I have a fantastic boyfriend of a year or so and I love him dearly, however in the bedroom he's quite shy about experimenting with toys and whatnot (basically the things I love) don't get me wrong the sex is fantastic but I'd love to turn up the heat a bit. I've just ordered some Mojo pheromone spray to hopefully get him all worked up when I next see him, but I'd really love to show him how next level awesome our sex life should be. Any tips on how I can help my shy guy unleash the animal that I know is in there? Please help my LH lovelies xx
K x
Honestly, communication is the only thing I can suggest. Make sure you let him know what you want without making him feel insecure or like he's not doing good enough. When he does begin to come out of his shell at all encourage it, make sure he knows it's working for you.
Perhaps ask him if he's got any fantasies, anything slightly 'out of the ordinary' he'd like to try and see if anything develops from there?
Good Luck x
Yep I agree with SC
You need to talk to him, you could even go down the route of saying you were looking online at nice underwear and bring up the lovehoney site on the computer etc and say is there anything else you fancy ordering?
I think that was pretty much how we ended up discussing toys. A few drinks and browsing the site together.... Even now if we have a few drinks together we end up on lovehoney Haha
Tried and tested method, bring up the subject of sexual fantasies when he is turned on. Agree to both write down 5 each, put them in a hat and draw one out each month.
Only one rule, they have to be carried out before the next one is due on the 1st of the next month.
Jessicaleon11: I love the idea of browsing the site with your partner :D
My only suggestion would be to be open, like Shadow Collector suggested. Let him know the types of things you enjoy but don't pressurise him. They may not be his thing or it might take a while for him to get his head around the idea. He may worry you'll go off him if he doesn't like the same things as you so make it clear these things would just be little extras.
When talking about fantasies, make it clear there are no right or wrong fantasies and talking about it doesn't mean you have to do it, or even want to . I know I used to be quite ashamed of some of the things I fantasise about so having someone tell me their fantasies and letting me know any fantasy was ok, made me feel more able to open up.
If I was going to bring in toys or get a little more adventurous with someone who was new to that sort of things, I'd probably suggest starting with something small and non threatening like a little bullet vibe or a massage candle.
My OH was shy about toys in the beginning. He is older than me, a great lover but had never used toys before me. I started by ordering a bullet and leaving it out on charge so he could see it and let him ask about it if he wanted to.
he didn't he just pretended like he hadn't seen it.
So not to be defeated, I introduced the bullet while giving him a blowjob, just rubbing it against his balls. He loved it, and ever since I have purchased new toys, left them out for him to see and get the hang of if he wants. (Let's face it you want a man to know how a toy works before they bring it to bed).
Try introducing a toy while giving him head or use a toy to play with yourself while he watches.
I hope this works for you, it worked well for me.
Friday 13: Haha we love browsing the site together, we tend to egg each other on into trying things we wouldn't normally try.
And occasionally we do a surprise order for one another :)
Fun Louise wrote:
My OH was shy about toys in the beginning. He is older than me, a great lover but had never used toys before me. I started by ordering a bullet and leaving it out on charge so he could see it and let him ask about it if he wanted to.
he didn't he just pretended like he hadn't seen it.
So not to be defeated, I introduced the bullet while giving him a blowjob, just rubbing it against his balls. He loved it, and ever since I have purchased new toys, left them out for him to see and get the hang of if he wants. (Let's face it you want a man to know how a toy works before they bring it to bed).
Try introducing a toy while giving him head or use a toy to play with yourself while he watches.
I hope this works for you, it worked well for me.
+1 to this, as a guy, this would appeal to me as an approach, just try and introduce during Oral
Wow guys! Absolutely overwhelmed by all of your amazing advice, you're all bloody brilliant xx
Lovinthetoys wrote:
Fun Louise wrote:
My OH was shy about toys in the beginning. He is older than me, a great lover but had never used toys before me. I started by ordering a bullet and leaving it out on charge so he could see it and let him ask about it if he wanted to.
he didn't he just pretended like he hadn't seen it.
So not to be defeated, I introduced the bullet while giving him a blowjob, just rubbing it against his balls. He loved it, and ever since I have purchased new toys, left them out for him to see and get the hang of if he wants. (Let's face it you want a man to know how a toy works before they bring it to bed).
Try introducing a toy while giving him head or use a toy to play with yourself while he watches.
I hope this works for you, it worked well for me.
+1 to this, as a guy, this would appeal to me as an approach, just try and introduce during Oral
Thanks it's great to know that I'm on track and it's good to hear a blokes prospective. My OH doesn't talk about what he likes, he just kind of follows me lead.
I asked my oh what his sexual fantasies are, he said I dunno, I don't have any, he doesn't masturbate either (I do a lot :) ) I have posted on here about how shy my oh is, he won't talk about most things it is difficult but hope your oh is more communicative :)