I just wanted to ler you know that OH came over for a week. His first night we left the littlies with my folks and went out for dinner (something we honestly havent done at all this year) We definitely cleared the air and spoke honestly and openly about how things have been. He has been as miserable as me but with the difference his unhappiness comes out as criticism whereas I just withdraw. Anyway, we went home and ended our sex drought (yippee). And that pretty much set the tone for his entire week here. Ive been more relaxed as I have less things to worry about, im more relaxed because Im home as well. The sex was really great and, unlike other times, I was basically up for it all the time. The one night he didnt make a move I actually woke up in the middle of the night to him stroking and massaging me and things progressed. I know a week of honest chats and great sex are not a magic wand that makes all problems disappear but should I dare to hope we are at least on the right track. So basically id love to hear your suggestions/advice how to keep this up. It may sound stupid (and I am embarrassed to admit it here or anywhere for that matter) that ive never been into masturbating and i wonder if my tendency to be tired/uninterested by thought of sex is because im not even making or have ever made the time to pleasure myself (does that make sense?) I feel so stupid and ashamed writing this but i know that something has got to give and since one of my hu by's biggest complaints is that i often tend to brush off bis advances im thinking this could be a good place to start. I also think the lelo beads have made a bit of a difference too in that come evening I feel really quite horny and almost disappointed we dont have a quickie before dinner (a total change) So my questions are: what would you recommend as a toy for solo play which can be used also together? Clit stimulation always gets me to orgasm and OH is always happy to help out with that. I was in town the other day and stopped by a well known high street adult store, I bought a mini rabbit and have to say it was the biggest disappointment ever. The ears dont move and only the shaft does which basically vibrates at one setting and does nothing for me. Is there a vibe that is insertable and does both clit and g spot stimulation?
Sorry for the long post - i tried to keep it short but pretty much failed
Lulu, I've been exactly where you are now. We're just coming up to a year on from when I finally addressed the problem and I can honestly say we've had more sex in the last 12 month than in the previous 10 years of marriage.
I'm not one for masturbation, I've never been able to enjoy self stimulation although we do now have a toy box full of toys that we use together. If I had to pick one to keep the spark alive, it would be this egg https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=33566. There are some great patterns that tease you to the edge, then back off fast leaving you craving that next hit.
Can't advise on toys as I think other ladies are better placed for that advice.
I just wanted to say well done for actually having a chat with your partner and dealing with the problem head on. Many couples and ourselves included go through sticky situations and the only wah to get it sorted is through talking .So well done .
Can't advise on toys as I think other ladies are better placed for that advice.
I just wanted to say well done for actually having a chat with your partner and dealing with the problem head on. Many couples and ourselves included go through sticky situations and the only wah to get it sorted is through talking .So well done .
Thanks so much 😊 it wasnt easy to start but once we started the talk it was fine. While it's sad to know we've been making each other miserable at least we discovered we want to make it work and when we have some me time the spark is still there. I know we are no longer in the jump on each other any opp you have phase but...
Anyway thanks and fingers crossed for the future.
Can't advise on toys as I think other ladies are better placed for that advice.
I just wanted to say well done for actually having a chat with your partner and dealing with the problem head on. Many couples and ourselves included go through sticky situations and the only wah to get it sorted is through talking .So well done .
Thanks for your reply and it's good to know im not alone. And even better to know that there is hope!
Lulu, I've been exactly where you are now. We're just coming up to a year on from when I finally addressed the problem and I can honestly say we've had more sex in the last 12 month than in the previous 10 years of marriage.
I'm not one for masturbation, I've never been able to enjoy self stimulation although we do now have a toy box full of toys that we use together. If I had to pick one to keep the spark alive, it would be this egg https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=33566. There are some great patterns that tease you to the edge, then back off fast leaving you craving that next hit.
Hi Lulu, it's so nice read your post and "feel" this positive vibe coming from you. I think talk helps a lot, such a simple thing, but it really makes a difference. I believe that most people who have been in a long term relationship can somehow relate with your situation, I know I do. Life is busy, a lot of financial, childcare, daily life worries and when you realise, you're kind of growing apart for the person you're sure is the one for you. It just happens, but when you actually take time to be together, talk and open-up you start to feel there's hope after all. Relationships are har-work!
There's nothing to be ashamed about the masturbation thing. I was brought up abroad (I've been living in the South West of England for 16 years now) in a quite a strict background and I have never, ever done that, until about two years ago. I wouldn't even consider, because I'm married, I have someone so I wondered what was the point in doing that? But things change and I felt like I needed something for me, only me, and I started masturbating and I've to tell you: for me is the best thing in the world. It's not only about the pleasure and the orgasms, which are fantastic, but also for the opportunity to know, understand and look after my own body. I eat quite sensibly, I love working out so the masturbation thing is just something that adds to me keeping myself in good shape. Let's not forget the release and the help this gives me in coping with the stresses of bringing up a very challenging teenager and a extremely stressfull job. So yeah I think masturbating should be something that you could consider and see how you feel.
About the toy, I'd also recommend a magic wand which is really great and you can enjoy in solo sessions and with your OH. I've the Classic Main Lovehoney and I love it, but the rechargeable one also got wonderful reviews. I also tried a rabbit before and did nothing for me, the g-spot stimulation wasn't great and I never seemed to get the ears in the right position. Perhaps a glass dildo, the Lovehoney ones (most of them) are lush and your OH can use it too.