Help me get my BF off

Sex Tips & Talk
21

naughtyingu wrote:

I find it rare/hard to cum when im with someone :( Ive never cum in a pussy, [...] Im really not very sensitive, it can and often does fade into numbness. Im about as sensitive as the inside of a forearm just above the elbow.

I can cum from wanking, [...] the mechanics of how i wank, vs sex is quite different, [...] i can hold it tighter than any pussy or ass ive experienced, [...] ive tried not wanking for a week or so before meeting someone, i honestly dont know how much that helped

Dan Savage often talks about the "death grip syndrome", which is the situation where a man can orgasm from masturbating but has difficulties orgasming any other way because of having become accustomed to a tightness of grip which can be matched by nothing else.

Dan Savage's advice for this is to retrain your penis by limiting all of your sexual activity to the kind you want to orgasm from. So for you that may mean no masturbation whatsoever and only having sex with your partner. Your penis will become so desperate for stimulation and you become so desperate to orgasm that your penis will accept whatever stimulation it can get. Your penis will increase in sensitivity until you can orgasm from that other stimulation.

This does require some discipline on your part because it sounds like you will need to do this for longer than a week, since you tried that and you found that wasn't long enough. It can take some time (the exact time varies between individuals), but the rewards are that you will have a much more sensitive penis and you will be able to enjoy a much more varied set of sensations.

I hope that helped.

22

other stimulation helps a lot, and it may very well be the grip issue stated by many others here, but its not always easy to judge an amount of pleasure being given by an action, so always encourage him to make encouraging noises for the things you do that feel exceptionally good. so you can get a better idea, and have him tell you when he's close, so you can really pump harder and faster so that he can cum, you may also need practise for pumping that fast, men have plenty, but women dont, so bear that in mind.

just practise, and eventually you'll get him cumming, and the abstinence thing is a good idea in general.

23

whenever i sleep with a woman who says no one has ever made her cum i tend to try to get them to think of something else. if they are thinking too much about it and are worried or anything then it will make it 10times harder to even get close.

the best way i have found is to put on music they like and try to get them to sing along (in their head if they wish) i know it sounds silly but it takes their minds off of trying to cum so it doesnt seem like so much stress, and so far it has worked pretty well, it can take a few attempts but just dont rush it !!!

24

lyddie111 wrote:

whenever i sleep with a woman who says no one has ever made her cum i tend to try to get them to think of something else. if they are thinking too much about it and are worried or anything then it will make it 10times harder to even get close.

the best way i have found is to put on music they like and try to get them to sing along (in their head if they wish) i know it sounds silly but it takes their minds off of trying to cum so it doesnt seem like so much stress, and so far it has worked pretty well, it can take a few attempts but just dont rush it !!!

Great idea!

x