Me and the husband both have our toys that we use on our own as well as together. I'd left my vibe out by mistake last week and he saw I so knew I used it so he was asking how much I really used it on my own which got me thinking. He said he used his Fleshlight about 2/3 times a week and I use my vibe 3/4 times. I think this is pretty normal and we have no problem with this but what do others do or think?
The truthful answer is: As long as you are happy, their is no right or wrong answer. I mean, say if you have a perfectly satisfying sex life, have sex 2 times a day, both feel satisfied from that and still play solo on your own multiple times a week then this is fine. (Although tiring I imagine lol) in the same respect, if you only have sex once a year and both play solo once a month but are both happy with that, then that is fine.
It only really becomes 'not so fine' if you find that your partners masturbation habits are destructive to your relationship. If their solo efforts cause the other person to feel completely left out, or frustrated because they are not getting that intimacy anymore with you due to their partner preferring alone time to mutual time.
I have too high a sex drive (In other words, it has been a running theme throughout 3 different relationships were I have wanted sex way more than my guy. It did make me feel like something was wrong with me because you always here that its men always wanting the sex and trying to get their partners in the mood but for me its always been the opposite way. I wear them out! lol I do something sexual every single day (Unless I am ill lol) but I live with my partner and for the most part, this one can keep up with me (Although we have periods where he can't and then I will masturbate) so for us it is sporadic. Often times we will masturbate together, or he will simply watch me play (in between watching a movie) lol I test a lot of sex toys so me masturbating isnt such a big deal, he just lets me get on with it and joins in if he feels like it!
Let me put it much simpler: If you are both happy and everything is consensual and safe, then do not let the "normal" police make you feel wrong. xxx
I agree with Fluff, there isn't a right or wrong answer with that, so long as you and your husband are happy with your sex life's and neither is feeling left out then I don't see any problem with it. Much like Fluff my sex drive is a lot higher than my OH's sex drive. When he's here he doesn't use toys ect, as we will be intimate together. When he's at home then he will use them whenever he wants, as he knows even when he's here I use mine and he uses mine on me. Since his sex drive is a lot lower than mine is he wouldn't use to toys solo when we're together as he knows that would leave me feeling a little neglected as he wouldn't have the inclination to go later.
I'm with fluffbags on this one. Once a day keeps me sane but I've been with a man who was happy with once a month. Four years with our incompatable sex drives was a little too long and would have felt longer if not for my bunny.
In the end what matters is are you both happy? Outside of masturbation and sex is your relationship healthy and strong? Is he your friend as well as your lover?
Sex isn't everything but I felt really unattractive in that relationship, I tied too much of my self esteem into the quantity and ignored the quality. Outside of the bedroom we drifted apart. He watched more and more sport (which I couldn't and can't abide) and I worked longer and longer hours.
In the end he cheated on me and I spent over a year getting my head back together and finding out what made me happy.
Not sure if she uses any alone, we use them every time together.
Half and half sometimes we will use toys sometimes we won't. It's still amazing ether way! ;)
We use our toys all the time together during our sessions and apart, I work nights occasionally and I know that my OH uses her rabbit nearly every night i'm in work as she either tells me or I get pics, I also have days of in the week so I take advantage and use either my plugs, stroker, ball crushers or penis plug, sometimes all together if i'm extra horny, my OH isn't stupid and knows I do this with out asking!
I would say for every 10 times we have sex 9 will be with toys, dress up and bondage of some sort.
Yeah agree with above comments, whatever's normal for you both as long your both happy and your relationship is good! I used a toy solo at least once a day to orgasm, and use butt lugs toner balls etc in combination or on their own as well whenever I want.
my man has no toys of his own but he has no problem with me using them to my hearts content :) as long as he doesn't get replaced - but I have such a high sex drive I can't see this happening!
When we have sex we don't usually use toys. Maybe 3 times out of ten.. It's usually when we're getting kinky that we actually think to use toys! And then we use a lot of them haha! X
2 or 3 times a week, it varies though.
my toy use varies depending on how i feel so i can go weeks having zero urge to use them then i might get a week where i use something every day
ive been masurbating at least once a day since i got dumped a few months back , and have used my toys everytime . so sometimes up to 3 times a day .
anywhere between 2-5 days a week recently, sometimes more than once a day
It really depends,
I have to say I do feel so lucky that both myself and my wife can talk and discuss what we like and don't like sexually, without there being any hangovers.
I tend to have the higher sex drive, but it was only through discussion about the wife's lower libido that I found out that I was not dressing sexy enough for her.
It did not lead her to want to cheat on me, but left her feeling like it was always her dressing up for the occasion and me getting naked.
Thank goodness she could tell me what she thought would help her libido as it's something I could change and make a concious effort to make more of an effort.
I would not mind one bit if she wanted to use the toys everytime or not at all so long as she has fun and I have fun, I'm not going to get hung up over a piece of plastic. I don't see the difference between a toy and using porn, or roleplaying, or erotic stories. They are all little extras to add to the fun.
The OH and me don't always use toys. It really depends on the mood we are in. They get a regular work out but sometimes, we just want to have a bit more intimate snuggling.
I don't use my toys for solo play very often. We have sex most nights and use the toys during that. So I'm usually satisfied enough to not feel the need to play. I tend to use my toys if my partner is Away on business . He doesn't really like me playing without him.
I'm with Fluffbags too. It really depends on the couple. For us it depends what mood we're in! We have similar sex drives so we tend to save play for eachother, unless we won't see eachother in a while due to work commitments est. I use toner balls every day though.Xx
rubysoho wrote:
ive been masurbating at least once a day since i got dumped a few months back , and have used my toys everytime . so sometimes up to 3 times a day .
With you there sister lol
In as un creepy a way possible, someone dumped KF, I weep for my gender.
(Its funnier if you watch Titan AE a lot)
Woohoo, its on skyplus!
KebertXela wrote:
In as un creepy a way possible, someone dumped KF, I weep for my gender.
(Its funnier if you watch Titan AE a lot)
PMSL you nutter