I just wanted to know if if anyone else has a problem trying to get your partner to open up about there fantasy’s and talk about them or sexy dreams I have told my wife about mine but trying to get her to open up about her fantasy’s is hard I have told her that we should talk about them and maybe try some I know she has some but she said she is embarrassed to say them because I might laugh or think she is weird And I would never do that but mostly I think that if she tells me that I would probably want to do them and I would love to make them fulfilled
3 Likes
I felt embarrassed at first about telling him my fantasies, but he made me feel at ease and reassured me that he won’t laugh or think omg no, I’ve always wanted to be dominated in bed, the full works, he was more than happy to play that role, I think he loves it just as much as me lol we’ve introduced all sorts of toy’s, when I have sex dreams and my body’s against his, he wakes up and finds my hand down his boxers he’ll wake me up by kissing me and say do you want me to make your dreams come true 
, I’ve always wanted to have a golden shower and he’s always wanted to do it but neither of us have said cos we both thought we’re weird.
2 Likes
Would she read erotica? If so, maybe you could look for a collection of short stories (ideally with a mix of types of story) and she could share the ones she likes most with you. That way, you start to get an idea of what sort of thing she might fantasise about but she is saved a little bit of the embarrassment as it isn’t her specific fantasies she is sharing and it may make her feel more comfortable to start sharing her own fantasies (maybe she could tell you how she would change the stories). This could also work with porn or film/tv/short clips etc
1 Like
She reads all the time and enjoys it
Does she share what she reads with you? It could be a way to get her to open up
1 Like
I find it very hard to talk about my fantasies to my OH. It doesn’t help that he just doesn’t have any (or claims not to - I’m inclined to think he is being honest) and mine are a bit extreme although relatively common and I don’t want to scare him. I have been “drip feeding” parts of may fantasies over the last few years but I’m still embarrassed about it.
If you watch porn together or read erotica, could you ask her to pick something that she likes and you might get a hint of what she is interested in? I’m not sure if this would help or not (I still find it difficult to show my OH what I like because he is so vanilla and I’m really not!) but it might be worth a try? Just seen @Calie’s reply! That sounds like a brilliant approach 
Somehow you need to show her that you are going to be accepting and not judge her. Maybe suggesting things that might interest her and gauging her reaction might give you a hint. It might also be that she just doesn’t want to share them. I have a couple that I would never ever share with anyone, some that I am happy to be totally open with and others that fall somewhere in the middle. All you can really do is keep talking, sharing yours and give her time. Sorry to to be of more help!
1 Like
Never thought about this because I read my own erotica too
We have tried things from our books I just think that if she would be more open with one of them I think that she would feel less embarrassed about talking about it after she sees my reaction to it I’m more open about stuff than her
Oops! That might not have been wise! When my OH and I first got together, we had a similar conversation and it turned out that he had a thing for one of my friends, surprisingly I felt the same way!
2 Likes
My OH is the same…she just won’t admit she has any fantasies…although I’m damn sure she does. She reads a lot of erotic fantasy books…I’m slowly trying to get her to open up as I’m sure there’s some fun to be had there. She on the other hand is probably bored of me telling her what my fantasies are!
I’d never put pressure on her…but I know her pretty well and She definately has a naughty side…she just needs to embrace it…But if she’s not comfortable discussing it - what more can o you do?
As it is, we’ve been on a sexual journey over the last 2 years and we’re doing a lot more than we ever did before…so you never know…
1 Like
Maybe she needs suggestions. I can never think of any fantasies if I’m asked. I don’t think I’m boring, just happy as things are, I’d try most things I’m just rubbish at ideas!
1 Like
I’ve asked my wife a couple of times to share her fantasies with me and she always insists that if she did, they would no longer be ‘her’ fantasies.
I respect that and have stopped asking.
2 Likes
When I struggle to tell my partner I usually try write them into an erotica he can read. It’s fun that way because then he gets to know what I like and want, and he gets a fun story that usually excites him too.
2 Likes
It’s not easy for me to just come out and say them sometimes. I drop hints and pretty sure she does too. I try to pick up on the subtlety then go with it. Recently mine has made a few comments but am unsure if it’s teasing, joking, or something she really wants.
Guess I don’t have an answer. Maybe ask her favorite story or author then read it for any clues
Update on her fantasy’s she told me the other day when we were talking about fantasy’s and us she finally told me that she had wanted to see and feel what it was like to have me cum in her face and breast she said she has fantasy’s with me doing this after giving me a bj so last night I fully filled this one out and she loved it and wanted more she said so I asked after she was done licking and wiping off if it was so bad about telling me about her fantasy’s and she said it wasn’t too embarrassing so maybe more of them to cum I hope
I also feel this would be a topic I would struggle to discuss with my partner.
2 Likes
@Megan14 well I it’s hard to open up about your fantasy’s but it is fun and very enjoyable to try mainly stat with one and see how it goes ask them about theirs first to see if they are open to sharing
1 Like