Hello,
well my problem is i have a really filthy imagination which is a huge turn on and i would like to transfer that to the bedroom with my bf of 3 years nearly, but i get really embarresed.
I want to be able to be more adventrous and talk dirty and be more rude than just have plain old boring sex..... Any suggestions?
Sounds like you'd be great at role play, have you tried pretending to be a character? You can either do this face to face like meetinh in a bar and pretending to have only just met, or start by txting and pretending to be someone else.
There are some great costumes at Lovehoney to give you some ideas and help get you into character.
Why don't you ask him if he has any fantasies, the act them out. Then he can ask you what your fantasys are and you can do some of the things you want to but wouldn't normally have memtioned.
Or just say .... I read this thing on LH forum, how kinky does that sound?!?! See how he reacts and if he seems ok with it then say would you like to give it ago.
If its toys your interested in, I find getting my partner to read the reviews with me makes us both giggle and then we say " shall we get it for a laugh?". Next thing I know he's phoning me from work to tell me he's seen a new toy I might like so has orders etc .
I didn't think he would have been as into something as he actually is. He's now worse than me
Ive wore sexy stuff for him before but i think id be too embarresed to do role play... See this is my problem. I can sit here and think yeah ill do this and that when he gets home but then when hes here i get too shy
Talk to him about it if you can? Have a drink before (either the talking or the sex!) bit of Dutch confidence never hurt anyone! If you talk to him about you he may feel more confident thanyou to initiate it, so you'd be less embarrassed that it wouldn't go down right, and he starting it will make you feel like you can continue it if you get me!
If I'm about to do something I am embarrassed or not confident enough to do, I always have a wine :)
You could try waitin until he'd
Asleep. Then hen he's breathing deeply you could whisper some of your desires into his ear. That way he'll "dream" them and you can
Monitor his reaction. Start off by relaxing him. Suggesting he's on a beach or somewhere warm and safe. It works like hypnosis.
Alternatively you could both get drunk and play truth or dare together. If there's
Anything either of you don't like ou can always blame the alcohol.
Finally, after 3 years you could jus tell him. Sit him down,take a deep breath and,as scary as it may seem, be Horst with him. I think that would work the best.
I know he would love it for me to come out my shell lol but i just get too embarresed.
Its his birthday soon so ive bought some toys hence being on here. I was thinking of maybe getting a porn dvd or something and see if that helps spice us up.
Im also on anti-depressives so not always sexualy aroused
Try reading some erotic book. That helped me when I had postnatal depression. It used to get me really turned on and want to try things in the book. I used to read the really kinky parts to my partner and giggle. You could see him instantly getting turned on.
If you haven't tried reading the crossfire trilogy of 50 Shades of grey, then those are good places to begin.
I know your feels here. It's the same with me and my OH. We both have quite a wild imagination, but feel a bit shy about talking about it in person.
We have started to over come this though, by looking on LH site and forum and google searches together.
We've bought a few things from LH to try out and just waiting on postie :)
You guys just need to be open and talk, the worst either of you can say is "No, I don't like the sound of that"
Good luck in exploring XD
Perhaps try a drink first? Or just be really brave once and once u see how turned on it gets him, they'll be no stopping u ;) we like to sext and its a good way of being dirty and sexy but not doing it face to face, that might be less embarrassing? X
i think if you keep reading the forum and read some erotica that will help its helped me come out of my shell with my hubby helping me discuss what i wanted to try with him.
Why not send him a photo of the toys you bought or/and a pic of your underwear, or just your boobs or ass?
As its not face to face you maybe won't feel shy and it might get the ball rolling?
Good luck x
I know how you feel it took about 5 years before me and my OH were comfortable enough to say what we really wanted! In the end i just decided he can only say no! If that's what you're worried about, a porn flick would be a great way to start as you can watch what's doing it for him and start there. It'll get easier as you go if you start out with maybe telling him one of your less 'dirty' fantasies and work up to the bigger stuff. It's well worth it.
Good luck!
Alcohol! Always a good way to approach something uncomfortable. Once started I am sure you will quickly establish a conversation and maybe be surprised. He may want to do naughty things but may have been embarrassed to suggest them to you!
Have you tried by text? I used to be really shy with what I wanted in the bedroom, I then got over it. I don't know how but I was fed up of not getting what I want sexually and decided to just go for it. I first came out via text when I just put some sexy underwear on, sent a pic to the guy I was dating was at his own house and said "Come round to mine, doors open I'll be upstairs wearing this; and I expect you to do this, this, this and this to me.. Now!"
Afterwards he said he almost left the house with no shoes on! He had to run back in for them! lol
I think it may be because you just have to write the text message and then pluck up the courage to send it. You can hmm and arr about it for ages just get that bit of UMPH and once it's gone it's gone you have to follow through.