Disabled people have sex toys too, and other diversity issues in toys

Sex Toys
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Hi! I’m a queer disabled guy, and I pretty much religiously use LH for sexuality/wellbeing. Now I’m older and more mature than when I first started exploring, I’ve started writing reviews so I can be a tester one day. I think I’ve done 6 so far? Annoyingly they’ve all been bought with a different account, I dunno if that shows up, but whatever.

Anyway, something I’ve noticed is a slight lack of accessibility for sexual information for disabled people in general. There’s things during puberty, but either it’s directed at those who don’t know the socially acceptable places to explore sexuality (I was made to read a book about public masturbation when I was in puberty, it was honestly humiliating for me, who knew about this and had never done it, but I was told that since I was autistic I would start or something??? :man_shrugging: ), or directed towards able bodied people. I, for example, didn’t get taught any sexual education in school. Luckily my autistic ass loves biology and psychology, so I already knew it, but that’s not the point. There is a huge gap.

This gap extends into LH too, I’ve noticed. Take the bottles of lube, and the bottle of toy cleaner. They look pretty similar. Anyone with sight issues, colour blindness, milder processing issues, impulsivity issues, functional disorders could easily get confused, myself included. Certain dildos can be hard for people to hold, sometimes getting toys to charge is really fiddly, and so may impact disabled people, or even older people.

Even with other parts of diversity and accessibility, like LGBTQ+ stuff, I’ve noticed a lot of products can be stereotypical in colour or name, and categorise all AFAB people as Female, or all AMAB people as male. There’s not many options for trans people - and yes, I’ve looked in the LGBTQ+ section. There are things that could be done though, personally I’m not sure how it would work for trans women, but for trans men there’s ways to simulate male masturbation that it could be worth LH looking into (cough cough, message me i will help you i do have an idea cough cough).

Anyway, I thought I’d make this thread to start this discussion, I suppose. Disabled people (and trans people too, though there is a lot more inclusion of Queer sexuality than disabled sexuality), what sort of things do you struggle with? How do you think LH could pioneer sexuality in overlooked groups?

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Hey @dontcumonthefloorplease :blush:

Pander to me! … PRODUCTS ONLY might be your friend here :+1:t2:

I know that particular thread does get read periodically by the relevant LH staff so you never know what could happen :blush:

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Hey @dontcumonthefloorplease :wave: I’m a gender questioning, neurodivergent person with various hidden disabilities. Great post. I totally agree that more could be done for both disabled toy users and the LGBTQ+ community. I have loads of toys from LH and do enjoy them but I do feel like they aren’t really designed with people like me in mind.

I have a vulva so buy mainly toys aimed at women but I also enjoy anal toys and nipple toys. I’m not really in to vaginal penetration and don’t usually like direct stimulation of the clitoris because I’m too sensitive although it really depends on the toy and my mood. I’d love to see more variety of toys for external use, broad surfaces for grinding, different textures - soft and squishy and bumpy things are my preference, and i’d also love to invent some sort of grinding toy that has moving parts like rotating and moving beads under the surface for a bit of extra massage! I think that might just be a “me” thing and not particularly marketable to the majority. What kind of toys do you like playing with and what would you like to see more of?

There was a thread about disability friendly purchases but it hasn’t been used in a while. Might be worth a look.

Also, if you have any suggestions that you would like LH to look into, try posting in the Pander to me thread or the Great big suggestions thread. The LH team check these and suggestions are passed on regularly.

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Good ,well written piece , my wife and also Sub of 39 years is disabled due to a rare neurological condition , She has highly diminished sensations / feelings of pain which makes everyday life and playtime as a dedicated Submissive quite a minefield during the last 15 years . She needs to be punished hard enough to get sensations and enjoyment from it but too hard can cause damage that she doesnt know has happened untill its too late , thankfully its never happened yet but we both live in fear of the day ,
Also , we have bought more magic wands than a wizarding school and over the last few years they are just not powerfull enough , i do wish a manufacturer would make one with twice the power as someones " too powerful " is regerettably not powerful enough for a few people , it really makes People with disabilities feel they are not listened to or catered for , and the biggest bug bear is when someone comes up with something to make a disabled persons life easier they whack a premium price on it , most of these poor soles live on benefits , and yes having a mind blowing orgasm is a great stress reliever because contrary to belief disabled people get stressed as well as the people around them , sorry im ranting on so i will leave it there hahaha

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@Kitty-Cat01 I had as similar idea to yours, RE the moving beads thing, but for me specifically, my legs refused to work for about 3 years, I had issues with parasthesia’s too loss of sensation, but my legs now nearly work again so i dropped the idea, could your Idea be used by other women ?

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@Kitty-Cat01 Personally I just have things which affirm my gender (ie, a strapon with a pocket for a vibrator), external stimulation stuff and a few vaginal things, particularly for pelvic floor stuff.

My specific idea around trans men and AFAB people who want to play with pegging/penetration is something that is often used in high end prosthetics. They have a rod that can be used for clitoral stimulation, meaning using the shaft bit either via stroking or penetrating also stimulates the person on the top. This is also a method that avoids the need for charging, and is generally a pretty gender-affirming thing for transmasculine people.

I do have a pretty horrific diagram of it, but I can’t embed images yet!

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@BrokenEye I don’t see why it couldn’t be used by anyone else. I guess it’s just a bit more gentle and far from the usual strong vibrations and suction toys that most women want.

@dontcumonthefloorplease you should be able to post pictures once you reach the next trust level (just make sure to post in one of the photo threads!) That sounds interesting, just trying to picture it in my head, I think a picture might help once you can share. I have some vaginal toys but don’t find them very gender affirming most of the time although, frustratingly, I still get pleasure from it sometimes along with the pain and general confused feelings. I have very mixed feelings about whether I want to work towards having vaginal sex again or whether to give it up, I guess that’s a whole other conversation!