How quickly before you have sex with a girl?

I'm in a new relationship, we've only gone out together a couple of times but already we both want sex is this too fast?

I would say from a girls PoV no not too soon but i just then dont want her to feel like you were just with her for sex IF you happen to break up in a few weeks time.

for example I was with someone once we were together and in the third week we had sex and a week later he said he didnt think it was going to work and broke up with me. that left me thinking oh ok he only wanted sex and now he's gone.

think you need to have a little chat just to see if your on the same page and then if thats a yes, go for it! Good luck!

If you *both* want sex well its not too fast at all is it? Go with the flow dude! Just be safe and respectful. SG

if you both want to go for it, i wouldnt trust a man if he wanted it on first date, i think the lead up of the passion of kissing, hand groping etc is all the fun and lead up to it, just take it a step further on each date

Fister wrote:

I'm in a new relationship, we've only gone out together a couple of times but already we both want sex is this too fast?

If its mutual then no. My personal view is if its right on both sides then there is nothig wrong with that

Lovehoney - Hella wrote:

I'm just in love with the idea that people can have relationships before they've had sex. I've never experienced this and find it terribly romantic! <3

Mmm, I've been going through this recently, it's absolutely fantastic, I can thoroughly recommend it.

Hi Hella,

Here's our romantic story for ya :)

My OH and I met in a cafe where we both used to go before work for morning coffee. We started at seperate tables, progressed to exchanging "good mornings" then shared a table then became closer friends and started going out together, eventually, after about three years of "friendship" we got together for real and I proposed to her shortly afterwards. IMO, friendship is a required pre-requisite for love and we are, first and foremost, the best of friends.

Regards

M4S

Oh and one of my favourite songs is "Bus Stop" by the Hollies, similar kind of thing to us.

ahh M4S thats so sweet! I met my OH at school and he was a right tear away, in fact i can say i didnt like him thought he was a knob for not wanting to get his GSCE's! and then he was expelled from school and i didnt see him for three years.

In that time he had been in and out of prison and become addicted to drugs.

2 years ago we started chatting on facebook and he had been to rehab been clean for a year and had a full time job earning good money and we both had a passion for fast noisy cars :)

we met up for a drink at our local and we hit off. i was imprssed at how much he had comitted himself to himself and he looked very good :) and now we live together woohoo :)

Yes a friendship is very important BUT not a deep meaningful friendship. I would hate to fall in love with an already good good friend and then if it didnt work out to then lose that friend. I could never be with someone that I have known closely since toddler age!

Hiya,

That's a great story!. I guess every circumstance is different, neither of us was looking for a relationship it just grew and grew. I find it almost impossible to seperate a deep meaningful relationship from love, for me the two are synonymous, I know the term "soul mates" is very overused and makes me want to put my fingers down my throat, but, for lack of a better term, it does describe our relationship pretty well, we have a very real sense of empathy, I know how she feels without being told and she knows my mood etc.. It is virtually impossible for us to hide anything emotional from each other. Sometimes friendship develops into something more, sometimes it doesn't, that's just a fact of life I think. Without our long term friendship and understanding first I doubt that things would have ever developed into anything more.

i think of it as we were brought together by fate. i think its incredible that i hated him when we were at school and now i love him to pieces couldnt be without him. we met up and we were just friends i found out he liked me more than a friend but i didnt really feel the same about him. we kept seeing each other more and actually as our friendship grew so did my love for him. i actually fell in love him as aposed to liking him instantly thats what makes it special for me.

Anyways enough with the mushy stuff lol

fister let us know how it goes :)

Nuffink rong wiv a bit of romance :)

i didnt say there was ;-)

:) I know you didn't ;-)

Hi Hella,

At the end of the day, IMO, there's no rights or wrongs, no correct order of doing things and no incorrect order, life doesn't come with a handbook does it? :). One thing can lead to another, the "getting there" is all part of the experience and the fun. As for sex I see it as an important part of the whole, nothing more and nothing less.

Kind regards

M4S

Mad4Sex wrote:

Hi Hella,

Here's our romantic story for ya :)

My OH and I met in a cafe where we both used to go before work for morning coffee. We started at seperate tables, progressed to exchanging "good mornings" then shared a table then became closer friends and started going out together, eventually, after about three years of "friendship" we got together for real and I proposed to her shortly afterwards. IMO, friendship is a required pre-requisite for love and we are, first and foremost, the best of friends.

Regards

M4S

Sounds good to me, I'm with you on the friendship issue, but, each to their own.

Mad4Sex wrote:

Hi Hella,

At the end of the day, IMO, there's no rights or wrongs, no correct order of doing things and no incorrect order, life doesn't come with a handbook does it? :). One thing can lead to another, the "getting there" is all part of the experience and the fun. As for sex I see it as an important part of the whole, nothing more and nothing less.

I couldn't have put it better myself, you've hit the nail on the head for me M4S.

Lovehoney - Hella wrote:

I'm just in love with the idea that people can have relationships before they've had sex. I've never experienced this and find it terribly romantic! <3

I'm afraid I'm a bit more impatient than this, I slept with hubby on the first night we met

CurlyCoupleWife wrote:

I slept with hubby on the first night we met

So I guess he's just that gorgeous, then?

My fastest (and my first time) was literally a couple of days into the relationship. It didn't feel rushed at all, and we both wanted it, so I'd say that it's perfectly possible to move quickly if that's right for you both.

On the other hand, other relationships have been slower-burning to start with and taken weeks or months to go from friendship to actual penetrative sex (with a lot of the intervening time exploring all the other kinds of sex!)

The important thing (I think) is to realise that just because the relationship gets physical doesn't mean it's necessarily that deep, and just because it's deep doesn't mean it has to get physical. Both kinds can be good on their own, and you should enjoy your own relationship for what it is. Take things as they come, as it were...

All the best,

MrMr

I waited 3 months before I slept with my OH. I wanted there to be meaning behind it. He went through a difficult patch at the start of our relationship and I stood by him the whole way. We both knew that we loved each other and so when we did sleep together it was all the more special. Since then, we love each other more each day.