Just quick low down may help understand. Since finding love honey we developed kinda like routine. Any knew toys we buy we try them ourselves first then bring them into bedroom(just worked for us at first) . As a mum i dont get time !!! Ive only ever asked twice to have private time Yet when he home i send up stairs to try them out all time .Well last night i asked for some time he fine (if he said no i woulsnt i explained this) came down and in short terms he was jealous of my new toy and scared it was gona take over . How can i confort him??? This only been my third time using toy and let me tell you this man puts any woman to shame with his collection and i havd no problem he buggering off with himself and i always make sur im ready by evening for our non toy time too :(
It sounds like he is just a little jealous that you got some solo play time and he didn't . Masturbation and using sex toys can become a bit of an addiction to be honest. It could be he is insecure about your toys taking over because he is noticing himself becoming increasingly obsessed with his own toys x
Have you found that your sex life/intimacy has decreased recently? Perhaps if you haven't been very close, he's just feeling a bit like you want to use your toys instead of being with him. I could be comoletely wrong, but it's just a thought.
You should definitely try and communicate with him about how you're feeling. Maybe you could suggest using the toys together more, rather than separately?
I dont mind if he did get obsessed as id bring them into bedroom.i even offered to get rid of mines but he disagreed .just dont wanna fight or feel guilty cuase i want half hour to myself in the week . Advice on soothig his worries
The only thing you really can do is talk to him and voice your concerns. Has he ever acted jealous of your toys before? Or is it this one particular toy? X
no complete opposite weve been more closer. We had long chat bout our feelings. I use toys once and then bring them in bedroom. We leave toy box on floor and its his choice if he wants to bring them out so we dont really use them unless he wants so just us .Subdom27 wrote:
Have you found that your sex life/intimacy has decreased recently? Perhaps if you haven't been very close, he's just feeling a bit like you want to use your toys instead of being with him. I could be comoletely wrong, but it's just a thought.
You should definitely try and communicate with him about how you're feeling. Maybe you could suggest using the toys together more, rather than separately?
Never been jelous before
I know it's difficult when you have kids in the house, but why not try to masturbate together, using the toys? If you have any chance when he's masturbating, join in with one of your toys.
This ia confusing john69 weve that done already too .
Sounds like he's just being a bit selfish to me. I'd comfort him by saying "what's the difference between my toys and yours" and tell him you want more time to yourself, you're a mum, you get stressed, not even just mastubation, time to relax in a bath. I get the impression you're giving up a lot more than him. Id also make toys more accessible to the both of you, if you want a toy ask for it, it makes things more enjoyable, even if he doesn't want to use it because you're not sat there hoping he'll get a toy out.
At the end of the day, you haven't done anything wrong, and I'm not really sure how you can comfort him. He has toys, so you should be allowed too, if he doesn't want you to have toys then I'd get rid of his too, not out spite but if he's worried about your attachment to your toys it's likely he has an attachment to his.
Young and fun95 wrote:
Sounds like he's just being a bit selfish to me. I'd comfort him by saying "what's the difference between my toys and yours" and tell him you want more time to yourself, you're a mum, you get stressed, not even just mastubation, time to relax in a bath. I get the impression you're giving up a lot more than him. Id also make toys more accessible to the both of you, if you want a toy ask for it, it makes things more enjoyable, even if he doesn't want to use it because you're not sat there hoping he'll get a toy out.
At the end of the day, you haven't done anything wrong, and I'm not really sure how you can comfort him. He has toys, so you should be allowed too, if he doesn't want you to have toys then I'd get rid of his too, not out spite but if he's worried about your attachment to your toys it's likely he has an attachment to his.
+1 I agree completely.
I think he needs to explain what the issue is, because given all the information it doesn't seem to make an awful lot of sense. He has toys, you have an active sex life, you've become closer and yet he's still got something niggling at him.
I definitely don't think you should get rid of your toys, why should you miss out just because he's being daft.
Hope you get it sorted soon x
Thank you everyone . Being honest makes no sense to me either all this but thank you for your honest opinions
I don't have much advice for you really, because my OH and I don't share toys often, but I agree with most of what the PPs have said. If he didn't use toys and you did, and you used them by yourself a lot, then maybe I'd say you should cut back and try to include him a bit more. But if you're saying he has a massive collection and uses his more than you do - well then he is being selfish by the sounds of it.
I think it's fairly common for men to feel jealous of sex toys. My OH has no problem with me using vibrators and whatnot, but he has told me a couple of times that he doesn't want me to ever have a realistic dildo because it makes him feel uncomfortable. I totally respect that though, and to be honest they don't appeal to me anyway. I think you need to have an open and honest discussion and find out what exactly bothers him about you masturbating - is it only with certain toys? Or is it that he wants you to include him all the time?
Masturbation is not only really enjoyable, but healthy in my opinion. Nobody should ever neglect their partner to masturbate, but equally everyone needs their alone time and I think it's important that both parties can respect that. You need your alone time just as much as he does, why don't you ask him how he'd feel if he wasn't allowed to masturbate?
You need to talk to him about why he got so upset over the toy and explain that it is what it is - a toy and nothing compared to the real thing. Whether it's justified or not, he's obviously feeling insecure and he needs to know that he will always come before toys.
That being said, he also needs to accept that you need to be on equal footing, so if he is going to have a toy collection and time to use them, you deserve the same.
Maybe using the toy alone while he was around was the problem as it gave him time to sit and dwell on what you were doing? Best of luck in getting everything sorted.
Thank yous x
Thank yous x
Communication is key. It could just be that he was having a bad day.
Good luck
Just an update : had long chat , we keeping toys and had rules set. Now we rotating days and on ours days we get relaxation hours (basically kid free to what ww want and upstairs off limits ) .during this we do what we want go out/bath /toys/flms etc great if he good gives me to get dressed up to. He still sod not forgiven him but its start. Thank you every one
mrs.hiskett wrote:
Just an update : had long chat , we keeping toys and had rules set. Now we rotating days and on ours days we get relaxation hours (basically kid free to what ww want and upstairs off limits ) .during this we do what we want go out/bath /toys/flms etc great if he good gives me to get dressed up to. He still sod not forgiven him but its start. Thank you every one
Very pleased you've had a chat and worked things out, I hope the new system works out well :) x
Thank you so do i :)