Okay, so I have recently started seeing someone who has never had sex before. This is of course not a problem but I have only slept with one person and they were rubbish at building my confidence so I don't feel great at sex myself. I was wondering if anyone had any tips please on how to make our first sexual experience a good one? I know what I like but I don't want to pressure him since he's a really sweet/nervous guy and I want the focus to be on him really. Tips on how to make him comfortable would also be greatly appreciated
The focus needs to be on you both. Sex is a 2 way thing.
For a good first sexual experience give yourselves plenty of privacy and a good amount of uninterrupted time together. A weekend away? Don't rush things. Experiment on foreplay before the big event. So you know what turns each other on. You could dress up in lingerie. Massage each other
It might be a little awkward to start the conversation but how about a chat about boundaries for you both to start with. So he knows exactly how far to go and not feel as though he shouldn't be doing something and feeling awkward at the moment of passion.
And why not take him out for a meal one night have a few drinks to lighten the mood. Don't mention what might happen afterwards, and keep the conversation as far from sex as possible, this way he won't be getting nervous about what is about to happen,
I think it comes down to time and patience. Make sure your completely away from all distractions(phones and such)and let the situation develope naturally.
Take lots of time building up to the actual sex.then communication.what your enjoying and what he is doing that you like.get him to be the same,what he is enjoying and what you can do for him.what you are doing for each other.
Most importantly, just enjoy yourself.dont overthink it 😉
Take it slowly, try things out, communicate what you like or how to improve on what he is doing i.e."rub a little softer/a little higher up/more pressure". Just slowly slowly and enjoy it as you go along.
well if you have had a bad experience and he is a virgin he you are both going to be nervous. To be honest with a new partner thats normal at first even if you are a dab hand.
I think if you both accept that and agree it will take a while to get up to speed (so to say). I would be honest with him about your experiences with you ex, if he is as caring as you say he will want to make it good for you as well in the long term. And take it gentilly if he has nerves he might have problems keeping it up so no pressure to perform for either of you. I wiouldnt go in with expectations of mind blowing sex, it will take time,
Good luck.
First time poster :)
Sounds similar to my first experience. That you are even asking the question shows that you'll be just fine - your heart is in the right place and he is clearly in safe hands :)
From my own experience it was important to give ourselves lots of uninterrupted time so we didn't rush anything and could enjoy the experience of losing our virginity together (lots of sweat, laughter and plenty of lube). We somehow managed to land a friends beach house for a couple of days and by the end of those two days we had christened every bedroom floor, bed, bench top and sofa. We were besotted with each other and had created some fun memories together.
One of the great things about sex is typically the more you practice the better you get at it (with the right partner). So as long as he knows he doesn't have to start out as some guru I'm sure his confidence between the sheets will grow a lot thanks to your considerate approach. And don't be afraid to let him know what you like - it can be a massive turn on for the guy (and provides him practical help) when buried deep between a gals thighs haha.
Hope it's great fun for you both! Enjoy the adventure together.
Ok so please don't judge me too harshly. So although I have only slept with a handful of men I have had my fair share of virgins (3). My first time was with a virgin too so neither of us knew what we were doing really. I had never masturbated before losing my virginity, so I had no clue what I liked. I don't know why or how, but for me it all came quite naturally (no pun intended). The man I was with was nervous, and I think men are, they worry about performance.
We had been together for about 6 months and has kissed and cuddled, and I use to love getting him excited in public, teasing him something rotten. But when it came to sex, I was very gentle. I took the lead, teased him, stroked him, kissed him in all the right places. I put his hand between my legs, he needed a little encouragement. I was on top and took charge, dictating pace, also no risk of him slipping out. We came together and I had my first orgasm! So it only lasted about 30 mins, but I found out I had a natural flair for bedroom control, and I really enjoyed it.
I think gentle affection is the way to go. I love the power of getting a man excited in public where he can't do anything, it really turns me on. This also gets him use to being excited around you, without anything happening. So it feels safe for him to be aroused around you. As things get closer, I would guide him to finger you. Gently, slowly, offer guidence as required. Let him feel you, it gives him an idea of what to expect you to feel like when it comes to sex. Also if he can make you feel good, get you turned on and excited this will do his confidence the world of good.
My next suggestion you might not like. If he is getting excited and you think he might be too excited or close to finish before you have got started, so to speek, I would slip him into your mouth. This might be new to him too, but if he comes in your mouth he will not feel bad, but if he comes in his pants he might be mortified with embarrassment. Obviously this is up to you, you might not be comfortable with this idea.
The most important things are to take things slowly, react to how you both feel, be safe and reasure him with physical contact (stroking his neck or leg, sot sexually) if things don't go to plan. I hope this helps, and I hope I wasn't too explicit. But I have orgasmed with all three of my virgins at their first times, and they have certainly enjoyed themselves too.
As above, take things s,only and enjoy plenty of kissing, touching, massaging, making sure you feel really nice and wet before you go for it!
Wow Louise that's pretty impressive! I don't cum easily and have only had two orgasms in a lot of sex with me being on top (I on,y cum through foreplay normally and I know a lot of my friends do too) 30mins is a long time to expect a man to last if it's his first but the great thing is that you probably have youth on your side and therefore he will be good to go again!
Enjoy getting to know each other's bodies xxx
Gem276 wrote:
As above, take things s,only and enjoy plenty of kissing, touching, massaging, making sure you feel really nice and wet before you go for it!
Wow Louise that's pretty impressive! I don't cum easily and have only had two orgasms in a lot of sex with me being on top (I on,y cum through foreplay normally and I know a lot of my friends do too) 30mins is a long time to expect a man to last if it's his first but the great thing is that you probably have youth on your side and therefore he will be good to go again!
Enjoy getting to know each other's bodies xxx
As above.
Before you have sex it's probably best to have a slowly get naked session before. Seeing someone naked for the first time can be quite a shock to the system .This is one hurdle that I feel is a must to get out of the way first. Without overcoming this hurdle it could make him far too nervous on the night for when you want to make love. .
I have been the guy in a situation like this and the thing that most shocked me and my partner at the time was the difficulty I had climaxing. The feeling of penetration is way different from masturbation and whilst the intimitacy of the occasion can add excitement it can also add fear.
You may think that his first time might not last very long, but there is a possibility that the opposite may happen and he may struggle to cum from the penetrative stimulation at all - at least not straight away, as he needs to get used to the different feelings he is getting.
Thank you all for the fantastic advice! I have every intention of going slow and I'm happy for him to set the pace since a) my last partner rushed me into sex and b) it seems like he's super nervous about that stuff. Thankfully so far he's been amazing at building my confidence which helps a lot. We've only kissed but he is very attentive and compliments me a lot which bodes well for when we eventually start to do other stuff because it means I feel secure enough to give him the attention he deserves. I like the idea of getting used to each other naked first and of course I intend to discuss boundaries (although I know he isn't entirely sure of his yet) I just want him to know that I won't really be expecting anything from our first time except it bringing us closer together since it's becoming apparent his confidence is very low (He refuses to believe me when I say he's an amazing kisser) and I want him to feel comfortable. The good thing is we do communicate well and I feel fairly confident that I will be able to tell if I am making him uncomfortable or he isn't 100% happy
Try and book a night away in a hotel. It will put you both at ease and no worries of being interupted/caught etc
And even if you fall out of bed at some point youll always remember it and look back at it as a great experience, even if the sex isnt as expected.
I will always remember my first time with current OH as i ended up with a bruised elbow and a speeding fine lol
Just relax , have a laugh about stuff and it will all end up working out