowned for this issue I’m afraid. I take escitalopram and suffer with the same issue. Most ssri’s sadly have this effect although it can be worth trying to find one that might work for you. It’s the one thing I really dislike about my meds :cry:

It’s 100% the citalopram. That stuff is a right divil for killing your sex drive. I specifically stopped taking it just to get my mojo back (that, and I didn’t think it was helping much, I swear I wasn’t not putting sex before my mental health back then…). Your options are pretty broad though. You can speak to your doctor about changing if it bugs you so much that you can’t take it. You can introduce, if you’re comfortable with it, things like using a buttplug when on top in bed which works a real treat for getting things finished. More abstinence can help but it isn’t a particularly fun way to go about it. You can also take short breaks for like a week once every couple of months if you want to be able to get it back and go at it like rabbits for a bit, but that’s also something to consult with your doctor about. But all is not lost!

I would guess its the meds too for certain. It’s a different SSRI anti-depressant but my boyfriend has been in sertraline twice and both times it affects his ability to orgasm (cum) to the point that after a couple of weeks on it he really cant orgasm any more. Without it he cums really quickly (probably too quickly) but when he is on it he can go for over 30 minutes with no sign of him cumming.

We have discussed it with his doctor and it is a known and common side effect. They can try a different medication or suggest other ideas depending on how much of an issue it is. For us, him lasting longer is a nice benefit so he has stuck with the medication so far.

My boyfriend has been on both citalopram and sertraline for about a year each and on both, after a few weeks, he can’t cum either. Although his sex drive is still good he doesn’t get the urge to masturbate at all much. As he can keep going without cumming sex is pretty amazing for us. If he takes a break from the medication for a few days we have found his orgasm comes back but the medication is of benefit so he doesn’t do this very often.

Just came across this article on the Lovehoney blog that has some tips: Having a Healthy Sex Life on Antidepressants. This podcast episode is a good listen as well :point_down:

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