Was sitting thinking that there has got to be a number of people out there like me, I have an fwb and he fulfills my every sexual need a have. I'm fortunate he also loves variety and will give anything a go.
I didn't meet him on a specific site or anything we were actually previous partners and had split 18 months previous; I had seen someone else in the time we separated as had my ex. We both found that the sex was dire and so boring.
By chance I got back in touch with him and we are now fwb's, he is free to see other people as am I if I want to as we both regard ourselves as single. Obviously I still care very much for him as he possibly does me but we both agreed we don't work for a number of reasons as a couple, so this suits us down to the ground. The sex is fab and he knows what I like so we get to have the maximum fun without the chances of putting someone off with my demands of throat gripping during sex or having my mouth covered....that along with countless other things. We both agreed as well that if either of us sees someone else, even if it is just the getting to know you phase, that we would let the other person know.
I am all for the whole fwb thing it works for me, I have my desires fed with no commitment, I will eventually commit myself for the rest of my days to "the one" it's finding him first and to be honest I'm in no rush...
what is your experience of the whole fwb thing and do you think it is a good thing or a bad thing.......
my GF and I (of 4 yrs) initially started of life as friends, who just chatted at gatherings as opposed to proper friends. This progressed randomly and quite by chance to the benefits stage for a few months before making it official.
So worked for us very well.
Since then we have also had threesomes with friends and have all been fine.
I'm not sure if you would class my situation as friends with benefits or an open relationship (and i'm not 100% sure at where the line is drawn between the two) but effectively i have been in a casual situation with someone for around 3.5 years.
For me it has worked brilliantly as it has meant i am free to go out and do what i want with who i want, but i always have someone i know i have a great sexual connection with. We can also talk about intimate experiences together which makes it really nice.
I have found that I am much happier in an open sort of situation than i am in a relationship, at least at this stage in my life. We both have the option to pause the situation when we get involved with other people, but always come back to it when we are single and i think it is a great way to keep yourself sexually satisified with neither being constrained to a relationship or having one night stand type encounters where you aren't necessarily completely comfortable with the other person. There is no jealousy between us either, we can happily talk to eachother about sexual experiences with others, for example if either of us hooked up at a bar. I don't think it would ever work at all if there was jealousy or both people were on a different page.
but basically, i think they are great and am all for them
I had a purely sexual relationship with someone for a few months, we'd both just got out of relationships and we're quite lonely, the sex was just really experimental, we could do absolutely anything because there was no feeling for the other at all, whereas my current partner who I'm totally in love with, intend to marry and have children with, I could never tie, gag and use a strap on with him because I love him and know him too well, plus he's way too adorable for that!but I'm getting off topic! My fwb and I had decided how long we'd have the relationship and what we could do, we did decide that you weren't to sleep with anyone else and if you wanted to you should break off our arrangement, we're not close friends and haven't seen each other since but have texted, nothing sexual, it worked great for abit of company until we got back on our feet
I've seen someone who was delighted to think that he could have sex with this girl routinely and could still be free to do anything he wanted with any other girl who became available. The problem is he didn't think about what it was like to see his friend with benefits doing the same with other guys.
I can think of times when it would have been good, but I've always seen it not end well, and wouldn't advocate it as a result.
But what happens if your friend with benefits gets a girlfriend, or you get a boyfriend, but the sex still isn't good. Do you continue? Will one of you not be upset if this amazing sex you've been getting just comes to an end. Sorry, but it just sounds like nothing but trouble to me.
The whole FWB/open relationship thing is totally not for me, at all. I really despise them actually but I wont go into it, since a lot of you seem to be all for them. As long as it works for you and you don't wind up getting hurt, then it's all good at the end of the day.
If my fwb found someone to settle down with then I would totally respect that, we have both agreed that if we even start talking to someone else regularly with the intention of a possible relationship then we have to be honest with each other straight away.
i have known my fwb for a lot of years and we respect each other's decisions and choices, I don't think we will ever fall out over the situation, even though we have some feelings for each other we know that primarily it is just about good sex
I think it really does depend on the situation, i have known my fwb for 9 years, the past 4 years we have soley been just friends. I class him as one of my closet friends and he classes me as the same. So in our situation it worked out well.
Another fwb i had only lasted a short while, i fell for him quite hard and ended up wanting more (which is strange as i never wanted a relationship with the first). I really think it does depend on the situation, i've been on both ends of the stick so i can see the benifits and the heartache they can cause.
I have never really had a FWB relationship, primarily because I personally need to feel emotionally connected to the other person to become aroused and therefore have amazing sex. However, I am not closed to the possibilities, because like others have said, it depends very much on the situation at the time.
I believe FWB can work just fine, or break down into pain and heartache, but whichever way it goes will depend on lots of things. Of course it is possible to develop more feelings, but the other person doesnt, etc etc, but it is also possible for it to work brilliantly for those involved and be exactly what each was looking for.
People have relationships in a variety of different ways and you are just as likely to get your heart broken by falling for someone who does not return your love, or falling for the bad boy/girl (player) or even falling in love with your partner and having them falling in love with you, only to discover years later that you are not a good match and you are desperately lacking something you need from a relationship in general. It is possible for every kind of relationship to end in heartache.
It is also possible for every type of relationship to end in happiness. I have poly friends who are amazingly happy, swinger friends who couldn't be closer and mono couples, FWB and more - all happy as can be.
So yeah. We take risks balancing in our mind the potential risks to the potential pleasure we could get. If we never take risks, we never get to that happy place, but when we take them, we are bound to get hurt along the way. It will help you grow and discover who you are and what you want along the way.
So long story short: Follow your instincts and do what feels right/good. You get one life, so enjoy it and ride the rough with the smooth.
Well atm... Don't have a serious relationship.. And outside the realms of this forum I still am quite shy.... And strangely enough not as forward as I have been here... So atm.. I have had a few sexting sessions... One that has turned into effectively a f buddy relationship.... A woman of my age.. Having a bloke coming back for more in rl is a huge turn on 😊 All my male friends are married, including one that slipped through the net😕he got hitched just after I finally broke free of my abusive 20 marriage.... Damn! So I will keep the bait in the water to see what bites😉
Well atm... Don't have a serious relationship.. And outside the realms of this forum I still am quite shy.... And strangely enough not as forward as I have been here... So atm.. I have had a few sexting sessions... One that has turned into effectively a f buddy relationship....
A woman of my age.. Having a bloke coming back for more in rl is a huge turn on
😊
All my male friends are married, including one that slipped through the net😕he got hitched just after I finally broke free of my abusive 20 marriage.... Damn!
So I will keep the bait in the water to see what bites😉
Ah NM, I am sure your somebody nice and loves what you love is just around the corner. You might be shy but i sense a strong woman. I love your posts and admire your strenght. I think that LH forums are just wonderful and people like you prove it.
My current boyfriend started as a casual FB/cuddle buddy but we developed feelings. We have been stuck in limbo for a little while as neither of us wanted to push things, but weve honestly been more or less dating since we started!
otherwise I have had purley sexual relationships with people, but that was more or less physical, and there wasn't really friendships
We do have an emotional connection which is good, we both agreed that as a couple we don't work, we do have a few differences despite having quite a lot in common. He is one of my best friends and we can talk about anything. I think personally fwb are a good thing, lots of people obviously find things are different in their own ways.
I find it a really difficult relationship to maintain. Nature has not made us for this,as there are hormones that provoke attachment to the person you're having sex with..and this might easily turn to romantic infatuation for one or the other..and then there will be hearts broken and unpleasantness between the two.It's not for everybody.